Yet Another Story
by Purple Mouse
Summary: Sequel to 'Another Story.' ^_^ The beginning of the spring semester for Ryuuen and his reincarnated friends. They thought the hard part was over, but as it turns out, they were wrong. Ryuuen's POV; shounen ai (Ryuuen + Sai, WOOHOO!!). Ch. 23: MELODRAMA!
1. Default Chapter

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Disclaimers: **does the sign language equivalent of "I Don't Own Fushigi Yuugi"**

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Warnings: Although this story is now rated PG-13, it contains very nasty language thanks to our good pal Tasuki. And, depending on how things go, there is a definite possibility that this fic _will _be rated R _and rightly so _in chapters to come. ^^;; 

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Notes: Wellllll, I'm back!! Hiiiiii. **waves sheepishly** I couldn't keep away from the darn story. I tried to get out, _but it kept pulling me back in_!!!! Soooo…yeah. Here you have it. ^^;; Hope you guys like it. Thanks to Ryu-chan for helping me with this. ^_~

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YET ANOTHER STORY

(original, ne? --;; )

Chapter One:

…Or Something.

In the course of one's life, one will be subject to any number of strange coincidences, some of which are very nice, others of which are sent by the devil himself to make one's life an utter living hell. This latter was the type that awaited me on the first day of the new semester. The time: eleven o'clock a.m. The class: Introduction to Arthurian Literature.

The coincidence: Chuin Ryo.

Not only had I spent practically the whole last season trying desperately to _ignore _the guy, I never ever ever even wanted to _see _him again. He'd been scary as hell, trying to call me, get me to go out with him, blah blah blah…not to mention the fact that he chased me through the woods one night like a crazy psycho _freak_. But, on that ill-fated Monday, there he was, acting as if nothing awkward had ever happened between us.

I'd seen him in the distance as I approached my building, and had sped up immediately, trying to get the heck away. But alas, luck was not with me that day.

"Ryuuuuuennn!!!" he called, and I almost tripped. 

I could've kept right on going. I could've pretended I hadn't heard him. But inbred politeness forced me to acknowledge him. Inbred politeness sucks.

"Hiiii," I said, hoping I didn't look _too _insincere. "Umm, I really gotta hurry to class…sorry! Catch ya later!"  
  
_Well handled. Good job. Now hurry up and…_

"Yeahhh, my class is in there, too!"

__

…God dammit to hell.

"Rrrreally." I tried to keep my teeth from clenching as he jogged up beside me, long silvery ponytail trailing out behind him like some kind of flying brain-sucker attached to his head. "What…class do you have?"

"Arthurian Lit!"

__

God, no. No, no, no…PLEEEEASE, say it's not true!!! Waahahahaaaaa, it's not fair!!!!!

"Oh," I squeaked. "What…a coincidence."

His thin lips curled into a smile as we progressed to the door. "You're in it, too?? Whoah! I had a _feeling _you'd be taking this class!"

__

I could kill myself quite easily by throwing myself down those stairs…

Once we reached the classroom, Chuin babbling about video games and how he sometimes didn't wash his underwear because he used the quarters at the arcade, I prayed that there wouldn't be enough seats empty for him to sit by me. Ironically enough, the _second_ annoying coincidence of the day was that there were _exactly _two desks open. 

__

Next to each other.

I sank wearily and stiffly into the chair, clutching my khaki satchel tightly with both hands, praying to Suzaku that he was over me. Maybe he was sorry for all the grief he'd caused me. Last thing I heard, my best friend Genrou had chewed him out rudely at a McDonalds; maybe he had learned from the experience and no longer considered me a potential conquest. 

Apparently, Suzaku was off bowling that day, or something, because the first thing Pansy Stalker Boy (to use Gen-chan's fond nickname) said to me when the bell rang was, "So…ya busy this weekend?"

"Uhhh…." I threw on my coat as quickly as possible. "Yyyyeahhhh…I really have to…" _Thinkthinkthink, something plausible, c'mon!! _"…work on my thesis!! Man, I totally slacked off last semester…I have a lot going on this spring, so I have to spend as much time as possible…" Throwing him an apologetic grin, I headed toward the door. "Sorry, ahhhh…gotta run, gotta meet someone…"

And…he…_followed me_.

"Oh, well, I'm heading that way, myself. Look…"

__

GYAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

"I'm really sorry about what happened that time, you know, when I tried to talk to you and you didn't wanna talk…" he cleared his throat. "And I just thought, well, maybe you could give me another chance!"

I refrained from reminding him that _"trying to talk" _to me had involved grabbing my arm when I tried to get away like he was a freaky midnight rapist, and had succeeded in scaring me out of every single one of my wits. If Sai hadn't come along and…

…

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Ahhhhh, Ryuuen. You stupid, stupid boy.

"Chuin," I said, stopping and facing him, seeing The Solution shining before my eyes like a beacon, "I can't. Fact is, I have a boyfriend."

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LEEEET THE TRUMPETS BAYYYYY!!!! LEEEEEET THE MINSTREL SIIIIIING!!!!!! LAALALAAAAALALALAAAAAAA!!!!!! Aaaaand strikeaheroicpose.

His head jerked back, eyes widening slightly, going a shade or two paler. And I actually felt _bad _for the guy. I knew I shouldn't have; I knew I had a right to be freaked out by him, and there was _no way_ I was gonna be ashamed I'd told him about Saihitei. But I hated making anyone upset, even creepy people who thought I'd look good in drag.

__

He doesn't even know you. He only likes you because you're probably the only other guy he knows who likes other guys. 

Even so, I felt guilty.

"Look," I said, "I'm sorry. I didn't want to lead you on, or…or whatever. I admire your…persistence…"—_wince_—"and I think it took a lot of guts. But…it's just not gonna work out." _Because you're a psychotic freak!!!! _"I'm sure you'll find someone else…" _someone who's INTERESTED_.

He swallowed, and I waited patiently for him to say something like, "Ah! Well, then, I shall trouble you no further…" and walk away. _Hurrahhh!!! _I thought in jubilation, _I have a boyfriend now!! He's gotta understand that! And I will be free of him!! Freeeeee freeeeeee freeeeeeeee…_

"Is it serious?"

__

Hit him. Hit him. Hit him.

"Because we're _meant _to be together, Ryuuen," Chuin said earnestly, reaching out and taking my hand. "I can _feel _it."

__

Why is this HAPPENING TO ME???? Suzakuuuuuuu!!!! How am I supposed to be a good Celestial Warrior if I have to worry about stupid stuff like this???!!! 

"Ahahahahahahaha!!" I said forcefully, removing my hand from his slimy grip. "Did I say _boyfriend_??? I meant girlfriend!! Yeeeeahhhhhhhhhhh…we've been friends for a while now and we just decided to get together and it's really serious and I kissed her on the mouth so I gotta go meet her, g'bye!!!" With that, I turned and fled. I didn't know if he'd buy it, but hopefully he'd take the hint _this time. _There was nothing unclear about what I had just done! I might as well have pinned a big sign on my back that said "LEAVE ME ALONE" in huge red letters.

__

It's gonna be freaking hard to avoid him now that we've got a class together, I thought desolately.

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Maybe he'll drop.

Ah, the blessed flower of hope that bloomed in my heart!! Gag. But somehow, I doubted he'd do anything of the sort. He hadn't given up when I'd said no to coffee and a movie. He hadn't given up when I'd deleted his emails, and he hadn't given up when I'd _punched him into a glass window. _So I was probably stupid to think that this boyfriend thing was gonna make a difference in his behavior. I was trapped forever. For a moment, the thought occurred to me that Chuin going after me when I was in love with someone else was not really all that different from Nuriko going after Hotohori when _he _was in love with someone else. But…but it _was _different! I'd never…_stalked _him, or anything. I never even _told _him how I felt. And besides, Hotohori _had _loved me, which was _certainly _not the case with the whole Chuin Situation.

__

Completely different.

As I hurried off around the corner, I found myself suddenly colliding with a small, solid Something in the shape of a person. (I use the term "small" relatively, since the object was a fair bit bigger than I was.) Naturally, the person-shaped Something turned out to actually be _a person_; a woman, in fact, with short-cropped blond hair and blue eyes.

"Eep!" I cried, stumbling backward from the force of the crash, falling on my rear end, and scraping my palms against the pavement of the sidewalk. "Ahhh! I'm sorry! Sorry, sorry about that…"

"My goodness!! Are you all right?" she exclaimed, eyes going wide. "Here…"

I accepted her hand as she offered it to me, a sheepish smile on my face, and she lugged me to my feet with amazing strength. "Thanks…I'm really sorry, I was…"

"Don't worry about it," she told me kindly, and helped me dust the snow off of my satchel. "Not your fault."

"Are you okay?"

With a laugh, she raised her eyebrow at me. "I'm not the one who fell."

"Ehehe…point."

"Well…sorry to rush off, but I've gotta go. See ya round!" 

And with that, she was off, tossing me a smile and a Miss America-like wave. And I remained standing there with snow-wet pants and scraped hands, staring after her like she was some kind of beauty queen and I was as straight as they come. 

__

There's something about that girl…

"RYUUUUUUU-CHAAAAAAAANNNNNN!!!!"

Blinking, I moved my gaze across the street, where a red-headed figure in a beaten black leather jacket was waving his arms wildly, apparently attempting to catch my attention. Before I could think to respond, he was at my elbow, baring his fangs in a grin.

"GAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" I yelled, jumping back and almost falling on my butt _again_. "_Gen-chan_!!!! Don't _do _that!!!"

He rolled his eyes and brought one hand up to his head. "Why the fuck not? Not like anyone'd fuckin _notice_. M'too fuckin fast fer that." Genrou's Special Seishi Power was speed—the movement, not the drug, as unlikely as that may sound—which he had only recently rediscovered, and he seemed to take great pleasure in flaunting the talent. "So who's the fuckin chick?"

I shrugged. "Dunno."

"Didn't think ya went fer that kinda thing. Shit, man, how ya gonna break it to Sai?"

He was teasing, and I ignored him. "What's up? Why the excited waving and speedy jaywalking?"

"Dude!!" Genrou's eyes lit up. "Kouji and I're gonna go see 'Lord of the Rings!' Wanna come? Do-ya-fuckin-do-ya?"

"You haven't seen it yet?"

He froze. "Ehhh…no! Why? You fuckin seen it?"

Beaming, I held up my hand, fingers spread. "Five times."

"_FUCK_!!! You're fuckin _kiddin _me!

"Nope." I shook my head. "Twice with Sai, once with Miaka and Taka and Houjun and Kouran and Sai, once with Doukun and Myojuan and Sai, and once with Taka and Doukun and Sai." 

"_What_, so ya just kinda fuckin _neglected _ta invite _me_??!" he exclaimed, looking hurt. "Ya fuckin go see the damn movie with _everyone in the fuckin free world _except for _me_??!"

"You were always _busyyyyyy_," I defended myself. "You were always out with Kouji or visiting your family or reading Harry Potter or something!!"

He fumed, pouting, and crossed his arms.

"Gen-_chaaaaaaaannnnnnn_," I said. "Don't be mad. C'mon. I'll go see it with you guys tonight, okayyyy?"

"Hmph," he grunted pleasantly.

"What time is it playing?"

"Dunno. But we thought maybe 'round seven, or so, seein as how it's a three-hour movie and all you fuckin kids can't miss your fuckin bedtimes."

"Okay, well…wanna call Sai's cell phone when you find out? I'm heading over to his place to study right after he gets done with class, so that's where I'll be."

Genrou snorted, giving me a sly look. "Riiiiiiiight. '_Studyyyyy_.'" 

I blushed. He didn't seem to get the fact that, even though Sai and I had been going out for nearly three months and I spent the weekends at his place and had my own sock drawer in his bedroom, we weren't very "intimate" at all. Well…we were intimate in the sense that he knew almost everything about me, and I about him. But physically… I wasn't ready—didn't know if I'd _ever _be ready—and he didn't push. And…I liked it that way. Sometimes, I worried about whether _Saihitei _liked it that way. I mean, just because I didn't want that didn't mean that _he _didn't. I hoped he was really okay with it, and not just saying so to make me feel better. He did that sometimes.

While this pleasant and somewhat intellectual little train of thought was running through my mind, I responded to Genrou's teasing by lashing out and punching him into the nearest wall. 

"_WHAT THE FUCK??!!_" he cried after he had peeled himself off of the bricks of the Colonial Pantry. "A guy can't even fuckin _play around_??!!"

"Eheheh," I said, hiding my smarting fist behind my back and giving him an apologetic smile. "Sorry; reflex."

"Yer a fuckin violent little punk, ya know that?" he complained, rubbing his jaw. "No shit! And the fuckin scary thing is, ya wouldn't fuckin think it, lookin at you. Yer a fuckin scrawny, sappy little guy; who knew ya carried this much fuckin _rage_."

"I am not _sappy_!!" I protested.

He regarded me skeptically.

"I'm _not_!!"

"Look, man; a fuckin _tree's _got nothin on you," he informed me. "But hey, what the hell; you're in love, right? And fuckin lovebirds are supposed to be fuckin sappy. If they ain't, there's somethin wrong with em. Ahhh, speakin of which…" he waved his hand nonchalantly. "You can bring yer fuckin boytoy, if ya want. Whatever. You two can get all fuckin cutesy and share a fuckin beverage and hold hands and shit like that, and if anyone gives you shit or even looks atcha funny, Kouji and me'll fuckin beat the living crap out of 'em!!!!" Adopting a fierce and stalwart William Wallace-type stance, fists clenched, Gen-chan looked like he was about to take on The WWF Embodiment of Homophobic Tendencies, or something.

__

Awww.

  
My indignation faded immediately. "Thanks, Gen-chan. That's really nice of you. But I don't think we'll have much of a problem, seeing as how most of the people I meet think I'm a girl anyway."

He nodded. "True."

"_True_?? Whadda ya mean, '_true_'??!" I said, pretending to be offended.

"Shit, Ryuuen! You fuckin said it, not me!!"

"You think I look like a _girl_???" Pouting, I gave him my best Big Eyes.

"I think yer fuckin _actin _like a fuckin girl!! Snap the fuck out of it!"

I giggled. "Okay, okay. Hey, I gotta run; gotta get over to Panera to meet Sai, his class is over in ten minutes. You wanna come have lunch with us?"

"Nahhhh, I'd be a fuckin third wheel."

"You would _not_!" I exclaimed, distressed. "We're not like that! Just because we're…well, it doesn't mean that we ignore our friends!!"

Genrou rolled his eyes. "Ya got the fuckin mood swing thing covered today, Ryuu-chan."

"Do we make you feel weird when you're around us and we do couple stuff?" I worried.

"Dude, if that kinda thing fuckin bothered me, it's fuckin Taka and Miaka I'd talk to, not you. Shit, wouldja fuckin calm _down_?! I didn't mean to start a whole fuckin Worry Fest!! All I _meant _was, you guys might wanna do stuff alone sometime, without my ugly face gettin in the way. And besides, no way I'm gonna eat at fuckin Panera. Fuckin preppy haven."

I don't know why this surprised me. I mean, I'd always known Genrou was a lot softer than he let on. When we were eleven, I had really liked this cartoon show about this guy with a magical talking stuffed elephant, and Gen-chan had thought it was the stupidest thing in the world. But then I'd gotten sick and was in the hospital for about a week, and when he came to visit me, he brought me a stuffed elephant with a blue bow, just like the one in the show. (I still had it, actually; it was on top of my bookcase at home.) Of course, he'd denied the whole thing after I'd gotten better. That's just the way he was. And now was no different. He wanted me and Sai to have time to ourselves! What a nice guy!!

I couldn't think of a single thing to say, so I settled for, "You're not ugly. You're very…"

"Just fuckin stop right there," he growled, raising a finger at me. "Don't fuckin cross that line, pal."

It was my turn to roll my eyes. "Ahhh, jeez… A girl can say she thinks Julia Roberts is pretty without getting stared at. What's wrong with guys?!?"

"I ain't Julia Roberts."

"No kidding. The fangs kinda threw me off there for a sec."

"Gahhh, whatever. Go on, get outa here; don't fuckin wanna be late to meet fuckin Prince Charming." He turned and began to walk away, hands stuffed in the pockets of his coat.

"Bye, Gen-chan!" I beamed, waving at his back even though he couldn't see me. "Call Sai about the movie, okay?"

He made a "Yeah, yeah," gesture with his hand, and I spun around and headed off to Panera to meet my terrific, wonderful, and in every way perfect boyfriend. As I neared the restaurant, I saw him sitting near the window, looking for me; when he saw me coming, his eyes lit up and he gave one of his knee-weakening smiles.

Somehow managing to keep standing despite the weakened knees and the bubbly fluttering of my heart, I waved at him wildly, sped up my pace, and hurried into the warmth of the small building, where I was greeted with open arms and a kiss on the forehead.

And even after three months, the immediate reaction of my brain to this goopy display of affection remained the same:

__

Ehehehehehe.

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TBC…

Notes: ^^;; Oh, yeah; I'm gonna be out of town from Monday until Friday, so I won't be able to get on a computer and update or read anything!!! **sniff** Just to let you guys know. It'll be a cool vacation, though. ^__^ And I'll be back on Friday night! WOO!!

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YET ANOTHER STORY AKUGI!!!! (this is reeeeeally bad. ^^;; )

Genrou: I ain't Julia Roberts.

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Ryuuen: What? No expletive?

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Genrou: I ain't fuckin Julia Roberts.

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Ryuuen: Well, _I _coulda told you that. You don't even know her!

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Genrou: GODDAMMIT!!! You fuckin set me up!!!!!!!!

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Ryuuen: ^_~

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Mouse-chan Says: The subliminal message for this chapter was "Sex." Every time I went to type something beginning with "Ex," such as "Explain" or "Expletive," I would somehow screw up and an S would find its way into the word, leaving me with such interesting verbs as "To Sexplain" and equally interesting nouns such as "Sexpletive." --;; I would like to believe that this prefix is actually indicating the Latin number six, as one might find in the words "Sextet" and "Sextuplets," because frankly…well…just _because_. ^^;;

Jaaaa, minnaaaaaaaaaa!!!!


	2. And In That Darkness...

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Disclaimers: :P

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Warnings: Shounen ai!!! Big time!! Not much else. Unless you count sap. ^^;;

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Notes: Errrrrr…sorry this took so long. ^^;; I didn't want it to take so long!! I just had too much stuff to do. Argh argh argh. Hope this is okay; it's reeeeally sappy. ^^

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YET ANOTHER STORY

Chapter Two:

And In That Darkness…

For the sixth time, the movie was super super cool! Doukun, Myojuan, Taka, and Shouka actually wound up coming, too, and ironically enough, we saw Doulin, Lanva, and Kaen at the theater seeing the same thing! It was a nice little Reincarnated Seishi Movie Excursion, even though only we Suzaku knew about the Seishi thing. Sai had said that Kaen had been a Seiryuu no Shichiseishi, same as the guy who'd killed me (which is weird to say and even weirder to think about). Doulin and Lanva worshipped a big white tiger, or something. I made a mental joke to myself to get those two out to Las Vegas some time to see the Siegfried and Roy show. Maybe it'd spark some memories, or something. Maybe they'd even join the show, do some seishi power stuff and become world famous.

Then I realized that the mental joke was getting waaayyy too detailed to be considered sane, and I forced my brain to stop thinking and focus on Mitzi from 'Priscilla, Queen of the Desert' ordering his army to attack Mount Doom.

The movie version of The Fellowship of the Ring was the best thing to happen to me since Drunken Sloshed Sai had caught me in a liplock and started the whole relationship thing. I read the books a long long _long _time ago, when I was eight or nine, and all I'd had to assuage my dreams to see it in movie form was that creepy cartoon version from the 70s. It was about time they made a decent live-action version!! 

It had opened on Wednesday, December 19th, but I had been so excited about it that Sai had taken me to the very first showing, the Tuesday before at midnight. He bought us popcorn and soda and Milk Duds—I teased him and said he was going to make me sick, but it was fun having so much food, somehow, even when I knew we would never eat it all. We got there early enough to get a seat in the second row of seating in the Stadium Seating part of the theater, right in the middle. It was one of the best movie-going experiences I'd ever had.

Of course, having everyone seeing the movie at once was a lot of fun, too. I wished Miaka, Houjun, and Kouran were there, to make our family complete. But they were stuck out in Indiana at Perry University, and I wouldn't see them until February, when Miaka was planning on visiting. 

After it was over, we all hung out in the lobby for a while. Gen-chan was going on and on about how (insert expletive) awesome the movie was; I teased him about how he reminded me of Gimli the dwarf, and he switched emotions quickly and started calling me Goblin Boy. When the ushers started giving us dirty looks and everyone decided to head home, Sai said I could spend the night at his place, if I liked.

Who was I to say no? 

It was a school night, and I had a class at nine the next day, but it was the _first day _of school (therefore, a small amount of celebration was A-OK!). And Sai said he'd drop me off at class in the morning, since he had one himself at nine thirty. So I went, and we watched TV for a while on the couch and drank lemon tea before going to bed.

I loved sleeping with Sai. (Oh, for crying out loud, SLEEPING. Not SLEEEEEEPING!!) Having him there beside me, hearing him breathe, feeling his arms around me… When someone sleeps with you like that, sleeping and not SLEEEPING, protecting you and keeping you warm, it means they really, really love you. It makes you feel like you're important, important enough to _be _protected. Maybe it wasn't "manly," but gender roles are so dumb sometimes. Why can't people just be who they are without worrying that they're doing something wrong? 

Okay, enough of the mushy stuff.

I had a pair of pajamas in one of my drawers at the house, so there was no problem in that arena. They were Peacock Green—judging by the color names of Prismacolor pencils—with pale yellow along the collar and cuffs and down the front. Sai had gotten them for me for Christmas, and they were very, very comfy—just like Sai himself, ehehehehe—and I loved them—just like Sai again, ehehehe! Big coincidence there—even though they were a little too big.

Did I say _enough _of the mushy stuff? It just keeps taking over. Siiigh.

"Do you want an extra blanket, or anything?" Sai asked me, turning down the covers of the bed as I emerged from the bathroom, mouth tingling from recent Listerine application.

"No, I think I'll be okay," I said, _still _not able to escape the slight heat that spread across my cheeks at his concern. I got cold really easily, and he knew that; what's more, he actually took measures to _help _me. It was just a little thing, really, and Genrou—_all _of my friends, at that—would probably have asked the same thing. (Well, Genrou would've found some way to make it sound like he didn't really care. But whatever.) But somehow, coming from Sai, it was different. Everyone else did it out of "You're My Friend And I Care For You" Love, but he did it out of "You're The Person In My Life That Matters The Most And I Want To Be With You Forever" Love. Maybe that's stupid; maybe it doesn't make any sense at all. But love hardly ever makes sense, I guess. It doesn't have to, though; it just…_is_.

So, anyway, yeah…no to the extra blanket. And I got into bed while he brushed his teeth and combed his hair and did his Noxeema and whatever else, and was halfway asleep already when he returned.

I felt the mattress shake as he climbed in beside me, heard the click of the lamp being dimmed, and then he was behind me, arms around my waist, holding me gently against his chest.

"Mmmf," I greeted eloquently.

"Are you warm enough?" he wanted to know.

Turning so that my head pressed into his shoulder, I twined my own arms under his with a contented sigh. "Mmmna," I said, which, translated, is roughly equivalent to "I am now, thank you very much for inquiring, you're such a gentleman."

"There's only a month until Valentine's Day, you know." He was running a hand through my hair. He seemed to like to do that. "What would you like to do?"

__

VALENTINE'S DAY!!! MY FIRST ONE!! My first Valentine's Day with a valentine!! Candy hearts and chocolate and for once I won't spend it pigging out with Gen-chan and throwing candy wrappers at people kissing in the park! I HAVE A VALENTINE!!!!! Wait a moment…I AAAAAM A VALENTINE!!!!

Apparently, the shock of this was too much for my conscious self to register at the moment, because I remained eerily calm. "Mmmm…s'alittle early, innit?" was all I said with a sigh, and snuggled closer, nuzzling my nose against his chest. 

__

I love my Sai. He's so comfy.

"I know," he laughed softly. "But it's our first one. If you'd like to do something special, I can make reservations early to make sure we get them. If you'd like to go to a nice restaurant, or go to a concert in town…whatever you'd like."

I opened my eyes and blinked for a while. He was asking _me _what _I _wanted to do? Didn't he know I wasn't good at that sort of thing? Of course he knew. So why was he even bothering?

"Well," I said, "do _you_ wanna do any of those things?"

"I asked you first."

__

He's so cute when he's playful.

I thought about it for a while, then replied truthfully, "I don't really want anything big and expensive, you know? I just want to be with you. If you wanna go out or whatever, that's fine. I don't care what we do, as long as I'm with you."

__

Those've gotta be movie lines, or something. You just can't escape the sap, can you? Ahh, it's hopeless. Just let it go.

He was silent for a while, but during that silence, he gave me a squeeze that said what I'd just told him had been well received. "How about if we have dinner here?" he said finally. "I'll make you dinner, and we can watch a video or something. How does that sound?"

"That'd be great," I whispered happily. "I like that idea."

"There's one catch, though."

"Mm? What?"

"Since I picked what we're doing, you have to decide what you want for dinner and what we watch."

"_Both_?" I squeaked. "Sai, that's not fair! I can't do _both_!! _You _have to pick the movie!!"

"All right, all right. What should I make for dinner, then? I could do filet mignon, or some nice salmon…"

"Can we have spaghetti?"

He burst out laughing, lowering his forehead to the top of my head. I felt the blushing start again. "Ahhh, Ryuuen," he chuckled. "Do you have any idea how much I love you?" 

I pulled away a little so I could look in his eyes and check to see if he was fooling. I knew he wasn't, I guess. But it still seemed so _new_…and a lifetime of being romantically abstinent didn't help reality to set in any faster. It still made my heart swell to see nothing but earnest truth in Sai's beautiful golden eyes. It also still made me blush like a sunburned tomato, and I again tucked my head into the space between his shoulder and neck, trying to hide my face. 

"Okay." He rubbed my back. "I think…sleep now, right?"

"Sai?"

"Mm?"

Rotating my head the slightest bit, so that my forehead rested against the side of his neck and I could actually breathe again, I tried to stifle a yawn. "Will you stay with me forever?"

He gathered me closer, wrapping the blankets more tightly around us. 

"Longer."

__

Ehehehehehehehehe…What did I do to deserve this guy? Save the entire world from destruction, or something?…

…Oh, yeah. Duh.

"Sai…"

"Mm hmm?"

Slight pause.

"I love you, too, you know."

Never moving his arm from around me, he reached back and turned the lamp completely off.

"I know."

There was darkness. And in that darkness, there was nothing but him and me.

(_For heaven's sake. Genrou's right. You are a TOTAL sap._)

~*~

"Ryuuen!!" __

I looked up with a gasp, but strangely, I moved in slow motion; my hair floated around my face as if I was under water. There was nothing around me but air, swirling thick and opaque across my vision. My feet were hidden in the mist, but they weren't touching the ground.

"Ryuuen!! Turn around!"

I did as the voice said, turned slowly, and broke out into a smile. "Sai!"

He grinned back as I floated toward him, and caught me in his arms, swinging me around and laughing. His hair shone in the dim light, the long ponytail drifting out behind him; there was a sparkle in his eyes, reflecting the brightness of his smile. And he was smiling for me.

"Where are the others?" I wondered aloud as we spun through the cloudy air.

"I don't know," he replied. "We're alone."

"I have to write my thesis," I informed him solemnly.

Sai nodded. "You should have done it last semester."

Suddenly stricken by a fluttering desire, I wrapped my arms around his neck and said, "I'd like to kiss you." And in my dream, I didn't blush.

As he did not protest, I moved my mouth closer and closer to his, closing my eyes…but something made me stop right before we touched. It was if something was stopping me, restraining me…and it didn't make sense. 

Why couldn't I kiss him?

Confused, I pulled back slightly and opened my eyes to see…

~*~

"Ryuuen! _Ryuuen_!!"

__

Something shaking me…It wasn't him; it wasn't him…

I opened my eyes quickly, realized I was panting, lying on my back and staring up at the ceiling. Sai was leaning over me, hands on my shoulders, peering down with a worried expression, his hair falling around his face in sepia waves; as soon as I awoke, he stopped his gentle shaking and let out a breath.

For the longest time, there was no sound in the room besides my own heavy breathing. The dream was still vivid in my mind; at the end, at the end…I had looked up…and it hadn't been him. And it had frightened me. I couldn't remember why, but it had frightened me…

"Are you all right?" Sai asked, stroking my cheek with his thumb. "You called out."

I looked up at him, breathing slowing. "I did?"

A nod. "Did you have the nightmare again? Ashitare?"

Shaking my head, I turned on my side and hugged him. "No…it was just weird. I'm…I'm sorry."

"There's no need to be sorry. Are you sure you're all right? Do you want something to drink?"

I shook my head again. "I'm okay. Let's…let's just go back to sleep, okay?"

"All right." The light was turned off once more, and before I knew it, Sai was asleep with his cheek on the top of my head, his breath gently rustling my hair. From the safety of his arms, I told myself that I should have no trouble sleeping again…but I couldn't stop thinking.

What did the dream mean? Why had it scared me? Why hadn't Sai been himself? The questions made my head spin in circles, an effective ward against dozing off. I finally told myself that I was an idiot, that some dreams are just _dreams_, and don't mean anything. Maybe it was the popcorn I'd had at the movie. Maybe it was something I saw on TV.

__

You've gotta learn not to be so obsessed with the supernatural. Seishi or no seishi, EVERYTHING doesn't happen like that.

It took quite a while, but eventually, Sai's embrace and my own repeated insistences relaxed me enough so that I could fall asleep.

****

TBC…

Notes: Eheh…okay. Notes. Number One: Mitzi from 'Priscilla' is played by Hugo Weaving, who (if you couldn't tell from the context ^_~ ) also plays Elrond, as well as Agent Smith from The Matrix. ^___^ Sorry if this chapter was too boring. There's…more "interesting" stuff coming soon. ^^;;


	3. "Smile, You Are Loved"

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Disclaimer: Nanananana…

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Warnings: Shounen ai, and SAP SAP SAP. --;; Enough sap to fill a cement truck, or ten. Chocolate, stuffed bears, and stalkers. **shrug**

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Notes: **wave wave** Hiiiii, everyone!! Hope you guys like this ^^;;

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YET ANOTHER STORY

Chapter Three:

"Smile, You Are Loved"

Time passed, as it has a habit of doing, and before I knew it, it was the week of Valentine's Day!! Miaka was supposed to come down that Wednesday, and the two of us were planning on going shopping for stuff to give to The Boys. I was _unnaturally _excited, so much so that, on my way to Arthurian Literature, I almost forgot that I would see Chuin in class.

I had been stricken by a morbid fear of attending that particular class, which conflicted annoyingly with the fact that it was actually _interesting_. Many times, I would be so overcome with anti-Chuin sentiment that I would seriously consider skipping in order to avoid his ogling eye. But then I always yelled at myself, because it was really pretty stupid. I was no wimp, after all! I wouldn't let a silly thing like a psycho stalker keep me from going to class! I'd stick it out; I would not be defeated! I would not _let _myself be defeated!

And then I would march into the room with my head held high, see Chuin's eyes light up like beacons at my sudden presence, and wish to Suzaku that I were invisible or dead. Preferably invisible.

That day, I overcame my discomfort by ignoring him completely, taking a desk waaaaay across the room, and focusing on meeting Miaka at the Union at noon.

The lecture went fine, and I had succeeded once again in completely blocking all thoughts of Chuin from my mind…_until_—there's always an _until_—Professor Trebarske started talking about motifs.

"A recurring motif in Arthurian romances," she began, "is unrequited love."

My head snapped up. _Meeehhhh??? No no no, don't start!! PLEASE! Not with him and…me…and…AHHHHH!!!!_

"Often, a man will fall deeply in love with a woman, and wish to consummate the relationship; however, the woman, normally, wants no part of it. She is either already married, or just plain doesn't _like _the guy. We see this in…"

__

Aaaaaack, I thought in dismay, my gaze darting quickly over at Chuin, who was sitting a bit more rigidly than normal. _Toss away the woman thing, and…aaaaaack. No tension there. Think he'll follow the Arthurian example, and run away on a quest or something because I don't like him?…One can only hope._

My fear that Chuin would accost me after class and demand that I let him joust in my honor was very real. Therefore, I grabbed my things as soon as the ending bell rang and darted out the door like The Fastest Mouse In All Mexico. I didn't _think _he was following me, but with Chuin, one never knew.

__

You're mean you're mean you're mean!! You're acting just like Hotohori-sama used to act, and how did that make YOU feel???

No no no no no, but the difference IIISSSSSSSS…if Hotohori-sama had told me not to love him anymore…I wouldn't have kept on…I wouldn't…

But I couldn't imagine what I would have done if Hotohori had told me right out that he didn't love me. It made my chest hurt just to think about it; it had been bad enough that he ignored the whole being in love with him thing, but if he'd ever said anything…if I hadn't even been able to dream about it…

"RYUUEN RYUUEN RYUUEN!!!" 

__

THUMP!!!

Suddenly, I found myself blinking up at the sky, head in the grass, with something heavy sitting on my stomach. Something giggled, and I tilted my head downward to see Miaka beaming down at me like a hyena on anti-depressants. 

"M…" I began, but she cut me off, leaning down to wrap her arms around my neck and giving me a peck on the lips. 

"Ohhhhhh, I missed you I missed you I missed yoooouuuu!!!!!"

"Errr…I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry?"

"Mmmmmm!!!" She tightened her grip on me, resting her cheek on mine.

__

Well, at least if Chuin sees us now, he'll think I was telling the truth all those times I claimed to have a girlfriend!

"Ah…Miaka?"

"Hmm?"

"I think the frost is melding me to the ground."

"Ahh!" she exclaimed with more giggles, sitting up quickly. I followed suit. "Heehee, sorry…"

"Aaaaaand I missed you TOO TOO TOOOOO!!!!" I cried, retaliating by flipping her onto _her _back and repeating the loving wrestling move she had used on me. She squealed, and we both laughed hard. 

As we lay there, giggling on our backs on the hard, frozen ground, I began to reflect on the fact that whenever Miaka came to visit, random people wound up _staring _at us. I didn't care; it was _their _fault if they thought we were weird for being so loud. It was just amusing, like going to restaurants with Genrou. I think people like Genrou are the reason some folks go off to live in the mountains: he didn't mix well with "society," in the calm, mannered, inside-voice sense of the word. 

"So…are we going?" I asked Miaka.

"Yup! I just have to get up first."

"Hehe…me, too."

Silence.

"_Ssskkkxxxxxxxx…_"

"_Miaka_!!" I said, surprised. She _couldn't _have fallen asleep that quickly!!  
"Ahahahaha, ohh, calm down, Ryuu-chan; I was only kidding. Do ya wanna take my car, or the bus?" She hopped to her feet, offering me a hand.

~*~

We were about half way to the Holiday Emporium—in Miaka's car, upon which she had insisted, after remembering that the campus buses were erratic and made me carsick—when she turned to me without warning and squeaked, "OH MY GOD!! Awwwww, it's your very first Valentine's Dayyyyy!!!!!"

Thrown against the passenger seat door by her outburst, I blinked at her, wide-eyed, and affirmed mock-nervously, "ahahahahaha…yeah, it is!"

"Are you excited??" she wanted to know, bouncing in her seat.

"Ehehehehe…Miaka…keep your eyes on the road!"

"Eep!! Sorry!"

"But, yeah," I answered her question, "I'm excited. I've never had a boyfriend before. Or a girlfriend. Or even a pet. And he cares about what I want to do…he actually asked me! Ahhh, he's so great…I can't believe I actually found someone who…ehhhhhhhhhhh." I trailed off, realizing that I was rambling worse than a stuttering frontiersman singing along to a broken record, and felt my face go hot. "Ummmm… anyway, yeah, it'll be really fun."

"Awww, you're totally blushing!!!" she cooed. "You're so adorable, Ryuu-chan!!"

"Shuu'uuuup," I muttered, putting both hands to my cheeks.

She giggled. "Hey, you wanna stop for a hamburger, or something?"

"Nah," I shrugged. "Go ahead and stop if you want something, though. I don't mind."

"Oh. Wellllll, I guess I can wait…"

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Awwww, Miaka!!" I clasped my hands together. "The sacrifices you make!!"

She stuck out her tongue at me, and flipped on the radio.

"_…Aaaaaand thanks for joining us here at WGTB: The Flame…wishing everyone a happy Valentine's week, here's our countdown of the twenty best love songs of the eighties, nineties, and today!_"

"Love songs?" I wrinkled my nose. "Ewwwww."

"Ahh, you're such a hypocrite…OOOOHHHH, I LOVE THIS SONG!!"

And, as usual, the next few minutes had us both singing (very badly) at the top of our lungs:

"AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOOOOOOUU OOOUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUU OOO OOO OOUOUU UUUUUOOOUUU!!!!!"

And just as the song finished, we found ourselves, hoarse and on the verge of tears from laughing so hard, in the parking lot of the Holiday Emporium. 

The aforementioned store sold merchandise according to whatever holiday was closest. Around Halloween, it sold Halloween stuff. Around the Fourth of July, it sold Fourth of July stuff. Around Easter, well…fill in the blank. Naturally, therefore, it was _the _place to go for Valentine's cards and other items of interest pertaining to the day.

I had been there several times before. However, I had never been faced with the need to actually _buy _something _meaningful_.

"Ryuu-chan, look, look!" said Miaka as we cruised down one of the aisles. She removed a large, white stuffed teddy bear with a red, heart-shaped nose and held him under her chin, puppy-eyed. "Looooook, how cuuuute!! He's only five bucks! You should get _him _for Sai!"

I regarded the bear dubiously. He _was _awfully cute. But I had a very hard time picturing my boyfriend cuddling up to a stuffed toy. "Ahhh, I dunno, Miaka…"

"I wuv you, Wyuu-chaaaan!" she squeaked, moving the toy's arms around spastically.

"Oooookay…uhh…getting scared, moving on." I hurried over to the next aisle. 

__

Oooh, candy! Maybe Sai would like candy! 

Turning to Miaka to ask her opinion, I found her right behind me with her arms full of heart-shaped boxes of chocolate.

__

Wow. THAT was fast.

"Who're those for?"

"Nnnnnnno one…"

I giggled. "Miakaaaa…what if Taka buys you candy, too? You'll have too much if you buy all that for yourself!"

"There is no such thing as too much chocolate!" she declared triumphantly, coming around to deposit the boxes in the cart I was pushing. "And besides, they're on sale!"

"Do you think Sai would want chocolate?"

She grinned. "Well, if you buy some for him and he doesn't want it, I'd be more than happy to assist you in disposing of it!"

I cocked an eyebrow. "Thanks, I'll keep that in mind." 

"OOOH!!! You could get him boxers with hearts on them!!" she cried, pointing wildly at an end cap with such items on display.

"Miaka, NOOOOO!!!" I blushed. "I'm not getting him underwear!!!"

"How about socks?"

I shrugged. "He doesn't really seem to care all that much for funky socks. He'd wear them if I got some for him, but I don't know if he'd really like them, or just pretend he liked them."

"I'm sure he'd like them, if they came from you," she assured me, looping her arm around mine.

Looking desperately around at the shelves of red and pink junk, I let out a sigh. Everything in the store just seemed so…_un-Sai-like_. Artificial. And if there was one thing that Sai _wasn't_, it was artificial. I considered forgoing the Valentine's day theme altogether, and going to the book store to get him a biography of Rockefeller, or something like that. Miaka, meanwhile, had picked out a bag of candy hearts, a box of those Little Debbie heart-shaped snack cakes, and a giant pair of chocolate lips. She looked like she was having a difficult time keeping herself from going on an eating rampage in the middle of the store.

"Didja find anything yet?" she asked as she dumped _more _stuff into the cart, all the while eyeing a lollipop over at the register.

I shrugged. "I don't knowwwwww…I'm so unused to this! I have no _idea _what to get. What if he thinks whatever I get is stupid? What if he doesn't like it and pretends he does and…"

"Ryuu-chan, don't think so much about it! It's just fun! It's just a silly holiday! And I told you, I'm sure that he'll love whatever you get for him, because it'll be from _you_! Okay?"

I knew she was right, I guess. But after all Sai had done for me, I wanted to give him something really cool, even if it _was _just a silly holiday.

I was just reaching for a box of chocolates, thinking that _no one _could say no to chocolates, when I saw them. I'd seen them in commercials—well, maybe not this _exact _kind, because I think the commercial kind was only found in a certain store. But these were surely similar, and I wandered over to the shelf where two little stuffed bears were sitting, their mouths magnetically joined in a kiss.

Maybe it was stupid, and maybe it was Nuriko's girly side coming back to haunt me, but I thought those two little bears were the cutest things in the world. A grin splitting my face, I reached out and touched them, decreeing that I _would _get these bears for Sai! Surely he could appreciate their cuteness!!

__

Hmm, wait a minute…minor adjustment to be made.

With a giggle, I detached the female bear from the male bear, and brought in another male bear to take her place. But…when I tried to make them kiss…it wouldn't work.

My smile faded, and I frowned slightly, trying to force their noses together. But however hard I tried, they just kept slipping away from each other. The same pole of the magnet was in both of them. They were meant for some female bear, not each other. I guess this made me sadder than it should've. They were only toys, after all; they didn't mean anything. But still…but _still_…

A small arm slipped around my waist and squeezed. "Oh, Ryuu-chan…" Miaka said quietly, but I laughed and shrugged it off.

"Hehe…maybe this won't be the best thing to get for Sai, then, huh?"

"Now, don't say that!" she exclaimed suddenly, supplementing her arm with her _other _arm, jumping up and down and almost pulling me with her. "If you wanna get 'em, get 'em! We can fix them!!"

"Errr…huh?" I said stupidly as she grabbed a boy bear and a girl bear from the shelf and raced back to the cart. "Miaka, that's a _girl_!"

"We'll ask Shouka to fix them!" she beamed brightly. "She sews really well!! She can make the clothes different, and the noses will still stick together!!"

I let out a slow smile. "Really? You think she has time to do that?"

"I'm _sure _she wouldn't mind! She can have it done by tomorrow! Get them, get them!!"

"Well…okay, then!" I giggled. "If Sai doesn't like them, at least he has the weekend to forget about them."

Her eyebrows went up as we pushed the cart toward the register. "The weekend? Why?"

"He's going away this weekend," I shrugged. "His uncle died, and he's going out east to take care of the estate and stuff. I get to stay at his house and babysit his plants."

"Awww, that's too bad! Poor Sai! I didn't know he had an uncle!"

I nodded. "A great-uncle, apparently. They weren't very close, and they can't get a hold of anyone else in the family capable of doing all that stuff without being paid for it."

"Well, Taka and I will come visit you so you won't get too lonely, okay?"

"That'd be nice," I smiled, and looked up quickly as the bell above the door jingled. 

I dunno what made me look, but weirdly enough, my eyes immediately focused upon a retreating figure through the glass of the window, walking toward the parking lot. Short, blonde hair…I could've been wrong, but I honestly thought it was that weird girl I had bumped into on the first day of school. If anyone would've asked me why I remembered her, and not the slew of other people I'd bumped into over the course of my life, I wouldn't've been able to answer, for the life of me. But, then again, the mind is selective in awfully strange ways sometimes. Like…why can I never remember who the President of France is, while I remember the theme song from a cartoon show I used to watch when I was four years old? Maybe that's not the best example, but…still.

"You want a sucker, Ryuu-chan? I'll buy it for you!" Miaka offered, pulling me back to reality.

"No, no…let me buy 'em," I insisted, forcing the blonde stranger out of my thoughts, and snagged two heart-shaped lollipops from the heart-shaped lollipop stand.

~*~

"Sai," I said quietly as the ending credits of 'As Good as it Gets' began to roll, "thanks for dinner. It was really nice of you to cook tonight."

His arm fell from my shoulder to around my waist, pulling me closer to him and kissing the top of my head as I laid it on his collarbone. "My pleasure. I'm glad you enjoy it. And next time, perhaps you'll realize I'm joking when you ask how one tells if spaghetti is done cooking, and I say when one throws it and it sticks to the wall."

"I was just trying to be funny," I pouted, completely feigning. In truth, that evening had been one of the best of my life. I was full and warm and comfortable, and surrounded, as sappy as it sounds, by love. 

"I know." He chuckled. "Well…I have something for you. Would you like it now?"

"Sai…"

"And we went over this at Christmas. You will receive my gift, whether you like it or not, so don't even _try _to protest." He stood up, leaning me gently back against the couch, and walked around to the hall closet. As I heard his footsteps fade, pause, and then return, I eyed my own offering, which was resting happily and obliviously on the hearth; I didn't know if he'd even noticed it, hiding back there, and I worried that he'd think it was silly. 

But…at the same time, I felt a rush of excitement at the prospect of giving it to him. What if he liked it? How great would that be?

With an anticipatory grin, I looked over in Sai's direction. Imagine my surprise to find that my boyfriend had, apparently, been transformed into a giant stuffed bear. A giant, brown stuffed bear, with a red silk bow around its neck, which progressed toward the couch and eventually took a seat next to me.

I blinked stupidly at it, and after a rather tense moment, the fuzzy head lowered to reveal Sai's smiling face. Reaching out a hand, I stroked the thing's nose. "This…is for me?" I said quietly.

His smile faltered a bit, but came back as strong as ever. "You don't think it's foolish, do you? I bought him so you can have him while I'm away this weekend. Maybe it _was _silly of me…I just thought that maybe you would like something that…"

Not giving him a chance to finish, I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around both the bear and Sai, squishing the gift between the two of us. "Sai," I said, "I love it; thank you. And it's not foolish. It's from you." _So. What Miaka said was true._

I felt his hands on my back, large and warm through my shirt. "I just…I know how lonely it can get in this house, with no one else around. I know you want to stay, and you _should _get some alone time, away from the dorms and all. And it isn't as if a toy will be able to take the place of a real person, but…the bed is awfully large and cold if you're sleeping there all by yourself." 

"I'd rather have you," I whispered, "but thank you. I've, err…never had one this big before." He laughed softly, and I straightened up. "Ohhh, okay, thennnn…I guess it's my turn to give you _your _present."

He actually looked surprised as I trotted over to the hearth. "Ruhh…uh, Ryuuen, you didn't…"

"Excuse ME, my dear fellow," I teased snootily, "but have we not had this conversation… BEFORE?? You will receive my gift, whether you like it or not, so don't even _try _to protest." Sticking out my tongue out at him, I scooped up the box and headed back. "Besides…you might not even like it."

He gave me a Look as I swapped it for my new bear, hugging it around the middle and resting my chin on its head as he began to open the gift. My heart was pounding abnormally…I _so _wanted him to like it! I didn't want to mess up the gift on my very first Valentine's Day ever!

As he looked into the open box, his expression didn't change, and for a split second, I feared the worst. But then, slowly, he reached down and pulled out the two bears with magnetic noses, one dark brown and dressed in a green sweater, one smaller and lighter and wearing…a gray hooded sweatshirt, almost identical to mine.

__

Shouka was so nice to do that…man, she's really good! Ahhh, I hope he likes it…I hope he likes it…

Sai was inching the noses closer and closer together, and suddenly, they snapped against each other and stuck in a kiss. He raised his eyes to look at me, and I gave him a hesitant, sheepish grin in return.

"Umm," I said, "look, I know it's…"

All other apologies were immediately cut off as he followed the bears' lead, leaning forward and pressing his lips to mine, his hand touching the back of my head.

__

Ehehehehehehehehehehe…I guess that means he likes it.

It took him longer than normal to pull away, and when he did, he kept his face close to mine for a long while. My heart was still beating quickly, but for a very _different _reason this time…and I lowered my eyes shyly.

__

That was…a nice kiss. 

And then, suddenly, the fear wrapped its icy fist around my heart.

__

Yeah, it was nice. But…it's VALENTINE'S DAY!! People are supposed to be romantic and intense, just like that… What if he's thinking that this is the night for us to… What if he wants to… 

I felt his fingers beneath my chin, lifting my head a bit, and I made myself look into his eyes. His brow was creased.

"Are you all right?" he said in concern. "What's the matter?"

__

I can't tell him…I can't… It's…

Both of his hands were on my cheeks now, my gifts tumbling back into their box. "Ryuuen. Please."

I swallowed hard. _Tell him. Tell him; isn't it better to talk about things? You don't wanna disappoint him, but…you should tell him._

Exhaling strongly, I forced myself back into control. "S-sai…umm… Well, I was just wondering… I mean, it _is _Valentine's Day and all, and, well… Were you planning on…" _Getting frisky? Copulating? Fornicating? Ahhhh, sweet lord… _"Ahhhhh, were you… I mean, I know a lot of couples…" I trailed off miserably. For pity's sake, I couldn't even _say _it.

Luckily, he seemed to take my meaning. He frowned, slowly lowering one hand again. And then, ever so gently, he asked, "Do you want to?"

__

He asked me…he's asking ME!!! Will he be upset if I tell him the truth?

But the truth was all I could muster.

"…No," I admitted, and followed up with a rapid round of apologies. "It's not because of you, _please _don't be upset, it's not you, it's just me! I've never th…"

Shaking his head, he put a finger to my lips. "I didn't think so," he said softly, a kind smile on his face. "Ryuuen…I'm in love with _you_. Not the things that we might do together. I _know _you're not ready. But please believe me when I say that it _does not _affect the way I feel about you. I'm not so cruel that I would begrudge you for something like that."

"Sai, I…"

"Shh. We'll wait until you're ready, Ryuuen; I'll wait as long as it takes. If it takes years, decades…a _lifetime_…you're more important than that. I'll always be here; I promise. All right?"

I couldn't believe it. I might have _dreamed _that he'd say something like this, but never in a million years did I imagine it would be real.

"Really?" I said, uncertain.

He smiled again, opening his arms to me; setting my giant stuffed bear aside, I scooted up to press my chest against his, linking my hands behind his back. 

"Really."

~*~

Later that night, when we went upstairs for bed and Sai had gone to brush his teeth, I found that Some Mysterious Stranger had put a Palmer fortune heart on my pillow. Grinning, my heart lightened by our earlier, reassuring conversation, I unwrapped the candy and read the fortune on the wrapper.

"Smile, you are loved," it said.

And I did smile.

Because it was true.

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TBC…

Notes: Ahhhh, my god, was this chapter long!!! O.o;; Ehehe…I think it sets the record. And also…the record for SAP!!!!! --;; I'm trusting you guys'll tell me if this ending part is awful, because lots of it wasn't beta-read, so I'm kinda shooting blind, here. ^^;; 

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Warning: Ummm, okay…the next chapter is gonna be pretty intense, so here's your warning now. The rating might go up to a deserved R. ^^;;

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More Notes: Ahh, yes! I should tell all you Seiryuu fans that, _yes_, the Seiryuu seishi are going to play a _much _bigger role in this fic than in the last one. ^__^ I meant to say that last time, but forgot. Eheh.

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YET ANOTHER STORY AKUGI!!!

Miaka: OOOH!!! You could get him boxers with hearts on them!

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Ryuuen: Miaka, NOOOOO!!! I'm not getting him underwear!!

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Miaka: Why not? It's not like you ever see his underwear, anyway.

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Ryuuen: O.o;;;;; MIAKAAAA!!!!

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YET ANOTHER STORY AKUGI, PART TWO!!!

Saihitei: Do you want to?

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Ryuuen: Sure!!

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Mouse-chan: O.O;; HEYYYY, you guyyyyys!!! STOPPIT!!!

~*~*~*~

(**Ryuuen: **Do we haaaave to go on to the next chapter??

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Mouse-chan: Fraid so g.g

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Ryuuen: g.g )


	4. Close Your Eyes...

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Disclaimers: Nothing nothing nothing; I do not own the movie Risky Business, the song contained therein, or FY itself, or—and this is the real blow to my heart—Nuriko. **sniff**

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Warnings: Please note that the rating of the fic has changed to R. ^^;; And it's not like the last story where it was R for a long time without reeeally needing it. I'm pretty sure this chapter needs it.

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Notes: **wave wave** I did this instead of putting in more time studying for my French exam, which will commence in exactly one hour and forty-five minutes. ^_^() And Ryu-chan…_thank you _for all your excellent help on this chapter. I couldn't've done it without you. ^_^

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YET ANOTHER STORY

Chapter Four:

Close Your Eyes…

Dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum.

__

Pause, two, three, four

Dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum…

I slid across the room in my boxers, my rainbow socks, and a T-shirt, a broom held up to my mouth, and began to lip synch:

"_Just take those old records off the shelf!  
I'll sit and listen to 'em by myself  
Today's music ain't got the same soul!  
I like that old time rock and roll!_

Don't try and take me to a disco!  
You'll never even get me out on the…"

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" I screamed, as I turned toward the window to see a familiar face with its lips pressed against the glass, jumping backward and stumbling into the arm of the couch. Genrou pulled his face away and gave me an evil grin, motioning with his hand toward the door. The broom clattered to the ground as I put my hands angrily on my lips. "What are you _doing _here??!!" I demanded, mortified. "It's ten in the morning!!! It's _Saturday_!! You're supposed to be hung over!!!"

He rolled his eyes, cupping a hand to his ear to show he couldn't hear me, and pointed more vehemently at the door, disappearing around the side of the house. 

With a "hmph," I made my way over to let him in, switching off the stereo on the way. I flung open the door to find my friend leaning his arm nonchalantly on the door frame.

"Ya know, for a guy who's so fuckin obsessed with havin fuckin rainbows and shit on his socks, the fuckin shorts're kinda boring," he informed me.

I flushed. "What're you doing here?"

He sauntered inside. "What? Can't a guy come to fuckin keep his pal company? I gotta fuckin look in on ya, kiddo, bein home alone, and all."

"Sai left less than _twelve hours ago_!"

"There, ya see? Not a fuckin _day _has gone by, and yer _already _fuckin dancin around in yer fuckin undies. Guys got any frozen waffles?"

I followed him into the kitchen, arms crossed. "I didn't even know you _got up _this early."

"Who's talkin about fuckin gettin up? Gotta fuckin _go to bed _first before ya fuckin _get up_. Ya want blueberry, or plain?" Glancing around the door of the freezer, his eyes trailed down to my boxers, and he turned back. "Plain."

"You stayed out all _night_?"

Heading to the toaster, he gave me an amused look. "Fuckin calm _dowwwn_, Dad! Not like it's the first time it's happened! And it's fuckin Friday _night_!" Once breakfast was inserted into the appropriate appliance, he leaned against the counter and folded his own arms. "So how long's the fuckin life mate gone?"

"He said it shouldn't take too long. He'll be back tomorrow, or maybe even tonight." I boosted myself onto the counter across the room, folding my hands in my lap. "You need some caffeine, or something?"

"Nahh, I'm okay. Any of that shit, and I'll be bouncin off the walls."

"Yes," I agreed. "We'd want to avoid that. Well, wanna hang out for a while, then?"

"Sure I wouldn't be cuttin into yer fuckin karaoke fun?"

I fixed him with a tired look.

"Ch," he said. "Sure, got nothin else to do. But, ahhh…ya gonna fuckin put some clothes on, or what?"

~*~

We spent the afternoon watching 'America's Funniest Animals' on Animal Planet, which Genrou apparently found hysterically funny. I thought the jokes the host made were really kinda lame, but Gen-chan made me laugh in spite of myself with his own reaction. When I said as much, he gave me a "Duhhh, ya think?" look and said, "Well, _shit_, man! The crappy jokes are what makes it so goddamn funny!"

"So, basically," I summed up, "you just watch this show to laugh at the host?"

"Well, that's a fuckin big part of it, but _look_, there're fuckin _birds attackin people!!_" He roared with laughter as an unsuspecting old man was swooped down upon by about six Canadian geese.

__

What a nut, I thought, but I laughed anyway.

Around five o'clock, after eating a full box of blueberry waffles and half a leftover pizza, Gen-chan decided that he ought to go back to his room and take a nap or something before hitting the bars again. I offered to let him stay at Sai's and sleep, but he shook his head and waved his hand and said he had to change his clothes, anyway.

"What?" I said, feigning surprise. "You actually change your clothes?"

He glared at me, eyes narrowed slightly. "M'not a fuckin slob, ya know."

"You're okay to drive home?"

"Fuck, Ryuuen; m'not drunk! M'not so tired that I'll fuckin wreck, or anything." He grabbed his coat and opened the door to go, waving. "I'll see ya tomorrow, I think Miaka wants ta do somethin before she drives back to fuckin Perry."

"Okay! Have fun, Gen-chan…try not to pass out, okay?"

He grunted, got into his car, and revved the engine before backing out of the driveway.

For the rest of the evening, I decided to actually get some _work _done. I went upstairs with a bowl of pretzels and lay on the bed with my books, taking notes about blah blah blah for the evil thesis, which wasn't due until the end of the semester, but which was giving me a fair amount of stress anyway. 

Around eight o'clock, I decided that Sai had been one hundred percent correct about the house being lonely when no one else was there. I hadn't been alone since…well…since my parents went out of town over the summer, and Kourin and Rokou were both gone, as well. Sure, I had a single room, but there was always someone just down the hall, right next to me, all over the place. Lost in my moment of loneliness, I crawled over to the bear Sai had given me and put my arms around it, putting my head on its stomach.

__

Wallow, wallow, wallow…Come on, he'll be back soon. And you could always call someone! I bet Doukun isn't doing anything extracurricular tonight.

Well, whatever I did, I decided, I had to hear someone talking besides me. So I grabbed the pretzels and the bear and trundled downstairs to watch TV. 'Whose Line Is It, Anyway?' was on, and that show always made me laugh, so I smiled and settled into the couch.

Not fifteen minutes later, the doorbell rang.

It startled me for a second, but then I grinned and raced over to get it, excited at the prospect of friends coming to see me. Maybe it was Miaka; she'd said on Wednesday that she and Taka would try to stop by! 

However, the face that greeted me when I opened the door was even better. 

"Sai!!" I cried happily, and jumped into his arms. 

He looked tired, and put his arms around me rather tentatively, but laughed as I hugged him, stepping into the house with me in tow. "Miss me?"

"You're early!! Oh, I'm so glad you're back! You were right; this place is too big to be in alone, how do you deal with it every day?? You need a cat or something. How did it go? How come you had to ring the doorbe…"

He cut me off with a kiss, always an effective way to get me to shut up. When he pulled away, he smiled. "I forgot my key. Stupid of me. I'm glad I asked you to stay here, otherwise I'd be stuck."

"I'm really glad you're back," I repeated dumbly. "Uhhhh…do you want anything to eat? I didn't really have dinner, I could make baked potatoes, or something…"

"No," he shook his head. "I'm not very hungry…but thank you. Would you be disappointed if I just went up to bed? I think jet lag is getting to me."

Slipping my hands down to his elbows, I frowned slightly. "Are you all right, Sai?"

He closed his eyes. "I'm fine. Just tired, as I said."

I smoothed down the front of his trench coat and looked up at him. "Are you sure? You seem…sad. Did something happen?"

"Ryuuen," he said, "I promise you, I'm fine."

But…I knew there was _something _on his mind. I wasn't gonna press, though; I figured he'd tell me sooner or later. Slipping my hand into his, I gave him one of my best reassuring smiles. "Okay, let's go to bed then. I'll come, too…I really missed you."

__

Okay, just to make sure THAT'S drilled into his head. Spazz.

Still smiling, he nodded and motioned for me to lead the way. It was still relatively early, but then, I'd also gotten up early, and I would probably fall asleep pretty quickly now that Sai was back. 

When I got back from washing up, he was wearing a pair of blue silk pajamas, which I thought was funny, since I was really the pajama person in the relationship, and he usually just stuck to boxers and an undershirt. Maybe he was trying to be more like me, or something. Awwww!

As he climbed into bed beside me, fumbling with the lamp and bringing it down to the lowest level, I looked at him quizzically. "You gonna wash your face and stuff?" _Man, if he's too tired to do THAT, he must REALLY be beat!_

He looked at me and blinked, his face blank. "Ahhh…do you want me to?"

I shook my head slowly, wondering if he was sick or something. "Not if you're too tired." _Are you suuuuure you're okay? _I wanted to ask, but I didn't want to be annoying. It seemed like he was hiding something, though.

__

What if something happened when he was gone? What if it has to do with him being with me?

When he didn't respond, I decided to try to comfort him without actually saying anything. Scooting over closer, I snuggled my cheek against him, snaking my arms around his torso. He held me lightly, and I started to really worry; why was he being so awkward? He'd never been this way before, not ever!

Truly distressed, I pulled my head back to look at him. "Sai…" I began, but very quickly, he put a stop to any dialogue between us with another kiss.

I blinked. _My, my…he's really kissy tonight, isn't he? Well! I guess…he missed me, then. He went away and he missed me!! Maybe he IS just tired. Of course he still wants to be with me, if he's kissing me._

I felt so loved, so needed, surrounded by his warmth… But then… something… happened. All of a sudden, his kissing got a lot rougher than I was used to; all of a sudden, there was something gross in my mouth, and my eyes flew wide open. I made a sound of discomfort to try to make him stop, putting my hands lightly on his shoulders…but…all that happened was…he shifted so that he was lying on top of me, and didn't make any move to stop.

__

Wait…Wait, wait…This isn't…I don't…

My mind was racing, going around and around in endless circles, trying to process what was happening. I _knew _what was happening…I _knew _what was happening. But I didn't understand… After all we'd talked about…

The next whimper that escaped without warning was louder than the last, and he pulled his mouth from mine.

"What's the matter?" he panted, his arms on either side of me. His hair was mussed, his lips swollen; his brow had twisted in confusion.

__

He really doesn't know. He really doesn't know!

I wanted to cry; I wanted to scream, to ask him why he was doing this, especially after what he'd said two nights ago. _You said you'd wait_, I wanted to say, _you said you wouldn't make me! I would've dealt if you'd said you wanted it, but why did you have to lie?! WHY?_

What I actually said, confused and helpless and scared, was: "Nothing."

__

Maybe he'll stop. Maybe he'll read my mind like he does sometimes, and he'll stop.

He looked at me closely; I couldn't meet his eyes. I actually dared to hope that it was over, that he'd remember what he said, and what I said, and just hug me and say it was all right, that he didn't mean to scare me, that it was just nerves, or something. But then he leaned forward again, pressed his nose to my neck, and started kissing me there, and started moving against me again.

"I love you," he whispered in my ear. "I love you so much…come on, don't you love me, too?"

My breathing got quicker, close to panic, as he moved above me; I was frozen.

__

You knew it was too good to be true when he said he didn't mind. You knew he wouldn't feel the same, didn't you? He's a normal guy, and normal guys need…well… more than you were giving. You're his boyfriend; that's what you're there for. And he's been…He's been so great to you, and you haven't given anything in return.

"I know you love me," he moaned, wrapping his hands around my wrists. "Show me. Show me you love me…"

__

You owe it to him.

You owe it to him.

Something hard pressed into my leg, and I clamped my mouth shut to hold back a sob. I didn't like this. I was terrified. But I loved him…I loved him, and I had to prove it.

__

Just close your eyes…Close your eyes, it will be over soon…

He still loves you. Just close your eyes.

And I did. My hands curled into fists, my nails pressing into my palms so hard that I think they started bleeding. I closed my eyes, blocking out the sight of that face…that beloved person, who had always listened to me, who had always asked me how I felt, what I thought…And now…

__

Maybe this is just another nightmare. Maybe I'm really just asleep in the den. Please, please, Suzaku, let it be a dream…let it be a dream…

And then came the voice inside my head; a soft, gentle voice, which curled around me and comforted me, and said…

__

OPEN YOUR EYES.

I trembled.

__

N…No, I don't…I don't want to…I can't!

Quiet, invisible hands stroked my face as a tear fell from the corner of my eye, trailing down into my hair.

__

OPEN YOUR EYES. OPEN THEM.

I tried to fight the voice, but something made me obey against my will. Gasping, I forced myself to look at him, look right into his eyes. And I saw…

__

That's…

That's not him.

I knew Saihitei's eyes. I knew them better than I knew my own hands. And the ones above me, staring down upon me in twisted passion, were not his.

Still frozen, even with this new knowledge, I could only stare at him in panic. 

__

Have to move…Have to get him away…

My arms quivered uselessly; I willed them to move. With every hitch of my chest, I willed them to move, to push this stranger away, to make him stop.

__

Just make him stop…

They twitched, and before I knew it, I was screaming, batting at his evil face with all my might. He let out a grunt of surprise as he flew off of the bed

__

off of me off of me

and landed with a thud on the floor on the other side of the room.

Shaking harder than I ever had before, I lay staring at the ceiling, chest heaving, still feeling him on me…his mouth on mine, his hands…

__

Get up. You have to get up.

The strong voice had gone now; what spoke to me now was my own. It was as if I was in a trance. I sat up slowly, turning my trembling legs so that they hung off the side of the bed, and slowly slid down. Making my way over to the crumpled form on the ground, I had a brief moment of terror where I honestly believed that he was going to spring up again, like a movie, and try to hurt me again. But he just lay there, still, as if he was dead. 

Slow motion.

I walked over tentatively, stumbling more than once because the shaking in my knees would not stop. Half way there, I stepped on something round and smooth which shattered beneath my foot, cutting into my heel, and I gave a brief whimper at the pain, falling to my hands and knees…

…And strangely enough, before my eyes, I saw him fade. I saw Sai's features melt away from his face, melt away like wax to reveal who was really underneath.

Long, silvery hair…a long, painted face, slender nose, slim build…

I knew the face from my dreams. Red and blue and white and black…I remembered. And always in my dreams, I recognized him for who he really was. 

Chuin.

Any question of how and why fell flat in my mind, and I crawled painstakingly over to him, grabbing him by the front of his shirt.

__

Closet. Gotta lock him up; can't let him out, can't let him out again.

I dragged him over to the closet, my normal strength weakened by my uncooperative limbs and the tears that blurred my vision. Somehow, I managed to get him inside, and stretched up to press the outside lock on the door. When it was done

__

when I was safe

I laid my forehead against the smooth wood, shut my eyes and stifled another sob. But soon, I couldn't help it, and I was gasping harshly as I tried to keep myself quiet.

__

Stop it…stop it, he'll hear you!

The thought frightened me badly—_He'll hear you, and he'll come back! He'll come back if you cry!_—and I scrambled away to the corner, drawing my knees up to my chest, covering my mouth with my own hands. Squeezing my eyes shut, I welcomed the darkness…

But even with my eyes shut, I could still see him.

****

~*~

TBC…

g.g


	5. Real

****

YET ANOTHER STORY

Chapter Five:

Real

The phone rang, muted in the distance.

Once…

__

Pick it up pick it up it's someone who can help

Twice…

__

I can't I can't I have to stay here he'll get me if I move

Three times…

__

Please…it could be Sai and he can help me 

Four times…

__

But how will I know it's really him?

The answering machine on the table by the stairs clicked on as I trembled.

__

"Hello, you've reached 555-6764." 

Sai…

" I can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name, number, and a brief message, I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Those who are special enough to have been given my cell phone number, please try contacting me using it, as I am a sad victim of the technologically addicted society in which we live."

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.

"Hi, Ryuuen? It's Taka; sorry if you're still sleeping. I'm just calling to tell you that Miaka wants to go out for brunch or lunch or both, hehe, before she drives back, so we're all going to Perkins around ten-thirty, okay? If Sai's not back yet, give me a call, and I can come pick you up. Well, I'll see you later! Bye!"

BEEEEEEP.

And then…his voice.

"R…Ryuuen?"

It was small and choked, barely above a whisper. And it wasn't Sai's voice anymore. It had changed back, just like his face. I couldn't see anything, because my eyes were still closed…but I knew where it was coming from.

__

stay there don't talk to me stay there and I won't see you I won't hear you and then it'll be okay

"Ryuuen…are you all right?" The last word caught on a sob, and it took a long while before the voice began again. "I…I'm sorry…"

Something in my heart twisted even more than it already was.

__

He's crying…is he crying?

I don't care, I don't care…he can cry, he can cry until he dies.

"I didn't mean to scare you…I don't know what I was thinking, Ryuuen, are you okay, will you let me out? Please, will you let me out?"

I shrank further into my corner, shaking my head violently from side to side even though I knew he couldn't see me.

__

No…no, you stay in there…you stay in there, you don't come near me again. Stay in there. Stay in there. Stay in there.

He stopped talking after a few more tries, but I could hear him crying softly. And I told myself I shouldn't care, because he'd made me cry, too. But for some reason, hearing him cry just made mecry _again_…I still had my hand over my mouth, so I was quiet…maybe if I was quiet he'd think I wasn't there anymore.

I sat there for years, lifetimes, in the dark…and he stopped crying eventually, and was as quiet as I was. 

__

Maybe he died.

Maybe…maybe **I **died.

My heart still thudded relentlessly, nearly shaking my body with the force of its beating. And I wondered if I would stay there forever…

"Ryuuen??!!"

Footsteps. Footsteps on the stairs, running, frantic. My heart started going even faster at the sound—_Someone's here, someone's here…But who? And is it really them? What if I think it's them but it's not them?_—and it started to hurt, like I was having a heart attack or something.

The footsteps came to a halt not far from me, but there were more behind them, fainter…I thought maybe if I didn't breathe, then he wouldn't be able to see me. But then, suddenly, he was right in front of me, I could feel it; his hands gripped my shoulders, and I knew who it was…I knew who it was, but how could I be sure? It sounded like him…it felt like him…but _he _had sounded the same, and he'd…and he'd…

"Ryuuen!!"

I tried to get away, but I'd started shaking again, and my body wouldn't listen to me; I tried to get away, but I was already too close against the wall, and I couldn't go any farther.

A hand on my face, a hand on my head, then back to my face…he didn't know what do to.

"Ryuuen." His voice was quieter this time, but it trembled. "Ryuuen, please… What happened? What _happened_?! Please…" He tugged gently on the hands that covered my mouth, but they were locked there, and wouldn't budge.

__

Go away…go away…I don't know if you're you, Suzaku, I don't know if you're you!

And then…

"Look at me," he pleaded, but firmly. "Ryuuen, it's just me; it's Saihitei. Look at me; look into my eyes."

__

Look look look that's how you can know for sure that's the only way you can know

but what if I look and it's not him what if it's still not him and he tries again I can't go through that again I can't and I'm scared I'm scared I want it to be him but what if it's not what if what if

But I _had _to look…I had to know. So—slowly—I pried my eyes open, squinting at first…but then I widened my eyes and stared into his, and…

…And it was him. It was really him.

My hands dropped from my mouth and I burst into tears—_it's okay, it's okay to cry now because he's here and he's real_—flinging myself at him and hugging him as hard as I could. Luckily, that wasn't as hard as it might seem, given my power; I was still too shaky to really squeeze that tightly. 

"I knew it wasn't you!!" I sobbed loudly. "I knew it wasn't you…I knew you'd never make me, I knew it wasn't you!"

And then he hugged me back…and everything was almost okay. He pulled me up to his lap like a kid, running his hand gently up and down my shivering back. "It's all right," he said, "it's all right; it's me, I'm here, I've got you now…I've got you…" And I wondered how I could ever have been stupid enough to mistake Chuin's inauthentic imitation for this beautiful voice. 

__

He doesn't know. He doesn't know what happened.

How can I tell him? He'll hate me; he'll hate me if he knows. I thought it was him, oh God, I really thought it was him!! How could I have been so STUPID??

"M…Myojuan," I heard another voice say, above my tears and Sai's hushing. 

__

Taka. Taka…and Myojuan are here…they're all here, and they won't let him come back. I'm safe now…I'm safe now…

"I hear something…closet…"

His voice faded in and out, but I had heard enough, terror growing on me once again, drowning my briefly found safety in a freezing instant. I heard Taka move over to the closet, my eyes snapped open and his hand was on the knob and

__

No you can't let him out you can't let him out you don't understand he'll

"_NOOO!!!_" I screamed frantically, the force of the cry burning into my throat, trying to struggle free of Sai and stop him from opening the door before it was too late. "_No! He has to stay there…you can't let him out_!!!"

I don't know where Sai found the strength to hold me back. Maybe it was my own weakness; I was so tired, I hadn't slept all night. Maybe it was his own inner power that did it. But whatever its root, he kept his arms around me firmly, and I felt an even larger hand on my back, coming to his aid, and was reminded that Myojuan was there, as well. They turned my face away from Taka, and my strength gave out within seconds, overpowered by the energy it was taking to cry.

"He can't come out," I babbled to Sai's confused, worried face. "He can't come out, he looked like you but I knew he wasn't you, I knew he wasn't you, I know you'd never do that, I know you wouldn't lie…"

He kept nodding, keeping his eyes locked on mine, one arm around my shoulders, one hand rapidly smoothing my hair away from my face.

"All right," he kept saying, "all right…it's all right."

I was vaguely aware of Taka saying something, then of Myojuan rumbling out a response…all I caught was the word "illusion."

And Sai looked at me in anguish, and, as they say in stories, realization dawned on his face.

"Oh, my god," he whispered, and I thought he had begun to tremble. "Oh, my god…oh, my god…" 

I found myself pulled to his chest once more, barely able to keep my arms around him. He curled his fist in my hair and hugged me so tightly that, for a time, it was hard to remember we were two separate people; the bridge of my nose pressed into his neck and I cried and cried…

I think he was crying, too.

__

I'm so sorry, Sai… I'm so sorry…

He didn't hate me. He knew what I had done, and he was still there.

__

Don't let go of me…please don't let go…

"Shhh…I've got you," he whispered, close to my ear. "I won't let you go."

~*~

I held him to that.

Even when, after an eternity, the initial horror had had a chance to wear off and I had stopped panicking, practically normal once more, I refused to break contact with him. This was really him, it was really Sai…and I wouldn't let him leave and come back and maybe not be himself anymore. Luckily for me, he seemed just as insistent on keeping his own arms around _me_. 

We kept to the floor; Sai had wanted to move me to the bed, but I couldn't…I couldn't go on the bed again, not after what had almost happened. So we just sat there quietly, him with his back against the wall and his legs stretched straight out in front of him, me curled up sideways on top of him with my head on his shoulder and my arms around his neck. Taka and Myojuan had taken Chuin into the other room; I hadn't even seen them go.

Neither Sai nor I said anything for a long time. But then, Myojuan came back in, walked softly over to us and knelt down. 

He and Sai shared a look, as if Myojuan was asking him permission to do something; then, he placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Ryuuen," he said quietly. "Can you tell us what happened?"

My heart began to beat slightly faster at the simple thought of what he'd said, but Sai seemed to sense it and stroked my side with his fingers. Even so, I closed my eyes and swallowed, not even looking at my friend.

Sai's arms tightened around me when I didn't answer, and one of his hands trailed up to my face and brushed at the top of my cheek.

"Open your eyes," he said calmly, his voice reassuring and familiar.

And I opened them. Not because he'd told me to, but because of what he'd said.

__

That's what the other voice…

"I know it's hard," Sai continued. "But try…to tell us what happened, all right?"

I licked my dry lips and swallowed again. My instinct was to do what I was told, like a machine, and I knew I had to tell them…and I actually got up to the part where "Sai" and I had gotten into bed before I found myself unable to continue. There was a long pause as I tried to fight back tears, and Sai told me again that it was all right, and I believed him. When Sai says things like that, you believe him.

Myojuan tried again, still gentle. "Ryuuen. I need to know if he hurt you."

__

If he hurt me? I wish he had… I wish that's all that had happened. That wouldn't be as bad as this. All this, spinning around in my head…

"You don't have to say everything. I'll be more specific, all right? Now, I have to ask you some awful questions, and you're not going to like them. But you only have to answer yes or no; you don't have to say anything more unless you want to." He looked at me seriously. "All right?" 

__

Questions? What kind of questions?

"Okay," I whispered.

His mouth tightened in a smile the size of a match, and he took one of my hands between both of his. Closing his eyes briefly, he opened them once more to study my face.

"When Chuin was assaulting you…did he enter you?"

__

Assaulted…that's what happened. I was assaulted. I was assaulted.

And it could've been worse…it could've been so much worse…

I shook my head slowly, and Sai let out the breath he'd been holding.

"All right." Myojuan sounded relieved, too, and patted my hand. "Almost over. One more question." He took a deep breath as I gave him a small nod. "Did he make you do anything to him with your mouth? Again, please forgive me for asking these things. I just need to know if there is _any _possibility at all that he could have infected you with something."

While I shuddered at the thought, I shook my head again, but all the while, I was thinking, _did he MAKE me? But I would have done it myself if he would have asked; I would have done it, because I thought he was someone else. _

Squeezing my hand and smiling, Myojuan shared a few words with Sai, then left for about two minutes before returning. "Everything's all right," he said soothingly, reaching for my foot and slowly pulling it toward him. "All I'm doing now is washing the cut on your foot. You have nothing to worry about from what happened, Ryuuen; all right? You're going to be fine."

But he sounded a little unsure toward the end, because we both knew that the spinning in my head wouldn't just go away like a cut or a bruise.

When he'd finished with my foot and bound it up with gauze—I hadn't even thought it was that bad—Taka's voice came once again from the door.

"Mitsukake…if you don't mind, I'd like to tell Hotohori-sama what he said. The others just got here."

__

The others? The others are here? 

As Myojuan left the room and Taka stepped inside, I was struck with the conflicting desires to be happy that my friends would all be near me, and ashamed because they would know what I had done. Had Taka called them? Myojuan? How much did they tell them, how much did they know? What would they think? Taka had barely opened his mouth to speak, when a sudden roar and a crash sounded from downstairs.

"_WHERE THE FUCK IS HE???!!! WHERE THE FUCKIN HELL IS HE??? I'll KILL the fuckin bastard!!!!_" 

There were more shouts and scrambling, and I clung on to Sai unconsciously as the footsteps pounded up the stairs, even though I knew very well who it was. Taka had turned toward the hall, and I heard Myojuan shouting firmly:

"Genrou! _Keep quiet_!! You're not going to 'kill' anyone!"

"_The hell I'm not_!!! For fuck's sake, _get the hell offa me_!!"

"TASUKI!!! You will control yourself, or you're _out_!!! I can't allow you to carry on like this after what's happened!!!" Myojuan thundered. "Do you understand what your ranting is doing to them??!! To _Ryuuen_??! You either _shut up_ or you _leave_!!!"

Silence, except for Genrou's frustrated breathing, and the phantom sound of the usually quiet medical student's voice echoing off the walls.

"Where is he?" Gen-chan said finally, his voice completely different now: tired and hoarse. And a moment later, he was standing by Taka in the doorway, looking at us with such pain in his eyes that it burned.

He walked over almost delicately, sinking to a squat at Sai's side. Reaching out a hand, he tucked some hair behind my ears, giving me a small and completely unconvincing smile. 

"Heyyyy," he said softly, with more tenderness than anyone else would have thought him capable of, "how ya doin, pal?"

No one could possibly pretend to be Genrou with any amount of realism, I realized, my heart flooding with relief. He was too complex. And no one on the outside would ever know what he was really like, underneath all that bravado. No. I was safe with him. I was always safe with him.

Genrou's hand moved to my head, where it rested for a long while, quivering. And he stared at me with that plastic smile…and then he shut his eyes. And I didn't know he'd been crying until the tears leaked out from beneath his eyelashes, running down his cheeks and hanging there like gems.

"Fuck, Ryuuen…" he said in a tiny, shaking voice. "Fuck…"

I couldn't stand to see him crying. Not him, of all people!! _I _was the crybaby! Miaka and I were the ones who cried at stupid sappy movies and wars and stuff like that! I'd seen Miaka cry, I'd seen Chichiri cry, I'd seen Tamahome and Doukun and even Mitsukake and…and never Hotohori, but Sai. Never Tasuki, though. Never Genrou; not like this. I was actually startled into letting go of Sai, leaning forward to embrace Gen-chan, instead; and he sobbed aloud, only once, wrapped his fisted arms around me, and buried his face in my hair.

"I'll fuckin kill him," he said brokenly. "I swear, I'll fuckin kill him!"

He trailed off after that, hugging me fiercely, and despite all that had happened, I felt a bitter chuckle rising in my chest at the fact that my Gen-chan sounded like Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting. But I swallowed it back down with a hiccup, ashamed at thinking this was at all funny, and after a few long moments, I felt Sai get up from behind me.

__

No, don't go! Don't go don't go! How will I know it's you when you come back?? How will I know???

The distress must have been evident in my eyes as I twisted to look at him, because before standing up, he took my hand and squeezed it. "I'm not leaving the room," he assured me. "I'm just going to talk with Taka, all right? You stay here with Genrou. I'll be right here." 

__

Genrou…I can stay with Genrou. I'm safe with him.

He waited for my tentative nod before rising and going over to Taka, about six feet away. I don't know if they wanted me to listen, but I did anyway; I wanted to know if they were talking about me. I hoped they weren't. And, to my surprise, I was in luck.

"Heika-sama," said Taka in a half-whisper, "Tomo…Chuin…he's really upset…"

Sai set his jaw firmly and folded his arms, a stone cold look on his face; he looked like he was about to say something, but Taka raised his hands in front of his chest. "Hold on, hold on, just hear me out. I know. I don't pity him one bit right now. But listen; he told us something that explains what he did."

__

Explains it? 

The thought was dull, distant. The voice was passive.

__

What explanation is there? What reason would he have to do this to me?

"Hey," said Gen-chan under his breath, and rubbed my shoulder. I realized I had gone tense, but his strangely gentle touch made me relax. I leaned into him and watched my Sai and Taka in silence; Sai still had his mouth clenched shut, but he waited patiently as Taka began to relate whatever it was that Chuin had said.

__

I hope he was possessed, or something…I hope he was being manipulated by something magical and evil, because…

It would be so much easier…

It would be so much easier.

****

TBC…

Notes: Ohhhhh, my goodness… ^^;;;; GAHHHH!!!!! WHYYY, evil muse of mine??? ^^;; Okay, ummm…I just wanna say thank you guys for the great feedback, because all my pals can attest to the fact that I was _really _scared about how the last chapter would be received. ^^;; In case you haven't noticed, I nevernevernever write stuff like that, and it was a MAJOR challenge for me. ^^;; But it was a good experience as a writer, I think, because…stuff like that happens, and if I can't write about evil gross traumatic stuff, I think some of the topics I'd choose to write about would ring kinda false and naïve. Ahhhh…okay, author rant is over. Sorry. ^^;;

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Nuriko: Sooo…what you're saying is, sexually assaulting your favorite anime character is _good practice_???!!?!??!!!

^^;; Ehehehe…ahem. Anyway. I _really _have to thank Ryuen for all her wonderful help on the last chapter (and this one, too ^__^ ). **STORY ALERT!!** Okay. So my first version of The Bad Chapter was really really vague where the actual _incident _was concerned, and I partially traumatized myself while writing it. :P So I showed it to Ryuen, who happened by one merry afternoon, and what followed was an exchange somewhat like this:

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Ryuen: Okay. I really like it, it's very good. But you need to go into more detail during the actual assault; as a reader, I want to _feel _what Ryuuen's feeling, I want to experience his confusion and fear…

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Mouse-chan: **bursting into tears** AHHH, YOU'RE SO MEAN!!! DON'T MAKE ME WRITE THIS ANYMORE!!! 

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Ryuen: ^^;;;;; I don't want to sound like I'm telling you what to do!!

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Mouse-chan: No, no…I really appreciate all your comments, and I do think you're right.

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Ryuen: ^_^.

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Mouse-chan: BUT WHYYYYYYY????? PLEEEEEEEEEEASE, CAN'T I JUST POST IT AND MOVE ONNNN????!?!?!

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Ryuen: …

Well, anyway, the short story is, Ryu-chan, I'm _really really _happy you made me embellish on The Skeleton Version. ^^;; Not that you made me. Oh, you know what I mean. You rock. ^__^ And you don't have Chinese Boy Buns.

(**Hotohori: **I am the hug machine! Goo goo g'joob! )

So, yeah, anyway….that's my spiel. I felt the need to do a spiel, now that the immediate danger is over.

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Note to Kaze-chan: CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! WOOHOOOOOO!!!! **HIGH FIVE** You're awesome!!! Can I say "I told you so??" ^__~

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ANOTHER STORY AKUGI!!!!

(This one comes from Shiro Yuki's review, and I thought it was really funny.)

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Shiro Yuki: It seems appropriate that you posted this on April Fool's Day!!

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Chuin: Ha ha!! I'm not Sai!! APRIL FOOLS!!

^__^

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	6. Seishi Bonds

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Disclaimer: Blahdeblah.

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Warnings: Shounen ai, sap, rocking chairs, evil beds…lots of angst in this chapter. ^^;;

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Notes: I reeeeally wanna thank you reviewer people for being so nice. ^_____^ You all make me so cheery!! No, not Chiri…_cheery_. :P I'm reeeeally incredibly glad you guys liked the last two chapters. Aaaand…I hope you like this one, too. ^^;;;

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YET ANOTHER STORY

Chapter Six:

Seishi Bonds

"Now…" Taka began slowly, "Chuin knows who he was. He's apparently been awakened to _some _of his memories, but nowhere near all of them. The main thing he received, as far as Myojuan and I could tell, was his powers…and he claims it was Miboshi who gave them to him."

__

Memories? Chuin has memories? Is he like us??

And Miboshi…

I recognized the name, although I didn't know why. All I knew was that it made me shiver even more.

Sai was silent, and Taka elaborated. "He says Miboshi is searching for the rest of the Seiryuu Seishi, and eventually, Seiryuu no Miko. Miboshi gave him his shin…and he regained his powers of illusion. He lost those powers when Ryuuen stepped on the shell and broke it. And he said…Miboshi sent him to…to destroy the Suzaku…"

"Why Ryuuen?" Sai whispered harshly. "Where's the sense in that? What possible logic is there behind that? Even considering how much it would hurt us…"

"He wasn't sent to attack Ryuuen," Taka interrupted weakly, sounding suddenly tired. "He was sent…he was sent after Miaka, to stop her from summoning Suzaku again."

There was a long, uncomfortable pause, and my entire body went numb.

__

After…after Miaka?? If he'd have gone after her…If he'd been Taka, instead of Sai, even if she knew it was him, she never could've pushed him off…she never could've…

I was shaking my head slowly, trapped in this new horror. Picturing Miaka in my position was more frightening to me than remembering my own experience, and suddenly…suddenly I was _glad _it had been me.

__

Better me than her. Better me than her.

Don't think about it. Don't think about it.

"No," I whispered, breaking the silence that had fallen, and Taka and Sai both turned their heads to look at me. Sai immediately looked worried again, and took a step toward me and Genrou, but I spoke again before he could. "Wh…where is she? Where's M…Miaka?"

"Shhhh," said Gen-chan, holding me steady. "She's downstairs. She's right downstairs. She came with me, 'kay? She's okay."

I had to see her, though; I had to see her with my own eyes. Pulling away from my best friend, I pushed myself unsteadily to my feet, and took a few shaky steps toward the door. But Sai slid in front of me and intercepted me, taking my shoulders in his hands.

"Stop," he said softly. "I think you need to stay put for a while, all right? You're tired, you've been through too much…"

"Please," I begged earnestly, trying to keep my voice from wavering despite the fact that I was fighting tears once again. "Please, Sai…please let me see her, please…I have to see her."

He studied my face for a long moment before giving me a slow nod. "All right; all right. We'll all go downstairs, all right? Myojuan can stay up here…" He glanced over at Taka, who nodded his approval. And before I could even thank him, he had leaned down and swept me up in his arms, moving smoothly out the door and down the stairs. I tried to protest, to tell him I could walk…but remembered I had practically proved myself wrong just moments ago, and settled for gripping onto him tightly.

"I knew the fuckin mountains would make you well," Gen-chan teased from behind us in a shaky falsetto, trying to make everything normal again. I managed a weak smile over Sai's shoulder, to show him I appreciated his effort, because…

__

Because I'm not gonna let this get to me. 

Because nothing happened. Nothing…HAPPENED. He scared me, that's all. And it was me or Miaka…me or her. 

So I guess it's kinda good that Chuin had a crush on me…right? Because if he didn't…

We turned into the den, and saw Miaka and Doukun sitting together on the couch and talking. Doukun had his back to me. Miaka looked worried…but she was safe. And when she noticed us approaching, her eyes went wide, and she stood up quickly, one hand pressed to her heart.

Sai let me slip gently to the ground, keeping one arm around my waist to support me. My knees felt just about as sturdy as marshmallows, but as Miaka rushed toward me, I slid out of Sai's grip, taking about three steps before sinking to my knees with a small grunt. My boyfriend's hands reached out quickly to grab my waist, and Miaka caught my shoulders and hugged me silently, having dropped to the ground herself.

__

She's safe…she's safe.

"Ryuu-chan…are you…" Her voice was shaking. "Are you all right?"

I opened my mouth to tell her I was fine, but I couldn't get any words out…so I nodded against her shoulder. We sat there for longer than was probably necessary, hugging on the floor with Sai kneeling beside me and rubbing light circles on my back.

"I'm so glad," she whispered. 

"Awww, what the hell…group hug," Gen-chan said, his cocky face in place once more as he plopped himself down on the other side, wrapped his arms around me and Miaka, and squeezed, clonking all three of our heads together. 

"Ack!" cried Miaka, and rubbed her head. "Gen-chaannnnnnn!!!"

He guffawed and stood up. "C'mon, help me get some food…Ryuu-chan looks like he's fuckin emaciated over there."

Immediately cheerful, Miaka jumped to her feet and followed Genrou into the kitchen, the two of them talking and laughing

__

a little too loudly, a little too strained

as Sai scooped me up again and swung me over to the couch, settling in the corner with his arms securely around me. I was glad Miaka and Gen-chan were trying to act normal…but underneath…I knew they were doing the act mostly for me, trying to be cheerful so that their own worries wouldn't make me feel even worse. But just that realization made me feel kind of bad, like I had a part in repressing their emotions. And emotions, especially strong ones, shouldn't be repressed…it just hurts more that way. 

__

Maybe she'll talk to Taka about it later…maybe I should tell him to talk to her…

She doesn't know it was supposed to be her.

The thought struck me suddenly, and I clutched unconsciously at Sai's arm, listening to her laughing, laughing to make _me_ feel better. Sai put his hand on the side of my chin and turned my head to look at him; he still looked worried. I wished he didn't.

"What is it?" he said, very softly, so only I could hear him.

"Tell Taka not to tell Miaka," I requested in a whisper. "She'll think…it's her fault somehow, and I don't want that, I don't want that…"

He drew my head to his shoulder, keeping his hand pressed warm against the side of my face. "I think…we have to tell everyone the truth," he murmured. "Don't you think so? If we're going to deal with whatever Taka was beginning to explain…I think that's important, don't you?"

He was right. I knew he was right, even if I didn't like it…even if I _hated _it. Blinking back tears—damn it, I just couldn't seem to escape them!!—I watched as Taka made his way over to the kitchen door and called for Miaka and Genrou.

"Hey. Fang boy. Save the snacks for later, okay? We all…we have to talk."

The laughter stopped almost immediately, and they shuffled back into the den. Gen-chan, despite his earlier tendency toward goofing, was silent again as he deposited himself in the armchair next to our side of the couch; Miaka went to sit in the middle of the couch, between us and Doukun, who I realized had been awfully quiet…

"Okay," sighed Taka, standing in front of us like a relaxed and friendly drill sergeant, "Miaka…did you call Houjun?"

She nodded. "He's on his way…he said, when he picked up the phone, that he was just about to call _us_!"

__

Seishi bonds. 

Taka nodded, putting his hands on his hips. "We all know why we're here, I think…Chuin, for those who don't remember much of the past, is the reincarnation of Tomo, a Seiryuu no Shichiseishi. He cast the illusion of Saihitei's appearance over himself, and…tried to attack our brother."

Gen-chan muttered some curses, and Miaka had gone pale…I guess they hadn't known about the whole illusion thing, how I had thought he was Sai and it hurt so much that he'd 

__

show me how much you love me show me how much you

"It's over," Sai whispered, for my ears only. Maybe he'd felt my heart pounding. "We're all here, and you're safe." I drew a breath and promised myself I wouldn't think about it anymore, because Sai was right…it was over. And nothing happened.

__

And if you act upset, it'll only make Miaka feel worse when she finds out…

"Myojuan and I have talked to Chuin, and he's…he regrets what happened." Taka shot a warning glance over at Genrou, who kept his mouth clamped shut, but glared dangerously at our friend. "He says—and we believe him—that he was being used by a greater power than himself to try to damage the followers of Suzaku…"

"Miboshi," Doukun said abruptly, his voice calm and clear. "I know it's him. I can feel it."

__

Miboshi…I KNOW I know that name, but…

Genrou looked as confused as I felt—in a glary sort of way—so Sai took it upon himself to explain. "Miboshi…was one of the Seiryuu no Shichiseishi," he said softly. "Chiriko defeated him, at the cost of his own life."

__

Doukun remembers his own death? Why didn't he ever tell me? Did he tell anyone? Maybe he told Myojuan…I hope he did, I hope he did…

"Miboshi," Taka confirmed after a slight pause. "According to T…to Chuin, Miboshi is…he's trying to gather the rest of the Seiryuu to summon the god here…which probably means he'll be after Yui-chan, as well."

"What the hell's he doin, summonin the fuckin god?!" Gen-chan exclaimed. "What kinda crack's he smokin??! He just on a fuckin power trip, or what??!"

__

Summon the dragon god…here? In this world?? 

Taka shook his head. "He doesn't know. All he knows is…along with trying to find the Seiryuu, Miboshi's also trying to defeat the rest of the Seishi, of all denominations…beginning with us. Apparently, he might hold a slight grudge against the people who were the cause of his ultimate demise…"

"Why would he go after Ryuuen?" Doukun said, still eerily calm. "Nuriko wasn't even alive when we encountered Miboshi. If it was revenge he was after, why not go after me?"

"Tomo attacked Ryuuen because…he's in love with him," Taka said.

__

Don't think about it.

"Miboshi gave him his powers back, and it was enough to corrupt him. He…he saw he had the power to take what he wanted, and…" 

__

Don't say it. Please…please…don't say it like that…

But Taka trailed off, unable to finish. "He wasn't ordered to attack Ryuuen," he said softly, and looked pointedly at Miaka with sorrowful eyes. "If they could make sure Suzaku no Miko couldn't perform her duties…"

I couldn't watch her face; I shut my eyes tightly, turning my face so that I was even closer to Sai's warm, comforting body. In the silence that followed, I heard our hearts beat together…mine fast, his slower, and steady…steady…

"B…but…Taka," Miaka said in a small voice, disbelieving. "You and I…we already…"

"The Seiryuu don't know that," I heard Taka reply bitterly. "And frankly, I don't think Miboshi would care."

"Taka…"

There was a rustling sound, and then quiet sniffling…I imagined that Taka had gone to hug Miaka just as Sai was hugging me, and I was glad. 

"Taka, if I can't summon Suzaku…"

"We can't think about that," Doukun said firmly. "All we need to focus on now is finding the Seiryuu seishi before Miboshi. We've already unwittingly located one: Kaen. And she isn't evil, or even suspicious. She'd _never _acquiesce to ally with Miboshi. We have to get her and keep her with us, where she's safe… Taka, did Chuin say if he'd gotten anyone else besides him?"

After a slight pause, Taka replied, "Myojuan asked him; he said he didn't know, but…Miboshi had spoken of the need to find others, so he hasn't gotten all of them."

"We need to find the rest of them, as quickly as we can," Sai agreed. "However, I think we should wait until Chichiri arrives to plan anything definite. It won't be long."

"What, he can't fuckin teleport, or whatever the fuck he does?" Gen-chan grumbled.

Sai shifted beneath me, and suddenly, I felt him standing, still carrying me; finally, I opened my eyes and blinked a few times. "Until then, then, I'm putting Ryuuen to bed; will you please tell me when he gets here?"

__

Bed? But…I can't! Not now, not when everyone's discussing such serious…

"Sai, I'm not…"

"You're not arguing with me," he insisted gently as we headed toward the stairs. "You need to sleep, you didn't sleep all night."

I _was _tired. Incredibly tired. And as much as I didn't want to be a burden, a voice that sounded a lot like Sai's told me that I'd probably be even _more _of a burden if I was overtired. As we left the room, everyone called out a soft goodnight, and Miaka added, "We love you." I wished I could tell them I loved them, too…but a big lump had formed in my throat, and I couldn't do much more than wheeze.

When we got to the bedroom, I was struck without warning by a sudden, urgent need to wash myself, and I managed to get the message across to Sai in rather choppy, embarrassed sentences. He smiled at me and nodded before I'd finished, though I thought his eyes looked kind of sad. Setting me down by the bathroom door, he made sure I had a towel and enough shampoo and stuff…but then, another fear crossed my mind.

I didn't want Sai in there with me while I cleaned myself up…but I also didn't want him to leave me for even a second, because I wanted to be absolutely certain he was himself. As I hesitated in the doorway, though, he seemed to read my mind.

"I'm going to stay right here, right by the door," he told me, stepping around me. "And I want you to talk to me, all right? And I'll…I'll talk back. So you'll know it's me."

My eyes almost filled again upon hearing this declaration of loyalty, and I nodded. Moving into the bathroom, I shut the door quietly and started drawing water for a bath. And he started talking over the harsh sound of the faucet, telling me all about his trip to his uncle's estate.

It was strange…being alone in the small room. Even though I could still hear Sai's voice nearby, it was still strange. There was no one there but me. No one to worry about but myself. It started a brief panic inside me; if I had to worry about myself, I'd have to remember what had happened, and all I wanted to do was forget it and move on. I tried to numb my mind to it, though, and I suppose it kind of worked, because I managed to avoid another total emotional collapse.

My greatest surprise came when I looked in the mirror. I'd tried to avoid it, because I knew seeing my own reflection would make what had happened seem more real than it had, but when I found myself succumbing to the sick desire to look anyway, I hadn't really thought it would be so bad.

I was even paler than usual. My eyes were more sunken than usual, red and puffy from all the crying I had done; my hair was disgusting from not having washed it yet, my skin looked sweaty and feverish. And there was a sizable, bluish-purple bruise on my face, starting on the right side of my bottom lip and spreading to the corner of my mouth. And then, on the side of my neck…more bruises, running down to my collarbone.

__

That's from when he kissed me.

I brought trembling fingers to my lip, rubbing lightly against the wound to see if it would hurt. It did.

__

I've only ever kissed Sai before…and this never happened, because he's always so gentle…

"Ryuuen, are you all right in there?" Sai's voice called from outside. "Do you need anything?"

I swallowed, my gaze trailing to the tub, which was nearly three-fourths of the way full. Leaning down to turn off the water, I called back, "N-no, I'm…I'm fine, I don't need anything." _Except that flashy thing from Men In Black that erases all these memories…_

He kept on talking as I slowly removed my pajamas—which I would never wear again—and sank into the warm water, telling me of his plane ride, the beauty of his late great uncle's estate, and how he'd left almost the entire place to his young and beautiful Puerto Rican housekeeper. When I had still not finished by the end of that story, he went on to speak of the past life, his daily rituals as the Emperor of Konan. When I had _still _not finished, he talked about books he had read, movies he had enjoyed…anything. I felt bad, making him sit there for so long. But every time I rinsed the soap from my body, every time I washed the shampoo from my hair…it didn't seem like it was enough, like I'd missed a spot somewhere, or something. So I let the tub drain and refill again, and begin the whole process over. I might have stayed there all day, but the thought of poor Sai being so kind and waiting for me and talking himself hoarse made me force myself to stand up and end it, drying myself off with a huge blue towel and donning a fresh pair of pajamas, yellow with a royal blue collar and pockets. 

Sai was sitting on the ground, leaning against the wall, when I timidly opened the door. I had combed my hair flat—I hated using a blower, because it made everything so dry—and brushed my teeth, into the bargain; when I emerged, he stood up, and said, "Feel better?"

I did—sort of—so I nodded, offering a little smile. 

"You look so tired," he murmured, drawing me close to plant a kiss atop my wet head. "Come on…into bed, I'll stay with you…"

__

Bed.

No, no no no no no no, not bed, not that bed…not any bed…because that's where…

I gripped his hand. "Sai…not the bed…please." Not that it made sense, but I found myself lacking the vocabulary to clarify.

Yet again, he seemed to understand, and yet another painful expression crossed his face. But he smiled again, and nodded, picking me up and toting me out of the room and into the next one. I didn't know how relieved I was to be out of that room until we left; it was like he'd read my mind before I'd even read it myself.

The other room was slightly smaller, with blue-flowered wallpaper. The bed was different…tidy and white and clean…but I just…

__

This is stupid. It's not even the same bed!! Stop being such a traumatized moron and cope, already!! What, are you gonna sleep on the floor for the rest of your life because of one stupid incident??

But I couldn't help it, and I turned my face to Sai, unable to look him in the eye. "Um…I'm sorry…I c…I can't…"

"I know," he assured me, taking the extra quilt that was folded at the foot of the bed. "Don't worry. And don't be sorry." And I noticed he was heading over to the rocking chair on the other side of the night stand, a big grandma-type one with wooden arms and an embroidered seat. Turning around, he sat down and leaned back, so that I was lying against him with my knees drawn up, shins pressed against the arm. With one hand, Sai took the quilt and tucked it around me, then rested one arm around my shoulder, and the other around my waist.

"Is this all right?" he wanted to know. 

It was more than all right. I felt so safe…so warm…

__

He's being too nice to me.

"Sai…" I said in a small voice.

"Mm?" He had begun rocking the chair gently.

There was so much I wanted to say.

__

Why are you staying with me? Why are you being so nice to me? Don't you understand that I would have done anything he told me to do? Anything at all? I don't deserve you…I don't deserve you.

But what I really said was, "I love you." I hoped he couldn't tell I had started to cry again.

He lay his cheek on top of my head, and for a while, I was certain that he wasn't going to answer me, that he was just caring for me now out of old loyalty. But then he said, "I love you, too. More than anything in the world."

And although I knew I didn't deserve it, I was glad. I was so glad that I couldn't help the teary sniffles that escaped as I hugged him, alerting him to my broken-down state. But he didn't say anything, just reached out and wiped them away and started humming gently, something old and beautiful. And despite myself, it wasn't long before I had fallen fast asleep.

I was too exhausted to dream.

****

TBC…

Notes: ^^;;; Whoahhh, that chapter was pretty long!!! Maybe it answered a couple questions, though. ^_^ In case it didn't: the reason poor Chichiri hasn't been in this story yet is because he's over in Indiana with Kouran. ^_^ Miaka came down for Valentine's Day to spend it with Taka, but since Chichiri and Kouran live together anyway, they didn't need to travel. And V-day isn't really a group holiday, so that's why he stayed at home. **nodnod**

As far as the Tomo thing goes…I'm going under the idea that shin had a lot to do with Tomo's less-than-pleasant personality. I don't know if there's anything out there that would disprove that, but…**shrug** I'd be anxious to hear, if there is. If there is…just pretend that's the way it is. ^__^() Heehee.

And the stupid joke that Tasuki makes about the mountains…ehehehe. That's supposed to be a reference to Heidi. You know…there's the girl Clara, who can't walk…and then she vacations in the Alps and is miraculously cured by the fresh air and sheep? ^_^() It's not a good joke, but it's kinda not supposed to be, since Tasuki's really stretching here. ^^;; And why does Tasuki know the story of Heidi???…cuz he's got about five sisters!! ^_^

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ANOTHER STORY AKUGI!!

Ryuuen: Bonds. Seishi bonds.

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^^;; ANOTHER STORY AKUGI, take two!!

Ryuuen: The bed was different…tidy and white and clean…

  
**Snuggles the Bear: **That's cuz you used Downy liquid detergent with color guard!!!

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Ryuuen: …

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Snuggles the Bear: I will steal your soul!!!

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Ryuuen: AAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

~.~()


	7. The Hardest Step to Take

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Disclaimer: I have twenty cents. Fill in the blank.

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Warnings: Shounen ai, angst, sap, blahdeblahdeblah. ^^;;

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Notes: Hi! **wavewave** Hope this is to everyone's liking. I apologize for the sap sap sap. ^^;; 

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YET ANOTHER STORY

Chapter Seven:

The Hardest Step to Take

He tried to be gentle when he moved me, and he was…but I drifted slowly back into consciousness anyway. 

At first, it didn't really register that he was gone. The quilt was still warm around me…I could still feel his chest rising and falling against my cheek, the chair rocking slowly back and forth…

And then I heard his voice, sounding farther away than it should have.

Bringing my palm up to rub at my eye, I squinted out from the folds of my cover, craning my neck to see out. I was alone in the room, huddled against the back of the rocking chair; my stupid heart immediately started pounding, but I willed it to stop. With mildly trembling arms, I pushed myself up to an upright sitting position, glancing around and trying to follow the sound of his voice.

The door was cracked open, and I relaxed slightly as I realized he had only just stepped outside.

"He's fine," Sai was saying in a hushed tone that I had to strain to hear. "As well as can be expected, I suppose. He's exhausted…and just…broken, somehow. I wish I knew how to fix it."

__

Broken…he thinks I'm broken?

"If it helps, I know what you're going through," said another voice. Well, of course; Sai wouldn't be out there talking to _himself_. It was good that he was talking to Taka…it was good, because people need to talk about things. "When Miaka thought Nakago had raped her…I didn't know what to do. But we got through it. _You'll _get through it."

__

Miaka?? Miaka went through this, and I never knew???

There was a slight pause, and then Sai said, "That was different, though; it was different. He thought it was _me_, Tamahome. He thought _I _would…would _do _something like that! When I knew he didn't want to…and we'd just discussed it!"

I drew my knees to my chest. _Don't hate me, Sai…don't hate me. You don't have any reason not to…but please…I couldn't live if…_

"I don't believe this happened," he was saying now, his voice sounding strained. "I don't believe it…it's like a nightmare."

Another pause. And my heart caught in my throat.

"I know it will get better," Taka murmured. "It's awful. But I know it will get better. It _has _to."

Sai let out a breath. "I hope you're right."

"Umm. I'm sorry to change the subject so quickly, but Chichiri called; he just pulled off the highway, he'll be here in ten minutes."

__

Seishi bonds. Seishi bonds. We'll all be here, then.

"What do you want to do when he gets here? Will you wake him up? Because…he should be a part of it, I think."

__

I'm still a part of it.

Pause.

"Mm. I'll…I'll go wake him," said Sai softly.

"Hotohori…"

"Mm?"

"Chuin says…he wants to talk to Nuriko. I just wanted you to know; he wants to apologize…"

__

No…no, I can't see him again, I can't talk to him…he doesn't exist. He doesn't exist. He doesn't exist.

"You keep him away," Sai growled quietly. "I don't care what he wants. You keep him _away _from us. Understand?"

"I know…I know," Taka was quick to soothe. "I just wanted to tell you what he said, so you'd know where everything stands. I know you don't want to lay eyes on him. I wouldn't either."

"I…I'm sorry. I just…"

"Don't worry. I'm gonna go downstairs and wait for Chichiri…you go in and be with him, okay? See you in a bit."

Taka's footsteps moved off down the stairs, and after a moment, the door creaked open, and Sai stepped softly in. His eyes trailed along the floor, and he appeared deep in thought; when he finally looked up, he seemed surprised to see me awake.

"Oh," he said, smiling. "Good morning…or, good afternoon."

He was too calm. His tone had completely changed from the recent conversation I'd heard, and I didn't like it at all; I didn't want him to hide. He was being strong for me; he was always being strong for me, even when he should have just left me alone, even when I deserved to be alone. And I couldn't let him waste so much…not when it was my fault.

Shakily, I climbed out of the chair, standing rather bedraggled before him; I could feel one of my pajama legs riding up almost to my knee, and I figured I probably looked pretty pathetic and weak.

__

But you are. Pathetic. Weak. You are.

"Taka says that Houjun will be here shortly," Sai was saying, going around to the chest of drawers. "I'm sorry you didn't get to sleep for very long…but we thought you'd want to be a part of our discussion."

__

He can't even look at me.

He thinks I'm broken…

"Sai," I said, disgusted by the frailty of my own voice.

He turned then, brow creased, and straightened. When I could not find the breath to continue, he took a few steps in my direction, asking me if everything was all right, if I felt okay…

__

Don't you dare cry, I told myself.

And for once, I didn't.

I took a deep breath and said, "Sai…I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for putting you through this. I know…you're angry, and I just want you to know that…you don't have to stay with me if you don't want to. I mean, I'd…I'd understand, you know, if you…didn't."

__

There. You said it. You've freed him of his responsibility! Don't you feel better??

I kind of _did _feel better, because I didn't want Sai to be unhappy. But deep down, I wondered how I'd ever get through this without him. I needed him…I really did. But I wouldn't sacrifice his happiness for mine. I loved him too much for that.

__

Square those shoulders…set that jaw. You're strong. …At least pretend.

He had straightened, and was staring at me with wide eyes. The gap between us was closed in an instant as he hurried to grasp my upper arms, a confused and almost hurt look on his face. "Why…why would you say that? _Why_?"

I couldn't look at him. "I don't want you to think you have to stay around just because…you know…you feel obligated…"

"Ryuuen, lookat me," he said firmly. When I didn't comply, he shook me gently. "_Look _at me." I flicked my eyes up briefly, then returned my gaze to his red cotton shirt. He sighed, but continued anyway. "I'm staying with you because I _love you_! I'm not doing it because of any silly obligation I might feel! I love you and I _want _to stay with you, and help you through this…because I can't bear to see you in such pain! I don't understand…I don't understand how you would ever think I'd leave you!"

Even though his words made my heart swell, they also made a lump form in my throat. And I knew…I had come too far to go back now. I had to tell him exactly what had happened the previous night. The whole truth. I had to tell him…

"I don't deserve you, Sai…I just don't deserve you." My voice was shaking now, but I wouldn't cry. "Last night…with Chuin…I didn't say no. If I hadn't opened my eyes…I would have let him do any…anything. I wouldn't've protested at all, not at all, and I…don't know if you want to stay with someone…like that."

For the longest time, there was no sound in the room except his agitated breathing. 

__

Any second now, he'll leave…any second now…

"You…will stop this. Right now."

The almost dangerous tone of his voice startled me into looking up, my eyes lingering on his this time. And he looked angry. I'd never seen him angry, not when that anger was directed at me.

His grip on my arms had tightened, and he accented his words with brief, blunt shakes. "You will _not _blame yourself for what happened," he said, louder this time. Halfway to yelling. "I won't let you do that; I won't _let _you! How can you think it's your fault??"

Eyes wide, I winced. "S-Sai…"

"How can you think it's _your _fault when _he's _the one who attacked you?!" His volume had increased. "He made himself look like _me_, Ryuuen!! He played with your mind; he made you believe it was _me_!! How _dare _you blame yourself for what happened when _he assaulted you_?? When you were only quiet because you thought it was me?? When I was going to call last night…"

And then…suddenly…_he _was the one who was broken. 

The transition between yelling and sobbing was almost invisible. But suddenly…he was crying. His fingers grew stiff and slid from my body; he collapsed slowly to his knees, holding loosely to the sleeves of my pajamas, his forehead falling to rest against the lower part of my chest.

"I was going to call," he wept. "I had the phone in my hands…I had it in my hands! I wanted to tell you I wouldn't be home until today…and if you would have known that, you would have known he wasn't me, you would have realized…and none of this would have happened…Ryuuen…none of this would have happened…"

I was on the verge of another panic spell. Sai had never done this before…he had never been the one in need of comforting, before it had always been me! I knew that, somehow, he drew his strength from comforting me. But it had never been like this…and I didn't know what to do.

But then…

__

I know this. I know how to do this. It's been in my dreams for so long…that he'd need me as much as I needed him. I could never wish him pain, but if he should ever be in pain…I'll be there to comfort him. I'll be there. I'll be there…

My ancient voice in my head…it's still me, but different, somehow…

Slowly, I lifted a shaky hand, placed it on his trembling head…stroked the silky hair gently. "Shhh," I said quietly, surprised that I could find my voice. "Shhhh, Hotohori-sama… it's all right. Don't cry. It's all right." My other arm went around his shoulders, drawing him closer, and he brought his arms around my waist, squeezing tight.

__

Hotohori-sama…don't you know…I'll always be there for you.

Always.

"How could he do this to you?? To _you_?" he said, muffled by my chest and his tears. 

__

It's all right.

"It's all right," I said. "It just happened…it just _happened_."

"It's not your fault," he insisted. His voice had grown weaker, tired; but somehow, it still carried its imperial edge. Even after he had broken down in my arms, even with the tears still hanging from his words…he was still fighting. For me. 

__

It's not your fault, he said.

And Nuriko said…_I know._

"I…I know," I whispered to him…and all of a sudden, for some reason, I _did _know. It was as if someone was explaining things to me from a perfectly unbiased perspective…and I believed it. It wasn't my fault that Chuin had fallen in love with me. It wasn't my fault he'd decided to abuse his powers. And I had let him take advantage of me…but I hadn't wanted to. 

__

And that makes all the difference. I didn't want to. 

"I know," I repeated, trying to smile. "I know, now…I know."

__

Hotohori-sama…

"Sai…Sai," I said, my hand on his head. "Are you okay?"

He let out a shuddering breath, hugging me…but he wasn't crying anymore. "I love you. So much. And I would never leave you, even if you told me to."

I kept on stroking his hair. "I know," I whispered. And we stayed there, silent…and it was everything I had dreamed of. I had calmed him. I had made him better, made his tears stop. I was…useful. 

__

I wish I was a woman.

"I wish I was a woman," I murmured habitually, because I'd been repeating everything the voice in my head had said so far. But then…I noticed that Sai had gone a bit rigid, and I realized exactly what I'd just said.

Pulling away again, he gave me a strange look; I blinked down at him dumbly.

"Uhhhhh…I mean…" I stammered. "I don't…I…ahhhhhh…"

He started laughing as suddenly as he had started crying. Tugging me down to my knees before him, he wrapped me in a hug. "I've missed you," he said.

"I didn't mean to make you mad," I apologized. I felt I should. After all…however much it might have helped him, breaking down like that, it can't have helped his pride.

"Ohhh, sweetheart, no," he said quickly, and gave a little sniffle. "No, you don't have to apologize. What you said was normal…as awful as it is, it's normal for people who have been through this type of thing to say that. And I _know _that, and I _still _let myself get upset…"

"If I can't apologize, then you can't either," I insisted quietly, hunching my shoulders, losing myself in his arms. "That's the rule."

"Oh, the rule, is it? I see."

I played with the ends of his hair in the silence that followed.

"…Sai?"

"Mm?"

"Are you…are you really okay? Because I…I really want you to tell me if you're not. I want you to tell me everything, I mean, if you're really upset, you'll talk to me, right? I don't want you to hide things, because…that doesn't work."

"I'm okay," he assured me. "I'm really okay. And, to be honest…I didn't know I felt this way. I kept telling myself that it wasn't my fault for not calling, that it was just circumstance. And I thought I believed it. I guess logic doesn't help all the time when your heart is involved."

There was another comfortable moment of silence…and then, the doorbell rang.

"That's Chi…Houjun," he said, making no effort to move.

"Chihoujun?" I joked lamely. "Who's he? Isn't that a city in Wisconsin, or something?"

"Ha ha," he said, gently sarcastic, taking my arms and pulling away to look me in the eyes. "We ought to go down."

His eyes weren't puffy, because he hadn't really been crying for all that long. But he had streaks on his face, and I reached out a hand to brush his cheek. "You should wash your face," I murmured.

__

You gonna wash your face and stuff?

I shook my head once, a quick jerk, to make the memory go away; when Sai didn't say anything, I raised my eyes to his again. He had a funny look on his face, at once passionate (!!!) and hesitant, and I was a little confused as to exactly what was wrong. But then I saw the question in his golden irises, and I knew what he was asking…I knew what he wanted. And I wanted it, too…but last time…last time it had hurt, it had been strange and hard and rough, and what if it was all ruined because of that one awful kiss?

But my heart said, go ahead…this was _Sai_. It was only Sai. It was Sai's beautiful face gazing at me, the expression belonging only to him, never mirrored by anyone else, not anyone…not even someone who might have looked like him for a brief time. And Sai's eyes, begging the question…I knew he would be kind if I refused, I knew he would be patient. It was all there, in his eyes. So I relaxed, staring nervously up into his eyes and replying wordlessly with my own.

__

Please.

His mouth twitched upward at the corners, and then, ever so slowly, he bent his head and kissed me. So gently. So carefully that the slight pressure wasn't even enough to make my bruise hurt, not the faintest bit. And it was just like it had always been. 

__

Just him and me.

Just him and me.

I'm not broken, after all. 

He pulled away after a while, smiling softly as I tried to keep myself from drooling at his utter and undisputed perfection. Brow creasing just a little bit, he drew his thumb under my eye. "Are…you crying?" he said softly. "Are you all right?"

And I gave him the first genuine smile I'd had in what seemed like forever. "I'm just happy," I quavered. "That's all."

His forehead smoothed out, and his own smile deepened. "Will you be all right?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "As long as I have you, and those bozos downstairs. I don't think you guys'll let me mope for long."

With a brief, incredulous little laugh, he shook his head. "Ryuuen, of all the appropriate times to mope…"

"I know," I said. "But still…there's no use dwelling on it, right? It's over. And I…I know what to look for in people, to make sure they're them, so I won't make the same mistake again, I won't…" I cut myself off, realizing I sounded a little loony. Closing my eyes, I tilted my chin down to my chest and swallowed. "Well," I amended quietly, "so I'm not a hundred percent yet…but I'm better than I was half an hour ago. A lot better. And the hardest step to take is the first one, huh?" I lifted my head again, smiling brightly. 

And there was nothing but love shining back at me.

"C'mon," I laughed, giving Sai a gentle shove in the chest. "Go wash your face, or else people will think you leak."

He continued to look at me adoringly until he succeeded in making me blush. Then, bringing his head down to kiss my forehead, he stood up and headed off toward the bathroom. And I crawled up once again onto the rocking chair, pushing it into action with my legs, and waited for him to finish.

He'd kept the bathroom door open, just in case.

****

TBC…

Notes: ^_^() I'm tired…sorry for the sap. Hope you guys liked it. **tired smile** Ahhh, and Bashou-chan! ^__^ I appreciate your comments on the last chapter; know that this Sai thing was in the works at the time, but your review certainly helped finalize it. ^__^

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YET ANOTHER STORY AKUGI (kinda)

Ryuuen: How come I cry so much in this fic and the one that came before it??

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Mouse-chan: …Uhh…I'm tired.

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Ryuuen: **stomps foot** Whyyyyy??

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Mouse-chan: Because you never got any emotional release in the series and you really needed it, that's why.

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Ryuuen: But, _still_…

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Mouse-chan: And besides, you were just nearly raped!! I think you'd be a little shaky where nerves were concerned.

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Ryuuen: Oy vey, now she's talking about _nerves…_I think your thesis has brainwashed you.

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Mouse-chan: But the British Army at the start of the Great War was convinced that shell shock was just another form of cowardice, used by men who didn't want to fight…

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Ryuuen: HELLO???? **whap!!**

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Mouse-chan: **blinkblink** Mr. Sassoon?

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Ryuuen: Uhhh…_no_.

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Mouse-chan: Oh.

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Ryuuen: I think you oughta go to bed now; you're scaring people.

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Mouse-chan: Okayyyyyyy.


	8. Plans

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Disclaimer: Uhhh…umm…lalala.

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Warnings: Tasuki language, shounen ai, and the lamest chapter title in the history of the world. --;;

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Notes: Hiiii!!! Ahhhh, finals are coming, finals are coming…I have to finish my thesis, write a take-home final, study for a French exam, and finish coloring a giant picture of Nuriko. O.o;; I kid you not; that's my final art project. Ehehe. The instructor decided to encourage personalized projects, so she wanted me to do a giant anime character…ahhh!! He's too big!! Coloring him is crippling my hand and demolishing my supply of colored pencils! My white Prismacolor is now roughly the same size as a peanut—out of the shell!!! But anywayyyyyy…sorry I've been so long with this, but school is school, no daaaa. ^_~ Hope you guys like this; sorry it's a little on the short side. ^_^()

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YET ANOTHER STORY

Chapter Eight:

Plans

They were waiting for us when we came downstairs, sitting around the coffee table in the den and talking in low voices. I saw the top of Houjun's head over the back of one of the armchairs, and suppressed a wince; there was still one person who hadn't gone through all the movements of a post-traumatic experience. Are you all right, Ryuuen? Are you sure? Are you _sure_? I didn't mind that they cared. I was actually kind of glad. It just made me embarrassed to have everyone keep worrying.

Sai squeezed my hand as we approached, and Houjun peered around the side of the chair before rising to greet us. Or…_me_. I knew it was because of me.

"Hi, Ryuuen," he said in a soft voice, reaching out to touch my arm as we passed. I gave him a shy smile, still clinging to Sai as Houjun hugged me briefly. He didn't ask me if I was all right, for which I was a little grateful. Then again, out of all my friends, Chichiri would probably be the best to understand this type of situation, the need not to dwell on things. 

"All right, so it's decided," Doukun said, barely giving me and Sai a chance to get settled in the corner of the couch. "We separate, so as to better facilitate our search for…"

"Hey, hey, wait up just a fuckin sec," Genrou interrupted, swinging in from the kitchen with a tray of food. "Can we have a goddamn break?? All this fuckin plotting is makin my brain hurt like hell."

"Gen-chan!" squealed Miaka, perking up immediately.

"You just keep where you are, Vulture Girl," he warned, plopping his findings in front of me with a thunk that made me jump. "Ryuuen the Holocaust Survivor gets first dibs on the fuckin smorgasbord, okay? Hey, Ryuu-chan…better get some caffeine, ya still look wiped out."

"Excuse me, Genrou, but I really think we have more serious things to consider," said Doukun in a cool, almost dangerous voice. "We have to locate the remaining Seiryuu Seishi as soon as poss…"

Gen-chan's change in demeanor was almost instantaneous. "Excuse _me_, fuckin drill sergeant, but do you even remember what fuckin _happened_??" he snapped. "God_dammit_! We can wait a few goddamn minutes while Ryuuen has a fuckin _cracker_!"

"I remember…what happened," Doukun replied, turning glaring green eyes at our friend. "I am perfectly aware of our situation. And I still maintain that acting quickly is the most important thing to do right now. If we hesitate any longer, everything we would fight for could be lost."

__

Don't fight, I thought frantically, _don't fight…_

"You two," said Houjun firmly, "stop. Just stop."

Gen-chan bit his tongue, fierce eyes lingering on Doukun, and I reached out shakily to grab a can of Pepsi One from the tray. "It's okay, Gen-chan…really," I assured him, my voice subdued, but thankfully unwavering. "He's right…I've already been enough of a delay."

"Ryuuen, that's not what I meant," Doukun was quick to assert, sounding contrite.

"I know," I replied, nodding over at him with a smile. "It's okay." Beside me, Genrou sighed in defeat, though I knew he still didn't like moving so quickly after the attack. If there had been a tangible enemy, he would have been the first one to leap into the fray…but there wasn't. To him, the most immediate thing to deal with was me, and my well-being. And I was touched. But I knew that Doukun was right.

Houjun turned to Doukun, his deep brown eyes at once firm and gentle. "I think we all understand the need to act quickly. But it's easy to be rash if we approach the problem on a personal level."

Our super-intelligent friend lowered his head and nodded slowly. "I know. I'm trying to avoid that, but Miboshi…it's…not so simple, it seems." Miaka reached for his hand, and he looked up again gratefully.

"Mitsukake…Myojuan…is still upstairs?" Saihitei inquired as I sipped my beverage and tried to swallow a burp. He gave me a strange look, and I hiccuped.

"Yeah, we just switched…" said Taka, at the same time that Genrou pseudo-whined, "Ryuuen's drunk agaaaaiiinnnnn!"

I ignored him.

Houjun nodded, also pretending not to have heard the red-headed spazz. "Doukun's plan is to split into two groups so we can find the other Seiryuu Seishi as quickly as possible. One group will go with Chuin, with the hope that he will be drawn to those we don't know about; we're going to have to trust him, but in all honesty, I don't think he's a threat without Miboshi's influence."

"That may be, but I don't want him anywhere near us," Sai said, adamant. By "us," he meant him and me…and we all knew that, I think. The sense of love and connection that burned its welcome way into my heart from that one small word almost made me giggle into my soda, but I figured it wouldn't be very polite, considering the serious matter at hand. 

"And like I said, the fuckin psycho comes anywhere within half a mile of me, and I'll fuckin rip his head off, Miboshi or no Miboshi," Genrou growled.

"And like _we _said, we've already taken that into consideration." Houjun nodded again in our direction. "I'll go with Chuin; I can keep him under control, now that I know what he's capable of if we should hit any rough areas, no da. Doukun, Taka, and Miaka will come with me, leaving you three and Myojuan to go for Kaen, no da."

We blinked collectively at him in the pause that followed.

"What the _hell _are ya fuckin _sayin_???!!" Genrou exploded. 

"Chichiri-san!" said Doukun gleefully. "You've partially recovered your idiosyncratic vocal mannerisms!"

Genrou turned toward him. "What the hell are _YOU fuckin sayin_????!?!!" 

"Never mind, no da…" Houjun rolled his eyes.

"HAAAA!!" Miaka and I exclaimed, pointing at him. He gave us a pained look, and we giggled.

"What about classes?" Sai said suddenly. "We don't know how long this will take; what will we tell the school?"

Universal groan.

"That's right," Doukun muttered, "damn. How could I forget?"

"Fuckin school…just gets in the way, all the fuckin time…"

"Why can't Miboshi have been like Houjun, and spazzed out conveniently over the holidays?"

"Thanks a lot," said Houjun, fixing Taka with a bland look.

"No daaaaa," Miaka and I added.

He shook his head. "I think we all agree that this is more important than school…but we don't have to think about it right now, we don't have time. The four of us have to talk to Chuin about any hints as to where the other Seiryuu seishi might be, and you guys should get over to Kaen as soon as possible…"

"Wait…" I said quietly, the wheels in my head turning efficiently. They all paused to give me their attention, which I thought was pretty nice of them. I took another gulp of soda and set my can down on the coffee table, folding my arms tightly. "Can't we…can't we say that we were all involved in a sexual assault? Cuz it's true, you know…and that might buy us some time."

They stared at me with sadness in their eyes, and I wished they'd stop, because I hadn't been trying to gather more sympathy. I really thought we could use what had happened to our advantage…I really did. It wasn't supposed to be a ploy for attention, or whatever. I hoped they knew me better than that, and was fairly sure they did, but still…

Houjun smiled at me gently. "If that doesn't work for all of us, Ryuuen, I think it should take care of at least you and Saihitei…" he cut himself off, but I could almost hear "and Chuin," too. "And the rest of us, well…I'm sure we'll come up with something. We do have a certain amount of magic on our side, after all."

"Why don't you two go to the dean today, and get that taken care of?" Doukun suggested. "It would seem less suspicious if we went only a few at a time, instead of a cult of eight demanding sabbatical for God knows how long. And Myojuan and Genrou can go for Kaen in the meantime. Once you have her, you should have the same honing skills as we'll have with Chuin."

"Is the dean's office even _open _on Sunday, though?" I frowned. 

"Every other Sunday," Taka informed me. "Just for a few hours, since her schedule is so busy. She doesn't like having visitors on Sundays, but I went in to talk with her once, and for something less important than this."

I felt Sai nod beside me. "Is this one of the other Sundays?" I asked.

Taka shrugged. "You've got a 50/50 chance."

~*~

As Sai and I made our way to the administration building on campus and Myojuan and Gen-chan drove off to find Kaen, Houjun, Doukun, Taka and Miaka stayed behind at Sai's to have a "group discussion" with poor Chuin. Despite the bitter feeling that insisted on coming to the fore whenever I thought of Chuin, I couldn't help feeling sorry for him. If what Taka said was true, he was really confused by what had happened, and would probably never have _considered _doing something like this before. And now, here he was, in a strange house surrounded by people who pretty much hated him…He was probably kinda scared.

__

You were scared, too, ya know. You were awfully scared. And alone.

Stop it. I'm not thinking about it anymore.

Eventually, I realized that Sai was talking to me, and I forced myself to stop thinking about _anything_.

"Sorry, what?"

He smiled, one eye on me, one on the road. "Do you want me to do the talking? Because I will, if you want; I'll explain everything."

Well, back to thinking again; I weighed the situation in my mind, not even having bothered to consider it before. It had been hard enough trying to explain things to Sai and Myojuan. I couldn't imagine what I'd do if I had to tell a perfect stranger: a pointy, conservative, white-haired woman with spectacles and an icy glare (as I pictured her) who would probably respond with, "But, _boys _cannot be assaulted!" The chances were high that she, like countless before her, would mistake me for a female anyway, but still, if she had my records at her disposal…

"I'll explain," said Sai quietly, reading my expression. "Maybe you shouldn't even come…"

"No, Sai…I…" I laughed a little, my hand coming up to my neck to feel my new bruises. "Just look at me. I think my presence would only make the story more believable, don't you? As long as we keep up the pretense that I'm a girl."

He looked slightly confused. "What do you mean? Why?"

"Well…" I took a deep breath. "You know…sexual harassment, r-rape, all that stuff…it doesn't happen to boys. That's what a lot of people think, anyway…so what if Dean Patterson is one of those people? I just…if she can't tell I'm a boy, I think it would be better."

"Anyone who would believe that is an idiot," he said hotly.

"Yeah, well…people who believe the Holocaust never happened are idiots, but that doesn't mean there aren't people who do."

He shook his head, as if that firm denial could brush away the views of everyone in the entire country. But he didn't say anything else.

There were only a few cars parked outside the administration building, but we took the fact that there were _any _cars there as a definite good sign. We plugged the parking meter and went inside, climbing about three flights of stairs—slowly, as I remained slightly shaky and tired—before reaching Dean Patterson's office. The secretary, a young woman with light bluish hair tied back in a tight bun, looked up as we approached and slid her glasses down to the end of her nose. 

"Hello…" began Sai as I lingered slightly in the background, but she interrupted him almost instantly.

"Do you have an appointment?"

"I'm sorry, we don't. But it's fairly important…"

She gave an exasperated sigh, grabbing the phone to her ear. "One minute…" she droned. I managed, to my credit, to prevent myself from a) frowning at her, b) informing her of her own rudeness, and c) punching her across the room for having the _audacity _to speak to my Sai like he was some sort of bother. After a moment's conversation, consisting mostly of "Yeah…uh huh…uh huh"—my mind made a slight Beavis and Butthead connection, but only a slight one—she slammed the phone down and announced that our paths to the elusive Dean Patterson had been cleared.

Sai thanked her, and we moved to the polished wooden doors, looking up at then like Atreyu coming to the Sphinxes in The Neverending Story. Big doors. Intimidating doors. Doors which were soon opened to reveal the person who would decide our fate.

…Okay, a bit dramatic.

Dean Patterson was in her chair, back turned to us, clicking away at the computer as we stepped timidly inside. I was trying to make myself walk as ladylike as possible, failing miserably, and _really _grateful that Sai couldn't see me. Even more grateful that Gen-chan hadn't decided to come along, because he would _never _have let me live it down. I felt like a complete idiot, trying to be something I wasn't.

She didn't say a word when we came in, nor when the door swung shut with a firm thump that seemed ominously loud. All that was visible over the back of the chair was a mound of gray hair, and other than that, we could have been in the same room with Dr. Claw from Inspector Gadget, for all we knew. Of course, I had to check for a Madd Cat. There wasn't one. Duh.

"Dean Patterson?" Sai ventured after a few uncomfortable moments of silence. I inched closer to him, peering around the large room with the portraits and trophies and mahogany bookshelves and feeling very, very small. An evil-looking, serious old man in one of the portraits began to look like he was staring at me, and I narrowed my eyes and stared back…then realized that I was having a staring contest with a painting, and therefore the odds of winning did not look very high.

The typing had not stopped, so Sai took a breath and tried again. "Dean Patterson? Do you mind if I have a word with you? If you're busy, I apologize for the interruption, and I'd like toOAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

He stumbled backward as the leather chair spun around to face him, grabbing my arm tightly as we were confronted by the wrinkled face of a short—impossibly short, really—old woman, who seemed to be hovering at least two inches above the seat.

Something in my head noted that she looked awfully familiar, but at the moment, I was too busy with an armful of trembling Sai to really search my memories, blinking stupidly at my boyfriend's outburst.

The old woman did not look amused. "Hotohori. I see you have been taking lessons from your money-grubbing friend concerning acceptable greeting rituals of the day."

****

TBC…

YET ANOTHER STORY AKUGI!! ****

Ryuuen: **narrating** He smiled, one eye on me, one on the road…

****

Sai: **eyes pop out of his head, one flies out the window** Wahahahahahhoooooooo!!!

****

Ryuuen: **recoils** EWWWWWW!!! 

YET ANOTHER STORY AKUGI, take two!!! (ahhh, this one is awfulllll) ****

Imaginary Dean Patterson: Boys cannot be assaulted!!!

****

Ryuuen: They can, too!!

****

Chuin: **pops in the door in a suit and glasses, carrying a briefcase** Want me to demonstrate??

****

Ryuuen: O.O;;;

YET ANOTHER STORY AKUGI, take three!! ****

Saihitei: What the hell is up with the briefcase??

****

Chuin: I DON'T KNOWWWW, don't look at me!! SHE made me do it!! **points accusing finger at Mouse-chan**

****

Mouse-chan: ^^;;;; I don't…I…uhh…THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT!!

****

Ryuuen: **twitch twitch**

YET ANOTHER STORY AKUGI, take four!! ****

Sai: **patpat** Mouse-chan…you're reeeeally tired, aren't you? ^^;

****

Mouse-chan: **grabs Sai and starts sobbing hysterically**

****

Sai: O.o;;

****

Ryuuen: **miraculously recovered** Grrrr…get off of my boyfriend.

****

Mouse-chan: Can't we share???

****

Ryuuen: NO.

****

Mouse-chan: What if we were Mormons???

****

Ryuen: STOP!!! ENOUGH!! THERE ARE NO GAY MORMONS!!

****

Ryuuen: ^^;;;

****

Mouse-chan: C'mon, you know you want a Sai, too.

****

Ryuen: ^_^n **jumps on Sai**

****

Sai: ^_^()()()()

****

Ryuuen: **cries**

****

Kaze-chan: Ahhh, for crying out loud…What's so great about Hotohori, anyway??? You can't hit him!!! Hmmm…you can hit Tokaki, though…**wanders off in search of Tokaki** ^__~

****

Chuin: Uhh…hello? Remember me??

**Taiitsukun stops the ill-fated akugi before more harm can be done** ****

**audience sighs in relief**


	9. The Mallet of Doom

****

Warnings: Slight Tasuki language, shounen ai, slightly SD stuff, uhhh…lalala.

****

Notes: Gahhhhhh, sorry sorry sorry for the delay!!! ^^;;; But my classes are over and I only have one final, one take-home final, and my thesis defense to do, so I should have much more free time. ^__^() Hope you guys like this, ehehe…

****

YET ANOTHER STORY

Chapter Nine:

The Mallet of Doom

"T-t-t-Taiitsukun!" Sai stammered, trying to regain his normal composure and failing like an ostrich trying to fit into a canary cage. 

Wide-eyed, I turned my gaze back to the old woman, whose gaze, if possible, deepened. 

"You were expecting the Spanish Inquisition?" she grumbled.

We blinked. 

"I…I didn't realize you were the dean of the school," Sai breathed. 

Before I knew what was happening, she'd whipped out a mallet or something and bonked him on the head with it!! Where the heck did she even _get _the freaking thing?? "I'm not the dean, over-attractive idiot. Do you think I would need to bother myself with such a mundane and unrewarding position?"

He winced and grabbed his head, and I clenched my fists in fury. "_Hey_! You may be important, but you can't just hit people like that!!!"

"Mmm, especially when one of those people happens to be your soul mate, isn't that right, Nuriko?" She raised an unsympathetic eyebrow at me, and I glared at her, mouth clenched in anger…until I realized what she'd said, and froze.

"D…uhh, soul mates?" I said in a small voice, feeling myself start to redden. Hearing someone else say it—the controller of the universe, at that!—equipped my heart with water wings, so to speak. Was she telling the truth?? Did that mean that Sai and I really _were _meant to be together, and it wasn't just some sort of desperate delusion on my part?? At her almost grudging affirmative look, my knees turned to jelly and I had to clutch at Sai's arm to steady myself. "Ehehehehehehehehehehehehe!!!"

The old woman closed her eyes. "Suzaku. What have I done?"

Hiding my face in my boyfriend's sleeve, I pressed a hand to my right cheek and continued to giggle. He patted the arm that was entwined with his and sighed. 

"Not that it isn't refreshing to see the two of you when neither of you is moping about like a love-scorned basset hound," Taiitsukun continued dryly, "but I'm sure you two must have other business here. Clearing up absences, perhaps?"

"Forgive my question," Sai ventured, "but might I ask why you are here, in the dean's office, if you have no connection to the school whatsoever?"

"When one is the ruler of the universe, one need not succumb to normal rules," was her helpful reply. "But it is for the best; do you think, if you would have visited on the _correct _Sunday, the real Dean Patterson would have let you off the hook for something as unconventional as a homosexual assault?"

I stopped laughing abruptly as my fear and shame was mentioned so bluntly, and shrank back from the woman, lowering my eyes. Beside me, I felt Sai tense, and I'm sure he would have rebuked her if she hadn't spoken first.

"Oh, come now, Nuriko," Taiitsukun rasped, sounding the slightest bit exasperated. "It was not my intention to vex you. Yes, I know what happened, and why, and I am certainly not one to belittle you for it, or to underplay the event in any way. An attack is an attack, after all. Now…let me see what I can do about your respective excused absences." The computer screen behind her suddenly flashed a bright red, making me give a startled jump; it sped through file after file at lightning speed, clicking along smoothly, until finally coming to rest on a page that said, "Thank you! Please serve Suzaku well." 

Sai and I blinked again.

"Is…that…" he began.

"You and your companions have been excused from your remaining classes," she confirmed. "Oh, and congratulations; you've all passed with flying colors, even that red-headed punk friend of yours."

It took quite a while for this to sink in. "Ahh, T..Taiitsukun," I said in a small voice, "I'm writing a thesis…"

"From which you are excused," she repeated, sounding impatient.

"But…I _want _to write it," I protested meekly. "It was my choice, and…well…as much of a pain as it is, I'd feel like I was copping out if I didn't finish…" _Wait a minute_, I thought, _what the hell am I saying??!?!?! What the HELL?? I have a free pass out of the stupid paper, and I'm not taking it, WHY??? Why do I have to be so goddamn moral??_

"Maaatttaku," she grumbled, shaking her head, "this would be so much easier if you were still a brainless concubine."

I gaped at her indignantly. "I am not cheating on my honors thesis, and that's _final_!" _That's right; I'll show HER! _"And I wasn't _brainless_! I thought up the blood transfusion system before it even _existed_!!"

__

Wait a minute…I did??

"Fine, fine…have it your way," she said gruffly. "And the world will end because you're sifting through primary sources."

"So, we're to locate the rest of the Seiryuu seishi," Sai said quickly, before I could retort. "Do you know where they are?"

Swiveling her head almost like an owl, Taiitsukun fixed her eyes on him. "You must find them on your own. I cannot reveal such things."

"But when we were looking for Houjun, you sent us that mirror thing that…" I began, but she cut me off.

"In this instance, it is against the will of Destiny that I assist you in this matter. I have done what I can, and you are free to start your quest."

I crossed my arms indignantly. "That's a really stupid rule. That's like in 'The Neverending Story,' when they send Atreyu off to save the world, but the rules are he can't take any friends and he has to leave his weapons! Hello, that really might've helped him out. If the entire world is at stake, why the heck can't we take advantage of everything we can?!"

Now, it was _my _turn to be bonked with that stupid mallet. I reeled, seeing stars, and fell against my boyfriend. That woman was really starting to piss me off.

"Do you mind?" Sai said in a low voice, bringing an arm around my shoulders to steady me as I rubbed my head ruefully. "He's been through a lot, you know."

"Then he should refrain from asking stupid questions when I have just given him the answer," she replied. "However, time grows short…" She kept on talking about our duty, blah blah, and I sulked because she'd hit me and she was really pretty rude. My eyes trailed to the polished wooden bookshelf beside me, glanced over the books and the little trophy things and the pictures of the real Dean Patterson's kids…and suddenly…

__

Hmm, what have we here?

I raised an eyebrow at the little wooden gavel that sat placidly upon a stack of law books, trimmed with gold and beckoning to me with tiny, invisible fingers. My hand clenched unconsciously, and my gaze darted back to Taiitsukun to see if she'd noticed; she hadn't. Phew. Back to the object of my desire.

__

Should I?

Should I?

She'll get really maaaaad…

But what can she doooo??? She needs us to save the bloody world!

Do it!

Do it!

Do it do it do it do it…

Before I could process things any further, I had lashed out, grabbed the gavel, leaped back to the desk, and whacked the old bat over the head with it. The thing was about the same size as a pipe…but, ehehe, my god-given power came to my aid admirably, driving Taiitsukun down from her hovering position and splatting her onto the floor with a grunt of surprise.

At first, I thought this was remarkably funny…until I realized that I'd just splatted the controller of the universe, and the prize gavel fell from my numb fingers and clattered to the ground. I laughed nervously, hoping she'd think it was just a joke or a spasm or something; Sai, who had been stricken into immobility, chose that moment to break his trance, grab me around the waist, and haul me from the room, calling out a hasty "Welllllllllllllll, thankyouforyouradvice, we'llbeintouch!!" as we closed the door behind us.

The secretary bade us a strangely cheery farewell when we sped past her, and oddly enough, it seemed like she was a lot shorter and had redone her hair in pigtail braids; I did not, however, have much of a chance to process this. Sai didn't stop running until we were out of the building and well on the way to the car. He pushed me in through the driver's side door and crawled in himself, and I thought he might be mad at me for what I'd done to Taiitsukun…but he slumped on the wheel, shoulders shaking, and I realized he was laughing.

A smile grew on my lips at this unexpected reaction, and uttered a small giggle, which soon gave way to hysteria. 

"All right," said Sai, when he had calmed down enough to speak coherently, "the next time we should cross paths with her, I think you should keep to the background…"

"_Disguised as a Nyan Nyan!!_" I roared with laughter, one hand to my face, one to my stomach, which had begun to ache. It struck me as a very amusing thought at the time. Hey, I'd only gotten three hours of sleep. At least it made Sai laugh, too.

"I wonder why she hasn't come after us," he giggled.

"Maybe I hit her too hard, and she can't remember how…"

"Ahhh, Ryuuen," he laughed, starting the car, "that really wasn't the most brilliant thing to do, you know…but it was awfully entertaining."

I beamed at the street before us, and almost cried because I could still laugh.

~*~

We returned home to find Taka and Miaka cuddled up on the couch, and all of the food that had been on the tray Genrou had brought from the kitchen completely gone. Not a crumb littered the small coffee table upon which the tray had rested. It was as if…_none of the food had ever existed at aaalllll!!!! _

Hehe. Anyway.

They looked up when we came in, and both raised weak hands in greeting. I grinned and, without taking off my coat, trundled over to the couch and began a group cuddling session, resting my head on Miaka's back and closing my eyes. 

"How'd it go?" asked Taka, as his girlfriend let out a happy sigh.

"Mmm…I hit Taiitsukun on the head with a judge's gavel," I admitted sheepishly.

He gave a little laugh. "You did _what_? Taiitsukun? You ran into Taiitsukun?"

"Apparently, Taiitsukun had decided to take over for the dean today," Sai explained, heading over. "We're excused for the semester. You and Houjun, too, Miaka, over at Perry."

Miaka sat up abruptly, squishing my head into the soft cushions of the furniture. "Ahhh, really, Sai-chan? That's terrific!!"

"You really…_hit _the old witch??" Taka's wide violet eyes met mine as I pried myself out from between Miaka and the couch, slightly staticky. 

I shrugged. "She hit me and Sai with a magical mallet."

He whistled. "Wowwww, you are _not _gonna be on her good list when we see her again…"

As I giggled, remembering the thing about pretending to be a Nyan Nyan—which made more sense now, since my memory of Nyan Nyans had started to kick in during the ride home—Sai jumped topics to important stuff.

"Where is everyone else?"

"Doukun and Houjun are…upstairs," Taka replied, avoiding the name Chuin, which I guess was thoughtful of him, even though I kept telling myself it wouldn't bother me anymore. "Myojuan and Genrou aren't back from Kaen's place yet. As soon as the guys come down, I think our group's gonna head out."

__

"Our group." 

That's right. We're separating. 

"I wish we didn't have to split up," I admitted softly, clasping my hands in my lap and staring at them. "I know it's the best way to do things, but still…"

Miaka patted my shoulder. "I know, I wish we could stay together, too…Oh! Ryuu-chan," she said, as if just remembering something, and I looked up at her. She seemed to hesitate for a split second before continuing. "Will you come talk with me in the kitchen for a little bit?" 

Her eyes were guarded, somehow, and a little uncertain. I studied her briefly, slightly confused, before nodding. "Sure, of course."

I shrugged out of my coat, and we both stood and headed to the kitchen, where I took a seat on the counter, and she hopped up onto the island across from me. For once, she wasn't even scanning for food; maybe it was because she'd already eaten all the snacks, but a full stomach had never stopped her from eating before.

"What's up?" I asked, beginning to worry.

She let out a breath. "Ryuu-chan…I know you probably are sick of people talking about what…what happened to you."

Something inside me winced, and my cheeks grew warm. I looked down quickly, wondering how I was supposed to forget about something if people kept bringing it up.

"I've been meaning to talk to you about it, but this is the first time I've…I just…I know what you're going through," she continued slowly. "You won't remember this, because you…weren't around…"

__

Oh my god, that's right…that's right, Taka said this happened to her, too! Why am I so selfish? I should've remembered that this must be really hard for Miaka, if she went through this same kind of thing…I should've remembered!

"I was taken prisoner by one of the Seiryuu seishi," she was saying. "And he said he was going to…and I thought he did, for a long time. It was awful. Later on, I found out it hadn't really happened, but for a long time, I was so ashamed…and Taka really helped me through it." She laughed a little. "Okay, so what's your point, Miaka? My point is, well…if you ever need to talk to someone who understands what happened to you, even if it's over the phone, since we're splitting up for a while…please, talk to me."

She was regarding me with a tiny smile on her beautiful face, her eyes sad but earnest, and I had to issue a serious internal order to my tear ducts to freeze in their tracks and not get all emotional again. I smiled back at her, though, and nodded.

"Thanks, Miaka…thank you. I will."

Her eyes brightened, and she opened her arms. "Now I get a hug, right?"

Rolling my eyes, I hopped down from the counter. "You're so demanding," I teased, but stepped forward anyway and wrapped my arms around her waist. She hugged me back, giggling, and followed our tender moment with the following deep, meaningful words:

"Does Sai have any ice cream?"

__

Well, back to your regularly scheduled Miaka. "You ate it all last time you were here."

"Awwwww." 

"Yeah, that's what _he _said."

"Aww, he did not," she laughed, thwapping me lightly on the shoulder.

"He did! You should've seen him, he was very distraught," I said, fixing a serious look on my face.

"But he wouldn't say 'Awww,' it'd be more like…" Miaka straightened suddenly, pushing her eyebrows together slightly and staring like a puppy at the freezer. "It's…it's _gone_," she said in a deep, breathy voice, which was enough like Sai to make me nearly collapse with giggles. 

Before we had time to really lose ourselves in our overtired antics, the resonant sound of the doorbell echoed into the kitchen, and we looked at each other.

"That must be Gen-chan and Myojuan and Kaen," chirped Miaka happily, sliding to the ground. "C'mon, let's go say hi! I wonder if Kaen has her memories!" Craftily, she stuck her hand in the cookie jar before heading back into the den, grabbing about five Oreos and shoving two into her mouth right away. I shook my head at her appetite and her metabolism and followed her.

"…_Fuck _is goin on! Not a fuckin clue! A whole fuckin _day_!" Genrou was ranting as we approached.

Miaka blinked with her mouth full. "Mmmfffhhhh??"

"Tasuki, calm down…please," Sai soothed him, holding up his hands. "What happened?"

Genrou hmphed, hiding his distress, and crossed his arms tightly, muttering curses. Taka, Sai, Miaka, and I turned to Myojuan for a rational explanation, and as the big guy sighed and closed his eyes

__

Kaen's not here

I had the strangest feeling that something was wrong. It pricked up my spine like ice, and my breathing suddenly grew harder…Something was wrong.

"They're gone," Myojuan said evenly. "Kaen. Lanva and Doulin. They're all gone."

****

TBC…

Notes: **adds corn starch to the plot**

YET ANOTHER STORY AKUGI!!! --;; ****

Saihitei: T-t-t-Taiitsukun!!

****

Taiitsukun: You were expecting the Spanish Inquisition??

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Genrou: **bursts in, dressed in cardinal robes** NO ONE EVERRR EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!!!

****

All: **blinkblink**


	10. Paying a Visit

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Disclaimer: Fushigi Yuugi wa watashi no series ja nai. ^^;;;;;;;;; Or whatever.

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Warnings: Tasuki language. Styrofoam. Shounen ai. Probably melodrama and sap. **nod** I can't tell.

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Notes: Ahhhhh, forgive me for taking so long with this chapter…and forgive the crappy chapter title. ^^;; I am all done with school now, which _should _mean that I have lots of time to write stuff…however, it also means that I must battle with my brother for the use of the computer, with my parents for the use of my time (for example: I have just sat down at the computer, when my mother comes down and wants me to a) run an errand, b) eat dinner, c) clean the house, or d) _transpose a song on the piano_…I'm not kidding. That happened today.), and with my own self, since part of me is very much addicted to Spider Solitaire and refuses to stop playing it. --;;; Anyway. Here's the new chapter, and I hope you guys like it. ^^;;

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YET ANOTHER STORY

Chapter Ten:

Paying a Visit

Taka was the first one to speak.

"_Gone_??!" he exclaimed. "What do you mean?!"

"What the fuck d'ya _think _he means, Scrooge?!" Genrou shouted. "Is he speakin fuckin _parseltongue_??! _THEY'RE…FUCKIN…GONE!!!_"

__

Gone. That means…Miboshi…

"The woman in the apartment next to them said she hadn't seen any of them for over a week," Myojuan went on, holding out his hand to stop Genrou's ranting. 

Shaking his head, Sai pressed his lips together. "Miboshi."

"But hold on, Ch…Chuin said that he was the only one Miboshi had gotten," Taka reminded us uneasily.

Our friend the med student shook his head. "No. He said that, as far as he _knew_, he was the only one. That doesn't mean that he couldn't have taken them separately, kept them unaware of each other, in case one of them should ever be captured…like this."

__

Kaen…no. Not Kaen. 

A dark feeling rose up inside me as I remembered our cynical friend; the way she'd pretend to be tough and scowl like the dickens one moment, then grin and kiss your cheek the next. We weren't close, but we were close enough for me to care about her, and to feel real panic at the prospect of her in the clutches of whatever Miboshi was…at the possibility that he might make her evil, as well. And Doulin, who stayed up to play video games with me when the parties got too rowdy, who appeared so innocent before she started slapping you into the next world…could she be possessed as easily as Chuin? Even Lanva…I didn't know him well at all, but still…

"We're going to have to be extremely careful," Sai said softly, raising a hand to my shoulder as if he didn't even realize what he was doing. "If Miboshi _does _have them…we can't take chances. If we meet them, from now on, we can't trust them. He might have already gotten to them, turned them against us."

"But…" Miaka began, but bit her tongue, understanding that Sai was right. I knew she didn't like the idea of not trusting her friends; I didn't either. I was actually beginning to feel sick. What is friendship, after all, but love and trust?

__

This is an awful kind of war…throwing our friends at us like wind-up soldiers; it will break us either way. Either they'll win in the first place, or we'll break from the grief of fighting someone we love.

God…if any of us ever fell into Miboshi's hands…if I had to fight any one of us…

I couldn't do it…I couldn't…

Inching closer to Sai, I wrapped my arms around his waist from the side and leaned into his shoulder, craving the contact that told me he was himself still. Chuin masquerading as Sai was one thing…but if Sai himself was ever caught and turned against me…against _us…_

Gen-chan sighed as Sai squeezed my shoulders gently, and ran a hand though his red hair. "Well. Once again, we're royally fuckin screwed. Not only might our goddamn friends be possessed by a fuckin infanticidal floating gnome, we now have no fuckin magnet to lead us to _other _fuckin Seishi before the fuckin floating gnome can get them first and turn the whole fuckin seishi _world _against us!"

__

Except for that 

"Except for that guy in…" I heard myself murmur, and stopped short. Gen-chan's head snapped over to me, and he stared at me with wide eyes…and I knew he understood what I meant. 

The others, meanwhile, were looking at us strangely; although my own face was fixed on Genrou, I could tell out of the corner of my vision. There was silence for a good while as I worriedly searched his eyes for an answer…did he feel the same thing I did? 

"Ryuuen?" said Myojuan, glancing from me to Genrou and back again. "What do you mean? Do you know another of the Seiryuu seishi?"

"What guy, sweetheart?" Sai said softly, speaking to me as if I was sick, or something…I guess I must've looked a little out of it; I mean, I'd just grabbed him and all that, like some kind of scared kid. Okay, so I was a little scared, and I'd needed to feel him close to me…stupid stupid dependent me. But it made me feel bad, being treated like this. Even if it was comforting, I didn't want Sai to think that I was just a child whom he had to take care of and treat with kid gloves. 

"Ryuuen," Sai said again, still patient and quiet, "who are you talking about?"

The importance of my memory came leaping back in a flash, and with a quick, unspoken promise to Sai that, somehow, I'd show him he could depend on me, too, I shook myself out of my stupor and took a breath.

"At the police station," I said steadily. "Genrou and I…When Genrou was arrested last fall, and Doukun and I went to bale him out…the guy running the place just…let him go. We felt something, a connection; we both did, I know we did…but we didn't think it was that important…" I looked hurriedly over at Genrou, who was pursing his lips and nodding.

"I think he's a seishi," Genrou mumbled, glancing briefly at the floor before meeting my eyes again and catching my affirmative nod. "Now that we've been seishi long enough to recognize the goddamn seishi linkage feelin, I think…he might be worth checkin out." 

That caught their attention, if it hadn't been caught already. Miaka and Taka both took big steps toward us, babbling frantic questions; Genrou cursed and tried to ward them off, while Sai and Myojuan tried to silence them.

"What did he look like?" Sai demanded firmly, cutting through the other voices. Suddenly, he seemed uneasy…maybe even a little angry…and I swallowed. It wasn't because of us, I was almost sure of it; so that meant…

"Umm…big," I said. "Blue eyes, blond hair…"

"_GYAHH!!!_" Taka and Miaka exclaimed, looking positively horrified. Genrou looked slightly puzzled at their outburst—I know _I _was—and Sai still seemed relatively upset. Myojuan was staring off into space.

"Does he have a long nose?" Taka asked.

"And is his face scary, like this?" Miaka added, making a disturbing face.

"And does he glare at you, like this?"

"And does he smirk at you and make you feel like you're the size of an ant and…"

"Ahhhhhhhhh, stop it, stop it, you guyssss!!" I cried, waving my hand at them. "Stop looking at me like that, you're creeping me out!"

"He seemed pretty fuckin normal to us," Genrou said, raising an eyebrow. "Which is more than I can fuckin say for _some people_…"

"Nakago," said Myojuan breathily, and to my horror, he seemed on an emotional level with Sai…serious and pale and slightly…hostile. And I'd never seen either of them like that. 

"Sai?" I said timidly, wanting to know what was going on, but unsettled by this different attitude. 

"It's all right," he said automatically, but didn't even look down at me. "We have to get him before Miboshi does…if Miboshi hasn't gotten him already."

"If he didn't confront Tasuki, Nuriko, and Chiriko," Myojuan calculated, "it stands to reason that, at the time, he didn't remember anything from his past life. Whether he does now or not is another matter…"

"Who the fuck is Nakago?" growled Genrou, and everyone focused on him.

Silence.

__

He was there at the end…after I'd died. 

After? 

Somehow…yes. After I was already dead…that's when I saw him. That's the only time I saw him. And we beat him, Tamahome beat him…and we returned to the sky…and Hotohori-sama said…

"He was a Seiryuu seishi," Taka explained. "The one in control. He manipulated Yui into believing Miaka was against her…he sent Suboshi to slaughter my family…and Ashitare…"

"He killed you," I interrupted quietly, my eyes on Sai…only on Sai. I saw the slight furrow in his brow, the pallor to his cheeks, the way he was jutting his jaw out just far enough so that I knew it was to make it stop trembling from anger or…or fear. "He killed you. You told me." To see Sai like this made my heart twist painfully, and I suddenly hated the befuddled policeman more than anyone else in the world. He'd hurt Hotohori-sama, and I took such things very personally… even if it wasn't fair, even if he was nothing like his former self, how could I accept anyone whose spirit had hurt the one person I loved above all others?

Sai looked at me then, his expression tired, apology evident in his perfect features. "That was in the past," he affirmed, though it sounded like he was trying to convince himself of that along with everyone else. "We can't afford to hold grudges." He looked up at Myojuan, who nodded solemnly

__

He killed Mitsukake, too, didn't he.

A silent voice inside my head said yes.

__

And Miaka and Yui…he hurt them. He was the reason we all fought, the reason the seishi were pitted against each other…all of us suffered because of him. Miaka and Yui and Hotohori-sama and Tasuki and Soi and even Tomo…if it hadn't been for him, it would have been so easy.

But it wasn't easy. We were afraid, we were trapped in his desire for power. Everyone who died…if he wasn't the actual killer, he was responsible, somehow. It all goes back to him.

Well. He can just try hurting my friends this time around. I'll show him. If he even raises a finger wrong, if he even BREATHES wrong, I'll…

"Ryuuen." 

I looked at my fist, which Sai had brought up to chest level; it was clenched tight, the knuckles white, and beneath my fingernails was a faint but growing pool of red. Giving me a worried look, Sai covered my fist with his own hand, pulling at my fingers to unfurl them. I relaxed in a second, startled at the blood, and he took my hand between his and held it gently.

Quickly glancing at the others, I took a shaky breath and gave them a huge smile. "Aha…well, that's what you get when you forget your own power!" I wanted to pull away; for the second time that day, the need to take a bath or a shower tugged at me, but I swallowed it forcefully. That wasn't as important as what we were discussing, and I was selfish to think about something so petty when the world was at stake.

"Nakago," Genrou muttered, rubbing his head. "Fuckin kidding me."

"There's no reason to believe he's still…uhh…" Taka began.

"A psychotic freak?" Miaka supplied.

"What we do know is that, given half a chance, he has the potential to be a formidable power," said Myojuan, grabbing his coat from where he'd just hung it and putting it on again. "We need to pay him a visit, and hope we're the first ones to find him." 

~*~

Sai was silent all the way to the police station, and I couldn't imagine what he could be dealing with. He sat there staring out the window, a slight frown on his face, tearing his eyes away only momentarily to give me half-hearted looks that were supposed to be reassuring, but I wasn't fooled. I tried to imagine how I would feel if I were going to meet Ashitare…but I don't think my imagination did it justice at all. Ashitare had been a puppet. Nakago had been the Jim Henson of Kutou.

It ate at me. I knew he wasn't feeling well—not physically, I mean, but emotionally—with this in addition to what had happened with me, but I couldn't do anything. I couldn't do anything but sit with him in the back of Myojuan's car and hold his hand.

I wanted to hold _him_, to comfort him more effectively somehow…but I knew that wasn't what he wanted right then. He needed to feel strong, in control. And though I didn't want to admit it, I knew that Sai was right: despite what Nakago had done in the past, we had to give him the benefit of the doubt. It would be harder to convince himself of that if he let himself give in to whatever pain he must be feeling.

It was dinner time when we arrived—me, Genrou, Sai, and Myojuan, that is, since Taka and Miaka had stayed behind with their "group." My stomach was highly aware of the hour. I hadn't had anything but a Pepsi One all day, and it was making me feel a little dizzy. But I knew the rumbling in my tummy would stop after a while, so I ignored it and stuck close to Sai's side as we made our way to the door.

__

What if he's not here? What if Miboshi has him already, what if Miboshi has them all, and we're too late and we can't win and what if people die? 

But when we stepped into the front office, there he was, sitting straight and calm and sipping coffee from a Styrofoam cup. His glasses perched delicately on the end of his nose, and he looked up in surprise upon our arrival, setting his paperwork aside.

"Can I help you?" he said, his voice even deeper than Sai's. He took off his glasses and set them on the table, regarding us with tired, watery blue eyes.

I found that I was clenching my fists again.

__

You killed Hotohori-sama. You killed him. And you don't even have the decency to remember. If I had been there, I would have ripped you apart…I would have… 

"You don't remember, do you?" Myojuan said evenly, his face void of expression, and I thanked Suzaku that _one _of us was smart enough to keep his emotions in check. I knew I was being unfair. Frankly, the vehemence of my hatred scared me…but it was a displaced kind of fear, at the very bottom of my heart, where I could conveniently forget about it.

Something flickered through the icy blue eyes, and the officer faltered before giving us a hesitant smile. "Ah, you two…yes, you were here in the autumn, weren't you? Something about a magical…flame-throwing device or sorts? What can I do for you?" It was me and Genrou he was talking to, though I noticed he gave Sai a perturbed look. 

__

He knows something. He knew something then, and he knows something now. He knows we're connected somehow, even if he doesn't know why or how. 

Apparently, Myojuan sensed this, as well. "I think you know I don't mean that. Nakago."

__

He's trying to push him into remembering. Trying to find a mental button, or something…

The man's eyes widened, and he stood up slowly. "Now, look," he said calmly, "I don't know what you four want, but just watch where you step. This is a police station, and you're fools if you think you can get away with…"

"We don't want to hurt you," Sai interrupted, soothing with a touch of steel. "We need to talk to you."

Again, the uncomfortable flicker in his eyes. "If it's about what happened last fall…what, you want me to get somebody off again?" The officer had dropped his voice to a murmur, perhaps wary of anyone else who might be listening in. He shook his head. "Sorry. That…was a fluke. A one-time thing…hell, I can't explain it. You guys are damn lucky. But don't think for a second that you have 'connections' in the PD, because I don't work like that, get me? That time was…"

"Fuck, man, ya wanna shut up for three seconds?" Genrou growled. 

__

About time. I THOUGHT he'd been strangely quiet.

"If ya fuckin shut your mouth and give us time to fuckin explain shit, you'll know we're not here to ask you any goddamn favors!" my friend continued.

"Tasuki," murmured Myojuan, "I fear that isn't exactly the way in which one would want to speak to a policeman."

Sai met the man's eyes, unflinching, his face cool and imperial. "Please. It's important."

"Very well; fine, then," said Nakago Incarnate, crossing his arms solidly and giving us a steady look. "You want to talk to me? Then talk." 

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TBC…

Sorry if it's too sappy/too dramatic/bad. ^_^() 

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YET ANOTHER STORY AKUGI:

Genrou: I think he's a seishi. Now that we've been seishi long enough to recognize the goddamn seishi linkage feelin, I think…he might be worth checkin out.

(_Half an hour later, at the police station…_)

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Genrou: Heyyy, lookin good, man! You work out? Yeah, I'd take you home any time!

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Nakago: --;;

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Ryuuen: I knew it!! I _knew _you were gay!!

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Kouji: What??? Genrou's gay?

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Houjun: He _is, _no da??!??

(_Kouji and Houjun start preening_)

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Ryuuen: ^_^()

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Genrou: --;;;;;;;;;;;; Care to talk to me in private, Ryuu-chan?

YET ANOTHER STORY AKUGI: TAKE TWO!! ****

Ryuuen: **narrating** Ashitare had been a puppet. Nakago had been the Jim Henson of Kutou.

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Nakago: **sitting in a swamp and strumming a banjo** Why are there so many songs about rainbows…

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All: **die**


	11. The Blank Slate

Disclaimer: --; ****

Warnings: Shounen ai, Tasuki language, melodrama, philosophical nerdiness.

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Notes: Hiiiii!! Ahhh, I'm sorry I haven't posted more frequently! ^^;; Anyway…here's more Y.A.S., hope you guys like it. ^^;;

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Special Note: Mouse-chan is going to work on Sunday, June 2nd! I don't know how much I'll be able to write before then, but hopefully, I'll get at least another chapter out… I can never be sure about the writing situation, though, so just in case, here's the 411: starting this Sunday, I'm going to be working at a camp. That means I'll be gone for a month and a half with little or no computer access. **cries** Which, naturally, means I won't be posting anything during that time. But you can be sure I'll be writing during whatever free time I have! And you guys can write to me, if you want! I'll even write back! If you want to write me a letter and brighten my day, email me and I'll hook you up with my camp address. ^__^ Anyway, just thought y'all might wanna know. ^_^

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YET ANOTHER STORY

Chapter Eleven:

The Blank Slate

We stared at the yellow-haired police sergeant who'd just told us to talk, and collectively realized that we had no idea what in the name of the Four Gods and their respective tails we were going to say. Planning in this instance had been relatively nonexistent, at least in an ensemble kind of way, as I think we had all been too preoccupied with our own thoughts to really formulate anything solid. Personally, I felt that grabbing him by the neck and physically forcing his past into his head seemed like a pretty good idea.

Apparently, though, Myojuan had different, more civilized ideas. 

"We've met before," he said, still calm. "Do you remember?" It amazed me that he could keep control of himself when confronting someone like this, the man who had caused so much destruction…At first, I admired him for it, but then…I started feeling angry. This was _Nakago_, after all!! Why were we treating him with any respect at _all_?? He didn't deserve this sort of gentleness, not from us, not from the very people he had hurt the most!

Nakago did not move, arms still folded across his broad chest. He gave my friend a measured look before responding. "I've known many people over the course of my life, as one might imagine. It's possible that we've met, but no, I don't remember."

"You're lying," I said under my breath. "You recognize us." I know I shouldn't have said anything, but it felt like I would swell up and explode if I didn't; his icy eyes shifted to me, and I had to force myself not to cringe. Make no mistake, the guy was intimidating.

"I've already said as much. You and Mr. Kou were here in October. Your friend, though, I can't say I've encountered. I don't mean to be rude, but I _do _have work to do, so if you people could ask me whatever it is you would like to ask me, it would be appreciated."

"That's not what I meant," I shot back, despite Sai's anxious tugging on my arm, trying to get me to stop. "You looked at Sai and you recognized him, I _know _you did; which is only common courtesy, I suppose, since you killed him."

He raised pale, slender eyebrows at me.

__

Ohhhhh, bravo, Ryuuen. Well done, indeed. YA PSYCHO FREAK!!!! What the hell'd you have to go and say that for??? "You killed him?" What the hell is Sai, then, the living dead??? 

"Ryuuen," said Sai in a low voice, in a tone that plainly said, "Step away from the conversation before you hurt yourself."

"I honestly haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about," Nakago said, and I hated the fact that he, too, could remain calm through all this, and I could not. "I'm very sorry. Now, if you'll excuse me, I really think you all ought to…"

Then came the laughter, blunt and mirthless and dangerous, making us all turn to search for its source. I don't know exactly why, but it sent shivers up my spine when I found that it was coming from my best friend.

When I turned to see him, Gen-chan was shaking his head, eyes closed, still laughing; when we had all fallen silent, he raised his eyes to Nakago's, and they seemed to glow with hatred.

"Lucky you," he said with false affability. "If what you say is true, you got the fuckin sweet end of the sucker, _sucker_. Fuckin kill all those people and not even fuckin acknowledge it, no memories to haunt ya, so you claim, you fuckin bastard. You really fuckin lucked out, didn't you?"

"If you all leave immediately, we'll forget this ever happened," our enemy stated coolly. "That's a lot more than you would get with another…"

"Not gonna happen, motherfucker," Gen-chan spat, the fake humor gone. "There are better people than you who remember every little fuckin piece of wrong they ever did, and they're still suffering for it! Better people than you remember all the fuckin torture you put them through, so don't you fuckin tell me you don't remember doin it, cuz there ain't no justice in the entire fuckin universe if it's true!" 

"Tasuki," growled Myojuan, a gentle rumble that somehow seemed to pierce through the shouting.

"Please," said Sai, his voice still even, one hand wrapped around my arm, "I know we aren't approaching this well, but please understand, it's on rather short notice. It's urgent. We need your help; we need you, Seiryuu no Shichiseishi Nakago."

Nakago glared. "You insist on calling me that. If that's who you're looking for, then you're in the wrong place."

"It's you," Sai rebutted, in that same smooth-but-firm tone. "I know it sounds insane, but please…you have to listen to us. You were the head general of a country called Kutou; you were also a chosen servant of Seiryuu, the Dragon God of the East."

The yellow-haired man shook his head, keeping his eyes straight. "I don't know what you're talking about. I repeat, leave now, or I _will _have you arrested."

"Why did you let Genrou go, then?" I exclaimed, furious at his stubbornness, too wrapped up in that emotion to remember that if it had been anyone else, I would completely understand the skepticism. "Why did you let him go, without any questions at all, if you didn't remember who he had been? You knew how he started that fire, _didn't_ you?? You knew it was him…but you let him go! You let him go…"

__

He let him go! Nakago let him go… He's NOT the same person he was back then! If he was, he wouldn't care if Gen-chan got locked away for a hundred years! He sensed that connection between us, and…

No. No; this is the man who killed Hotohori-sama. This is the man who tried to rape Miaka, who turned Tama-chan against us and sent Amiboshi to stop the summoning of Suzaku and manipulated Yui-chan and… 

__

I hate him. I hate this man.

I reminded myself of that fact as I watched him, my fists clenched along with my jaw; I felt a dull pain in both palms, but ignored it, kept my eyes glued to him in case he tried anything. I had no idea what he was capable of; I'd never met him face to face, when we were both alive. 

He was good-looking, I guess, if you went for that sort of thing. He was tall, only a few inches shorter than Myojuan, with a long, pale face and yellowish hair cut short; his eyes were sky blue and red around the rims, as if he had spent the day reading. 

They weren't evil eyes. They were hard and unwavering, but not evil, and I desperately _wanted _them to be evil. I wanted to hate him, and I wanted to have a good reason to do so. Most of me knew that I shouldn't, that I had given Kaen a second chance after learning about their past affiliations. True, it was a new life, like Sai had said back at the house. A new life meant new circumstances, and new circumstances, if one were to follow the logic of John Locke, would mean Nakago was _not _the same person he'd been in the book.*

But he shared the same soul as that person. And therefore, he had the _potential_ to be as evil as he'd ever been before. He was dangerous, and we needed to watch him carefully.

He still hadn't said anything in response to the reminder of the whole thing with Genrou, and I took that as a good sign. He knew something was up, all right; for a split second, his eyes had flickered again with memory and uncertainty. But then, infuriatingly, he shook his head again. "There's no way he could have started that fire from that distance…"

"But you know he did," said Sai. "You might not understand how you know, but you do."

"So stop with the fuckin denial," Gen-chan growled.

"No," said Nakago firmly, as if trying to convince himself that his instincts were wrong. "No. You're really wearing my patience thin." He moved a hand over his desk, and I realized he was heading toward a smooth, red button…maybe some kind of intercom, maybe an alarm, to alert any other policemen who might be there of our presence. "Either you get the hell out, and take your insane bullshit with you, or…"

What happened next was almost too quick for me to understand. One moment, the sergeant was hovering over the button; the next, there was a curse-like roar, and Genrou had zipped across the room and socked him in the face. Nakago's head snapped back with the force of it, surprise etched on his face; he couldn't have seen Gen-chan coming, not with that Seishi Speed of his. Raising his hands to defend himself from another blow, there was a sudden burst of blue…and something like a smooth, round, blue fireball burst forth from the policeman's palms. It slammed directly into my best friend's chest, sending him flying across the room and ramming him against the cement wall with a sickening crunch. I was so surprised, I couldn't even scream when I saw Genrou's body, crushed and burned and bleeding, slide to the ground.

__

What the hell was that???!! What happened? Gen-chan…Gen-chan!!!! 

Oh god, I think he's dead…look, look at his neck, he hit that wall just the wrong way, he's dead…

I started wheezing in panic, tried to race over to his side, but Sai held me back, sturdy as a tree; he shoved me behind him and kept himself facing Nakago. I didn't look at either of them. All I saw was the blood running from the corner of Genrou's mouth in a thick, dark line, running down to wash over those silly bead necklaces he always wore, staining them, clotting around them; the awkward angle of his neck, his head hanging limply to one side; the tatters of his shirt over his burned chest…I could smell cloth and skin and blood burning, and my stomach heaved, and I probably would have thrown up if I would have eaten anything. His eyes had slid shut…and then Myojuan's back was between us, blocking my view; I wanted to grab Sai's arm and pry myself free, but I couldn't move. I couldn't do anything.

__

Gen-chan…don't be dead. Don't let him kill you, too; don't let him…

Is that how he killed Hotohori-sama? 

I was vaguely aware of footsteps, of strange voices shouting questions, the click of metal. And then Nakago's voice, which I recognized, saying something firm…and the footsteps paused, then retreated; more voices, fading away…and then Myojuan stepped back, and I broke free of Sai's hold.

Gen-chan was still on the ground, and I fell roughly to my knees beside him; his forehead was creased, but the blood was gone…the burns were gone, even his clothes were clean…well, as clean as they ever were, anyway.

__

Myojuan healed him; thank God, thank God, he's okay…he's okay…

"Fuck," he groaned, wincing as he rubbed the side of his neck, and I put my arms around him shakily, unable to do much else. Patting my head clumsily, he let out a sigh. "Fuck, Ryuuen…I'm okay. Don't fuckin start cryin again, okay? I'm okay."

I nodded, making myself swallow the fear that had surrounded my heart—which was beating about ten times faster than normal—and turning to look at Sai and Nakago.

The former shogun of Kutou had one hand to his forehead, and was studying the other in confused trepidation. Even as I watched, I saw the hand tremble, and he slowly closed it into a fist; when he removed the hand from his brow, letting his arm fall to his side, there was a gentle blue glow coming from his forehead, exactly the place where Tamahome had _his _symbol. He remained staring at his fist for a long while before raising his eyes. They were horrified.

"I…" he said hoarsely. "I didn't…"

__

He looks…he looks like he's…scared! Him?? Nakago??

"He's fine," Sai said gently, referring to Gen-chan, of course. "It was a reflex. That's all. Not your fault."

Nakago took a breath, and I could see him trying to process everything, his eyebrows lowering into a worried frown. The hand returned to his forehead, resting there as if he had a headache. "I'm sorry, I don't know how I…"

__

He seems so lost…He really wanted to believe it was all a coincidence, he really wanted to forget about letting Gen-chan go…

Wait…

Am I feeling SORRY for this guy?!??!?! I can't! I can't do that; he's the one who…Because of him, we all…

"Fuck, man," Gen-chan muttered. "You're fuckin shakin…ya look like shit. _You _okay?" It took me longer than it should've to realize he was talking to me, and when I finally did, I gave a quick nod; Sai had taken a step toward Nakago, who still looked confused, and set a hand on his shoulder.

"Come with us," he said. "You can't pretend it didn't happen; we can explain things, maybe fill in some memories for you…all right?"

"I can't," was his automatic reply. He sounded distant, detached…like he wasn't really there. "I can't just leave. I have to stay here, it's my job." 

Sai looked at him for a moment, then nodded. Stepping over to the desk, he took one of the black and gold pens from a coffee cup full of them, tore off a yellow post-it note from a nearby stack, and scrawled something on it. He handed it to Nakago, who accepted it rather dazedly.

"Whenever you're done with work, please come see us. Something very important has transpired, and we need you…what's your name, sir?"

The man tore his eyes from the paper, fixing Sai with a slightly hesitant, sheepish smile. "Ayuru," he said, dream-like. "Ayuru Gi."

~*~

I fell asleep in the car on the way home. Myojuan had been exhausted from the healing, and had needed the support of his own patient while walking back to the car; so, Sai had insisted on driving home. I'd needed a fair amount of help myself; I was tired and getting over being terrified for Gen-chan's life and confused about whether I should open my mind to Nakago or not, and my stomach felt like it was eating itself. I didn't want anyone to help me, but Sai, of course, didn't listen.

I awoke maybe two minutes away from the house to find that, although I had been all the way over on the left-hand side of the back seat, I had somehow scooted to the middle and was now cuddling up to Gen-chan. How the _hell _had _that _happened??!?! I didn't remember moving at _all_!! Maybe it was some sort of magnet thing in me. Always gotta find _someone _to cuddle. Gahh, I'm such a freak.

Gen-chan, for his part, had adopted a "grin-and-bear-it" policy. Okay, so he wasn't exactly grinning; it was more like a grimace. 

I weighed the situation in my mind. If I let him know I was awake, he'd be pretty embarrassed, I thought. I don't know what the difference would be, but for some reason, he'd get all gruff and pretend he was just about to shove me across the car, or something. If I pretended I was still asleep, then he'd think I didn't know about the somnambulistic hugging that had been going on, and he'd take me in and everything would be fine. BUT. If he took me in, he'd have to carry me! And that would be weird…well, naturally, I wouldn't mind it if I were asleep, but I wouldn't know better. 

Therefore.

The thing to do, I decided, was to get Sai to carry me. That way, I could "wake up" immediately, and no one would be embarrassed: me because I could wake up before the actual _carrying _took place, Sai because he was my _boyfriend_, and Genrou because he will have thought I was asleep and didn't know about the glomping.

But how the heck was I going to make sure that Sai tried to pick me up?!

Maybe Gen-chan would call for Sai automatically! That would work nicely, I thought.

However, when we pulled into the garage, Genrou—grumbling a little—looped his arm around me and went through the Just-About-To-Pick-Me-Up motions. Not knowing how else to avoid it, I decided to take drastic action. 

My eyes still shut, hoping he'd believe I was still asleep, I squirmed away. "Saiiiii…" I said in a faux-sleepy voice, hoping my friend would take the hint.

__

Aww, you're so freakin cute, I said to myself wryly, unamused by my own tactics. But hey, ends vs. means here, thank you, Mr. Machiavelli. 

However, the bricks in Gen-chan's head were apparently more plentiful than usual, because he only let out a small curse and tried again. Mildly irritated, I reached out a "sleepy" arm and swatted him this time, and made my "Saaaiii!" a little whinier.

"Gahhh!" he said grumpily as I whacked him in the face, and dove back in for a third attempt. More than a bit put out at this—I mean, get a clue, Gen-chan!! What did I have to do, send him a memo??—I really let him have it this time, lashing out with my foot and colliding neatly with his stomach, sending him crashing into something… probably the wall of the garage. 

__

Oops.

"Genrou? What are you _doing_?" Sai asked, incredulity in his voice.

Ranting something about binding me hand and foot, I heard Genrou's (loud) footsteps stomp over to the door. I winced a little at the accident, but managed to appear like I was just waking up as I felt Sai approach my door.

__

Ahh, you're so evil.

"Hi," he said quietly as I sat up.

"Hi," I replied, yawning. It wasn't a fake yawn, either. Less than three hours of sleep, no food, and emotional trauma did not a lively Ryuu-chan make. 

"Pizza sound good to you?"

__

Pizza…mmmmmm…melted cheese, tomato sauce, grease and salt and ohhhhhh, yummmm… My stomach growled, twisting up until it really started to hurt; I wrapped an arm around myself and smiled sheepishly at the noise it made. "Breadsticks, buffalo wings, and chocolate cake into the bargain?" I suggested, only half kidding.

He chuckled, offering me his hand. "Are you intending to challenge Miaka to an eating contest?"

"I feel like I could kick her butt at the moment," I admitted, letting him pull me up easily. He laughed again, his arm around my shoulder as we headed toward the door. 

"Sai?" I said quietly as he reached for the doorknob.

"Hm?"

"Do you think N… Do you think Ayuru will really come?" I wondered what would happen if he didn't, if he was too scared, or something. Not having his power on our side was one thing, but what if Miboshi tried to get him, too, and succeeded? I still wasn't sure what to make of the guy, still trying to reconcile his past and present in my mind…but I did know that we needed him. 

Sai held the door open for me, ushering me into the warmth of the house. "I hope he comes," he sighed. "I hope he does. But there's no way of knowing, really, is there? We'll just have to cross our fingers…"

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TBC…..

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*Philosophical Lesson of the Day: John Locke (1632-1704) was an English philosopher who denied the insinuation that humans were born with certain innate ideas; he argued that the mind at birth was like a blank slate, and experience determined what ideas we had, etc. This also applies to the question of whether men are born good or evil; according to Locke, the answer is neither: such a thing is determined by the experiences they have throughout their lives. (Pretty logical, ne?) SO, therefore, since Nakago Incarnate did not (presumably) deal with the same abuse/trauma/etc. as his former life, he wouldn't share the same personality as Nakago The First.

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Rousseau: No, no, no! It's a lie! Human beings are born _good_! It is the eeeeeeevil of the world that corrupts them!

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Mouse-chan: **pats him on the back** Okay, okay, Jean-Jacques. I know. And to an extent, I agree with you. 

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Rousseau: But you appear to have sided with the unaffiliated Englishman over there. **sniff** I feel so betrayed.

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Mouse-chan: Look; let's just go to a café and argue about the education system, okay?

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Rousseau: **sniff** Very well…but I'd really rather go to your place to watch some anime.

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Mouse-chan: Ehhh…really?

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Rousseau: Indeed. I'm a great fan of Gundam Wing. **brings out his Gundam Deathscythe Hell Custom action figure and flies it around the room** Wahahahaha!!

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Mouse-chan: ~.^;;;;;;;;; 

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Voltaire: **raises hand** Ooh! Ooh! I like Zechs Merquise!

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Diderot: Boo! Royalist scum!! Long Live Quatre!

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Voltaire: It's just a show, Denis. It doesn't mean I have changed my views on life.

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Diderot: Ah, go satirize something.

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Nuriko: **coming in with a tray of cookies** Maaa, maaaa…everyone calm down! There will be no discussion of revolutionary ideals until Gundam Wing is over!


	12. Beautiful

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Disclaimers: Ich spreche keine Englisch.

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Warnings: Sap! Shounen ai! Sap! Shounen ai! Sap! Random dancing! Sap! Genrou swearing! Sap! Reeeeeeeally lame chapter title! Sap! ^^;;;;

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Notes: Woohoo!! I finished another chapter before I have to leave! But, alas, leave I must, come Sunday morning. Thanks to all who said they'd write! **hugs** I'm gonna miss you all…but really, a month and a half isn't _thaaaaaaaat _long… ^^;; Really. Anyway. This chapter is, er…pretty pointless, really. But it was fun. ^__^;; Don't drown in the sap! 

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YET ANOTHER STORY

Chapter 12:

Beautiful

We stepped into the house to find Gen-chan waiting for us, standing by the wall and looking pissed, his arms folded across his chest. Sai asked him what was wrong, and he shoved a piece of paper in his face.

"Fuckin Houjun and his goddamn posse left already! Did they call? _Fuck_, no! Did they wait for us to fuckin get back and talk to 'em before they fuckin drove off to fuckin _Wisconsin_?? _Fuckin hell, _no!!"

Although my heart sank with the knowledge that the others had already gone, I covered my mouth to hide my smirk. Gen-chan, minus the obscenities, was acting like my mom; however, I felt it would have been unwise to point out such a thing at that moment.

Sai read the note patiently, nodding. "It's good that they left. The longer we stay here, the less time we'll have to find the other Seiryuu, and the more time Miboshi will go uncontested." Gen-chan spluttered a bit at this, but Sai was right. He was always right.

I stumbled around the main floor to find Myojuan and ask him what kind of frozen pizza he wanted, and found him out cold in one of the armchairs in the den. I never really knew healing took so much out of him; well, scratch that. I did know. _Nuriko _knew. But the only other time I'd seen him heal someone, I'd been—surprise—too panicked to really notice that he'd probably looked more run-down than the rest of us.

__

Great friend, aren't I? I didn't even notice.

"Ryuuen!" Sai called from the kitchen. "Do you want an apple or something to eat while the pizza cooks?" 

"Shit, man, that's right! You didn't have anything today except that fuckin soda," Genrou reminded me kindly, forgetting to rant about the others leaving in favor of lecturing me about male anorexia. He wasn't serious; I think he was actually grasping for straws, trying not to remind me _why _I hadn't eaten anything. But I tuned him out when I remembered that Sai had been with me almost constantly since this morning, and I hadn't seen _him _eat, either. 

I watched my boyfriend for a while, reading the pizza's cooking instructions as intently as he might read an article on Russian foreign policy, and wondered how I could possibly love someone so much. I loved him so much that it made me want to cry, which is highly illogical, to say the least. After he put the food in the oven and wiped his hands on a towel (_never _on his pants, like me…not _my _Sai!), I went over and hugged him, just because he was him.

"Love you, Sai," I murmured against his chest, closing my eyes. His arms went around me, holding me close against him, and I…

"_Fuck_," Genrou complained. "Man, I'm goin in the other room if you're gonna be like that! Mits is fuckin comatose, but at least he's not gonna fuckin drown me in his fuckin lovey-dovey sap!"

"Genrou," said Sai good-naturedly, squeezing me, "leave us alone."

My best friend lingered there for a moment, staring at us blankly before turning on his heel and leaving the kitchen. I giggled at his sudden submission.

Sai, meanwhile, had made no move to let me go, and I was content to keep it that way. My eyelids were growing heavier and heavier, and if we hadn't both been standing up, I think I probably would've fallen asleep right there. After a few minutes of peaceful hugging, he cleared his throat and said, "Hmm…I thought I'd spend the night on the couch, since I'm _very _tired, and it's actually more comfortable than the bed. Would you be interested in joining me?"

I paused, letting this sink in, and smiled.

__

Oh, Sai…you awful liar. You're only suggesting the couch because you know I can't use the bed, aren't you? I love you, I love you, I love you so much…

"Mm-hmm," I replied, nodding into his chest, and we were silent for a while longer, listening to Genrou watch TV in the other room. With a slight ache in my heart, I realized I'd almost forgotten about Chuin with everything that had happened: whacking Taiitsukun, discovering Nakago…it seemed like the day had lasted forever. But one mention of bed, and it all came flooding back. I tightened my arms slightly around Sai, certain that it was him, and if I stayed with him all the time, then…

__

Ahhh, stop it; stop stop stop stop stop stop stop, moron! Don't even go there. Don't…even…go there. It's over. It's done. You were over this all day! You were over it! 

But I wasn't over it. It wasn't nearly as strong as it had been in the morning, but it was still there, like an annoying mosquito in my head. 

It wasn't the fact that I might have been raped if I hadn't opened my eyes that bothered me, because I _hadn't _been raped, and it barely qualified as close. What really scared me was the whole illusion element. They'd said that it was okay, because Tomo was the only one of the Seiryuu who could change his shape like that, and he'd been apprehended. But what if they were wrong? What if others had figured out how to do it, or Miboshi taught them how, or something?

Then, jarring me from my worries, Sai started humming something…something that sounded like…

…_The…um…why's he humming The Nutcracker?_

I blinked, wondering at the sudden musical interlude; he started swaying back and forth in time with his humming, taking me along with him, and I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. Before I could say anything, he had wrapped an arm around my waist, grabbed my hand in his, and had begun waltzing me around the room like some Disney heroine in drag. His was "da"-ing along to the song now, his face playfully serious, a parody of a serious Victorian nobleman at a fancy dress ball (with his, ehehehe, male dancing partner). We spun past the fridge, around the island in the center of the kitchen, round and round like a whirligig…and pretty soon, once I had gotten over my surprise, despite my tiredness, I was laughing out loud as we danced. He was laughing, too, a deep chuckle that started in his chest; eventually, when we were both too dizzy to keep going for much longer, he lifted me a few inches off the ground and twirled me once or twice before slowing to a halt. 

We were both laughing and panting a little, and I collapsed against him again, once more feeling the hunger pangs spread through my stomach. But I ignored them, preferring Sai to food in this instance.

"Well!" I declared. "_That _was…unexpected!"

He chuckled some more. "I'm the one who told you you used to be an ancient Chinese crossdresser, and the _dance _was unexpected?"

"You have a point."

"I think we all should go to bed early tonight, right after dinner," he continued, changing the subject randomly. "Myojuan is exhausted…you look like you're about to pass out…"

"'M'not, Sai."

"Yes, I know, I know," he said rather teasingly, patting me on the back. "And since we're leaving tomorrow—because we _have _to, you know—it would be good to get a full night's sleep."

"What about…what about Nakago? What if he comes by, and we're all asleep?"

"I'll put the phone right by the couch," he said, "and if the doorbell rings, I'll hear it. It's happened before; I've fallen asleep in front of the television, and the doorbell has woken me up. And he might not even come; I don't think we should stay up all night waiting for him, waste all that energy, and have him not even show up."

"Sai…"

"Hm?"

I swallowed. "When we were at the station…I hated him. Nakago. I really, truly hated him."

Bringing his hand up, he stroked my hair. "You feel bad about it, don't you?"

__

I swear, sometimes I think he's a telepath.

"I guess…I've never really hated anyone before. Well…my third grade teacher came close, and I'm not too fond of Hitler. But I don't normally hate people, _especially _people I've never met, and people who haven't really done anything wrong…in this life, anyway. It's just, I'm…It's confusing, Sai! He killed you, he killed Myojuan… I remember all these things, but all of a sudden, he's different. He's not Nakago; he's _Ayuru_. He let Gen-chan go after the fire…and even though he sent that fireball thing at Gen-chan today, he didn't mean to! I mean, he _apologized_, for crying out loud! And I know Miboshi hasn't gotten him yet, because if he'd been in tune with his former seishiness, he probably would've tried to kill us on the spot, right? And he wouldn't've let himself look so lost after he fried Gen-chan, would he?"

"It's confusing," Sai agreed. "But he's not the same. Rebirth can change people, sweetheart, and Ayuru has definitely been changed."

"It's weird, though," I sighed. 

"You don't hate him. You just hate the things he did."

I leaned back in his arms, fixing him with narrow eyes. "You've been talking to my mom, _haven't _you?"

"Yes," he said. "I told her I'm _madly_ in love with her second son, that I plan on spending the rest of my life with him, and that I shall buy him enough socks to fill a small cruise ship…and, _my_, but that's an interesting color you're turning; is that considered fuchsia, darling, or mauve?"

I felt my face darken even more, and leaned forward to hide my face in his shirt. "Mmmfhhh."

"I'll have to move you into the living room. You match the curtains there." He played with my hair affectionately, a slight tremor of laughter in his voice. Pulling back, he kissed me gently, still trying to avoid the bruise on my lip, and stared into my eyes with the kind of unconditional adoration I'd only ever received from Sai. My own eyes were rather glazed over with love of their own, peering into his and welcoming the return of the Love-Him-So-Much-I'll-Cry feeling spreading through my body, filling me throughout.

__

Just hope my heart doesn't explode, or something…

"You're beautiful," he murmured, all teasing gone from his face and tone.

I blinked stupidly, slowly placing a hand to my burning cheek. "Umm…" my eyes trailed to the side, and I bowed my head. "Um, Sai…you're not really helping the face thing…"

But he wouldn't be stopped that easily. He touched my chin lightly with his fingers, tilting it up so that I looked at him again; the golden eyes regarded me intently, shining. "I mean it," he said softly. "Beautiful. The most beautiful person I have ever known, or ever will know."

"Ooooookayyyyyyy," I laughed nervously, trying to get him to change the subject—_I wonder if I can get a sunburn from the inside?_—and took a deep breath to inquire after the status of our dinner. But he stopped me quite effectively by kissing me again, and I…well…I suppose "melted" would be the technical term for it. I closed my eyes and leaned into…

"God-fuckin-_dammit_!!" exclaimed Gen-chan. "You're not fuckin _done _yet??!"

Without removing his lips from mine, Sai reached behind him to grab something from the counter—"something" turned out to be an Asiago cheese bagel—and throw it right at Gen-chan. The action was soon followed by a satisfying thunking sound as it bounced off of my friend's head. I immediately started laughing at the stunned look on his face, making the bruised side of my mouth hurt, but only a little. Laughing pretty much ended the kiss, unfortunately, but Sai hugged me anyway, beaming.

"I'm glad you think I'm a fuckin good source of free entertainment," Gen-chan huffed, glowering.

"Aw, Gen-chan," I cooed, "we love you, too."

"Not like _that_, you don't," he accused, pointing a finger at us. 

We both raised an eyebrow at him.

"Well, fuck," he grumbled. "Don't just fuckin stand there staring at me. Go on, if you wanna fuckin kiss, then _kiss_, for cryin out loud…just don't ignore the fuckin food when it's done! No way I'm eatin fuckin burned pizza!" 

And he turned and left again, just like that. Man, is he weird sometimes. As I giggled at his retreating back, I felt a hand on my face, and soon discovered that Sai had every intention of listening to Gen-chan's instructions.

__

Ehehehehehe.

~*~

After eating as much pizza as I could, growing warmer and sleepier with every bite, I opted for another shower, just because…well…I don't really know. I honestly wasn't still stressing over Chuin, but…I just…had to. Sai came upstairs with me without even asking, and I was too relieved to protest.

It took less time this time, which was a good thing, definitely. We had collectively decided to camp out in the den—ultimately because of me, though it had been Sai's idea—because we'd decided it was a good idea to keep together, in case anything should happen. No one complained about sleeping on the couches, maybe in part because Sai hadn't been lying when he'd said they were more comfortable than regular beds.

I put on flannel pajamas and my fuzzy frog socks, and Sai grabbed blankets and pillows from the linen closet to take downstairs. Myojuan, who had done little in the way of nightly preparation save removing his shoes, was snoring in the gray armchair; Gen-chan had curled himself up in the other recliner, sitting dangerously close to the television, flipping through channels until he found either America's Funniest Animals or The Cosby Show.

Sai handed Gen-chan a blanket, and I helped him drape one over Myojuan, feeling like somebody's mom. Then, wrapping an arm around me, he ushered me to the soft, gray, _very _inviting couch, and spotted me as I climbed on (what, like I'd fall?? But it was sweet, so oh well). My eyes slid shut as soon as my back came into contact with that of the sofa; Sai, clad in his usual undershirt and boxers for bed, crawled up beside me and covered us both with a blue woolen blanket and a down quilt.

"Can you breathe?" he asked, quietly jovial, as I pressed up against him, snuggling.

__

Sai…this is Sai.

"Yeah," I whispered. Whatever fears I might have had, whatever panic might have seized me…Sai made them all go away. Just by being there, just by being _him_… loving me, not abandoning me…he made me feel safe. 

"I love you, Ryuuen Chou," he said, holding me closer to him.

I shivered with happiness. "I love you, too…always have."

And as I felt the much-needed sleep overtake me, listening to my boyfriend's deep, even breathing…a charming, dulcet voice crept across the silence of the den, pricking gently into my ears just before I drifted off…

"Gahhh…what fuckin gay soap opera did you guys _come_ from, _anyway_?!"

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TBC…

Notes: Ehhhhhh…interesting ending, I guess… ^^;;;;;;;;;; I thought I'd be nice and _not _have a major cliffhanger, ehehe. Anyhoo. I hope no one is now dead from sap overdose. ^^;; And you know what I just realized??!?! The past EIGHT CHAPTERS have taken place on the same DAY!!! O.o;;;;; Weird!! Anywayyyyyyy, I hope you guys liked it. Thanks for reading!! **wave** I'll see you all when I get back! Have fun!

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YET ANOTHER STORY AKUGI!!!

Sai: I love you, Ryuuen Chou!

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Ryuuen: I love you, too…er…. ^^;;;

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Sai: …???

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Ryuuen: What the hell is your last name?!?!?!?

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Sai: --;;;

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	13. Coffee with Nakago

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Warnings: Shoooooooooooooounen aaaaaaaaaaaaai. Not much sap in this one, though. Coffee. Coffee condiments fitted to literary stereotypes. (??!?! What???) Bad bandit language. Armpits. Five seishi who have not yet showered. Dirty dishes. Psychological musings. **nod**

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Notes: Ahhhhhhhhhh, here you are, everybody. ^_^;; More Yas. Hehe. I finally took the hint and did more. Hope this is okay. ^_^ Have fun, everybody! 

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YET ANOTHER STORY

Chapter Thirteen:

Coffee with Nakago

When I woke up, I had a vague memory of calling out in my sleep, crying out Sai's name, begging him to help me; I had an even vaguer memory of Sai being there, whispering customary words of comfort into my ear for who knows how long. I wasn't really sure if it had been a dream or not. I had awakened to a mouthful of Sai's armpit, which could either imply that it had been real, or it had been just a natural progression of bodies in sleep…or…whatever; yeah, something like that. I had visions, too, of lustful yellow eyes staring at me…and I shuddered involuntarily. So maybe I _had _had a dream…it certainly wouldn't be abnormal, after all, after my less than pleasant experience the previous evening. 

__

Well, I thought, _at least I'm not dreaming about Ashitare anymore._

Ah, my accursed optimism. Out of the frying pan and into the fire; so I'm not dreaming of _dying, _gruesomely and painfully! Instead, I've replaced it with a nightmare of someone with my boyfriend's face trying to rape me! 

And…and succeeding!

__

Aaaaghh, Christ!! He did, didn't he? He actually…AHHHH, dream, dream, go away! I don't want you!! I don't need to be any more messed up! Ashitare, COME BAAAACK!! PLEEEEASE???!! 

Groaning in displeasure, I stuffed my nose further into Sai…but then quickly realized that, as much as I loved him and everything about him, there was only _so much _body odor I could take. So, trying not to wake him, I extracted my nose from his…er… joint, and gently lifted his arm from around my waist. He made the most adorable little sleepy noise as I placed his hand under his chin, and I had to clench my teeth in a smile to keep from laughing and waking him up. _A little dose of Sai is all anyone needs to keep their minds off their troubles_, I thought as I hopped over the back of the couch.

The relative chill of the room in comparison to the warmth of my boyfriend-slash-surrogate bed was enough to make my arms break out in goosebumps, and I crossed them over my chest as I headed into the kitchen, my bare feet padding over the chilly tiles. As I grew more and more awake, the dream of Chuin/Sai-clone actually _doing _what he'd set out to do faded a bit, and I sighed in relief. Not that I really remembered much of it, anyway, but the basic idea…

__

Stop stop stop, stop right nowwwwww! Go get busy; DO something, don't just sit around and think!!! 

The annoying voice was absolutely right; I had to do something. So I grabbed the first thing that came to mind, which happened to be the dirty dishes from the previous day, and started to wash. Miaka, it seemed, had left us a few gifts in that area, including an empty container of Cool Whip, an angelfood cake pan that _had _been full, a cylindrical piece of cardboard that had once held chocolate frosting, a plateful of chicken remnants, and a saucepan half full of rice. 

It's amazing how hard it is to get congealed rice off of a saucepan. It gets all hard and sticky, and ya just can't get it off. Even with my added power and a Dobie sponge, I succeeded in rubbing a hole through the pan before the damn rice came off. It made the joint in my elbow hurt from scrubbing so long…and I got soap in my eye and congealed rice in my hair…but it made me stop thinking, so I didn't mind so much. 

I had finally given up and tossed the pan with the hole in it into the garbage can, when the doorbell rang, and I froze.

Now. Doorbells do not generally make the Top Ten List of Things That Make Your Heart Race. But all I could think about was the last time I'd opened the door, when it had been Chuin and I hadn't known and everything got all messed up… So I just stood there, afraid to move although I kept telling myself I was dumb for being afraid, and that Chuin was with Chichiri and he couldn't come back, no way…but my legs just wouldn't work, having altered their physical composition to some gelatin-like substance, and whoever it was at the door had to wait and wait. 

When I heard stirring in the next room and footsteps on the floor, heading in my direction, a wave of relief washed over me. Again saved from my own incompetence. Sai stuck his head in the kitchen with a sleepy, rather muddled look on his face and said, "…Ryuuen? Did the doorbell ring?"

I nodded. He turned to go open it, and I hurried to his side, because if anything creepy came through that door, there was no way I was gonna let it get Sai. I tugged on his arm to hold it, and he chuckled and wrapped it around my shoulders, instead. 

"Good morning," he said softly, but his smile faded to a frown. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," I said with a somewhat shaky grin, and even though I could tell he knew something was up, he reached for the doorknob, and I tensed. 

He dropped his hand and looked at me, his expression a slight bit sad, but understanding. "Ryuuen," he said, "it's all right. It's not going to happen again."

I flushed to my roots, embarrassed that he could read me so well, but somewhat relieved, too, I suppose. Faltering, I gave him a brief nod to show I believed him…but kept on my guard nonetheless. After giving me a few moments to collect myself, making sure I was relatively okay, Sai turned back to the door, slowly twisting the knob, slowly pulling it open to reveal…

"Ah…Ayuru," my boyfriend greeted our visitor, his voice betraying a touch of surprise. The police sergeant was standing there limply, as if unsure of what to do with himself; his long arms hung at his sides, his hair was stiff and disheveled, and his eyes were even redder than they'd been the previous day. When Sai opened the door, he blinked slowly, as if he hadn't expected us to answer his ring at all. 

The three of us stood there in silence for a long moment, my heart all the while doing the Virginia Reel between wanting to hate or forgive our visitor. He was one confusing guy. And the list of people he'd hurt ran on and on through my head… 

"The young man with the red hair…is he all right?"

His deep voice was tired and gravelly, but surprisingly sincere…and my eyes widened involuntarily, peering up at him with wonder. He almost sounded like he cared…and the Wanting To Hate Him part of me was struck dumb, stupefied. 

Sai cleared his throat and nodded. "He's fine. Mitsukake…Myojuan…healed him. He's all right."

Closing his eyes, Ayuru let out a slow breath. "I…I don't know how it happened. All I know is that it wasn't my intention to do such a thing. I would never…" With a shake of his head, he almost seemed to shudder.

__

He can't help what he did in the past, no more than Houjun can help what happened to Hikou. How is he ever gonna prove he's better than he was if we don't even give him the chance?

If Sai can forgive him…

"Please…come in," Sai said, stepping back so that Ayuru could get around him, and after only a moment of hesitation, he accepted the invitation, slipping through the door like a cow being led into a horse's meadow. 

About then, I figured that the only way to be fair to the guy would be to completely separate Nakago and Ayuru in my mind, make them into two separate people, past and present. If I disassociated Ayuru with the things that Nakago had done, maybe I wouldn't be so confused as to how to feel about him. Maybe that's what Sai was already doing. Then again, Sai was better with emotions than I was; he seemed to have a much more effective hold on them, and he was smarter, too, so maybe he didn't even have trouble seeing Ayuru as Ayuru. Or maybe he was just a better person than I was, ready to forgive the guy that'd killed him in the past…

__

But you forgave Chuin, didn't you? You said it wasn't his fault, that it had been Miboshi's influence on him that made him do what he did…You don't wanna see him ever again, but it wasn't his fault, and you forgave him. Ayuru hasn't even DONE anything in this life! There's no reason why you should hold a grudge against him and let Chuin off the hook!

…But it's different. 

How the hell's it different??!!

Because Nakago hurt SAI. Not me. He hurt Sai…

The sudden thought dawned on me that, just as I was more hostile toward Ayuru, Sai in turn was _much _more openly hateful toward Chuin. I…I didn't _hate _Chuin. I hated what he'd done, but he couldn't help it. But Sai…I think Sai really hated him.

I guess loving someone makes you irrational sometimes, but if anyone ever hurt Sai, I'd want to punch them in the face. And I guess…I guess Sai felt the same way.

It took me a while to realize that both Sai and Ayuru were now staring at me, and even longer to realize that Sai had been talking to me.

"Huhwha?" I said intelligently, blinking.

He smiled. "Would you please start some coffee? I think everyone might need some."

"Sure," I said with a nod, darting a glance over at Ayuru. _Take a deep breath. Be polite. Ask him if he wants cream or sugar! Ask him if he wants a donut or something! _I filled my chest with air, working up the guts to say something…when Ayuru beat me to the punch.

"I'd like to offer my apologies for frightening you yesterday, as well," he said, in a voice that had lost some of its edge. "Like I said…I never would have done something like that on purpose. I know what it can be like…seeing someone you care for hurt." Something crawled through his eyes, making his brow crease and shadows form on the tops of his cheeks.

With every word he said, I could feel my eyes grow wider and my jaw drop lower until I was sure my head was falling apart. Was the sadistic, megalomaniacal Shogun of Kutou, the man who had wanted to rule the world at any cost and become a god and turn people into cheese, actually _apologizing _to _me_???!!

__

Yes, said a calm but impatient voice inside me. _Remember? Ayuru. Ayuru, not Nakago. He's different. Different different different different different!!!_

Well, I struggled to find some sort of appropriate response, but the fact that my jaw was nearly touching the ground made it hard for me to talk. Ayuru just gave me a hasty, uncertain little smile and shuffled further into the house, stopping when he saw the other two asleep in the den. A gentle hand found its way to my chin and slowly closed my mouth; I looked up into Sai's amused golden eyes, the corners of his mouth twisted upward in a fond grin. 

"You see?" he said, nearly whispering, hand still on my face. "You see how different he is?"

"A…Ayuru," I stammered. "Not…Nakago."

He nodded, his features softening even more. "Yes. Ayuru."

Swallowing, I glanced over at Ayuru, then back at Sai. "Do reincarnated evil shoguns who aren't evil anymore and may or may not have memories of being evil and killing lots of people but are now very sorry when they hurt people like cream or sugar or both in their coffee?"

Bursting into quiet laughter, he shook his head. "Well, we know that handsome emperors of ancient Chinese lands who are gifted swordsmen and enjoy looking into mirrors enjoy a bit of cream, and that beautiful crossdressers who love emperors of ancient Chinese lands but don't actually wind up with said emperors until a subsequent reincarnation don't like coffee at all, unless it's frozen with chocolate and whipped cream. So why don't you work with that?"

I giggled. "I'll just bring out the stuff on a tray."

"That would solve the problem," he agreed, running a hand through my hair and giving me a gentle push toward the kitchen door. "The coffee machine awaits. I'll wake the others; somehow, despite his improved personality, I doubt they'd enjoy being awakened to the sight of Ayuru staring down at them."

~*~

It only took me about five minutes to make the coffee. I'd heard the sounds of soft conversation from the other room; nothing had exploded yet, which I took as a good sign, and Gen-chan hadn't even raised his voice. But then, he could do well enough with grumbling, anyway. By the time I headed out with a tray of coffee and coffee condiments, and sodas for me and Gen-chan, they were already discussing The Book. Ayuru had a somewhat pained expression on his face, and the sudden, idiotic phrase "Nakago Needs A Hug" popped unwanted into my mind. 

Ah, jeez.

"So you haven't had any memories of the Universe of the Four Gods before last year?" Myojuan was saying.

Ayuru shook his head slowly. "I used to have nightmares…about an old man with a long, black beard and a cruel, laughing face. I think he was someone powerful, maybe a king. He would…laugh at me cruelly…and then I would put on strange, Asian-style armor and stand before the mirror, looking at myself…" He put a hand to his forehead, his eyes sliding shut. "But that was a long time ago. I was only seven or eight years old, and they stopped after about a year. I didn't have any more dreams like that until last October."

"When you saw Genrou," I supplied, having been standing there with the tray for a good five minutes, not wanting to interrupt. "And me, and Doukun."

He raised his eyes to me, pressing his lips together in what might have been a smile. "Yes. Ever since that night…I've dreamed often of that king and the armor. A frightening, painted face that came out of the shadows…a burning city…a beautiful woman with a pale face, dying in my arms…" Sai, meanwhile, stood to help me with the tray, setting it down on the coffee table and offering cream and sugar to Ayuru, who politely refused both and accepted his beverage plain. 

__

We are having coffee with Nakago. Well. THIS is surreal.

"It wasn't until last night, after you all had…departed, that I started connecting myself to my dreams," Ayuru continued. "I…I saw myself killing people, and I _remembered _how it felt, how it smelled, how my armor used to rub against my chest and leave marks there. I remember how to use my powers, how many people I killed with it…I saw your faces, and I remember hating you."

"Yeah, shit," Genrou growled. "We were really fuckin despicable people, huh? Tryin to defend our fuckin country from motherfuckin Kutou invaders, yeah, we were really fuckin assholes."

"Tasuki," said Sai, "let him speak. It's obvious, considering our conversation yesterday, how _we _felt about _him_. We are willing to overlook the past, and, judging by his presence here, he feels the same way."

"But you remember," Myojuan put in before Ayuru _could _speak. "You remember who you were; you know we aren't insane."

We all looked at the yellow-haired policeman, who calmly placed his mug of coffee onto the table before nodding. "I'm not foolish enough not to trust my own memories," he said quietly, "as unflattering as they are."

Sai reached out and put his hand on Ayuru's shoulder, making the bigger man look up quickly in surprise. "The past is the past," he said quietly. "We won't judge you here. And I'm sorry to make this so abrupt, but we need your help." Ayuru blinked, looking as if he hadn't expected such a sudden acceptance, and swept solid eyes over the rest of our faces. I did my best to give him a reassuring smile; Myojuan gave a small, firm nod, and Genrou just looked grimly bored. 

Turning back to Sai, Ayuru took a breath. "All right," he said. "You said it was urgent. What's happened? What must I do?"

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TBC…

Notes: Wellllllllllllll, there we are…another chapter. ^^;;;;; Hope you like, and if no, me sowwy.

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YET ANOTHER STORY AKUGI!!! Take One:

Ayuru: What must I do?

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Sai: You must take the ring to Mordor, and throw it into the fires of Mount Doom!!!

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Ayuru: …

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YET ANOTHER STORY AKUGI!! Take Two:

Ayuru: It wasn't until last night, after you all had…departed, that I started connecting myself to my dreams…But it wasn't a dream, it was a place! And you, and you, and you were there!! **points to Ryuuen, Sai, and Genrou**

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Toto: Yip!

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All: …

CHAPTER TITLE AKUGI: 

So I said,  
"How about  
Coffee with Nakago?"
    
Okay, nevermind.
****

RANDOM PSYCHOTIC QUOTE OF THE DAY:

Dirandu: Moero_ Moero MOERO!!!!!!!!!!!!!_


	14. So...Where To?

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Warnings: Sap, bandit language, melodrama, blahhhhhhhhhhhhh….

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Notes: Ahh, I gotta go really quick, but I wanna post this first! So…sorry! Not many notes todayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy…hope you likey!

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YET ANOTHER STORY

Chapter Fourteen:

So…Where To?

Sai explained the whole thing right then and there, about how Chuin was really Tomo and Kaen was really Soi and Miboshi trying to gather the Seiryuu seishi (and probably already succeeded with some) and knock off all the Suzaku while he was at it. Well…not the _whole _thing. He kinda left out the part about me and Chuin specifically, opting instead to say that Chuin had "attacked _us_," in general. A little anonymity never hurts, and I can't say I wasn't relieved that he hadn't mentioned Chuin Specifics to a perfect stranger who used to be our arch nemesis. He told Ayuru about Houjun and the others going off to follow Chuin's built-in Seiryuu Tracker, and how we needed his help to do the same, to save precious time and prevent the destruction of the world and all that fun stuff.

He took in the story, displaying little in the way of emotion, looking at Sai evenly and blinking every now and then. Finally, when all had been said, he lifted his fair eyebrows the slightest bit and folded his hands in his lap.

"You want me to _sense_…where the other Seiryuu seishi are," he said calmly, his voice betraying a hint of skepticism.

Sai nodded. "It seems silly, I know. But it works. We know from experience." And we did; the previous November, when we'd all gone to New York City in a frantic attempt to locate Houjun (but that's another story), all logical attempts to find him had failed. We'd wound up in a sandwich place right across the street from where Houjun had been sitting in the window of a restaurant; it could have been luck, but built-in Seishi Tracking would make just as much sense, if not more. Two years ago, I would have been just as incredulous as Ayuru at such a suggestion. But, jeez. I'm a reincarnated crossdresser from a different universe who can lift stuff twenty times my own weight. What the hell; anything goes.

Though he still looked dubious, Ayuru gave a hesitant nod. "I…I'll try to help. I can't guarantee anything. I'm not used to this sort of thing; I might lead you all on a wild goose chase."

"Now'd be a fuckin good time for another one of those goddamn clue mirror things to show up," Gen-chan muttered, still slumped in his chair like a blob with an attitude problem.

Sai ignored him, and gave Ayuru a grateful smile. "Thank you. Without you, I don't know how we'd be able to do it."

The blond guy returned the smile wryly. Standing, he folded his arms across his chest. "Let me go home and collect a few things, as we're none of us certain exactly how long this search will last. If we're not successful in finding the Seiryuu seishi, it would be wise to have a back-up plan; but we can discuss this at length in the days to come. I'll give you my address; perhaps you could come by in an hour or two."

I was slightly awed by the sudden switch to Shogun Mode, and just nodded as Ayuru handed his street number to Sai and headed toward the door. Ayuru's strategic memories would certainly come in handy, I realized, and was suddenly very, very glad that he was coming with us. He was Ayuru, after all, and he apologized about stuff. 

Sai then turned to Myojuan with a rather passive look on his face, and commented, "Well. So, there are the five of us, plus potentially up to three more Seiryuu seishi to fit in whatever vehicle we choose to take. Maybe even more, if we find Kaen, and I haven't even _considered _any random Genbu or Byakko seishi we might find. How will we transport all these people?"

He and Myojuan stared at each other for a long while before Myojuan finally shook his head and sighed. Standing up, he went to get his coat from the hook. "All right, all _right_," he said, but not unkindly. "I'll borrow the van from Murasuke."

"VAAAAAAAAAN!" I exclaimed happily, jumping up and down a little bit. "Our trusty van! It carried us so steadfastly, and now destiny has once again entwined our two paths…"

"What the fuck're ya tryin ta _do_, fuckin Shakespeare for Cars?!" Gen-chan exclaimed, shoving my head away; teasing, not rough. I laughed, and raced up the stairs to grab a shower. This time, because I actually _needed _one. Hardly anything to do with dreams of Chuin. Hardly anything at all.

~*~

I was surprised to find, when I had emerged shiny and clean from the bathroom, that Gen-chan didn't need to return to his own place to get anything. He didn't say anything beyond the fact that he had everything he needed, but I figured he must have brought it over when he heard about what had almost happened to me. No, he would've come right away when he heard, so probably he'd gone back for stuff while I was sleeping with Sai in the rocking chair. He had intended to stay with me, I supposed, and the thought made me smile. 'A man is no failure who has friends.' 

Myojuan managed to wrestle the beloved van from Shouka's brother once again; the guy, going by reputation, was probably only too happy to downsize. When we had all finished getting our bags together, Sai and Myojuan were locking up the house, and Gen-chan and I had piled into the familiar old van, I snuggled back into the middle armchair seat and sighed. I don't know why, but road trips with the people I loved always gave me a cozy feeling that even overshadowed the important world-saving task at hand. Just the closeness of it, the togetherness…

"MRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!" burped Genrou.

Eyes flying open, I felt my nose scrunch up of its own accord, and I turned around to glare at him. "D'ya mind??! We're in a confined area, here!"

"Ah, don't be such a fuckin priss."

"Just cuz I don't wanna smell your breakfast from here to California doesn't mean I'm a priss!"

"Ahhh, shove it, Ryuu-chan."

I threw a book at him. "Stooooooooooooooooop!"

"What the fuck?" he said, upon examining the small object more closely. "_The Great War and Modern Memory_?"

"Give it back, it's for my thesis."

"Wait, wait a fuckin minute…" He held the book out of my reach and gave me a weird look. "You said we were all _excuuuuuuuuuused _from classes from the rest of the fuckin semester, courtesy of the fuckin Creator of the Universe who ya whacked with a mallet."

I sighed impatiently, holding out an expectant hand. "I _did_, we _are_, don't _bend _it! Will you give it back, pleeeeeeeease?" 

"Why the fuck're ya still workin on the goddamn _thesis_??!"

"Well, I'm not gonna _cheat_!"

"Like taking fuckin credit for classes ya don't take doesn't count as fuckin cheatin?!"

"We _can't _go to class, Genrou! We have to save the world!" I reminded him, defensive.

He smirked, waving my book in the air. "Fuckin thesis more important than the world? Christ, don't look the fuckin gift horse in the mouth!"

"That's it," I said, unbuckling my seat belt, "I'm comin back there."

"Ooooooooooooooooh," Gen-chan said in mock, high-pitched terror, putting his hand to his cheek and fluttering his eyelashes. "No, no, anything but Ryuuen!"

By now, I was mostly kidding, and jumped on him with a roar, trying to grab for the book and tickle him at the same time. He gave a startled bark, tried to shove me away, and wound up wrapping his elbow around my neck to keep me still, twisting my body away from him. I was laughing and he was cursing rather jovially, and it was all in good fun, until…

__

Ow!

"Ahh!" I gasped as his elbow tightened slightly around me, feeling an almost sharp pain shoot through the side of my neck. "Ow, ow…" Wresting myself away from Genrou without managing to break his arm or anything—his arms had gone limp as soon as I'd cried out, making it fairly easy to escape—I fell to my knees on the floor of the van, my hand pressed against my neck. 

"Shit!" Genrou exclaimed, regarding me in horror. "What the fuck happened?!"

__

It's from Chuin…bruises on my neck, from Chuin…

Mortified, I scrambled back into my chair, turning my face away from my friend and drawing my knees up to my chest. I kept my hand on my neck, hiding the marks, feeling my pulse quivering through the veins there… and it all came back, Sai with different eyes, kissing me like an animal, biting down on my neck, attacking me in my nightmares… I heard Gen-chan moving over beside me, felt his hand on my shoulder and flinched back.

__

Don't want him to think I'm still broken, I'm not broken, I'm not broken, I'm…

"…Ryuuen?"

__

Wish he'd go away, don't want him to see me now…No. No, Gen-chan, Gen-chan, I didn't mean it, please stay…if I'm alone…

"Why won't it go away?" I whispered shakily, not turning to face him, clutching myself even tighter. "Why won't it just go away?"

The hand touching me hesitated, then slipped around my back, squeezing gently; my eyes were closed, and I hunched up my shoulders involuntarily, embarrassed to have my heart laid bare, to conjure up more pity…I didn't want pity. I just…I couldn't try to hide it…

__

God…they're all gonna get so sick of me if I keep carrying on like this. 

With a jerk, I ran a hand across my eyes and tried to take a breath. "I'm sorry, Gen-chan…I'm sorry, I'll stop, I'm okay…" But he'd already tugged me to lean against him, my head still facing away, and held me loosely.

"The hell you are," he muttered, "and the hell you will. If you fuckin pretend nothin's wrong when it's fuckin plain as day, you'll…shit, I dunno. You'll dress up like fuckin Kourin again, or somethin."

"I just wish it'd all go away, and I wouldn't have to think about it anymore and Sai wouldn't have to worry, and _you _wouldn't have to worry, and everything could just be back to normal," I quavered. "I hate this, I hate everyone being so worried because of me and I hate that I can't control it, cuz I'd stop if I could…and I try, but I _can't_. It keeps coming back."

He snorted. "_Shit_, Ryuuen, it happened _Saturday night_!! That's less than a fuckin day and a half ago, and you spent the whole entire fuckin night _alone_, with that fucker in the closet right in front of you! I'm no fuckin expert on this kinda stuff, but _jeez, _man! Give yourself some fuckin _time _before ya start bangin yer head against the fuckin wall!"

The little voice in my head said he was probably right, but I didn't want to accept it. "I should be stronger than this, though."

"For fuck's sake, stop whinin about bein _human_," he said, rubbing his fist in my hair, a hint of humor in his tone. "If ya don't fuckin accept the fact that ya have every goddamn fuckin right and reason to be upset, well…repression ain't gonna help the recovery process, here. If ya need to talk about it, fuckin _talk _about it. If ya need to cry, fuckin _cry_; it's better'n tryin to fuckin stop thinkin about it."

"But you and Sai…"

His hand went to my face, squeezing my cheeks together before I could say anything else. "I'm not the brightest fuckin star in the sky, but if Sai doesn't think the same thing, he's fuckin playin ya, and I really don't think he is. And if any one of our friends slips up for a fuckin _second _and lets ya do the fuckin bottle-up-emotions thing…"

"You'll kick their ass?" I guessed. 

With a fangy grin, he released my face and leaned away. "You bet yer fuckin sappy starry eyes I will."

I snickered. "Did you just say '_starry_'?" Images of Genrou dressed in some sort of floaty gauze dress, dancing about in the night sky, popped into my head.

His hands flew away from me in record time, and he picked up his Macho Banditness once more. "Ya know, ya try to have a meaningful conversation…" He started to make his way back to the back seat, ranting about me bringing out some sort of evil sap demon that must have possessed him, but I stopped him before he could go, putting my arms around his neck.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, nooooo," he groaned. "No more fuckin sap, I'll _die_…"

"Thanks, Gen-chan," I said quietly, trying to be serious despite wanting to giggle at his sudden gruffness. "It means a lot, I mean, that you don't think I'm being stupid and…"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," he said, gripping my wrists—but gently—and pushing my arms away from him. "Whatever, sure…"

I hugged my knees and smiled, listening as he _smoothly _changed the subject to "What The Hell Is Taking Sai And Juan So Long," and by the time said tardy companions were seen leaving the house and approaching the van, the panic had faded. I didn't know when it would come back, but if it did…_when _it did…

__

Miaka said I could call her to talk, if I wanted. Maybe I will.

Maybe.

It really was a relief, knowing that Gen-chan didn't think I was being a pain. But as far as burdening my friends, especially Genrou and Sai, with my own problems…I didn't know that I'd do that. I'd already worried them enough, after all, and I didn't want to be a basket case for however long it took. I couldn't sleep in a bed, I'd already had nightmares, Sai had spent so much time with me that he hadn't even taken a break to eat… It wasn't good for them, and I wasn't about to let the whole group sink into whatever hole of despair just because of me. _Especially _not with Miboshi out there, collecting reincarnated seishi left and right.

~*~

Ayuru lived in an apartment about three miles from the college campus, and it was funny to picture him trying to do paperwork or something with the students surrounding him blasting Lucky Boy's Confusion. He was waiting on the stoop when we pulled up, looking eerily like a boy scout. He was wearing loose jeans and a khaki button-down T-shirt, which only added to the former impression…which was just _weird_. 

He threw us a small, slightly lop-sided smile and went to throw his navy blue duffel bag in the trunk, coming around to sit alongside Myojuan in the front seat. No one said anything for quite some time after the first tentative words of greeting; Ayuru twisted stiffly in his seat to nod at me and Sai and Genrou in the back. Genrou was slouching grumpily, but Sai smiled, and I grinned and waved, making a solemn vow not to hold the past against him. 

"Before I forget," he said after a while, "I think I have something here that belongs to you." His eyes were directed at Gen-chan, who stirred a bit and grunted, more unwilling than the rest of us to forgive the poor guy. But when Ayuru produced a long, paper-wrapped object and passed it back, my friend's brown eyes widened, and he straightened.

"What the…" he mumbled, holding the thing on his lap. Only seconds later, he was picking at the brown wrapping almost delicately, trying to uncover its contents.

"It was found last fall, the night you were brought in," Ayuru explained. "No one could figure out what it was; I remembered it, somehow, and I knew it was yours, so I told them it was probably part of the building that had caught fire. Some sort of strange prop, or something."

By now, Genrou had unmasked the object…and it was revealed to be his tessen, the one he'd had in the book and Keisuke had found at a pawn shop somewhere, about which we'd almost forgotten. His eyes gleamed, and a rather scary smile spread across his face, making him look like some sort of creature of the night.

"Ehehehehehe," he laughed, sounding more than slightly maniacal, and I had to resist the urge to hide under the seat. Tossing the paper in the back with the luggage, my friend tested the weight of his weapon, and I remembered that he'd never really had it when he'd been conscious of his memories. This was probably, for Genrou, just as thrilling as meeting seishi. Whipping it through the air, he pointed the thing directly at Ayuru, and said, in a self-assured growl, "Thanks, pal! Really fuckin thoughtful of ya… Is it just me, or do I sense a little payback in the works for that blue-light special ya gave me last…"

"TASUKI!" Myojuan roared, and Gen-chan nearly dropped the tessen, his expression changing from menacing to guilty in a split second. "NOT IN THE VAN!!"

Ayuru's expression, meanwhile, had never faltered, and he simply turned back to the windshield, leaving Gen-chan muttering in the back. I looked over at Sai, who had his eyes closed and was pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation, and giggled.

The van was silent for a few minutes as we collected our senses, but finally, Sai sighed and looked up again, Gen-chan put his tessen safely on the floor, and Myojuan cleared his throat, turning to Ayuru with almost eerie calm, considering his latest outburst.

"So," he said, "where to?"

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TBC…

Note: Lucky Boy's Confusion is an Illinois-based band, and they're pretty cool. Woo.

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YET ANOTHER STORY AKUGI!!! 

Myojuan: All right, all _right,_ I'll borrow the van from Murasuke!

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Ryuuen: VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!! **jumps into red guymelef, goes bug-eyes** MOERO MOERO MOERO!!*

*By the way, in the last chapter, I spelled Dilandau "Dirandu" because I like the way it sounds better. ^_~ So I'm just a snob, but am I wrong??!? Hehe.

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YET ANOTHER STORY AKUGI!!! Take Two!

Ryuuen: _Especially _not with Miboshi out there, collecting reincarnated seishi left and right.

**Cut to Miboshi, placing Hikitsu and Tomite on a little shelf and scratching off their names on the Master Card of FY Collectibles**

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Miboshi: This would be a hell of a lot easier if they made us into action figures!!!

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Mouse-chan: Hai, I know. That's why I should own FY. I'd make action figures! And sheets!!

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All: **cheer**


	15. A Total Stranger?

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Warnings: Laaaaaaanguage. 

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Notes: Okay. For those of you who are interested, "Oh Better Far To Live And Die" is a song from the Pirates of Penzance by Gilbert and Sullivan. Maybe you guys might wanna listen to the song before reading this chapter, just cuz it might be funnier if you knew the tune…but for those who don't really want to, here are the _real _lyrics to the chorus:

~*~

Oh, I am a pirate king!  
And it is, it is, a glorious thing to be a pirate king!  
I am a pirate king!  
And it is, it is, a glorious thing to be a pirate king!  
It is!  
Hurrah for the pirate king, hurrah for the piiiiiiiiraaaaaate king!

~*~

**nod** And now, without further ado…The Story. ^_^;; Hope you guys like, thanks for the reviews, and thanks for reading! ^___^

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YET ANOTHER STORY

Chapter Fifteen:

A Total Stranger?

As the only member of the traveling party that had remembered to bring along a CD collection, I felt it was my solemn duty to provide my fellow reincarnates with ample entertainment for the long journey ahead. Oh, yes, there were those who protested (Genrou), but Myojuan was driving, and he saw little problem in slipping in a few of my CDs to pass the time. Maybe he just wanted to piss Genrou off. Hehe. So I took them through Elton John's Aida and Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band, and actually earned very few complaints. However, when I stuck in the soundtrack to The Pirates of Penzance, Gen-chan nearly went berserk.

"How the _fuck _can ya listen to this turn-of-the-century crap??!" he protested from the back, and I looked back at him and stuck out my tongue.

"Shhh!!" I said. "I can't _hearrrr _over your annoying voice!" 

"Quiet," admonished Sai. "Listen. It's _cultural_."

Genrou snorted. "Yeah? So's fuckin puttin _spikes _through your nose, in some countries, and ya don't see people doin _that _for fun!"

"But I'll be true to the song I siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!" I sang along with the music. "And liiiiiiiiiiiive and diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie…"

"A fuuuuuuuuuuckiiiiiiiiinnnn spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazz!!" Genrou inserted, glaring at me. Sai clicked in disapproval, but it cracked me up, and I _had _to go on…

"Foooooooooooooooor Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii am a fuckin spaaaaazz!!" I sang, still laughing. "And it is, it is, a glorious thing to be a fuckin spazz!!"

"_Ryuuen_!" Sai exclaimed, wide eyed at my language, and I completely lost myself to laughter. Kevin Kline sang on in the background, but I was _gone_; even Gen-chan was laughing, though he was apparently trying to disguise it as some sort of severe coughing fit. When I finally looked up at Sai, it was through tears of mirth, and one glance at his stunned, quirky expression made me start all over again; finally, I heard him chuckle, too. "You know, it's been quite a while since you had that Pepsi One."

I nodded cheerfully. "Yup. I'll be hitting a slump any minute now."

"And the fuckin world rejoiced," Gen-chan muttered, then coughed again.

Sai's look was bothering me a little, because it was…worried, in a way. He was studying me like I was behaving strangely, or as if, for some reason, I shouldn't be acting the way I was acting. With a slightly sinking feeling, I figured he probably thought I was trying to cover up any lingering uneasiness from the Chuin thing, and he wasn't exactly wrong…but I couldn't mope about it _all _the time. I didn't _want _to mope at _all_, and precisely _becaaaaaaause_ I didn't want the silly idiot to worry. Maybe if I tried really hard, kept the Normal Me act up for a long time, he'd start believing it was real.

It wasn't hard anyway, and to tell the truth, I wasn't hiding that much. It was easy to forget on the road. It was just a road trip, like any other, like the one we'd taken to New York. It had been fun. It _was _going to be fun. 

"C'mon, though; the music is goooooood!" I insisted. "Gilbert and Sullivan! It's classic! My mom and I used to watch this movie _all _the time when I was little!"

"Huh. Small wonder ya turned gay."

I reached back and whacked him with my pillow.

"Children," came Myojuan's tired voice, "Please. No horseplay in the car."

On cue, Gen-chan and I both made neighing sounds.

"Should I tranquilize them?" Sai offered.

"Hmm," said Myojuan, "actually, I think we ought to let Ayuru deal with it. What do you say, Ayuru?"

__

That was enough to stun us into silence, and as Genrou sputtered something nasty, I stared with big eyes at the former shogun. The yellow-haired man looked at Myojuan calmly, then turned his head only slightly and said, "Stop." Followed by which, he returned to his normal position: sitting motionless, staring out the windshield like he was some sort of mannequin made to sell vans to big-chested blonde women.

Myojuan cocked an eyebrow, glancing at him briefly. "Good effort."

"I try."

"So, um, Ayuru," I said politely, trying to integrate. "What kind of music do _you _like?" It was funny and rather disturbing, picturing Ayuru bopping to _any _kind of music. I saw him more as the quiet, cultural opera type, like Treize from Gundam Wing. He was silent for a while; I thought he might not answer me, and my shoulders slumped, thinking my attempt at friendship had been rejected. After a few moments, though, he spoke up:

"Well, Ryuuen…I don't get much time to listen to music. But I enjoy The Eagles, as well as James Taylor."

I blinked. "…Really?"

He nodded, but still didn't turn back to look at me. "And also the Dixie Chicks."

This stunned the rest of us into deafening silence, and we sat there, mouths hanging open, for a good minute and a half. If there had been crickets in the van, they surely would have been chirping like crazy. 

__

You've gotta be kidding me. _The freakin DIXIE CHICKS??!!_

But the more I thought about it, the more human it made him. Sure, it seemed odd; but there he was, a normal guy with normal musical tastes! Even though Nakago boogying to "Here's Your Trouble" was…quite an image, ehehe. With a giggle, I broke the ice that had filled the van and reached for my CD case, flipping through pages until I found what I was looking for. 

"Well, here!" I said cheerfully. "I have their CD, the first one; we can listen if you want. Just take Pirates out; we can always listen to that one another time."

Almost hesitantly, he turned; his face was expressionless, but I could still see a bit of uncertainty in his light blue eyes. I deepened my smile to reassure him, reaching out to give him the disc, and he accepted it. He didn't smile, not on his face…but once again, his eyes showed me all I needed to know.

__

He's worried, being here with us. He's a big macho guy, but he's worried… Worried that we might be cold to him, that we really WON'T forgive him for who he was.

But just now…he smiled at me, didn't he? Even if it was only with his eyes. He was grateful. He likes me.

Nakago likes me.

…

Ew. Okay. AYURU likes me. 

I felt Sai looking at me, and moved my gaze to him. He was staring at me with a look of suchfondness on his face, such love, that my smile turned sheepish even as my cheeks turned pink. I shrugged; I had only been trying to be nice, after all. But apparently, in Sai's eyes, I had just committed some utterly selfless sacrificial act. 

__

Awwww, shucks…I was just being nice.

Stifling a lovesick giggle, I pulled my knees up to my chest and lay my head on them. Sai was so funny sometimes, acting like _I _was the noble one and he was…what? Chopped liver? Tuna? Imitation crab meat? 

__

Ryuuen. Message from above: SHADDUP.

I started humming along with the CD Ayuru had put in, and was surprised to find that not only was _Ayuru _singing along (sure, he was keeping it low, but I could tell), but _Myojuan and Sai_, too!! "_Mehh?_!!" I exclaimed. "_You _like them, _too_?!"

With a shrug, Sai threw me a wink. "Who _doesn't _like the Dixie Chicks?"

"ME!!" Gen-chan growled behind us. 

"Bayyyyyyyyby, I could luuuuuuuv you betterrrrrr," Myojuan and Ayuru sang quietly, and I nearly died for the second time. 

"Sounds like something Nuriko'd sing to Hotohori," I giggled. "I'm gonna break the spell she's got on you-oo, you're gonna wake up to fi-iiind…I'm your desire, my intentions are true-oo…" I meant it as a joke, but Sai immediately looked incredibly hurt, reaching out to take my hand.

"Ryuuen," he said, "I know I've said this before, but…no matter what happened in the past, I'm here now. Now and forever. You know that, right?"

__

Oh my god, I hurt his feeeeeeeeeeeeeeelingggggggggggggggssssssssss!!!!!

Frantically, I nodded. "I know! I know, Sai, I didn't mean to…"

But he only squeezed my hand across the aisle of our two seats, and smiled. His face said that he understood, that he was only reassuring me; he didn't want me to doubt him. I hoped he knew I didn't. I'd have to make a point to tell him.

"So," said Ayuru, calmly conversational. "Are you two together?"

__

Eeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…crikey, I forgot. He doesn't really know anything about us, does he? Ehehehe. I turned red, sharing a shy smile with Sai.

"Nah, Nakago. They're fuckin bridge partners," Genrou said. We all ignored him.

"Yes; he's my boyfriend," Sai replied congenially, never taking his eyes from mine, and I beamed. My heart fluttered, and I really had to take a few deep breaths to prevent insane giggling.

__

Ehehehehe he said it he said it he said it he said it he said it

"How long have you two been together?" was the sergeant's next question. Evidently, our joint affection for the Dixie Chicks had acted as a battering ram to whatever barriers had been between us. His tone wasn't strained, like some people sounded when, knowing we were both guys, they politely asked for relationship details, pretending they were supportive when in reality the idea made them uncomfortable. I took Ayuru's openness as a good sign, because _really_, if he were a homophobe, it'd be one _hell _of a long car trip. 

Sai gave a little laugh, tilting his head slightly to face our new companion. "Technically?…Four months, I think, right, sweetheart?"

__

Ehehehehehe he said it he said it

"Mm," I agreed dreamily, and Genrou groaned.

"Four months," Sai repeated, and shrugged. "But we go _much _farther back than that, as I'm sure you're aware." I reeeeeeeeeally wanted to jump out of my seat and hug him, but feared it would not be considered proper van decorum, in which case I would receive quite a reprimand from Myojuan.

"That's…that's good," said Ayuru, and he sounded sincere. He was nodding, his mouth turned up in what could have been a very small smile. "I'm happy to hear that you've found each other again."

"Me, too," I said with a nod, and Sai smiled, kissed his fingers, and placed the fingers on my nose, teasing. I giggled. 

"All right, everybody; who's for a pit stop?" Myojuan called, and silence once again reigned supreme.

"Well, shit! _I_ am, Trucker Bob!" Genrou drawled, and I snickered.

"Do we need gas?" asked Sai. 

"Yeah; we should've stopped before we left, but I didn't even think about it," our chauffeur said. "But we'll stop at the next place we see, maybe get some breakfast…or lunch."

I was hungry, but I didn't feel like eating. Knowing that Sai would never allow that, I decided that a bag of pretzels and some more soda would be fine, since it wouldn't go bad if I didn't consume it all at once. Sighing, I looked out the tinted window at the flat, frosted fields flying by and wondered exactly where we were. I hadn't really been paying attention, distracted by being happy and singing along with the Beatles. 

"Hey, Juan?" I said, pronouncing it correctly. "Where are we? Still in Illinois?"

"Iowa," he corrected me. "We've been in Iowa for a little under an hour."

"Hmm. I forgot how many farms there are in Iowa," I said. "Feels like home." We were headed west, following Ayuru's hunch, without a true destination in mind; it was kind of like looking for Houjun in New York City, aimless drifting on a larger scale. But I knew to trust seishi bonds, and I hoped this episode would work out as well as the last one had.

The nearest gas station was a tiny little place, off to the side of the road with nothing surrounding it. It looked like something out of the 50s: a battered white wooden building, tanks that appeared ancient. The sign, whitewashed planks with red and blue paint, read, "Marty's American Gasoline!!! Finest Gasoline, 100% Pure!" Well, _that _was a relief. And, at least we weren't getting any German gasoline, or anything.

"This place looks rather run down," Sai said quietly, as if he was afraid the natives would hear him. "Do you think it's all right to stop here?"

"I'm sure it's fine," Myojuan said as he pulled up in front of a pump. "And besides, it's important to support the private business enterprises."

"Are you sure we should let Gen-chan out of the car at a gas station?" I said warily as we piled out into the cold. "The place might blow up."

"Ahahaha_haaa_," Gen-chan laughed mirthlessly, and made an interesting face at me.

At first glance, the place looked deserted, and I wondered if it was actually closed. But there was an "Open" sign hanging in the window of the little snack shop, and as we cautiously entered, we saw that there was a little old guy at the counter…fast asleep. He had bristly, gray hair and a beard and mustache which fluttered as he breathed, and little spectacles were sliding off the end of his nose. If he'd have been wearing a vest instead of a red-striped shirt, he'd have looked like someone out of a Western. 

And sure enough, when Myojuan cleared his throat and the poor guy was startled into waking, I saw that he _was, _in fact, wearing a black corduroy vest. 

"Sorry to bother you, sir," Myojuan said, "but should we pay for gas before pumping, or the other way around?"

The old guy blinked blearily, pushing his glasses up his nose. "Ehhh," he said in a creaky voice, "Scuse me fer dozin; middle of the day, and all, and not a customer to speak of!"

"That's all right," Sai said diplomatically. "It's not a busy day for travel."

"I'll call Tom out to fill ye up," said Western Reject Guy, and before Sai could protest the unnecessary service, he'd put a hand to his mouth and screamed, "TOM!!!! We got customers, boy, where'd you go??!"

There was a crash from the back room, and we all jumped—okay, maybe not Ayuru—and a young voice was soon shouting back. "Dammit, old man!! I _told _ya not ta _scream _like that, didn't I?!!"

"What the hell ya _doin _back there??!" the cashier demanded, putting his hands on his hips like a cartoon. "You better not be messin with the paints again, after I told ya not to!"  
"Ahhh, go ta hell!"

"I'll take ya with me, boy, cross my pebble-sized heart, I will!"

"Waaahhh," I whispered to Sai, "it's like having two Genrous together in the same room!" Sai was wincing slightly, too polite to interrupt or to leave; Ayuru and Myojuan were just standing there, cool as cucumbers, waiting for the vocal exchange to lead somewhere. Genrou, I saw, was ignoring the whole thing, nonchalantly cruising the snack shelves and filling his arms with Hostess cupcakes.

After a few more rounds of shouting, myself and Sai (and, though they didn't show it, probably Myojuan and Ayuru, too) growing increasingly uncomfortable, a young man close in age to me and Genrou emerged from the back room. He had shaggy, whitish-blond hair that had been dyed dark brown at the tips, and a roundish face with a pointed chin; he wasn't very tall, from what I could tell, but he was still taller than I was. The baggy jeans he wore, as well as his customary Gas Station Worker shirt, were splattered with red and yellow paint, and he had a smudge of the same colors on his nose. He rubbed at the smudge calmly as he saw us, and sniffed.

"Guys need a tank filled?"

The old guy went nuts. "Boy, if that room back there's as messy's you are, you can start huntin for another goddamn job!!" Without replying, Tom stepped outside; Myojuan blinked once, and followed him, apparently off to see to the van, and Old Guy immediately changed his face to appeasing. "My humble apologies," he said, and I didn't like the sudden oozing kow-tow sound of his voice. "Boy's got his head in the clouds nine days outa ten; is it just the gasoline you're wantin, or you intending to purchase all the packets your friend there's picked up?"

Sai smiled, but I could tell he didn't like the guy any more than I did. "I think we'll look for a while," he said. "Thank you for your help." Then, turning to me, he said more softly, "Would you like a sandwich, or something? They have some pre-made in the fridge, do you see?"

Even though I hadn't wanted anything _beforehand_, the possibility that Old Guy might've had a hand in making those sandwiches did not appeal to me one bit, so I said, "A bag of pretzels, maybe? It'd be less messy in the van, anyway." I was right; he didn't really agree with my choice, I could tell by his slightly cocked eyebrow, but there wasn't much of a choice there, anyway. We picked up a few bags of pretzels, sodas, and some Doritos for Myojuan, and Ayuru selected bottled water and a bag of M&M's. 

__

M&M's. The preferred snack of reincarnated shoguns everywhere.

Genrou had cleared out the entire section of snack cakes, much to the pseudo-hidden disdain of Old Guy, but Sai didn't comment, and took the appropriate amount of money out of his wallet. Without saying anything, Ayuru put enough money for his own things on the counter, and before Sai could protest, pushed through the door to join Myojuan by the van.

We took our stuff, bade the annoying man farewell, and headed to the driveway just as Tom burst in with a gruff "Scuse me." I paused in my tracks, holding the door open with my shoulder, as he strode purposefully into the back room, accompanied by more shouts by his employer. Sure, he cut a _really _sympathetic figure, Old Guy did; it was like he thought that any yelling not directed at us would go unheard, and only the slimy politeness would reach our ears. What a freak.

Myojuan slid past me silently, placing the gas fee on the counter as if he hoped the guy wouldn't notice, and slipped back out, tapping me briefly on the shoulder to signify that we should get going. Though I would've been more than happy to leave right away, I hesitated a bit…and right before I turned, Tom came back into the store, a small duffel bag slung over one shoulder and a battered green backpack hanging from the other. He'd put on a black newsboy's cap and an old army jacket with sergeant's stripes on the sleeve; it might have been authentic, but then again, it might've been one of the newly-marketed store brand army attire things, and worn so much that it _looked_ authentic. Without a word, his eyes set straight ahead, he marched out the door, heedless of the mound of old school, derogatory comments being tossed in his direction.

I blinked after him, but a shout from Gen-chan to get my ass in the goddamn fucking van snapped me out of my trance. Throwing a cheerful wave and "Thanks!" to the now gaping old guy—spite him with manners, hehe—I hurried after the boy with the funky hair, who was now walking with grim determination toward the highway.

"Hey!" I called, my teeth beginning to chatter from the cold. He didn't turn around, so I sped up until I was walking right next to him. "Hey," I said again, panting from cold, hugging myself. "You're really gonna go right now? Just like that?" I didn't know why, but I felt…_something_. Something inside me was telling me not to let the guy run off alone into the snow. Apart from the logical, humanitarian reasons, there was another reason, one I couldn't quite put a finger on…

"Kid," he said, a little gruffly, "your friends are calling ya; go back to your van."

He was right; I heard them clearly, Genrou especially, but it still seemed wrong to go back. "It's…it's really cold outside!" I attempted insipidly, emphasizing the words with a trembling voice. "At least…hey, let us take you to the nearest town, okay? There's nothing around here but fields and more fields, and we have room… Ah, come _on_, don't be a moron!" I said when he made no move to stop. "I can tell you're mad, but you don't have to be _stupid_ on top of it!"

That made him pause, and I almost ran into him. He turned his head to look at me, the corner of his mouth twisting into a small smile, and he watched me for a while, my breath coming in visible puffs in the chill air. 

"We'll give you a cupcake," I offered, and had to backtrack. "W-well, if we can wrestle any away from Genrou."

Spinning fully, he raised a hand to his head and rubbed through his hat. "You're not afraid I'll try to kill you, or rob you, or steal your car or somethin? You don't know anything about me; I'm a total stranger."

__

No. No, you're not.

I blinked, and realized it was true. The connection I felt with this guy… It was recognition. Somehow, I could remember meeting him before; maybe…

He was frowning, peering intently into my eyes. "Or am I?" he murmured. "Have we…have we met before?"

I swallowed, and gave him a smile, hugging myself even tighter to fight the cold. "Yes," I said, nearly whispering. "Yeah…I think we have."

****

TBC… 

****

Notes: Ehehehehe. ^^;; 

YET ANOTHER STORY AKUGI!! Take One: ****

Ryuuen: So, um, Ayuru. What kind of music do _you_ like?

****

Ayuru: Well. I happen to be a successful musical entertainer myself.

****

Ryuuen: Oh?

****

Ayuru: **ahemahem** _Blue eyes, bluuuuuue…Lalalalalalalaaaaa!!!_

****

Ryuuen: ^_^;;;;;

YAS AKUGI! Take Two: ****

Ryuuen: So, um, Ayuru. What kind of music do _you _like?

****

Ayuru: *NSYNC!!!!!!!!!

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Ryuuen: **facefault** **falls over** 

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Ayuru: **starts singing Tearin Up My Heart**

**YAS AKUGI!! Take Three:**

Old Guy: You better not be messin with the paints again, after I told ya not to!

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Tom: **sniff** Stop stifling my creativity!! You are messing with my ART!!

****

Old Guy: …

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Tom: **fake British accent** I simply CANNOT take any more of this, sir! I cannot WORK under these conditions; I will take my business elsewhere! **storms out**

****

Old Guy: **grumbles** Artists.


	16. Heyyy, The Window!!

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Warnings: Language, sulking bandits, and…other stuff, too.

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Notes: Hi, everybody! **wavewave** I'm back at school now, and I start tomorrow. What fun!! ^_^;; I hope you all are doing well, I know most of you are starting pretty soon, too. So. Good luck! ^_^ And thanks for reading; I hope you like it! 

****

YET ANOTHER STORY

Chapter Sixteen:

Heyyy, The Window!!

Genrou was less than thrilled when I managed to drag Tom back to the van, and blocked our entrance, glaring.

"Gen-chaaaaaaaan," I protested, "c'mon! It's really cold out here!"

"_Look_, ya fuckin stupid little naïve girly-boy, we're not a fuckin home for strays on wheels!" he retorted. "In case you fuckin _forgot_, we got _things _to do!"

I opened my mouth to argue, but Tom cleared his throat and cut me off. "Thanks for the offer," he said quietly, stepping away, "but I don't want ya ta cause a rift among…"

I grabbed him by the arm. "Oh, _no_, you don't! I told you, didn't I? We'll take you to the next town; don't mind Genrou, he's a dork, and he always acts like this. Genrou," I ordered, "get the heck away from the door and let me talk to Sai." To my irritation, he didn't budge, just folded his arms more tightly and clenched his jaw firmly; and suddenly, Sai's head popped up over his shoulder, blinking.

"You want to take him with us, Ryuuen?" he asked, apparently a bit confused.

With a nod, I explained myself. "I think I've _met him befoooooore_," I stressed, hoping he'd take the hint without me having to go into more detail, detail which, by all rights, might send Tom heading for the hills. I was almost certain that he was someone from the Book, because there couldn't be another explanation for it; I hadn't ever met him in this life, of _that _I was sure. Well…98 percent sure, anyway. SO. The only other logic behind it (ahaha, if you can really call it logic) would be that he was a seishi. He definitely wasn't a Suzaku, since we'd found everyone already; he probably wasn't a Seiryuu, because Ayuru hadn't said anything. So he was either Genbu or Byakko, right? Of course, my siblings and Kouji and Kouran and Shouka had turned up here, too, with no divine connections to speak of… I don't think I ever met Tom in the past, so he was either an early seishi or someone from a seishi's past whom I'd…yeah. Never met.

Oh, by the way. Sai let me into the car. He wasn't a spazz like Gen-chan, and he'd understood my clue, of course, but had still hesitated—just because someone is a reincarnated seishi doesn't mean they're necessarily _safe_, after all—until I heard Myojuan's voice pipe up from the front.

"Let him in," he said. "Let him come." 

That about did it. If the driver said someone could come, that someone was coming.

Tom took a seat in the back next to Gen-chan, who was sulking because he hadn't gotten his way, and thanked us all graciously for the ride; Sai and I assured him it was no big deal, and Sai smiled at him and asked him where he was from.

"Originally? Oklahoma," our new passenger informed us. "Right outside of Tulsa. But I left when I was sixteen, so I haven't seen home for three years. Little more'n that."

"You left home when you were _sixteen_?" I repeated, twisting more in my seat to look at him. "Why? Did you run away?" _Private, private, that's private stuff, Ryuuen! You shouldn't be delving, you know…_

But Tom only shrugged. "Nah, I just left. Told my dad I was goin, didn't bother him none. He never wanted a kid in the first place, and I wasn't more'n a hassle for him, anyway. Didn't understand a kid who wants to draw stupid pictures for a living, kinda like Marty back there, you know, at the gas station." He rubbed his forehead under the rim of his hat and gave a slightly sheepish grin. "Don't bother me much, though; besides, I got…people to find."

__

People to find! People to find! Like…Book People! AhahahahahAHAHAHahaha, it's been confirmed!! I shot an excited look at Sai, who glanced at me briefly and said in a calm voice, "Oh? Family, you mean?"

The boy laughed a little, leaning back in the seat as if he was embarrassed. "Kinda; I guess. Iunno. Y'all might think I'm missin a few nuts in my head, if ya don't already."

"Try us," I invited, masking my excitement, and Genrou snorted rudely, unwrapping a cupcake and stuffing the whole thing in his mouth. What was his _problem_??

Tom looked at us measuringly with solemn brown eyes before sighing and saying, "Well. For a few years now, I've been having these dreams…weird dreams, about people I never met before…but somehow, I have. Dunno how to explain it, it's real weird; there're a buncha people who're waitin for me…" He rubbed at his head. "Shit, Iunno. Buncha crazy shit. I got this fool notion that they're real, though, so I've been workin my way toward 'em…Don't have a clue where in hell they are."

"Do you know what they look like?" I said, picturing the Genbu and Byakko seishi I knew in my head. Doulin and Lanva! "Is there a woman with long, white hair, and a man with spiky white hair?" And I remembered two of the Genbu seishi…something was weird about that memory, it was foggy and dim, but I could see them in my mind: "Or…a kid with dark hair and a big hat, or a guy with one eye??" Too late, Sai nudged me with his foot, and I gulped, realizing that any low profile we'd hoped to keep was lost because of my big mouth. 

__

Great job, Ryuuen; give the game away. Can't you be tactful, EASE him into the fact that he's probably a reincarnated seishi and…

"One eye," he breathed, eyes going wide. "Yeah…Yeah, a guy with one eye, I remember that! I can't see them all that well in the dreams, but…I remember that…" His eyes widened, and he put his hands on his knees, leaning forward and looking right into my face. "I _do _know you, _don't _I?? Are you one of them?! You're familiar…y'all are so familiar!"

I, meanwhile, had clenched my sleeves in my fists and put them up to my mouth, probably blushing again and wishing someone would have stapled my mouth shut or something before I'd had a chance to destroy the fragile psyches of random reincarnates. My eyes darted to Sai, who reached out to pat my shoulder and sighed.

"Tom," he said, "if I can call you Tom…"

Tom smiled nervously. "Can't call me much else, can ya?" Gen-chan rolled his eyes and muttered something about hicks around the lump of cake and cream filling in his mouth. Why the heck was he acting like a badger with a chip on his shoulder??! It couldn't be just because we'd overruled his unwillingness to let Tom in the van, could it? …But then, knowing Gen-chan, that was probably it. Spazz.

"We seem familiar," Sai said, his voice low and gentle, like the one he'd used with me when he'd told me the story of my past life, "because we come from the same place you do."

__

Poor Sai; he always gets sucked in to explaining stuff to everyone!

Our passenger looked rather wary. "What, ya mean like…we're space aliens and stuff?"

Sai came to an abrupt halt, and I giggled despite myself; Ayuru peered back at us from the front, eyebrow raised, and even Gen-chan had to bite his lip to keep from laughing, albeit probably scornfully. "N-nooo," Sai continued. "Perhaps…we're going a bit too quickly."

"There's four animals that control the planet, right?" Tom plunged on eagerly. "A turtle, a bird, a dragon…and a big white cat thing, right? Listen, y'all, is this like a, like a…like a past life thing, like a memory? Is that what it is? Cuz I been thinkin about it for years and tryin to figure what the hell's goin on, and it sounds stupid, but it's the best I could come up with; I know all these folks are here, and I can find 'em, but damned if I ever saw 'em before! Not with these eyes, anyhow. So is that it?"

…_Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, slow down slow down!!!!!!!!!! How does he KNOW all that?? I didn't know all that, not until I was told! How does he know so much??!_

"That's…that's…very good," said Sai weakly. "Good. Good, indeed…"

Despite being relatively flabbergasted, I decided it was time for me to come to his rescue. It took me a few tries, but I eventually came out with, "We're…uhh…all of us, and you, and…lots of other people, too…well, everyone in the van except Ayuru, the blond guy in the front…we're the reincarnations of the Celestial Warriors of Suzaku. The phoenix god." I forced a smile to calm him down in case of panic, my hands still close to my mouth. "Um…I think you might be another of the seishi, from one of the other gods; you said you remember a guy with one eye, and I know that one of the Genbu seishi—Hikitsu, right?—had one eye. And since you say you recognize us, and _I_, at least, recognize _you_…"

"Me, too," said Sai.

"…I think it might be…I dunno…maybe some sort of universal seishi bond, or something," I finished meekly, sorry that I couldn't explain it more. 

He absorbed the information, jaw dropping a bit. "A seishi," he said finally, musing. "Me? A seishi? Chosen by the Gods?"

"That's what it looks like," Sai said kindly. "Lucky we stopped at that particular station, isn't it?"

Tom folded his arms, brow furrowing slightly. "A seishi," he repeated. "I…Y'know, y'all…" Slowly, a smile grew on his face, showing his teeth, and he laughed. "All my life, I've felt kinda lost, like I was a stray even though I had friends, and a dad…" He raised his eyes. "For the first time, I don't…I don't feel that way. I feel like I've found the people I belong with. Even you, fuzz-for-brains," he told Genrou, who glared. "It's crazy, but…even though I've known y'all for all of ten minutes, I feel like we've been together forever."

I hadn't been without a reincarnated seishi close by since I was in preschool; that's when Gen-chan and I had met, and we'd stuck together ever since. Our past lives probably had more to do with that than any similarities between us. And even when I was younger than that, there had been people from the book: Rokou, my parents…and when I was less than a year old, Kourin. But nothing said that all the reincarnated seishi would be born into the same families as in the book. Sai had told me that his parents were totally different from world to world, and he never had any siblings, even half siblings, like he'd had in Konan. And Doukun was fairly certain that his family was different, too; he had an older sister and two younger brothers in this life, and only one brother, older, before. I wondered how my life would have been different if I'd been born in the company of strangers, people who didn't understand me, even on a subconscious level. It would have been lonely, that's for sure. Sai and I had never discussed this aspect of his past before, and I'd always known he'd been lonely, searching for his friends for so long…but I'd never really realized the deeper implications. Not fitting in, not just on the outside, but on the inside, too. Knowing that, somewhere out there, there were people waiting to find you…waiting for _you _to find _them_. And maybe not finding them for a long, long time.

Maybe that explained why Tom remembered so much about the other world. I'd had Gen-chan, and then Miaka and Taka and Doukun and Myojuan; I'd taken my life for granted, never felt anything was wrong, because nothing _was _wrong; I was with the people I was _supposed _to be with. If I'd been alone, and felt alone, I know I would've wondered why. It was wondering, I guess, coupled with whatever dreams he'd had, that had provided Tom with the truth.

"We'll help you find them," I said suddenly, before I knew what I was saying. Everyone turned and looked at me, and I stared around at them for a while; then, realizing I'd spoken out loud, I had to hurry to clarify. "I…I mean, the other Genbu seishi. We'll help you find them."

"The others," Tom said, rather dreamily. "Then we can all be together again."

I smiled at his happiness, and Myojuan called from the front, "Well. While your offer is really very sweet, Ryuuen, I think you'd do well to add the fact that, _before _we help him, we have to take care of a certain problem concerning one of the Seiryuu seishi's attempt to rule the world."

__

Oh, yeah. Well, I knew that.

Tom, however, had not. His eyes bugged out, and he tilted his head. "Euhh… 'scuse me? What's all this, now?"

I was about to explain, when all of a sudden, Ayuru said, "No. Save it for later."

"But…"

"Ryuuen." He turned to face me, appearing calm, but obviously intending to be obeyed. His eyes were hard…but I didn't think that hardness was directed toward me. "It's too much. Don't discuss it any more; it's enough for now."

I regarded him silently for a while, and realized…Ayuru didn't trust Tom. For some reason…he didn't trust him. And suddenly, belatedly, I remembered that Miboshi had certain skills when it came to making people evil. Chuin had been less than nice, certainly. And though that little shell he'd had might have been the cause of it, since he'd gone back to normal after I'd stepped on it, we had all decided that we couldn't be sure whether it had been the shell or Miboshi's influence that had done the changing.

__

Does he think Tom has already been found by Miboshi, and corrupted? Well, that made me feel absolutely horrible. Exactly how stupid _was _I, for crying out loud??! I invite a perfect stranger, albeit one whom I recognize on some strange psychological level, to travel with us, spill the beans about us being seishi in case he hadn't been _completely _sure of his target, and then attempt to explain our plan of action for _thwarting _the floating gnome? How naïve and trusting _was _I?? Gen-chan was right; I was nothing more than a little boy, a stupid little boy who wanted to believe that everyone was good at heart. I'd trusted Tom, I trusted Chuin when he was Sai and look what happened _there_; I was such a burden, I made myself sick. Making everyone worry about me, making it easy for potentially evil seishi to worm their ways past our defenses… 

Tom, not recognizing my bout of self-chastisement, just shrugged. "Hey, I understand; too much is too much, I get that. I s'pose it's weird for y'all, suddenly pickin someone like me off the street. 'Sweird for me too, I tell ya, but…I'm glad I'm here."

There was a tense silence as I mulled over my dumb assumption, and the others, too, I suppose. I wondered if Ayuru sensed something else about Tom; maybe…maybe Tom was Miboshi himself!! He could enter the bodies of random people, so what if he was Tom and ahhhhh!!!! STUPID RYUUEN!!!!! If I'd had anything hard to bang my head against…

__

Heyyy, the window!

"Ahem," said Sai, trying to break the uncomfortable quiet. "Why not start the radio, Ayuru-kun?"

Ayuru took a moment before reaching out slowly and turning the radio on; immediately, the vehicle was filled with banjo playing and harmonizing female voices, and I lay my head back against the headrest and sighed.

__

I'm such a nuisance…I should've just stayed at home.

"Heyyy!" Tom exclaimed. "Y'all like the Dixie Chicks?? Rock on!!" Immediately, he began to sing along, much to the dismay of Gen-chan, who snatched up his tessen from the ground and shook it menacingly at the singing boy. 

"_Ya better fuckin stop that right this goddamn minute or you're fuckin shish kabob, cowboy!!_" he roared.

"Not in the VAN, Genrou!!!" Myojuan reminded him roughly, and Ayuru brought a hand to his temple, sighing.

A pyromaniac with a flame-throwing weapon, a former evil shogun, a driver with a bad temper, a stupid kid with screwed-up ideas of trust, and the possible reincarnation-slash-possessed body of the guy who was causing all these problems in the first place. I groaned in my head. 

It was gonna be a _looooong _trip.

****

  
TBC…

YET ANOTHER STORY AKUGI Presents:

The Ryuuen and Ayuru Comedy Hour!!

Ryuuen: Ne, Ayuru-kun! 

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Ayuru: Hai, Ryuu-chan?

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Ryuuen: Too bad Hikitsu only has one eye, huh?

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Ayuru: Indeed. I bet he wishes he had…**sings** Two eyes, twooo…lalalalalalala!

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Ryuuen: Maybe he and Chichiri should have glass ones made, or something; then at least they won't have to wear an eyepatch and a mask!

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Ayuru: Yes, they should get… **sings** New eyes, neewwww…lalalalalalala!

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Ryuuen: But then again, they might have problems finding glass eyes. I mean, not many people need them, all things considered.

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Ayuru: You're quite right; they're very rare. There are… **sings** Few eyes, fewwww…

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Ryuuen: And of course, they wouldn't be like the old ones.

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Ayuru: No. They'd be fake. They wouldn't be…**sings** True eyes, truuuuuue…

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Ryuuen: Maybe there's some sort of spell they can cast, you know, to bring their eyes back!! I bet Chichiri could do something like that, if he wasn't wrapped up in the scar being a symbol of remembering his past…

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Ayuru: But you're right; it would be nice if they… **sings** Grew eyes, grewwww…

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Ryuuen: And then they'd be happy, and they'd say, "Woo! Eyes! Woo!" ^____^

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Ayuru: …

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Ryuuen: ^_^;;;

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Ayuru: Get off the stage.

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Ryuuen: Awww…

(Mouse-chan is assuming that y'all will've heard Nakago's character song, Blue Eyes Blue. **nodnod** ^_~ )


	17. Talk About Karma!

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Warnings: Bandit language, bad restaurant etiquette, subconscious cuddling, lalalala.

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Notes: Howdyyyyy! I have a ton and a half of reading to do this semester! ^_^;; I have NINETEEN books for my German history class alone, PLUS A PACKET. GAHHH. But anyway, I'll try to write when I'm not reading or doing papers and all that. **nodnod** Oooohh, and for all of you who might, for some bizarre reason, be wondering what the heck is up with Fires of Destiny…ehehe. I haven't abandoned it. I actually worked on the next chapter recently. I just have to be in a certain (non-sappy) mood to write it; it might go (very) slowly, but it WILL BE DONE!!! Really truly. I must appease the goddess that is Kaze-chan. ^_~ As always, thanks to everyone who's reviewed! 

Saihitei no Miko: I got the mp3 for Blue Eyes Blue from WinMX, which you can download online. ^_^ Otherwise, I think it's on the Seiryuu Counter-Attack CD, which you can purchase for about $12 at Animecastle.com, which is a very cheap online anime store. ^_^ 

Neko-chan: Your reviews crack me up! Never worry about them being too long! Long reviews gooood! ^_~

qkslvr: Get some sleep!! ^_~

Sano: Worry not, your Boshis are coming up soon. ^__^

Yifiig: Yes, indeedy, Hikitsu's seishi symbol's on his eye. ^_^ But Ryuuen doesn't know that. ^_~

Roku-chan: You're a sex addict. :P 

Everyone else: Ya know I love ya! ^___^ 

****

YET ANOTHER STORY

Chapter Seventeen:

Talk About Karma!

"I don't sense anything from him," said Ayuru, quiet and solemn. "Not a thing."

Sai and I blinked, and my eyes darted in the direction of our table in the restaurant we'd stopped at for dinner; naturally, as we were hiding in the hallway near the bathrooms, I couldn't see much.

"Nothing?" Sai said, frowning, and Ayuru shook his head, mouth set firmly.

"But…he's not Miboshi, then, right? He's not a seishi turned evil by whatever spells Miboshi might have?" I asked hopefully.

"I don't know how those things work," Ayuru replied. "But I know the bond I feel with you, and with him…it's just blank. He could be anyone. He could be a raving lunatic who somehow got hold of the information he divulged about our universe. He could be one of Miboshi's henchmen…though that seems highly unlikely, as Miboshi held other lives in scorn, and would have nothing to do with those who weren't seishi."

"Or he could be someone from the book that only _knew _one of the seishi," I added, remembering my former ideas. "You know, like Kouji…er, he's one of Genrou's friends who was also there in the book," I explained to Ayuru. "Or Kouran. Or Shouka."

Sai sighed, taking a step back and leaning against the wood-paneled wall. His arms were folded across his chest, and he frowned at the ground. "He must be linked to _us_, somehow, since we recognize him. But I can't remember meeting anyone who looked like that when I lived back then. I know you can't, either, Ryuuen, nor Myojuan, nor Genrou…so he must know one of the others."

"Chichiri!" I said, keeping my voice down, though I was excited. "He said he remembered someone with one eye, and I thought it was Hikitsu, but it could be Chichiri!"

"I just want to caution you," Ayuru continued, "about letting too much be known. Until you discover exactly who he is, or was, it would be wise to keep discussion to a minimum."

I fidgeted, thinking he was addressing me in particular. "I…I'm really sorry, guys…I was just excited, and I didn't think…"

"Ryuuen." I looked up hesitantly to see Sai shaking his head at me, smiling. "Believe it or not, everything in the world is not _your fault_. I was talking to him just as much as you were, and even Myojuan said a few things."

"Ryuuen, it is by no means your fault," Ayuru added. "You felt a connection with this boy; it was natural that you wanted to trust him. It's highly likely that he means no harm; a little time, however, would be desirable before launching into great detail."

Although I was still dubious, it was something, at least, to know they didn't blame me. I felt a little better, and gave them both a small smile. "Well, if Nakago says so."

"He does, indeed," Ayuru agreed with a solemn nod. "Now. It would also be wise to return to the table before Genrou breaks something…like Tom's head." He cocked an eyebrow tiredly, and Sai chuckled, putting an arm around my shoulders as we walked back to the table. I put my own arm around his waist, smiling widely and thinking to myself that, no matter what had happened to make me undesirable, I was the luckiest person in the world.

Tom was _not _dead, it turned out, but sitting next to Myojuan with his hands in his lap, swaying from side to side and looking around the place with large eyes. The food still hadn't come, and both Genrou and Myojuan looked the worse for it; Genrou was still sulking, his arms crossed on the table and his head buried in them, and Myojuan was staring straight ahead at nothing, his eyes rather glazed. As Ayuru sat down next to Myojuan and Sai and I approached, Tom stopped swaying and moved his eyes to us.

"Say," he said, "y'all goin out, or somethin?"

Genrou took the opportunity to slam his head down on the table, and I lowered myself into the seat beside him with bright red cheeks.

"Don't get me wrong!" Tom was quick to exclaim. "I mean, I think it's great and all, you two decidin to give society a kick in the ass." He gave a firm nod. "I think so many things'd be better if homos got the same legal treatment as the rest of us! But since the goddamn Republican government's backed by the goddamn church… Shit, Ryuuen! Don't look like that; be _proud_ a yerself!"

__

Ooh, time to play Count The Staring People!! One…Two…Five million and threeee…

"Look, will ya shut the fuck _up_??" Genrou hissed. "They're _proud_, okay?? They're fuckin _burstin_, but like any _normal _people, maybe they don't wanna fuckin _announce it to the entire world_!!!"

"Genrou. Please," Sai begged, again rubbing his nose with his forefinger. "I'm sure he didn't mean any harm; _please _stop shouting."

Immediately, of course, Gen-chan was offended. "Oh, so _this _is what I fuckin get when I try ta defend you assholes???! Fine, then; just fuckin _fine_!! Next time you two're harassed or fuckin threatened, I'll just mind my own fuckin _business_ and let ya both get the shit beat outa ya!"

"Well, shit, I ain't makin as big a deal as _you_!!" Tom retorted. 

"Well, I wouldn't've had ta fuckin shout in the first place if you weren't such a fuckin _moron_!!"

"Not half as big a moron as _you_, you fire-headed, fang-toothed, dust-eatin, pathetic excuse for a warrior!!!!!"

This did not bode well for Genrou's Anger On-Anger Off switch, and a stream of curses as long as the Pennsylvania Turnpike was soon spewing from his mouth like water from Buckingham Fountain. To make matters worse, and _more _people stare at us, Tom started cussin right back, punctuating his own attack with stereotypical dialectal insults. Sinking in my chair, I remembered that, at one point, we had vowed never to take Genrou out to eat ever ever ever again, and I wished we'd kept that vow.

To our relief, Ayuru put an end to it. Slowly and deliberately, he put both hands on the table in front of him and stood, glaring icily at both Genrou and Tom, reaching his full height and looming over everyone. Reformed or not, the guy was still scary, and Tom and Genrou stopped in the middle of a curse, staring in poorly disguised fright at the big ex-shogun.

Ayuru remained there for a few moments, regarding them stonily, before sitting back down. "Thank you."

I was half afraid the waiter would come and tell us to leave, but I guess we were too potentially dangerous for them to risk it. The guy came out rather quickly, whipped our drinks onto the table, and retreated just as fast; after a few minutes, most people stopped staring at us, too, and went back to their dinners. When I finally looked back across the table at Genrou and Tom, Genrou was sulking _again_ and muttering something under his breath, and Tom…

I blinked.

Tom, it appeared, was…snuggling with Myojuan.

He'd leaned to the side, and had wrapped both his arms around one of Myojuan's, resting his head on Myojuan's upper arm. As I watched, he rubbed his face against our friend's sleeve, nuzzling.

I blinked again, my jaw falling open. Myojuan himself had been frozen into immobility, his eyes bugging out…I mean, what did one _do _when a total stranger started hugging one out of the blue?? 

"What the _fuck_?" Gen-chan exclaimed. 

Tom just looked at him, uncomprehending… Then, suddenly, his eyes went huge and he shoved himself away quickly, flushing red. "I…I didn't mean it!" he cried. 

"What, it was a fuckin _subconscious _cuddle??"

__

Who is this guy?? I asked myself, astounded, as Tom immediately began to defend himself…loudly. _Who on earth…_

But then, all at once…

__

Holy high-blooming cows!! 

"Ahh!" I exclaimed. "NO WAY!"

__

The coloring…the recognition…

"Tama," Myojuan said, disbelief in his eyes, and Tom stopped himself in mid-protest, looking quickly over at Myojuan with a shocked expression on his face.

"_Tama_??!" snorted Genrou. "No _way _he's fuckin Tama; Tama's a fuckin _cat_!!"

"Alllll right, fellas!" said the waiter, suddenly appearing with a tray full of food. His rather forced smile betrayed his uneasiness at even being near us. "Who had the fish?"

"Ah…" Tom said, raising his hand, still stunned.

"HOLY SHIT!!" said Genrou, and our poor waiter jumped back three feet, skillfully balancing the plates on the tray.

"It all makes sense!" I said, grinning. "We recognized you, and Ayuru didn't… You remember a guy with one eye, and you spent all that time with Chichiri!"

"Uhhh…hold up," said Tom, holding up his hand to slow me down. "Hold up a darn minute, now…_who _didja say I was, and _why _does this explain me, uhh…and Myojuan just now?"

"Oh my god," said Ayuru, deadpan. "He was the cat."

"_Cat_??" Tom exclaimed, a little indignant. "_Who's _a cat??"

"How the fuck did _that _happen??"

"What the heck're ya _doin_??!" Tom cried as Myojuan dazedly reached out a hand and started scratching the boy's head. I started laughing, I couldn't help myself. Tama-neko had been reincarnated into a human!! How useful was _that_??

I mean, talk about karma!!

"I'm testing the theory," Myojuan mumbled. "Tama always loved to have his head scratched…"

"Well, look here, pal; you guys are nice and all, but I ain't no freakin c… ahhhhhh!" A shiver seemed to run through Tom, a dopey smile replacing the look of indignation as he closed his eyes and leaned toward Myojuan again.

"Whoooo's a pretty boy," our big friend cooed.

Meanwhile, my bones had turned to rubber, and I was laughing so hard my stomach hurt and tears were leaking from my eyes. When Sai reached over to pat me on the back, I grabbed his sleeve and pointed across at Myojuan and Tom in an obvious explanation for my behavior. Then I looked over at Genrou and laughed even harder at his incredulous expression. He looked like he'd just seen Tom turn into a giant turkey, or something.

"Ummmm," said the waiter, sounding as if he'd rather be fighting moth men in outer space than serving us, "Spaghetti with marinara sauce?"

It was my food, but when I tried to raise my hand, it wouldn't go up all the way. I had lost all control of my muscles. Luckily, Sai was there to direct the dinners of those incapacitated by laughter or surprise, and he placed my dish before me and leaned in. 

"I can see how amusing the situation is," he said, laughter evident in his voice, "but I saw you put those pretzels in your bag, and I never saw you take them out again. Therefore, if you do not start eating in five seconds, I will feed you to Ayuru."

If this was supposed to make me stop laughing, it failed miserably. Ayuru apparently possessed hearing beyond the normal human range, and at Sai's teasing words, he turned such a glare at my boyfriend that my laughter became so violent as to be completely silent, and I gasped for breath without much luck.

"Juan," said Genrou through clenched teeth, "stop. Petting. The fuckin. Gas boy."

"You won't be homeless any more," Myojuan was saying fondly to Tom, who was again nuzzling Myojuan's sleeve. "I'll take you home with me. We'll buy you a nice futon, and lots and lots of tuna…"

"GYAAAHHH!!!! GET A FUCKIN ROOM!!" my best friend exploded, throwing his hamburger at Tom and hitting him in the face. "And SHUT THE FUCK UP, Ryuuen!!! STOP FUCKIN LAUGHING!!!"

A familiar hand suddenly reached out, placing its palm on the opposite side of my head and drawing me over. As my head came to rest on Sai's shoulder, his hand gently stroking my hair in an effort to calm me down, my hysteria was gradually replaced by giggles, a product of both Sai's effective efforts and newfound lovesickness. Gleefully, I watched as Genrou and Ayuru shared a meaningful look, silently communicating that neither one of them would give in to peer pressure and start petting the other.

Tom had picked up the hamburger, finally detaching himself from Myojuan with a rather feline smirk—ehehe—and had taken a sizable bite of it, chewing deliberately slowly. Gen-chan just glowered and shoved eight french fries into his mouth at once. When I'd started breathing regularly again and Sai had pointedly handed me my fork, removing his hand from my head, I set about eating, keeping one eye on Tama-neko and thinking how cool it was that reincarnation could cross species barriers.

"I'm sorry," Sai said to Tom when silence had once again fallen at the table, its occupants now engaged in eating their nearly cold dinners. "This does mean that you're no longer a seishi. But it doesn't make you any less important in our eyes. I'm not sure how much you remember, but you helped us out quite a few times."

"Hell, this explains so goddamn much!" Tom was musing around his mouthful of food. Evidently, he'd progressed past the denial stage and was now embracing his newfound catness. "Why I like fish so much, why my ears itch all the time, why I keep having dreams where I'm a cat, why I can see in the dark…"

"Excuse me, but…wouldn't that make it…slightly obvious?" Sai inquired tactfully.

He shrugged. "Iunno, I thought it was like a, like one of them symbolic dreams or somethin."

"Symbolic of how ya used to be a fuckin _cat_??" Gen-chan said dryly.

"Uh-huh, and I'm sure none a y'all's ever dreamt you was somethin else," Tom said accusingly. "Like a cat or a dog or a piece of dryer lint!"

We stared at him.

He sighed. "What I _mean _is, there're dreams and there're _dreams_, y'know? Like, all those dreams with y'all, I knew those were real. But I've also dreamed, y'know, that my dad was a giant potato. And _that _sure's hell ain't true! I didn't have strong feelins of truth in the cat dreams like I did with the others, so I thought, well…ta hell with 'em! They're just stupid cat dreams!"

"But you can see in the dark?" I pressed. "That's what you said, right?"

"Thassright." He nodded. "Clear's day."

"That's a pretty nifty power!"

"Yup, it comes in handy."

"Ex…..cuse me, sir…sir…madam," came a voice, and we all looked up to see a different waiter, a tall man with oily black hair and wearing a badge that said "STEVE McPHERSON: Manager," and who apparently thought I was a woman, "I'm sorry to intrude, but we have many people waiting for seating…"

"Kick US outa the fuckin restaurant, WILL YA??!!!" Gen-chan exclaimed, red-faced, standing up ferociously. 

The man blanched, but held his ground with courage. "Well, perhaps if you and your…friends…could make an effort not to be so, er…enthusiastic…it might…"

"Talkin down to us like we was shoeless white trash??" Tom said, standing as well. "You better not do what I think y'all're thinkin a doin, or I fuckin swear, I'll be makin a few calls to the Better Business Bureau! Thassright, I ain't bluffin!! Tremble in yer shoes, little weasel man!"

"_Hell, _yeah!!" said Genrou approvingly. "Tell 'em, Fluffy! We aren't settin a fuckin _foot _outa this fuckin place until each and every one of us is _done fuckin eatin_!!" 

~*~

Two minutes later, dusting our pants off from where management had tossed us in the snow, we traipsed back to the van.

"Well," said Sai, "we've had more than our fair share of blunders in restaurant etiquette, but I must say, that's the first time we've ever been _kicked out _of one. What a story to tell to the others!"

"Shut the hell up," Genrou and Tom growled, and I grabbed Sai's hand and squeezed.

__

They lost their battle, but at least they're on the same side now. _And that's always a good thing_.

And soon, with Tom and Genrou protesting their unfair treatment all the way, we were back on the gray winter road.

****

TBC…

Notes: Okayyyyy, I know at least _five _of you knew who he was!!! Anyone else guess? ^_~

YET ANOTHER STORY AKUGI!!! Take One: ****

Ayuru: I don't sense anything from him. Not a thing.

****

Ryuuen: **narrating** Sai and I blinked, and my eyes darted in the direction of our table in the restaurant we'd stopped at for dinner; naturally, as we were hiding in the hallway near the bathrooms…

****

Ayuru: Hold up. I gotta pee. **goes into the bathroom**

YET ANOTHER STORY AKUGI!!!! Take Two: ****

Myojuan: Whooooo's a pretty boy???

****

Ryuuen & Sai: **raising hands** I am!!!


	18. Pillow Talk but not the gross kind!

****

Warnings: Sap. Lah di dah. And yes, more random singing. Woohoo! Ahh…and despite the fact that the chapter title does have certain connotations, it fits the chapter, so blehhh. I will state for the record that there is no talk of sex in this chapter. They just…talk in bed. And that can be pillow talk, too!!!! Jeeeeeez…

****

Notes: Ahhh, here it is! YAS! ^_^;; My humble apologies to everyone who's emailed me without a reply. ^^;; (Especially you, Kryssa!!) I promise I will get around to emails soon. **nodnod** I'm still overburdened with reading and research, though, so that's my excuse. You may ask, "Mouse-chan, why do you have time to update your stories and not reply to your emails??!" To which I will reply, "Uhhhh…Iunnoooooo!! I'm sorryyyyy!!!" and cry. But I'll get back to you soon. ^_~ Honto ni.

****

YET ANOTHER STORY

Chapter 18:

Pillow Talk

(…but not the gross kind!!!)

Miaka called Sai's cell phone at about seven o'clock to see if we were okay and on our way. He'd barely said hello to her when I started bouncing in my seat, begging him to let me talk to her. 

"Lemme talk, Sai! Lemme talk lemme talk lemme talk!"

"Excuse me," he said into the phone, without changing his expression. "I believe Ryuuen would like to speak with you, and it appears to be urgent." He passed it over to me, and I beamed at him, holding it to my ear.

"_Whazzaaaaaaaaaaaap_??!?!" I said, and she giggled on the other end, repeating my greeting. Even though she couldn't see me, I smiled; I loved Miaka, I truly did. She was like another sister to me…she _had _been my sister, in fact, in the other life. Well. Not technically, of course. But after I became friends with her, and aware of my duty to protect her…it was like getting a second chance with Kourin. I hadn't been able to save Kourin, but I could still save Miaka…and I had, hadn't I? I had. But even in this life, we were similar in many ways, maybe even more similar than Kourin and I were at the moment. Kourin and I had been almost inseparable as young children, but as we grew up, we developed different interests, different ambitions. We never clashed over them, we were just…two different people. 

__

I should call Kourin. I haven't seen her forever.

"How's everything going?" Miaka asked above the sounds of the highway. In the background, I could hear Doukun going on about something that sounded scientific and complicated, and I smiled even wider.

"It's good!" I replied. "We're headed toward…uhh…Nebraska, I think. We're in Iowa right now."

"Tell her who we fuckin _found_," Genrou piped up from the back.

"Really?" She sounded surprised. "Nebraska?? That's where _we _are!"

I blinked. "It…it is?"

"Yeah! There must be _lots _of seishi over here, then!"

"Well, we can arrange to meet somewhere, then!" I exclaimed, excited. She babbled something to Houjun, who was probably driving, and he babbled something back.

"Houjun says if it's convenient, we should definitely all be together. But for now, we have a lead, and he says we should keep following it," she relayed. "He says it's possible that we're being led to two different places anyway, so it's best not to interfere with it."

I nodded. "Okay, sounds good. Let's keep in touch about where we are, then."

"Okay. …Is… Uh, did you get…_him _to come with you?" was her next question, her happiness slipping just slightly.

I sighed. "Yeah, Ayuru's here." My eyes wandered to the man in question, and I thought I saw his shoulders tense. 

There was a slight pause. "Is he…okay?"

"He's…he's nice, Miaka," I said, trying to keep my voice low. I didn't know whether I should let Ayuru hear me or not, since I didn't want to appear as though I was plainly sucking up to him—which I wasn't—but I didn't want him _not _to hear me and therefore think I was saying nasty things about him. "I think you'd like him. He's different; he's…nice."

She let out a sigh, as though she didn't quite accept it. I didn't blame her, because unless she met him, she'd still think of him as Nakago.

"He likes the _Dixie Chicks_," I added, in way of character-building, and she gave an incredulous giggle.

"You're joking, Ryuu-chan!!"

"Nooo, I'm serious, it's true!" I laughed, and I heard the others chuckling around me, too. Well, Myojuan and Sai and Tom, at least. Gen-chan was probably rolling his eyes.

She laughed, too, and I heard her turn the phone away from her mouth and announce to the others what I'd just said. The surprised noises they made at this gem of reincarnated knowledge made me giggle even more.

"That's really funny," she said, trying to contain herself, but soon, she grew solemn. "But…be careful around him, okay? He's…he's unpredictable."

"Okay," I agreed.

"How are you?" Her voice was softer.

"You already asked that."

"No, I didn't. How are _you_?" she repeated. 

I didn't want to answer her, and struggled around for something to say. "I'm okay," I finally said. 

__

Don't talk about this, Miaka. You'll ruin everything.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." I wondered how Chuin was doing, suddenly remembering that he was in the same car as Miaka and the others, but forced myself not to ask. I didn't need to open those doors at that point. Everything was going so well. "Ahh, guess what! Guess who we found!"

"Don't change the subject, Ryuu-chan, _please_."

"No, no, really, guess who we found!" 

She sighed, clearly not liking my tactics, but if it got us away from the subject, I didn't really care. "Who? Another seishi?"

"Not exactly," I giggled. "But it's someone from the book."

"Someone from the book?? You found someone else from the book??!" She was excited now. Mission accomplished.

"You'll never guess who it iiiiiiis," I sang, leaning back in the seat and folding my legs up to sit cross-legged. 

"It's not a seishi??"

"Nnnnope."

She thought. I could almost hear the little gears in her mind working. "Is it someone from…the palace?"

"Kiiiiiinda," I teased.

She rattled off the names of advisers, and I denied each one. She began naming women in the harem, and I kept on denying them.

"Give me a hint!" she pleaded.

"Mmmm…okayyyy, but it might give it away."

"SO???!!! I wish you'd just _tell _me!"

I laughed. "Easy, girl! Okay, uhh, let's see. Mitsukake had two great loves in his life. One was Shouka, and the other waaaaaaaaas…."

"OH MY GOD!!!!" she shrieked, causing me to wince and hold the phone away from my ear. Genrou, meanwhile, was cracking up and poking fun at poor Tom, who retaliated by grabbing Genrou in a headlock and pulling his hair. Miaka went on and on about our discovery, babbling like an idiot, and then asked if she could talk to him. Grinning, I handed the phone back to Tom, who promptly dropped Gen-chan and accepted it.

"It's Miaka," I told him. "You know, the miko?"

Blinking dazedly, he put the phone to his ear. "Uhhhh…hullo? …Ehehehe, yeah, me, too, believe me! …Uh…yeah, I still like fish…"

As the girl spoke to her long-lost feline friend, I relayed what she'd said—minus the question about my own well-being and the uncertainty about Ayuru—to the others. Tom soon passed the phone to Gen-chan so he could rave about finding his tessen, and from the sound of things, she cautioned him about using it dangerously. He was…slightly offended.

"For fuck's sake, Miaka, I know what I'm fuckin _doin_ with the thing, it's not like I _don't_!! It's not like I've accidentally fuckin torched entire towns…_NO_, I will not use it to make fuckin _smores_ when we see ya again!!!!! It's a fuckin _weapon of mass destruction_, not a fuckin _campfire accessory_! Ahh, shit, don't _whine_…"

Eventually, with the rest of us laughing silently in the background, he said goodbye to Miaka and clicked the cell phone off, handing it back to Sai, who carefully placed it back in his pocket. 

"Juan," he called, "she wanted to talk to ya, too, but I said you were drivin the fuckin van and we didn't want her to fuckin squeal and surprise ya and make ya crash and kill us all."

I looked toward Myojuan, who gave a thumbs up.

"Man," Gen-chan was saying, shaking his head and digging around in his bag. "That girl cares way too fuckin much about food." And with that, he unwrapped one of his gas station cupcakes and took a huge bite.

~*~

We stopped at a Holiday Inn a few hours later, exhausted from our day on the road. Our two rooms were joined by a go-between door, so we kept close together; after Gen-chan started a minor debate about who should room with whom, I quickly suggested that Ayuru share a room with me and Sai. I knew Gen-chan wouldn't want to stay with him, and I didn't want the poor guy to feel like the last one picked for the team. Or, in this case, the bed.

Genrou grudgingly accepted this arrangement, though I have a feeling, after our talk in the van and all the other stuff that had happened, he'd wanted to be in the same room with me. While this was sweet, I didn't think it was very diplomatic to stick the two "new people" into the same room, so I didn't let on that I knew he was disappointed. He and Tom had been getting along well since the restaurant incident, aside from a few hair-pulling and teasing incidents, so I figured they'd be fine together.

Ayuru opted to take a nightly shower rather than delay our departure with a morning one, so he hopped right into the bathroom and started running the water. I changed quickly into my pajamas while Sai was looking at the room service menu, and brushed my teeth dry, spitting into a plastic cup, so I didn't have to wait for Ayuru to finish before going to sleep.

"Would you like something?" Sai asked, holding up the menu at me.

I shook my head. "If I eat something this late, I won't be able to fall asleep. And I just brushed my teeth."

He placed it back on the table and fixed me with a look. "You hardly ate anything at dinner."

"I couldn't help it," I giggled, crawling into bed. "We got kicked out before I had the chance. What I had was good, though…and at least it was free."

"Well," he said sternly, "you're going to have a large breakfast tomorrow, whether you like it or not."

"_Okay_, Aunt Jemima." I made a face at him, and smiled. He smiled, too, but frowned immediately afterward.

"Oh, Ryuuen…I forgot," he murmured, taking a step closer to me. "I forgot about the bed thing…should we move the mattress to the floor?"

I was confused for a while before I remembered my recent foray into bed-o-phobia. I hadn't even thought about it when I'd climbed into the hotel bed, so maybe… "I…I'm okay," I told him, smiling. "I'm okay with this. I didn't even notice."

"Are you sure?" He still looked worried.

I nodded, grinning and raising my arms above my head. "I'm cuuuuured!" _Well. At least there's ONE thing I don't have to worry about anymore._

He hesitated, but finally decided I wasn't bluffing. Hurrying to my side, he kissed my cheek in celebration, then told me he was going into the other room to wash his face. I nodded, and to my relief, he left the go-between door ajar so I could hear him. (Some things, unfortunately, would take longer to fade.) I could also hear Tom and Gen-chan arguing about whether to watch The Godfather or The Crocodile Hunter on TV, and poor Myojuan begging them to turn it off and go to bed.

Tuning them out, listening to the water running in the bathroom, I stared thinking of random things for no apparent reason, purposely avoiding beds and my leftover idiosyncrasies. And when Sai came back, gently suggesting to the TV-watchers that they let the driver of the van get his sleep before closing the door between us once more, I couldn't help but voice one of these random things. 

"Sai?"

"Hm?"

I hesitated. "Do you…do you really think I'm beautiful?"

He turned to look at me questioningly, undoing the top buttons of his shirt, and I shrank down in the bed, hiding my nose with the quilt. "Ryuuen…_yes_. A thousand times yes. I don't say such things lightly, you know."

With a despondent sigh, I tried to ignore the fact that he was shrugging out of the shirt and starting on his pants. It didn't work, and I blushed, staring at the ugly brown flower pattern of the hotel comforter. "But…boys aren't _supposed _to be beautiful."

"Sorry?"

I pulled the thing down to my chin so it wouldn't muffle my voice. "Boys aren't _supposed _to be beautiful," I repeated, mumbling. 

He folded his clothes and placed them on the chair, and I knew it was safe to look at him again. For some illogical reason, it wasn't seeing Sai in his boxers and undershirt that bothered me; it was watching him take off his outerwear. I'm just weird like that, I guess.

"My darling," he said, jovial, "you, of all people, should know that societal views on gender should not be listened to. It doesn't matter whom the media portrays as looking one way or the other. You're beautiful, and you're _you_. Do you think it matters to me whether you're a boy or a girl?"

"I know it doesn't," I said quietly. "And…well. Now that you mention it, I've never really seen myself as a boy or a girl; I'm just _me_. I never really identified with the stereotype of either."

"As it should be," he nodded, smiling and crawling into bed. "If everyone thought the way you did, just did what they wanted instead of what society wanted, they'd be the happier for it. With reference to gender ideals, of course, not killing random people in the streets."

"It's still weird sometimes," I said. "People I don't know always think I'm a girl, and they give me coupons for mascara, and ask me to sample perfume and free handouts of Midol and all that stuff…don't laugh at me," I giggled, swatting him with my extra pillow. "They _do_. And it shouldn't bug me, but it _does_."

"Well." He lowered his head onto his pillow, facing me so we were almost nose to nose. "Would it make you feel better if I told you that people thought _I _was a girl until I was sixteen?"

My eyes went wide with shock, and he wiggled an eyebrow at me. "Sai! No way!"

"Mm," he affirmed. "I still had my hair long, but I never liked to pull it back. I was thinner, and my voice wasn't as deep. My clothes were always clean, as well."

I was bewildered. I had never considered Sai to be in the least bit effeminate, despite his nice skin and long hair, so this was strange news, indeed. He chuckled at my expression, and I giggled, too, having been stricken with a thought.

"What's so funny?" he asked, pretending to be hurt. "Are you mocking my youthful plight?"

"If we would've met each other back then," I said, giggling harder, "people would've thought we were lesbians!"

He saw the ironic humor in that, and continued laughing. "Well, at least we still could have joined the GSA."

"Well, we could have no matter what! 'Gay/_Straight_ Alliance,' right?" I winked. "Rokou had such a hard time with that. He joined it for me, you know, and then everyone in the high school picked on him, too. He didn't quit, though. Gen-chan calls him a coward, and he is, to some extent; but he sure wasn't a coward when it mattered."

Sai smiled. "I'd love to meet him."

"Eheh," I said. "I think we can put that off for a few years, at least."

"Why?" He looked confused.

I opened my mouth to remind him that my father didn't know I was gay, but then shut it again, not being able to remember if Sai and I had actually _talked _about that yet. I'd told him about Rokou, Kourin, Mom and her hippieness…_ Crap_.

"Ryuuen?" Sai poked me gently in the chest. "Why so long?"

"Uhh." I rolled my eyes, embarrassed. "Well, it's like this…" 

He waited patiently as I studied the ceiling, trying to think of some non-embarrassing way to get my point across. 

"Would you mind dressing up as a girl when you meet my dad?" I asked brightly, then hid my head under the blankets.

There were a few long moments of silence before he rested his hand on my quilt-covered head and said, "You haven't told him?"

"Mmph," I said.

"I can't say I ever had this problem," he continued gently. "My parents both died before I dated anyone, so it never came up. But…are you planning on telling him?"

"No," I said. "Not at this juncture. No."

He was quiet for a little bit. "But your mother knows, right? And both of your siblings?"

I nodded.

"Are you afraid to tell him?"

By then, I was having oxygen problems, so I lifted up the edge of the blanket to free my nose and mouth, but kept the rest of me covered. "I'm not…_afraid_," I said. "I just don't want things to be awkward, and I know they would be. I'm not afraid he'll disown me or stick me in therapy or anything like that. He's not like that. It would just be…weeeeeeeird."

"What did your mother say when she found out?"

"It wouldn't be the same, Sai! She's a _democrat_; he's a _republican_!"

"I didn't ask whether it would be the same or not. I asked what she _said_."

I let out a little breath, moving my jaw to the side as I thought. "She…she said she thought so. She said I liked Archie from Horatio Hornblower _way _too much to be straight."

His hand shook, and I heard him try to muffle a snicker. 

"And then she started crying," I continued softly, "and I thought it was because of what I'd told her. But she was smiling, too, and…she hugged me and said it wasn't because of me. It was because…she knew I was going to run into all sorts of people who would look down on me for that; it would be a hard life, she said, and she would never wish a hard life on any of her children." Why was this so much easier to say when my eyes were blinded by the covers? "And she kissed me and she told me I was brave, and that she was so proud of me for telling her…"

Another pause, and then he had drawn the ugly comforter down, revealing my ruffled hair and the tear that had somehow snaked its way down past my nose. I don't know how _that _happened. 

He stared at me for a while, petting my hair back down, before leaning forward and kissing me on the forehead. "You _are _brave," he said, nearly whispering. "And I'm proud of you, too."

I smiled at him, already feeling the rebel tear begin to dry before he wiped it away. "Thanks," I said. "But you know, that's wrong on so many levels. If you keep imitating my mom, I'm gonna put myself in therapy; I'm sure I've developed some sort of complex."

He laughed again, softly. "What did your mother say about telling your father?"

"Aren't we done with this conversation yet?" I sighed.

"Not quite."

I surrendered. "She said she would leave it up to me. She said she would never lie directly to him, but promised, if he asked, to direct the question to me rather than to tell him herself. I don't think he's asked yet. I don't think he wants to know."

"How long has it been since you told your mother?"

I counted. "Four years, I think. I don't really remember. Kourin's known forever; it's like she's psychically linked to me, or something. And Rokou found out when I was fifteen."

"How long have _you _known?"

"My goodness," I teased, pressing his nose with my forefinger. "Don't we have a lot of questions today! Well, I don't remember that one. It's not something I realized all of a sudden, you know. It just kinda…grew on me. How about _you_?" 

He smiled. "To tell the truth, I didn't know I was gay until I met Miaka and Taka."

__

…Whaaa?

I blinked. "Uhhh…exactly…why?" _Please don't tell me you used to have a thing for Taka please don't tell me you used to have a thing for Taka oh my GOD how weird would that be?!?!?!_

"Well." He was playing with my hair again. "Think about it, sweetie. I've remembered loving you since I was able to think. But how was I to know whether you'd been born as a boy or a girl? I didn't know until I met Miaka and Taka, and they told me all about you. That you wore the same sweatshirt every day. That you liked Harry Potter and British history and spaghetti with tomato sauce, and that you had an embarrassing obsession with *Nsync that lasted over a month…"

I was beet red by that point. "Ugh…they told you about _that_?"

His smile broadened. "But I would have loved you either way. Girl or boy, man or woman…I would have loved you."

Well, for crying out loud, what could I say to that?!?! Not much, as it turned out! I was completely lost for words at his explanation, and could only scoot closer and hug him tightly; he would never cease to amaze me, nor would the fact that I'd somehow ended up with someone like him. 

"So, does…" I trailed off. "Does that mean you're bi?"

"No," he replied. "It means I love you."

And I smiled against his shoulder. "You're such a romantic sap."

"I'm not the one who's crying." 

"Aww…shut up."

He pulled away, grinning, and kissed my nose. "I claim this nose in the name of His Majesty Saihitei Seishuku, Emperor of Kounan!" he declared imperially.

"What the hell, ya goof?" I giggled. One of the best things about being Sai's boyfriend was the fact that I got to see him goofy like this. He never acted this way in front of anyone else, though, and it made me feel special that he did with me.

The game wasn't over yet, though. He kissed my forehead, then, and said, "And this!" Then he kissed my left cheek—"And this!"—my right cheek—"And this!"—my right ear—"And this!"—my lips—"And this!"—and on and on and on, until I was giggling like a lunatic, trying unsuccessfully to push him away. 

When he himself was finally laughing hard enough to deter his mouth from kissing me further, he leaned up again, a huge grin on his face. "Aha! Now I own the entire left side of your head, and half of the right side, as well! Victory is mine."

"My gosh, how uncivilized!" I giggled. "If you would have asked nicely, I would've given it to you of my own free will."

He raised an eyebrow. "Really, sweetheart, that doesn't make for a pleasant picture; I fear you might frighten small children if relieved of half of your head."

The shower shut off abruptly, and I blinked, having almost forgotten that Ayuru was even _there_. Well. The Shogun of Kutou certainly took long showers. 

"Anyway," said Sai, laying back down and pulling me closer, circling my shoulders with his arm. "Complete change of subject. When this is all over, I'd like to take you to Chicago. Would you like that?"

I smiled. "Sure. To do what?"

"I thought we'd see a show."

"Okay," I agreed. "What show?"

"Your choice. I know Miss Saigon is playing this summer. Otherwise there's Ragtime at the Chicago Theater, or La Traviata at the Opera House…and a production of The Mikado at Northwestern."

I giggled. "You certainly know lots about the theater schedule. But I'd like to see The Mikado. I like Gilbert and Sullivan."

"I know." He rubbed my nose with his. "I do, as well." As I blinked sleepily, he started singing quietly: "Here's a how-de-do…if I marry you…when your time has come to perish, then the maiden whom you cherish must be slaughtered, too! Here's a how-de-do…here's a how-de-do…"

I giggled, as he was singing the female lead, but yawned and humored him with the second verse. "Here's a pretty mess…In a month, or less…I must die without a wedding, let the bitter tears I'm shedding witness my distress…here's a pretty mess, here's a pretty mess…"

"Here's a state of things, to her life she clings…" 

Startled, we both realized that neither of us had been singing, and looked toward the bathroom door. Ayuru stood there with a towel around his shoulders, dressed in nothing but a pair of long pajama bottoms and looking as serious as ever.

"Matrimonial devotion doesn't seem to suit her notion, burial it brings," he continued nonchalantly. "Here's a state of things…here's a state of things…"

I turned to Sai and beamed, and we all quietly sang the last part in surprisingly bearable three-part harmony.

"With a passion that's intense   
I worship aaaaand aaaadore,   
But the laws of common sense   
We oughtn't toooo iiiiignore. 
If what he says is true,   
'Tis death to marry _you_! (Sai and I pointed at each other teasingly, and I giggled.)  
Here's a pretty state of things!   
Here's a pretty how-de-do!   
Here's a pretty state of things!   
A pretty state of things!"
Sai: Here's a how-de-do…
Me: Here's a how-de-do…
Ayuru: Here's a how-de-do…   
  

All of us: For if what he says is true,   
I cannot, cannot marry you!  
Here's…a…pre…tty…pre…tty…state…of…things!"
By this time, I was laughing almost uncontrollably. What had started out as a sweet little sappy song between myself and Sai had somehow turned into a big-scale chorus number. So when we all went for the last line—"_Here's_ a pretty how-do-do!"—I couldn't even get it out, just hid my face in Sai's shoulder and laughed. Nakago singing an English operetta while drying his hair with a towel was probably the number one source of my mirth.
When it had ended, and I dared to glance up at Ayuru and not laugh, I saw his serious face angled at the door. Following his gaze, I saw Gen-chan and Tom standing there, staring at us like we were trying on high heels, or something.
"You guys," Gen-chan stated bluntly, "are _SO. GAY._"
Sai and I cracked up, and Ayuru's mouth twitched upward a little.
"Cultured," he corrected. 
Tom shook his head. "Uhh…whatever, y'all," he said skeptically, and closed the door once more, leaving us to laugh ourselves to sleep.
****TBC…
Notes: Ahahaha…ahem. Okay. Just call me the Gilbert and Sullivan Evangelist. I thought I'd give a brief explanation of the song contained within this chapter, to which the MIDI file can be found here:

http://math.boisestate.edu/gas/mikado/html/how_de_do.html

Anyway. The main gist of the song is this: Ko-Ko is the Lord High Executioner of Japan, and he's betrothed to a girl named Yum-Yum. However, a guy named Nanki-Poo is _also _in love with Yum-Yum, and what's more, she loves _him_. So. A letter comes from the Mikado (the Emperor) telling Ko-Ko that he needs to execute someone or suffer the consequences (he hasn't done his job in years), but through a series of complex events, the first person on the waiting list to be executed is Ko-Ko himself. Ko-Ko then happens upon Nanki-Poo, who is about to kill himself because Yum-Yum is engaged to Ko-Ko, and Ko-Ko persuades him to be executed, instead, since he's going to die anyway. To this, Nanki-Poo replies that he'll be executed if he can marry Yum-Yum first: that way, he'll be married to her for a month, but after he's executed, she'd be a widow, and Ko-Ko can marry her as planned. Not knowing what else to do, Ko-Ko agrees to this. (**catches breath**)

A few scenes later, however, Pooh-Bah, an aristocrat who holds most of the titles in the country, makes it known to Ko-Ko, Yum-Yum, and Nanki-Poo that if a married man is executed, then by law, his wife must be buried alive. (This does not happen often, however, since in the world of Gilbert and Sullivan's Japan, the only crime punishable by death is flirting, and married men don't flirt. I think it's supposed to be a satire. --; ) So, rightfully upset, they sing the song above. **nod** Whew. 

Sai sings Yum-Yum's part, just because it's the first verse. Then Nuriko sings Nanki-Poo's part, and Ayuru sings Ko-Ko's part. ^_^;;; Ahhhehem. Anyway.


	19. What The Heck Does A Goose Have To Do Wi...

****

Warning: Hugging, lots of food, and…I dunno. 

****

Notes: Whazzaaap, everyone? ^_^ I don't have much to say…uhh…I need to go do homework now, as I've been putting it off all day. ^_^; Anyway, thanks for reading, everyone! **glomp!** 

****

YET ANOTHER STORY

Chapter Nineteen:

What The Heck Does A Goose  
Have To Do With Anything??!

When my eyes fluttered open the next morning and I found myself staring at Ayuru in the bed across the room—sleeping like a vampire, straight as a log with his nose pointed toward the ceiling—I thought for a moment I was dreaming again. Any second, the scary part of the nightmare would come, and Sai's arms would tighten uncomfortably around me, and I'd turn my head and realize that it wasn't Sai at all. But nothing happened. And gradually, my heartbeat slowing, it dawned on me that I wasn't asleep, after all.

__

What? I didn't have a nightmare at all?

Nothing? No creepy Sai? No Ashitare? Not even Genrou dressed as the Red Death?

Stubbornly, I waited for something, _anything_, to happen, because there was no way my R.E.M. mentality was gonna let me off _that _quickly. But as the minutes past and nothing changed, I felt a small smile begin to form on my face, a smile that grew and grew.

__

I…I didn't have a nightmare! And here I thought I'd be haunted for weeks, at least! I'm beating it! I'm really really beating it; I slept in a bed, I didn't have a nightmare! I don't need to be afraid! I don't need…

"GYAAAAAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!"

__

Would that my life were not so full of ironies.

Scrambling up and in the bed with wide eyes, I realized that the scream had come from the adjoining room, and that it sounded suspiciously like Genrou. Panic tore at my chest, and I stared at the go-between door…what had happened?? Was someone in trouble? Was Gen-chan hurt?

"Sai…"

"I know, I know," he muttered urgently, brushing his hand briefly against my back to show me he was awake and alert. I felt him slide out of bed, and noticed that Ayuru, too, had heard the scream. The big police sergeant was sitting up in his own bed, poised as if to pounce on something the second it tried to come through the door; his eyes were narrowed and fixed on the other room, the muscles in his arms taut.

For my part, I took a breath and joined Sai as he stepped cautiously to the door, grabbing onto the back of his undershirt so I could yank him backward in case anything should spring out at him. I could tell he was nervous, and he reached back and put his own hand on _my _pajama shirt, assumedly for the same purpose. However, I was confident that my power would give me the advantage in this particular situation.

We crept nearer and nearer to the door; my grip on Sai's shirt tightened as his hand went slowly for the knob, my breath coming hard… 

But suddenly, the door was flung open from the other side, sending me and Sai sprawling backwards onto the floor. I squawked as my backside collided with the thin carpeting, and Sai—who had somehow managed to maneuver me in front of him so that he didn't fall on top of me and smoosh me—gave a wheeze as my elbow connected with his stomach. And there, in the light of the door frame, was Genrou, wearing the most horrified look I'd ever seen him wear.

"Gen-chan, what's wrong?" I panted, worried, trying to get back up again. "Are…are you okay? What happened?" I looked him up and down quickly; he didn't appear to be injured, but…

"You don't wanna fuckin go in there, you guys," he said blankly, shaking his head back and forth. 

My heart caught in my throat as Sai helped me to my feet, my thoughts naturally going to Myojuan and Tom… Before Sai could stop me, I darted into the next room with a sudden burst of anxious energy, and skidded to a halt at the far bed, where two still forms lay beneath the brown comforter…

…I expected at least a little bit of blood. Maybe one of them curled up in the corner with some kind of mental problem, or something. I expected one of them to be dead, or showing obvious signs of being turned evil, or making Blair Witch symbols out of the floral arrangement. 

I was completely unprepared and somewhat relieved, therefore, to find that Gen-chan's cry of horror had been caused by the sight of Tom curled up at Myojuan's side, snuggling into his chest.

Relief washed over me in waves so heavy it made my knees weak, and Sai's arm going suddenly around my shoulders as I giggled breathlessly was possibly the only thing that kept me standing. Sai, too, was breathing more evenly, letting out periodic gasps of laughter as he ran a hand through his hair.

The guilty couple remained blissfully unaware of the world around them. How they had remained asleep after the antics of their screeching roommate was beyond me. As we looked down on them and laughed, I felt Ayuru and Genrou come up behind us, stopping at our side.

"What the fuck is _wrong _with them??!" Gen-chan hissed desperately. "Juan…Juan has a fuckin _girlfriend_! At least with you two it's fuckin _exclusive, _and you stick to _one fuckin preference_, but _shit_!!! Are they gay, or _not_??!!"

I reached out a hand and patted his shoulder. "I don't think so, Gen-chan. They're just…close," I giggled. "And you know the logic behind it anyway, right? It should make sense to _you_, of all people!"

"Yeah, yeah, I _know_," he complained. "But it's fuckin _weird_!"

Sai chuckled. "Well, since most of us are awake…let's order breakfast." He wandered off into our room again, and I patted Gen-chan once more and followed him.

~*~

Apparently, when Sai said "breakfast," what he actually meant was "the entire morning food supply of the northern USA." Room service brought up about five trays of food: blueberry pancakes, warm cinnamon rolls with icing, bacon, sausage, muffins, scrambled eggs, a whole plate of fruit… I stared at the food in amazement, fresh from my shower and shivering in the sweater Sai had given me for Christmas, wondering how in _hell _we were supposed to eat everything. It was like that scene from A Little Princess where the girls in the attic start out with nothing and wake up with warm blankets and slippers and food on the table…come to think of it, that was a little like my _life_.

"Holy _shit_!" Gen-chan exclaimed when he saw the buffet laid out on the low counter by the TV, just as Tom walked in and said, "Holy Virgin Mary, 's that all fer _us_, or fer some Seishi army y'all invited over?!"

"We hardly had one decent meal yesterday," Sai admonished. "And no, Genrou, Hostess cupcakes do _not _count. If we're in danger of running into Miboshi, we can't continue to eat like that. Or…_not _eat like that, as the case may be."

"No arguments here!" Gen-chan agreed, going to the table and helping himself.

"Well…thanks a bunch, Sai," Tom said gratefully, nodding at my boyfriend. "It's real nice of you to bring this up for all'v us."

Sai nodded back. "It's the least I can do." Turning to me, he took my hand and led me over to the food. Immediately, he shot me a startled glance, pausing to lift the hand he was holding and place it between both of his own. "You always have such cold hands," he admonished, like there was something I could do about it. "I don't think I've ever met anyone with such cold hands."

"My circulation is weird," I mumbled sheepishly. "I don't really notice it most of the time…"

He snaked an arm around me, leaning me against him as we continued to walk. "Well, come eat something. That will warm you up."

Usually, I wasn't a big breakfast person, but everything smelled really good, and I couldn't very well ignore it when Sai had gone through all the trouble of ordering it. So I had two blueberry pancakes and syrup, some bacon, some fruit, and a cup of orange tea. We laughed and joked—well, Ayuru just ate and listened, but in a friendly sort of way—and it was almost like everything was normal, like there was no evil in the world. Myojuan, who had been in the shower when the food had arrived, came in about fifteen minutes after we'd started eating, and everything was still stacked high on the plates.

"If only Miaka were here," I sighed, and everyone laughed. Ayuru even gave a lop-sided smile, and I figured he'd had at least one run-in with Miaka during which something edible had a role to play.

"Ahaha, and let me tell ya, Ryuuen," Tom laughed, changing the subject and pointing at me with a wedge of toast. "Those geese are awful dangerous things! You'd best stay away from 'em, ya coulda lost an eye!"

We fell silent, and I blinked at him in puzzlement. "Uhh…what?"

"They look cute and all, but damn me if they ain't the most vicious birds we got here!" he continued with a chuckle, and took another bite of food.

__

What…the hell??!

My gaze flickered to Gen-chan, who was now staring down at his plate in embarrassment. Myojuan was similarly silent, lowering the hand holding his fork and shooting a warning glance at the cat-boy.

"Gen-chan?" I asked quietly.

"Damn it, Fluffy, I told ya not to fuckin talk about it," my best friend growled, and Tom fell silent, surprised. Looking up, Gen-chan fixed me with apologetic eyes. "I, uhh…" he mumbled quietly, looking quickly down at the food before peering across at me again. "He wanted to know, ya know…what happened to your face." He made a gesture to the side of his mouth with his hand. "And I…told him."

Of its own accord, my own hand wandered to the bruise on my face, covering it up. I'd gotten so used to it, I didn't even notice it anymore, except when I touched it too hard, like the ones on my neck. I hadn't looked in a mirror for so long I'd almost forgotten about it. 

__

Well…it's natural he'd want to know. It's not like it's invisible, after all.

I forced a smile, and a laugh. "Hehe…yeah. Those stupid geese…"

The silence was so loud after that that I had to fight the urge to go turn on the TV. I felt Ayuru's eyes on me, and when I looked up, I saw they were filled with sympathy… and understanding.

__

He knows. He might not know the details, but he's smart. He knows.

This should have terrified me, but somehow…it made me feel comforted. Silent understanding, without having to explain everything… I didn't have to lie, and I didn't have to hide. Sai, meanwhile, had found my free hand under the table and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"Jeez, y'all, I…" Tom's voice broke the silence, soft and subdued. "I'm sorry. I shouldn'ta said anythin. It…it weren't really a goose…was it."

A shaky but genuine smile found its way to my mouth, and I looked over at him and shook my head sadly. With a sigh, he lowered his eyes, shoulders slumping; Sai leaned over to kiss my temple, and I exhaled, still smiling.

"Well," I said quietly, "does anyone want the last cinnamon roll?"

Choruses of "No! No, Ryuuen…go ahead, you have it…you take it…it's all yours!" rang through the room, and I held up my hands defensively.

"Hey!" I exclaimed. "I don't _want _the thing! I'm just trying to push it off on one of you guys, so Sai didn't spend all that money in vain!"

"Well, in _that _case," Gen-chan piped up, swooping down and snatching the thing from its basket. "Come to daddehhh!" 

~*~

We got our stuff packed up and lugged it downstairs, along with the leftover muffins and toast from breakfast in a paper bag. As Sai paid at the counter and Myojuan and Tom went to get the van, Genrou, Ayuru, and I stood between the twin sets of automatic glass doors with the luggage. As always, I realized belatedly that I could probably carry all the bags at once and save us the trouble of waiting; I still wasn't used to being so strong. In any case, though, I didn't want to draw negative attention to the group by displaying such superhero qualities, so maybe it was okay that I hadn't remembered.

"Ryuuen," said Genrou under his breath. "Look…I'm sorry about what happened at breakfast. The fuckin nitwit just asked outa the blue, and Mits and I didn't know what to say."

I glanced over at Ayuru, who was lingering on the other side of the entryway. But then…I guess I didn't really care if he heard us, anyway. He knew already. "It's okay," I told Gen-chan, smiling up at him. "What exactly did you _tell _him about me and geese?"

He folded his arms sullenly. "Nothin."

"Well, apparently you told him _something_," I teased, elbowing him—not too hard—in the ribs. "C'monnnn, what'd you tell him?"

"Noth…it…it was fuckin stupid, okay? It was the first fuckin thing I could think of, and fuckin _Mits _sure wasn't helpin any…"

"Gen-chaaaaaan," I pleaded, grabbing his arm and grinning. "Pleeeeeeeease tell me what you said, please please please please please…"

"Gahhh, all right, all _right_!!" he cried, pulling away. "I'll tell ya if ya fuckin _stop that_!"

I stopped immediately, folding my hands demurely in front of me.

"Fuckin pushy little jerk," he grumbled, glaring at me. "Fine, have it _your _fuckin way. I told him…I told him ya thought this goose was cute so ya…tried to kiss it and it pecked ya on the mouth."

I burst out laughing. "I tried to kiss a _goose_??!"

"Will ya shut the fuck up?" he hissed, eyes darting around. "Put a fuckin cork in it, for cryin out loud! Anyway, I'm just the one who said it; the moron didn't have to fuckin _believe _me! Fuckin gullible redneck!"

"Was it a boy goose or a girl goose?"

"How the fuck am _I _supposed to know?!?!?!?!" he roared. "It's a fuckin _alibi _I made up to save your fuckin _pride_! Does it _matter_???!!"

"Well, _yes_, it _matters_," I teased, pretending to be hurt. "If it was a girl goose, and goes around to all her goosey friends to tell them I've been turned straight, then what am I supposed to tell Sai, huh??"

"_Ryuuen_!"

"Then again…if it was a _boy_ goose, that might make it even worse! Because Sai _knows _I'm not straight, so if I kissed the girl goose, he'd _know _it wouldn't mean anything, but if I kissed a _boy _goose…"

"_SHUT…UP_!!!" he yelled, waving his arms at me. "It's a fuckin _goose_!!! And what's more, it's not even _REAL_!!! _You didn't really kiss the goddamn goose_!!!"

I laughed, and threw my arms around him before he saw me coming. "Aw, Gen-chan! I love ya!"

"Gack!" he cried, still waving his arms, trying to pull me off. "Stop it stop it stop it there are _people _fuckin _watchin us_!!!!!!"

Undaunted, I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. "I think you're the only goose I'll ever try to kiss."

He was mortified into immobility, and I skipped away before he could scream. What can I say? I was just in a hugging sort of mood…which is the defense I give to my next action, which was to hop over to Ayuru and hug _him_, as well. Or…I dunno. Maybe it was more than that. The guy just looked so sad sometimes, and combined with my propensity toward being a sap and my already hugging mood, well…I guess I just couldn't help it.

His body stiffened, and I froze.

__

Oh my god. I just…hugged…Nakago.

For a while, I was afraid to pull away. As Eddie Izzard so kindly reminded us, it's hard to get hit with a bazooka if you're attached to the gunner, and I certainly hoped the same thing was true with chi blasts.

__

I'm hugging Nakago oh my god oh my god I hope he doesn't kill me

But he didn't say anything…and after a moment of hesitation, he actually _lifted an arm _and patted me clumsily on the back.

__

Holy CRAP, is he hugging me BACK?!?!

Slowly, I worked up the courage to pull away, peering guiltily up into his face. And he was looking down at me with a small smile, and what could only be _fondness _in his eyes.

"S…sorry," I whispered, awed. He didn't answer, just smiled a little wider to tell me it was okay. Placing a hand on my shoulder, he pushed me gently away, moving toward the doors, which parted before him like a mechanical door-shaped Red Sea. Myojuan and Tom had just driven up in the van, and I smiled after him before looking behind me to see if Sai was coming.

He was.

"Keep your boyfriend on a fuckin leash," Gen-chan growled at him as he approached, finally able to speak once more, and grabbed his bags roughly. "He doesn't need to spread any more fuckin love." Making a face at me, he stalked outside and threw his stuff in the trunk. I shook my head at him; I knew he wasn't really mad. I hoped not, anyway. I didn't think so.

Sai, meanwhile, was looking at me questioningly. "Spreading the love?"

"Aw, I was just teasing him," I giggled. "I kissed him…on the cheek, on the _cheek_!"

"Well. I suppose I can allow that," he replied with a wink as we, too, went out to the van. At one time in my life, I would have been scared that he'd get jealous, or think I wasn't true to him, or something, even though that would never, ever happen. But he knew where my heart was, and he knew that would never change, not in a million years. It was a warm feeling, and I loved it.

Genrou and Tom had stolen the middle seats, which stuck me and Sai in the back. This was fine by me; it always took a long time for the inside of the van to warm up, and since the back seat was like a bench, I could sit close to Sai. Myojuan closed up the trunk and climbed into the front seat, and in just a few moments, we were on the road again.

We hadn't driven for ten minutes, however, when I heard the familiar classical ring of Sai's cell phone. I quickly leaned up so he could get it out of his pocket—we'd been cuddling non-grossly to keep warm—and he put it to his ear and answered.

"Hello?"

From the excited squeaking voice coming in muted echoes from the earpiece, I knew it was Miaka. 

__

Hmm. Wonder what she wants.

"R…_really_?" Sai straightened in his seat, his mouth hanging open a bit, his eyes wide. "You've… All right, slow down, please, Miaka…" The voice babbled on and on, and I peered up into Sai's face in search of an answer. He turned his head toward me and grinned, and I knew that, whatever it was, it was good news. "Sloane," he said, as if repeating something. "All right. …Yes, I'll tell them. I don't think we're far…yes. Say hello to everyone. …Yes, I'm very happy for you. Yes. Yes. Er…blueberry muffins."

I cocked an eyebrow.

"That's all. Well, maybe some toast. No, they won't go stale for a while… Miaka. Go tell Chichiri that we're on our way… Miaka, tell… All right, I'll make sure we save one for you. Now, go tell Chichiri we're coming. It shouldn't be more than a few hours. Okay. He loves you, too. …All right, I'll tell him…" With a look that was only slightly weary, he cupped his hand over the receiver and said, "Ryuuen, Miaka would like to say that she loves you."

I grinned. "I love you tooooo, Miakaaaaa!"

"Oh, sure, _thanks_," Gen-chan called. "Fuckin cold shoulder, whatever."

Sai rolled his eyes. "She now says she loves you, too. Now…"

"So she loves Ryuuen and Genrou, but not me?" Myojuan called from the front.

Sai closed his eyes in mild irritation, and I covered my mouth with my hand, giggling. "Yes…she loves EVERYONE. Now. Miaka. Go tell Chichiri we are coming, all right?…Okay. Ehe…I love you, too. Goodbye." With a sigh, he clicked the phone off. 

"What'd she say?" I asked, excited.

"She said she loved me the most of all," he said, lifting his head high.

"Saaaai," I laughed.

"Well. It seems that the others have had slightly better luck than we have," Sai explained, smiling again. "It _seems_…that they have found another Seiryuu seishi."

****

TBC…

YET ANOTHER STORY AKUGI, Special Edition!

News Flash: Suzaku Seishi reborn in local Panera!

Okay, so the other day, I was in Panera eating chicken noodle soup in a bread bowl and minding my own business, mulling over my notes for my German history class. Suddenly, I heard a strangely familiar voice…

****

Voice: Daaaaaa!

Startled, I looked up to find that Chichiri had, in fact, been reborn in the form of a cute little baby dressed in an orange T-shirt.

A point to know is that, at Panera, they call your name over a microphone when your order is ready. At our particular Panera, since there's a portion where one can eat outside if one desires, there are speakers that carry to the outside, as well. So, this very afternoon, I was walking home from the video store after renting four Bakaretsu Hunters videos (Sunday is Anime For $1 Day!), when I heard a _very _familiar name being called over the speakers…

****

Voice: Sai, your order is ready! Sai!

****

Me: O.O;;; Do I go in do I go in do I go in and see who it is??!?! OMG, what if it's really Sai??!? Ahh, who'm I kidding, Sai is in a story and if he did exist in real life the chances that his name would actually be Sai are very very slim but ahhhhh what if it's a sign and he's there and I miss my chance?!??!

I decided, however, to take control of my emotions and keep walking. My philosophy is, if it was meant to be, we'll run into each other eventually, anyway. ^_~ Ehehe. 

The Lesson: Next time you're in a Panera, be alert! You may run into some familiar people. ^_~


	20. Forgiveness

****

YET ANOTHER STORY

Chapter Twenty:

Forgiveness

"We're supposed to meet up with everyone in Sloane, Nebraska," Sai said. "Ayuru, could you please see where it is on the map?" Ayuru obediently reached for the glove compartment and opened Myojuan's Book O' Maps…or maybe it was Shouka's brother's Book O' Maps. Whatever, it was there.

"What all's in Sloane, Nebraska?" Tom blinked.

"Sai," I tugged on his sleeve, "who'd they find? You didn't say yet."

"Sorry," he said. "I just wanted us to know where we're headed first.They found Amiboshi in a Pizza Hut in Lincoln."

I grinned. "Aww, Amibooooshiiii!! He was so nice! …Well…until he tried to kill us with his flute and screwed up the whole summoning thing."

"There is that one little blemish to his fine name," Sai agreed. "Miaka said he has fragmented memories, but knew enough to believe them when they approached him."

"Does he still play that annoying fuckin flute?" Gen-chan growled.

"Truthfully, I didn't have the chance to inquire."

"Hey, what all's in Sloane, Nebraska?" Tom asked again, a little more firmly. "Ain't nothin there, from what I heard, 'cept a big old prison."

Sai took this in, nodding slowly. "Well," he said, "it's funny you should mention that."

"Oh no, what?" I said tentatively. "She wasn't calling you from inside a cell, was she?"

"No, no; nothing like that," Sai assured me. "It's just…Amiboshi, or Koutoku, as he's known now, seems to have a twin brother, just like in the past. And, also just like in the past, this twin brother seems to be…rather…" He fumbled for words. "Ir…irritable."

"So the fuckin twin's in prison, that what's up?" Genrou muttered.

"That would be what's up." Sai coughed into his left fist. "Miaka didn't give me the exact details of _why _he's there, but the fact is, he _is _there, and we have to get him out."

"Su…Suboshi…" I mumbled, and caught Sai's arm. "Suboshi…Sai, Taka's not gonna like that. He's _really _not gonna like that…"

He patted my hand. "Remember, it's in the past. I'm sure Taka will be wise enough to see past what happened in the past."

But something had sparked in my memory, the image of Tamahome with red in his eyes, glowing with rage, struggling toward the wall while the smell of blood hung in the air…

"I was there, Sai," I whispered. "I was there. I was there. And he's not gonna forgive so easily, not after that." Not just that, but how was Taka going to react to seeing Ayuru? How was _Ayuru _going to react to seeing _Taka_?? It was one thing to be around people you hurt in the past, but it was something completely different to meet someone who hurt _you_. We all knew this, but Ayuru…

__

Those kids that Suboshi killed, Tamahome's siblings…they're alive today. I've seen them. I've met them. So they're back in Taka's life now, they're not dead. Will that be enough to keep him in check? Will it? 

When we found those kids, all that blood, I cried in front of people for the first time in eight years… It was almost like Kourin, but so much more horrible…

"Stop," Sai breathed gently in my ear, his arms around me again. "Don't think about the past. What will happen, will happen. Worrying about it won't do you any good."

He was right. With effort, I took a deep breath and shut out my memories, closing my eyes until they were gone.

"Only about a hundred and fifty miles to Sloane," Myojuan called back to us. "We can do it in two hours or so."

"Fuckin Speedy Juanzales," Genrou mumbled. 

"All right. The others are farther south than we are, so it shouldn't take them much less than that," Sai said. 

~*~

It was a long two hours. Not only was I excited about seeing everyone again, I was anxious about the others meeting Ayuru, and Ayuru meeting them…and then there was the whole thing with seeing Chuin again, and I wondered exactly how _that _would pan out. I knew Sai wasn't gonna like it at all. I'd forgiven Ayuru, but Chuin had hurt us in _this _life, which made a whole lot of difference to Sai.

Then, of course, I began to realize that we had three out of seven Seiryuu seishi: Nakago, Tomo, and now Amiboshi. We knew where a fourth one was, and that the psycho fifth one had probably captured the sixth one. That must mean that we were close to whatever Final Battle Thing the fates had in store for us, and while that was kind of the _point _of our whole Quest For Seishi, I didn't like the Final Battle idea. They were potentially dangerous, after all. And if one of us got hurt, or even killed…

__

If anyone dies, it better be me, because I wouldn't be able to take it if it was anyone else.

"Hm?" Sai said, pulling his neck away so he could look me in the face.

__

Crap. I KNOW I didn't say that out loud.

But obviously, I had, so I just looked up and smiled and said, "All that breakfast made me really full. Pity me."

"Ohh, how sad," he said unconvincingly, but snuggled me fondly despite his teasing. "Ryuuen has a full stomach; the world mourns."

I sighed and leaned in closer, gripping his sweater more tightly. His was gold, to match his eyes; the one I wore was royal blue. I suppose that, to the casual observer, we looked like we were advertising some sort of sports event.

Insipidly, and making _sure _not to say it out loud this time, I promised myself that if _someone _had to die, it sure as hell wouldn't be Sai.

"Are we there yet?" Gen-chan called. He'd been doing so on and off for nearly twenty minutes, but Myojuan had been patient with him, perhaps to discourage him from attempting to annoy him further. 

"Actually…yes," Myojuan replied. "We'll be there soon."

"Didn'tcha see? The sign just said Sloane, Five Miles," Tom put in.

"Well, I wasn't on your side of the fuckin _van_, so I didn't _see _the sign."

"Aw, Gen-chan, that's too bad," I said. "You should open up your eyes and see the sign."

Sai groaned. "I _knew _that was coming."

"I saw the sign, I opened up my eyes and saw the sign, life is demaaanding without understaaanding…" Tom and I sang, though he gave it a slightly country twang, which was weird, for that song.

"Don't you fuckin start," Gen-chan growled warningly. 

"It's kinda weird that we're meeting at a prison," I continued, not phased. "Then again, I guess we don't really know the area well enough to pick out a restaurant to meet at, or anything."

"Yeah…at least this place has big brown signs," Tom agreed, gesturing to the side of the road where a sign saying "East Sloane Penitentiary" was posted right below the fast food exits.

We followed the signs without singing until we finally came to the place, big and gray with a watch tower at each corner, out in the middle of the wilderness. And when I say wilderness, I mean _prairie grass_. There was no trace of civilization in sight but the roads; I supposed that was pretty good planning, because those escaped prisoners wouldn't have anywhere convenient to hide out for a good ten miles in each direction. 

When I saw Houjun's car sitting in the outer parking lot, I nearly started bouncing in my seat. It really hadn't been that long since we'd seen the others, but given the danger that certainly surrounded us, I was overjoyed to be reunited with them again. A quick look around found them sitting in a grassy area and talking, and I figured they'd just had lunch, or one of Miaka's hourly snacks.

As soon as Myojuan parked, I pushed past Tom and Gen-chan and flew out the door, running over to the little picnic area. They saw me coming and smiled, and Miaka and Taka stood and hurried to meet me; Miaka grabbed someone sitting beside her and pulled him with her, and logic decreed that it had to be Amiboshi. Leaping into them, giggling, I put my arms around both of them. "MIAKATAKAAAAA!"

"A civilized hello to you, too!" Taka laughed. "How was the tr…?"

"Didja bring me a muffin??!" Miaka exclaimed, clamping her arms around my chest and trying to jump up and down. Taka sighed and rolled his eyes, but a smile played at the corner of his mouth. 

"Nice to see you, too," I said pointedly, looking down at her.

She stuck out her bottom lip. "Heyyy, I hugged you first, didn't I, Ryuu-chan?"

I shook my head, smiling. "Okay, okayyy…" 

"Oh! This is Koutoku," Miaka exclaimed, shoving Amiboshi forward. He was probably around the same age as everyone else, but on the younger end of the spectrum, with light brown hair held back by a headband—_even in this life, he didn't lose the freaking headband?!—_and was dressed in a ripped, baggy pair of jeans and a worn black T-shirt. I couldn't tell what the T-shirt was advertising since he was wearing one of those padded winter vest things; his was bright orange and made my eyes hurt. Goose bumps were plainly visible on his arms, leading me to question once again the _point _of this type of jacket. It couldn't fit over anything thicker than a flannel shirt; was it just some sort of plot by the People Who Want Everyone In The World To Get Frostbitten Arms Organization? 

…Then again, I realized I'd forgotten my own jacket in the van, so that made me even worse than he was.

Amiboshi smiled sheepishly and waved. "N…Nuriko-san," he greeted timidly, and I smiled back.

"It's nice to meet you again," I said, and we shook hands. He was taller than I was, but not by much. Not that I could really tell with any degree of accuracy. Well, at least Amiboshi seemed sane and serious about the whole being a reincarnated seishi business.

"Nice to meet you, too," he returned.

"Didja bring me a muffin??!" Miaka asked again, getting a little overexcited. "Sai said he would!"

Turning around, I saw the others approaching; Sai was toting a paper bag, which he raised and jiggled, showing that the cell-phone promise of baked goods had been remembered. 

"There he is!" Miaka crowed. "Ohhh! Ryuu-chan, Ryuu-chan! Introduce us to Tama-neko!" Grabbing my sleeve, she pulled me off in the opposite direction of the picnic to where Tom, Myojuan, and Genrou were walking. I found myself without voice to protest, she had moved so quickly (and skillfully snagged the muffins and toast from Sai as we passed), and a funny thought started inching its way into my head.

__

Ahhh, I get it. This is "Mission: Intercept Ryuuen Before He Sees Chuin." They must've planned it out beforehand. Howwwww sneaky.

Resigned, I let myself be dragged, but Tom needed no introduction. In no time, he and Miaka were jumping up and down and hugging each other, with Taka and Gen-chan as sweat-dropping bystanders. Myojuan continued on to join the others, and Ayuru…

I blinked, standing on my tiptoes to see over Gen-chan's shoulder. Ayuru was still hanging by the van, digging around in the trunk for…something. Detaching myself from Miaka's firm grip on my sweater, I headed back toward him.

He was probably scared. He knew he was going to meet at least one of his old seishi companions, as well as Miaka, whom he'd nearly raped, and Taka, whom he _had _to remember. Tamahome had found more negative attention at the hands of Nakago himself than the rest of us put together; we were mostly attacked by other seishi on his orders. Myself and Ashitare, Amiboshi at the ceremony, Miboshi and Chiriko… But Tamahome had been a prisoner in Kutou, I remembered, and for quite a while, as well. He _had _to remember that.

Ayuru didn't look up when I approached, but pretended to keep digging through the luggage in search of something. He reached out an arm suddenly and silently handed me my coat, then continued to look.

I accepted his offering; I'd been too excited to think about being cold when I'd run out of the van. "Thanks."

I was rewarded with a flicker out of the corner of his eyes and a tight smile. 

"Ahem," I cleared my throat, shrugging into my jacket and buttoning it up. "Whatcha lookin for?"

"My gloves." No hesitation.

I smiled at him. "Did you try your jacket pocket?"

He paused, then put a hand to the bulge in his pocket, where I'd seen him put his leather gloves before we left the hotel. Raising his eyes to meet mine, he did the tight smile thing again and nodded. "Thank you." He backed away and closed the trunk, then set about putting the gloves on.

"…Ayuru?" I ventured. 

He didn't respond, but I thought he cocked his head toward me the slightest bit.

I kinda wanted to ask him if he was okay, and give him some kind of peppy speech on acceptance, or something. But I didn't think he'd really respond well to that; I think he was still too proud, and kept his emotions too much in check. He wouldn't want us to think he was weak in any area at all, even when it was completely understandable. So I just smiled again and took his hand. "C'mon," I said. "I'll introduce you to everybody." And somehow, he let me guide him over to the others.

When we got there, I saw that Houjun and Myojuan had strategically placed themselves on either side of Sai, and Taka was guarding Genrou. I began wondering if they'd actually made _charts _or something to choreograph their attempt to keep the stress over Chuin to a minimum. All five of them were all the way across the circle from Chuin, who was sitting there hugging his knees and looking really pitiful. Upon seeing him, my heart gave one irregular beat and was silent; it wasn't at all the extreme emotional reaction that the others (and myself) had been expecting. Except for the whole stalking thing, it wasn't Chuin's looks that bothered me, because he hadn't looked like Chuin at all when he'd…you know. 

His shoulders were hunched up, either with cold or because he was trying to hide. He was shivering; again, it could have been because of the cold, or else…just emotional baggage manifesting itself physically. Slightly apart from the rest of the group, he looked like a high school outcast no one wanted to sit too close to for fear of damaging his or her fragile reputation. And as I stopped, mere feet away from the circle, my heart actually started to ache with his pain.

__

He didn't mean it. It wasn't his fault; whatever Miboshi did to him messed with his mind, because he NEVER would have done something so scary by himself. That whole thing with the restaurant, so long ago…well, if that had happened in broad daylight, chances are it wouldn't have been as bad. I really don't know. But he wouldn't have gone that far on his own…

"Ryuuen," Sai called, "come sit by me, sweetie."

I realized I'd been standing there mulling for a good amount of time, and probably gave the impression of one who was frozen by fear. Quickly, I looked up and smiled at Sai to prove him wrong on that count; his face was worried, and he kept darting looks over in Chuin's direction, as if the guy was gonna make a move for me at any second, or something.

__

Be brave, Ryuuen. Be brave. The strongest one is the one who forgives, remember? 

Taking a deep breath, my legs shaking despite myself, I walked to Chuin's side. 

__

I hope you know what you're doing, Body. The Mind doesn't need any more disturbances, thankyouverymuch…

Slowly, I sank to my knees beside him, my hand finally sliding from Ayuru's, who had stood with me all the while like a personal body guard. I was mildly aware of the aforementioned reincarnated shogun taking a seat between myself and Tom, and more aware still of the fact that Chuin had stiffened. 

Not knowing what else to say, I said, in a quiet voice, "Whazzaaaap?"

Slowly, he raised his head, peering out at me with wide yellow eyes.

__

the same eyes, the same eyes that Sai had when he was Sai and I knew they weren't his I knew they weren't his

for crying out loud, Ryuuen, do you know what you're doing? You can't handle this now, it's those eyes, those eyes…

But I wouldn't give in. Even though my memory had my by the throat, I wouldn't give in; I was stronger than that. I _knew _I was.

Chuin looked like he wanted to run away, or cry, or die, or all three at once. His face was pained, like he was expecting me to rip out his hair, or something; he had circles under his eyes that were even darker than mine were, and he looked pale to the point of ill health. Whatever intimidating qualities he'd had had completely disappeared, and he looked…almost childish, somehow.

I really didn't know what to say. "Whazzaaaap" had _hardly _been appropriate. But I had to show him I didn't hate him, that I'd forgiven him. Because…somewhere along the line, I had. So, with only a moment of hesitation, I leaned forward and hugged him.

I had become something of a hugging machine lately.

The moment I touched him, he shivered violently, and nearly jerked away; but I held on, and moments later, he gave up. With a shaky breath, he reached out tentative arms and placed them gently around my back; there was a part of me that was horrified by this, even disgusted, I'm ashamed to say. There was a part of me that didn't like him touching me _at all_, and tried to force the reasons why into my head. But I shut my eyes and beat that part into submission…and that's when Chuin started to cry.

"I'm…I'm so sorry…" he choked, barely above a whisper. "I'm so sorry, so sorry…"

I could only nod, not up for speaking just yet. It dawned on me that everyone was watching us, and that made me a little uncomfortable…but we wouldn't have been able to progress very far if there was so much tension between us, so I _had _to do this. I _had _to.

He cried a little bit more, then pulled away, looking at me with pleading eyes… When they were filled with tears, I found, they weren't so scary. "I would never hurt you, _never_," he wept. "I'm so sorry, Ryuuen…"

"_Goddammit_, Ryuuen!! I knew you were a fuckin pansy, but I didn't think you were _this _fuckin bad!!" Genrou roared. Lifting my head, I saw that he had stood up, and was clenching his fists, glaring at us. "After what that little piece of shit did, after what you fuckin went through, it's over just like _that_??!! What a fuckin _joke_!!!"

Chuin cringed, and I felt anger rising in my chest. Rising to my feet, I jutted out my jaw at my best friend. "Why don't you just leave him alone? It's _my _decision to forgive him, _not yours_!"

"I fuckin _saw_ what he did to you," he growled back, voice shaking. "I fuckin saw it in your eyes. If you woulda fuckin seen yourself that night…"

"It could've been _anyone_, Genrou!" I yelled, a familiar burning in my eyes. "It could've been _any one _of us! What if it was _you _that was taken by Miboshi?? What if it was Houjun, or Taka, or Sai??! If it was you who had your mind screwed around with, no matter what you did, we'd forgive you! No matter _what_!" I swallowed hard, suddenly feeling very tired. "No matter what you did," I repeated more quietly, "we would forgive you. Because it wouldn't really have been you; it would've been Miboshi. _Miboshi _was the one who attacked me. _Miboshi. _Not Chuin."

Gen-chan's eyes had widened slightly, his fists uncurling and hanging limply at his sides. His chest, formerly puffed up in righteous wolfish rage, seemed to have deflated like a balloon, leaving him empty; it would appear as it he'd not fully considered the possibility that someone _else _could have been taken and turned. It certainly would have been easier for Miboshi to hurt Miaka, taking people she knew and trusted and using them to…using them for his own means.

But he'd gotten Chuin, simply because Chuin was always alone. 

I sighed, tilting my chin down and wrapping my arms around myself. I should have guessed that this issue wasn't going to be resolved just by me taking steps to resolve it. My stupid over-protective friends were gonna make it more and more difficult.

I felt something brush against my arm, and looked up to see that Sai had come to my side without me even noticing. He took me gently by the shoulders, studying my face with a solemn expression, before drawing me into him and kissing my head. When he pulled away, he was wearing a little smile, so I gave him one in return; then, releasing me, he turned to Chuin, who was hugging his knees again and looking very afraid. 

The muscles in his jaw tightened as he looked at the former Seiryuu seishi, and I saw him struggle with himself. I think everyone else, even Amiboshi and Tom and Ayuru who were more or less out of the loop, was holding their breath; I know I was. I knew Sai could never completely forgive Chuin, even though I also knew he understood the truth behind the incident, with Miboshi as the instigator. But even so, he reached for Chuin's shaking hands, gently pulling the reluctant and frightened young man to his feet. They were about the same height, I noticed in slightly displaced surprise; I'd always pictured Sai as taller, maybe because he was a little heavier. 

My heart was beginning to pick up speed, sending echoes into my head as I waited for something to happen. And then…something did happen.

Sai, his mouth set firmly, took Chuin by the shoulders as he had me not three minutes before; slowly, he moved his head forward, stretching his neck upward, and brushed his lips against Chuin's pasty forehead.

"It wasn't your fault," he said quietly. "It wasn't your fault, and…you have my forgiveness."

Chuin's mouth fell open slightly, his bottom lip shaking as twin tears streaked down his face. He shut his eyes and lowered his head, and I swiped at my own eyes, which had, of course, started leaking again. I knew Chuin needed to hear those words, as much from Sai as from me.

Sai removed one arm from Chuin's shoulder and held it out to me, and I pressed myself into him, giving Chuin a tearful smile. He hesitated before smiling back, the expression somehow unfamiliar, as if he hadn't smiled in a long time. 

The thought sprang to my mind that Chuin really really REALLY needed a Sai. He needed someone to hug him and not be uncomfortable doing so; he needed someone to listen to him, to help him through whatever he was going through, so he wouldn't have to be lonely. And before I knew what was happening, I'd opened my mouth and said, in a somewhat clogged voice, "Chuin…I am _so _gonna hook you up with someone when this is all over."

And everyone laughed, even Chuin.

TBC… ****

YET ANOTHER STORY AKUGI!!!! Take One:

From the Author's Keyboard

Mouse-chan: **typing** "Ahem," I cleared my throat, shrugging into my jacket and buttoning it up. "Whatcha lookin for?"

"My gloves." No hesitation.

I smiled at him. "Did you try your jacket pocket?"

He paused, then put a hand to the bulge in his…oh god, Trixie's gonna have a field day with that. --;

(Love ya, Trixie. ^_~ )

****

Take Two:

Ryuuen: **narrating** My heart was beginning to pick up speed, sending echoes into my head as I waited for something to happen. And then…something did happen.

****

Sai: **bitch-slapping Chuin** NO ONE messes with MY Ryuu-chan and gets away with it!!! Eat dirt, sucka!!! 

^_^;; ehehe.

Take Three: ****

Ryuuen: **narrating again** …Leading me to question once again the _point _of this type of jacket. It couldn't fit over anything thicker than a flannel shirt; was it just some sort of plot by the People Who Want Everyone In The World To Get Frostbitten Arms Organization?

****

Hikitsu & Tomite: **sitting around in Hokkan rubbing their hands craftily** Bwahahahaha.

****

Tomite: Well…once we ship these stupid jackets to those stupid beach bums down in Kounan, our job will be complete!! 

****

Hikitsu: Wahaha. Is there anything else we can market that would make our job even easier? Invisible socks, or something like that?

****

Tomite: **opening fake Hokkan Fashion Magazine** I've done even better. We're shipping these things across to all the other lands; they're _supposed _to advertise "Traditional Hokkan Fashions," but we've really thrown them for a loop. Look at this: thin jackets, silk pants, dinky little shoes…

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Hikitsu: Will people actually be stupid enough to _buy _that stuff??!?! We live in the frozen north, for crying out loud!!

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Tomite: You'd be surprised. An order for Hokkan garb just came in from Eiyou. They want eight sets of traditional clothing.

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Both: AHAHahahahahahaHAHAHAHA!!! **diabolical laughter** ^_~

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And now, it's time for…

SOME YAS HAS COOL FANS MOMENTS!!!

There're some folks out there who've done some really cool YAS and AS-related arty stuff, and I really wanna share them with everyone else. ^____^ First off, there's Nurikitsune, who's done two pictures based on my stuff and posted them in her archive. ^_^n There's one of Ryuuen with his Christmas heart wreath socks, and then there's one of Tom. ^_____^ So go check them out, they're super spiffy! Check out her other pictures, too! One of my favorites is the Nuriko montage in colored pencil…it may be old, Nurikitsune, but it's really pwetty! Thanks again, if you're reading; you rock!!

Nurikitsune's artwork: http://www.side7.com/art/halebrow/gallery.html

And recently, Akane was nice enough to write a cute poem about New Year's Eve with the seishi, from Ryuuen's POV. ^_^ She claims she can't write poetry well, but I beg to differ. ^_~ It's totally sweet! Here it is:

Gen-chan's cursing in my ear,  
Miaka ringing in the new year  
Taka setting up the plates,   
Houjun and Doukun's rising debates  
  
Tom purring and nuzzling with care,  
Sai gently caressing my hair  
And me, remembering years that have passed,  
A great many that went by too fast  
  
Memories dark and memories bright,  
Playing Playstation all into the night  
Quiet nights at home with Sai,  
Days at school that passed us by  
  
As I lie upon the floor,   
I wonder how I lived before  
I smile at the warmth of my friends,  
And hope that our story never ends.

^___^n Awww, warm and fuzzy feelings!! Guys, I just wanna say thanks for liking my stories so much. You're both awesome, and I can't tell you how cool it is that you both were inspired to create something of your own after reading something I wrote. **hugs** ^____^

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	21. Destiny

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Warnings: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnothin…wait, oh yeah. Drama and sap. **slaps forehead** How could I have forgotten??!

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Notes: Hi, everyone. ^_^ I'm tired. I still have a page to write for my paper due tomorrow, but I'm tired. And naturally, I was working on this instead. Ehehe. ^_^;; Anyway. I hope you like it. ^_^ Thanks for reading! Again, I'm behind on my emails. ^_^; But it doesn't mean I don't like you, or anything! I'll reply soon, I promise. ^_^

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YET ANOTHER STORY

Chapter 21:

Destiny

We calmed down after only a few minutes, and we all sat down (well, those of us who were standing, anyway). The emotional overload had worn me out, and my eyelids felt heavy; crossing my legs beneath me, I leaned against Sai on the grass, his arm around my shoulders. Looking over, I saw that Chuin looked visibly less miserable, though he still appeared rather uncomfortable, dried tears streaking his pale cheeks.

__

Poor guy. He's really not that bad; he just tries too hard. 

Gen-chan's pride wasn't about to let him apologize in public for the shouting match we'd had, but he'd caught my eye a few times in the aftermath, and I could tell he was sending me major contrition signals. I just smiled at him; I knew he'd meant well, he just didn't put things in perspective. It _could _have been any of us who'd fallen victim to Miboshi; I didn't want to think about it any more than I had to, but it was true.

Myojuan was the first to speak. "I think we ought to start with introductions," he rumbled. "Although we all know each other from other lives, it's important to start things anew; as Ryuuen and Saihitei have shown us, forgiveness is the foundation upon which peace stands."

I blushed, and Sai squeezed my shoulder.

"Fuckin poetic today, aren'tcha?" Gen-chan mumbled.

Ignoring him, Myojuan continued. "Gentlemen…and Miaka…"—Miaka smiled and nodded at the inclusion—"I'd like to present to you Sgt. Ayuru Gi, of the Champaign County Police Department." 

Ayuru inclined his head slightly, but I could see the hesitation in his eyes. Shooting a worried gaze across at the others' faces, I saw that only Houjun was smiling. Miaka looked like she _wanted _to smile, but still looked dubious; Taka was staring at the ground as if lost in thought, and Doukun's jaw was clenched, but he kept his head held high. Amiboshi's mouth was shaking, and Chuin…Chuin had his knees to his face again, and was peering over at Ayuru almost shyly, his mouth hidden, with huge, fascinated eyes.

Tom received a slightly warmer welcome, but it was still a little dulled from the aftermath of meeting Ayuru. The black-capped young man was sitting up straight and beaming around at everyone, especially Houjun…and I decided that Myojuan would not be the _only _one who would soon be receiving feline snuggles. The big med student proceeded to introduce the rest of the Suzaku seishi for the benefit of the newcomers, and Houjun followed by going through the same process with Chuin and Koutoku Bu…though I didn't think I could ever call him that. Amiboshi came so much easier to my mind.

"I wish we had time for some invigorating ice-breaking activities," Doukun cut in almost sharply when the introductions had ended, "but we need to be quick about this. I sense him nearby; he's afraid, he won't attack us all together like this, but Suboshi is still in danger."

__

Miboshi. Miboshi's nearby; that's what he means.

"Ami…Koutoku," Sai said quietly, "might I ask why your brother has been imprisoned? He isn't…entirely dangerous, is he?"

Amiboshi fidgeted, his lips twisting into a self-conscious smile. "He's not…he's really not. It's really because of me he's in there," he said in a subdued voice. "There was a guy in our neighborhood who was always…giving me a hard time, and Shunkaku went after him one day…"

"This isn't important right now," Doukun interrupted. "We have a plan. We need to finish with the details and put it into play, before it's too late."

Houjun gave him a look, then glanced over at Amiboshi and Sai. "I'm sorry. Doukun's right, though; it doesn't matter why he's there, but we have to get him out, na no da."

"What's your plan?" Myojuan inquired.

"Houjun is going to transmogrify into some sort of minute flying arthropod," Doukun explained, solemn. "He needs to enter with one of us, who will ask to speak to Suboshi as a friend or relative; after the talk is done, Houjun will follow Suboshi to his cell, and, once there, will use his kasa to transport Suboshi back outside."

"Kasa?" I blinked.

Houjun reached for something sitting beside him, and held it up with a grin. It appeared to be a Chinese-style straw hat. "It's me who makes the magic, not the hat, no da," he said with a smile. "Luckily, I was able to find one before I was forced to experiment with different styles, na no da."

"Can you _do _that?" Tom breathed in awe. "Turn into a bug, I mean?"

Houjun shrugged and nodded. "It comes with the soul, na no da."

"What we need," Doukun sighed, "is someone who will go in with Houjun."

"Koutoku would be the logical choice," Sai said carefully, but he sounded as if he didn't think it would work, somehow. 

"We can't have any of the Seiryuu seishi in danger, no da," Houjun said solemnly. "If Miboshi captures one of the Suzaku, it would be bad enough; the more Seiryuu he has, though, the closer he is to summoning his god, no da."

"They've already excluded me from the running," Doukun said bitterly. "Apparently, I'm too blinded by my personal feelings toward Miboshi to be considered competent in this case."

"Miaka certainly can't go," Taka added, no longer lost in space. "They're after her. And as much as I myself would like to help out, I…I need to stay here, to protect her." 

"What about me, y'all?" Tom suggested, shrugging. "I ain't no seishi either way ya look at it. Ain't no danger in capturin me, and chances are, Mitsubishi wouldn't even recognize my life force, er whatever."

Houjun looked pensive. "It's a good thought," he said, "but it also means you have no seishi powers, no da. If, by chance, you _were _to be caught, no da, you'd have no means by which to protect yourself, na no da."

"I kin see in the _dark_," Tom mumbled, injured, crossing his arms.

"I'll go," someone said.

There was a long pause, and I looked around to see who had spoken; what I found, however, was that everyone was staring at _me_. Staring back at them, I felt my jaw drop slightly.

__

I…I didn't just say that. Did I? 

"Ryuuen," Sai said firmly, "_no_. No; you're not going. It's too dangerous."

I gazed up at him, my eyes wide, and felt a flutter of regret in my stomach. Yes, it was dangerous. Of course it was. But…I was a seishi. I _had _to do dangerous things.

Seeing my hesitation, his eyebrows drew together, and he put his hand on my face. "No," he said again. "I won't let you. You've already been through too much…"

"Saihitei, no da," Houjun murmured from across the circle. "Don't look now…but I don't think we have any choice in the matter, no da."

Sai's eyes went wide, and suddenly…I was aware that his face was tinged with red, as if someone was shining a red-tinted flashlight with fading batteries at him. Almost reluctantly, he tilted his head to look at my chest, and I followed suit. 

There, shining dully though the material of my jacket, was a glowing red…_blotch. _But we didn't have to be as smart as Doukun to figure out that it was coming from my seishi symbol.

"Wow," I mumbled, blinking. "Powerful wattage from that little sucker, huh?" Meeting Sai's eyes again, I was shocked to see that he looked like he was about to cry. His smooth bottom lip was actually shaking a little, and the hand on my face felt like it was trembling, as well…

"He's been chosen to go," I heard Myojuan say softly. "For some reason, Suzaku wants him…"

"No," Sai said again, stubbornly, and turned his head toward the others. "No; Suzaku _can't _want him to go. It's too much!" Facing me again, looking nearly desperate, he stroked my cheek. "Tell them it's too much," he pleaded. "Tell them you don't want to go, Ryuuen, and they won't make you. _Please_."

It was hurting my heart so much to see him this upset; he'd never been this openly fragile in front of anyone else, and only once or twice in front of me. He'd always try to be strong, to keep his calm…and he wanted to protect me so badly, it almost made me feel guilty. I knew that this protection stemmed from how much he loved me, though, and I wasn't one to argue with that. 

"Sai," I said, smiling sadly, "Houjun's right. I don't just glow like this for no reason, not when I'm just sitting. Maybe Suzaku knows something about what's going to happen; maybe there's something to do that only I can do, or something. Like break through bars." I shrugged.

He shook his head. "Last time you went off alone when you knew there was a Seiryuu seishi roaming around," he reminded me, "you wound up getting killed. Do you think Suzaku didn't have a hand in that, too?"

"Saihitei." 

Sai looked up at Myojuan, who'd spoken, and the big man regarded him at length before speaking again.

"He needs to go. He's been chosen; it's part of his destiny."

Clamping his lips together, Sai peered around at everyone, and found no support. Sympathy, yes; no one really liked the idea, I could tell, but it was out of our hands now. 

"I won't be alone," I reminded him, still smiling. "Houjun'll be with me, right?"

Turning back to me, Sai fixed me with a resentful look. "But he'll be a _fly_."

I couldn't help it; I tried to stop myself, but I snickered, and finally started giggling. The silence was broken by more quiet chuckles from around the circle, and Sai, searching for whatever it was that had been so funny, finally found the humor in it, too, and cracked a watery smile. 

"He'll be a very powerful fly, though," I giggled. "A fly with cool hair."

His response to that was to pull me to his chest, almost roughly. Surprised, my laughter ceased, my arms going automatically around him. "I just want you to be safe," he said, under his breath. "I don't want anything to happen to you. Promise me you'll be safe."

I smiled against him; we both knew that I had no way of knowing if such a promise would hold. "I promise," I said anyway. "I promise, Sai."

~*~

We approached the prison boldly a few minutes later. Well, _I _approached it; Houjun was hitching a free ride in my _ear_, of all places, in the form of a small fly. Surprisingly enough, I could hear him when he spoke to me, and felt like the Disney version of Aladdin. Unfortunately for Houjun's nerves, however, my hands kept shooting up by reflex to swat him away.

"Ryuuen," he said, his voice pitched much higher when he was so small, "it's just me up here, no da; _please _try to control your instincts."

"I'm trying," I apologized under my breath. "I'm sorry; usually, when a bug flies in my ear, it's not one of my best friends in disguise." My arm jerked up once more, but I managed to force it down. "Ahhh, sorry; it's got a mind of its own!"

Houjun sounded mildly stressed. "We're…almost there…no da… Just stuff it in your pocket, or something, na no da…"

"Aren't you cold, Houjun? Flies die in cold weather, right?"

"Thanks for reminding me, no da. That's why I'm sitting in your ear, na no da; I'm stealing your body heat."

"You sound like you're on helium."

"Shhhhh, no da! We're getting closer; don't let the guards see you talking to yourself, no da. That can only hurt us. Do you have your ID papers?"

"Mm," I confirmed. Ayuru, being familiar with the procedures of such institutions, had described to Houjun exactly what paperwork I'd need to get in to see Suboshi, after which Houjun had conjured up everything with my name.

My name, for the record, was Kari Bu. Suboshi's _sister_.

Everyone had agreed that the less suspicious I seemed, the easier it would be for me to get in. And the easiest and least suspicious thing I could do, apparently, was to pass myself off as a girl so they wouldn't have to go through the mandatory double-take of "Whaaaat??! You're a guy??! Are you _sure_??!" So, I went along with it. It was for an important undercover mission thing, so it didn't really bother me.

My heart pounding as we entered the building, I spotted the front desk and strode over to it. The guy sitting behind it was middle aged and balding, with a brown mustache; he looked up from his Tom Clancy novel and blinked at me. 

"Can I help you, miss?" he asked, gruff but pleasant.

__

So far, so good.

"Work it a little, no da," Houjun whispered.

__

…Don't make me hurt you, bug, I thought, but followed his instructions, shooting a sweet smile at the guard. "Hi," I greeted brightly. "I'm here to see Shunkaku Bu. Am I too early?" Ayuru had said that visiting usually began around two or three, so I was crossing my fingers and hoping that the timing was okay. Houjun would have crossed his fingers, too, I knew, if he had them.

The guard smiled back, setting his book down. "Naw, sweetheart, you're right on time! First one today; early bird gets the worm, eh?" Handing me a clipboard with a piece of gridded paper on it, he continued, "Now, have you been here before? I'm sure I'd remember if you had."

I batted my eyelids, trying to appear cute and moderately ditzy. "Well, no, sir; I haven't been to visit Shunnie yet, it's my first trip home since he…well, you know." I sure _hoped _he knew what Suboshi had done to wind up there, because _I _sure didn't.

"All right; I'll set you through the motions," he said kindly, and proceeded to do just that. All my papers seemed to pass just fine, and I signed my name—well, "Kari's" name—and the time I arrived on the clipboard. He then directed me down the hall, where, he explained, I would meet another guard who would search me for hidden weapons—he sounded like this, as far as I was concerned, was a joke—and have me put my coat and purse in a locker. 

__

It's not a purse, my mind insisted stubbornly. _It is a SATCHEL_. But I just smiled and thanked him, and he nodded back, not even giving me a glance over, to his credit. So, all straight men weren't scum, after all.

__

How comforting.

"You're doing fine, na no da," Houjun whispered. "He didn't even think twice, no da."

The man we approached around the corner was much bigger than Behind The Desk Guard, and my heart, which had calmed down slightly when everything was going so well, began to palpitate once more. 

__

Search me??! He's gonna SEARCH ME?!?!? Does he have to search… EVERYWHERE??!?! Because the game will be over immediately if he does!…

But when the guy turned to face me, his square-jawed face became gentle. "Good afternoon, miss," he greeted, nodding his head at me. "Who're you here to see?"

I took a breath. "Shunkaku Bu, please."

"Just a moment, please." He picked up the phone from where it hung on the wall nearby and asked briefly for "Bu" to be brought to the visiting area. When he put it down again, he took a step over to me…and it was all I could do not to take a step back.

"Please hang your coat and bag in one of the lockers," he said kindly, handing me a key that was hanging from the same wall as the phone. 

I managed a shaky smile and did what he said, careful not to accidentally whap myself in the ear and murder Houjun. When I came back out, the key in my pocket, he was looking up and down the hallway, as if expecting someone to arrive.

"Excuse me, miss," he said after a while. "I'm waiting for the lady of the operation to get back; she was supposed to be back from her lunch break half an hour ago, and I don't expect you'd like to have _me _be the one to frisk you." He was polite about it, at least, and I laughed nervously, my hopes sinking. If it was just this big guy doing the frisking, he might at least get shy, since I was supposed to be a girl; if it was a woman, she probably wouldn't show half as many inhibitions when it came to…uhh… groping.

We stood there waiting for about fifteen minutes; the big guy even called up to the front desk to inquire after the missing female guard, but to no avail. Houjun, meanwhile, was getting awfully impatient, rambling on and on under his breath… "This isn't heeelping, no da…this isn't helping…we're never gonna get there in time…"

Finally, though, the male guard shrugged and beckoned me over.

"Honey," he said, "I'm awful sorry, but it don't look like she's comin. But, tell you what… I can't imagine you're hidin anything in that pretty sweater, so I'm just gonna let you in, all right?"

I smiled gratefully, although a bit miffed that, even though I hadn't bothered to change clothes, my normal _BOYYYY _sweater was still _"pretty." _Well, maybe he was just being polite again. "All right," I said, barely able to resist slapping my ear as Houjun apparently danced a jig up there. "Thank you, sir; sorry for the trouble."

"Not your fault, not your fault," he chuckled, opening the door for me. "You have a good talk, now, and your things will be right here when you're done."

I thanked him again, and walked through into the visiting area: a row of booths in front of a thick, glass window. On the other side of the glass, crossing his arms sullenly, was Amiboshi's mirror image, dressed in orange prison garb with a black number over his breast pocket. There was another guard in the corner nearby, sitting in a chair.

"About time, no da," Houjun sighed in relief, finally leaving my ear, assumedly to fly over the glass to the other side.

Keeping up the act, I smiled brightly into the sour face, giving Suboshi an excited little wave. Rushing over to the chair in front of him and picking up the conversation phone, I watched as he did the same.

"Who the hell _are _you?" he muttered, glaring at me.

I forced my smile to widen. "Awww, Shunnieeeee, stop teasing me! I come all the way to visit you, and _this _is how you say hello??"

Narrowing his eyes, he jutted his jaw out. "I dunno _what _the hell you want me for, pervert, but whatever it is, you can take it and shove it up your ass."

__

Well. How pleasant.

"Don't play with me, kid," I said, now smiling around gritted teeth. "Your twin brother's really worried about you, okay? I dunno if the words _crazed, homicidal midget_ ring any bells for you, but judging from the nice name you just called me, I imagine you have at least a _teensy _clue as to who I am."

"And who the hell _are _you?" he asked again, but I thought some of the animosity had faded, as unlikely as that sounds.

Perking up, I beamed. "I'm your sister, of course, silly!"

He raised an eyebrow, slouching in his chair.

"Mom and Dad say hi," I went on, "and Cousin Albert just got a job at the yo-yo factory!" Really, it amazed me that I could keep this annoying act up for so long.

"_Mom's _been dead for three years, _sis_," he told me bluntly, which made me falter.

"Oh," I said, my smile fading, pretty much back to my normal self. "I'm…I'm sorry, Suboshi…"

And that was when I felt it, like a sharp prickling at the back of my neck, creeping down my spine. And somehow…I knew what it meant.

__

Miboshi.

__

He's here. He's here, and he's looking for us…

"Hey," came Suboshi's voice from the phone. "Hey, what's wrong? Did you feel that just now?" 

My breath coming harder, I shivered; I probably looked mildly psychotic, but I didn't care. "Suboshi," I breathed, "I…I gotta go. Go back to your, uhh…your cell; as quick as you can, it's important that you go there _fast_, all right?"

His confusion was evident, and he leaned toward the glass…

"_Go_!" I shouted, not caring if the whole prison heard me, standing up quickly and knocking my chair to the ground with a clatter. "_Hurry_!" 

Mouth open, he gave a quick nod and dropped the phone, backing into the guard on his side that had been lurking into the background. I watched them go out the door, and hoped that Houjun hadn't been slapped or anything, because Suboshi was all up to him now.

After I'd seen them go, I turned quickly to my own door, still feeling the evil presence crawling all around me, brushing against my arms, wrapping itself around my chest…but I fought it, and pushed through to where I knew the big guard was waiting.

He smiled as I came through, but his face fell, because, like I said, I probably looked psychotic. "Are…are you okay, darlin?"

__

No. No, I'm not okay; the walls are closing in, I can feel him, he's all around me, he's coming…

And with a sinking heart, I remembered…

__

…My wish in the car. I said that if anybody had to die, it had better be me, because I couldn't bear it if anyone else… I said it had better be me. And Suzaku chose me to go, Suzaku must have known he was here…that's why he chose me.

I'm going to die. 

The knowledge settled in my stomach like lead, and I almost forgot to breathe. When I made my eyes refocus, the guard was staring at me in worry. "Miss? Are you all right?"

I could tell that the blood had drained from my face, and my entire body was shaking, but I managed a sickly smile. "I'm…I'm fine; I don't…like…prisons, that's all…um… Sorry," I whispered, heading into the locker area. Numbly, I fumbled for the key in my pocket; also numbly, I turned it and opened my locker door, taking my jacket and satchel. My movements were slow, as if I was swimming…

__

Well. If I'm going to die… If I'm going to die, I might as well do it with dignity. And I won't die without a fight. 

Straightening the collar of my jacket, doing up the buttons, I stared at the painted face of the locker and saw that it was nearly the same color gold as Sai's eyes. An invisible fist took a tight, choking grip on my heart, even as the evil feeling kept trying to wind its way around me, and I realized that, if my assumptions were correct, I'd never be able to see Sai again…

__

Wait a second, Ryuuen. Wait; this is stupid. 

Suzaku might have chosen me. He might even have chosen me to die. But I'm not dead yet, and as long as I'm not dead yet…I can write my own destiny. 

Sai.

I can still get out. I'm not dead yet, Sai…and I can still get out…

Taking a few deep breaths, I clutched the strap of my satchel tightly and tried to fight the echoing roar in my ears.

__

I can write my own destiny.

Suddenly, I was aware of a low choking sound behind me…and when I turned, the guard was lying on the floor, his eyes bugged out and staring at nothing, with something wrapped tightly around his neck. And the evil feeling spread and spread, grew from a roar to a scream in my head until I wanted nothing more than to curl up on the ground and cover my ears and wait for it to go away…

But then, _she_ was there, stepping out into the door frame and standing with her arms crossed. A pretty young woman with short blond hair, dressed in a tight black shirt and a pair of black pants.

I'd seen her before, I knew: once in front of the Colonial Pantry where I'd accidentally run into her, once in the holiday store with Miaka the week before. I hadn't recognized her then, and I wouldn't have recognized her now, if not for the evil, slitted look in her eyes…and the way the screaming grew louder and louder and louder as she twisted her thin lips into a smile…

"M…Miboshi…" I choked out, leaning against the locker with one hand to my head, wanting to tear out the screaming part inside me, tear it out and kill it, kill it…

"Did you really think you could escape me this time?" she sneered, her voice somehow seeming to come from inside me.

__

I'm…I'm not dead yet. 

I panted harshly, my chest heaving, and braced myself, lowering my shaking hand from my head and resting it on the wall behind me. 

__

I can write my own destiny.

With all the strength I had left, I used my power, burning in my chest, to launch myself off of the wall, propelling myself at Miboshi; if I could only push my way past her, if I could only immobilize her for a _second_…

I don't know what happened. I flung my arm out to strike her, to knock her to the side…but I must have misjudged, or else she moved out of the way, because I didn't connect with anything. With panic growing even more in my chest, I just kept going, trying to escape…but she lunged forward with an almost feral snarl, catching me by the hair and ramming me into the wall.

And then…darkness. The world didn't even have time to fade. 

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TBC…

Notes: Aww, c'mon… You don't really think I would kill my Ryuuen, now, do you? ^_~ Worry not, all shall be well. And I'm sorry Doukun and Suboshi were so pissy in this chapter, but...that's just how it is right now. ^_~ 

I'm really too tired to think of an akugi this time. ^^;; I'm sorryyyy! Forgive meeeee!!! But have fun! ^_^ Sorry for any mistakes (note aforementioned fatigue). ^_^;;

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Last Note: Ahhhhhhh!!!!!! Tuck Everlasting is coming out on Friday!! I'M SO EXCITED!!!!! I read that book when I was, like, EIGHT!!!! **bounce bounce bounce** Yayyyyy!!!!!!! 

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Okay, this is really the last note: I don't know anything about the security in prisons like the one Suboshi's in. So I'm sorry if I'm wrong. ^_^;;;; Just pretend I'm right, though, okay? ^_~


	22. Only Emptiness

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Warnings: Sad stuff. Drama. And, never thought I'd have to say this, but…vomiting. --;

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Notes: Just a small note before we begin: Miboshi is not Yui! ^_~ I know a lot of you guys think so because of the blond hair thing, but remember, Ryuuen already knows Yui, so he'd recognize her if Miboshi really had possessed her. ^_^ Yui is safe and sound somewhere out of the story. (I likes her not. No offense to Yui fans. ^_~ ) Major thanks to Ryu-chan for helping me with this chapter. ^_^ And to everyone else, I hope you like it! If it's bad, it's because I'm really really tired. **nodnod** So blame my early classes, not me. ^_~

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Dedication: To Kaze-chan! You'll see why, and I hope you like it. ^_~ 

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YET ANOTHER STORY

Chapter 22:

Only Emptiness

I stared at the door in front of me in surprise, and realized that, somehow, I was home. Back in the suburbs, staring at the green painted front door and the bronze handle… A glance behind me showed that my home street was silent and dead; not a soul walking on the new white sidewalk, not a car, not a bicycle driving down the road.

"How'd I get here?" I murmured aloud, confused. Where were the others? Where were Sai, and Houjun and Genrou and Miaka? 

Maybe they'd come in and found me after Miboshi had knocked me unconscious. Maybe…maybe they'd taken me home, maybe the battle was over and we'd won already!

__

Did I sleep through the final battle??! What kind of seishi does THAT??!

And…why am I just standing here? 

I didn't know why I was just standing at the door, or why I couldn't even remember walking up to the door. But in any event, I was home; reaching out a hand, I tentatively gripped the handle and pushed down, and the door swung open more easily than I'd expected.

Stepping inside, I could hear voices coming from the kitchen; muted voices, almost as if people were afraid of talking too loud. But I smiled anyway.

"Mom?" I said, loudly enough to be heard. "Kourin, Mom, Dad! I'm home!" Rokou was living alone now, so I didn't think he'd be there. 

When the voices continued without a hint of interruption, I frowned. Hadn't they heard me? 

"Kourin?" I tried again, moving down the hallway, past the shallow hall closet into the den. There, sitting on the blue couch and love seat and reclining chairs, were my family and friends: Mom, Dad, Kourin and Roukou, Miaka and Taka and Genrou and _everyone_, even Shouka and Kouran were there. Myojuan and Shouka were standing by the hearth, and Gen-chan was standing sullenly by the book case, his arms crossed tightly.

__

Why do they all look so sad?

The realization that they _did _look sad made me hesitate a bit, but I decided to announce my presence anyway. Maybe they were worried about _me_, for some reason. So I moved onto the carpet from the tile of the hallway and beamed around at everyone.

"Why the long faces?" I asked. "You guys look like somebody died, or something…"

I was cut off by a sound like a sob, and turned my head in horror at Miaka; my friend had put a hand to her mouth and was squeezing her eyes shut, her shoulders shaking as she began to cry. Horrified, I watched as Taka drew her into his arms, petting her hair and soothing her even though a tear was running down his own face…

__

…What…what happened? 

"M…Miaka?" I asked quietly.

__

Sweet Suzaku…maybe someone DID die. Why didn't I know about it? Why didn't…

"Genrou," Myojuan said quietly, and I turned my wild eyes to my best friend, who had brought his own hand up to hide his eyes. I could tell his jaw was clenched, his chest heaving as he tried to suppress his own tears. My mind raced as Myojuan ambled over to put a hand on Gen-chan's shoulder, only to have Gen-chan jerk away almost angrily from his touch. 

"Don't fuckin touch me," he growled brokenly, his voice wavering. "Don't you fuckin touch me with those useless hands of yours…"

"Gen-chan." This time it was my mother's voice, pleading from the couch, her brown eyes wet with tears, her round face pale. "Please. Please, not here; not now."

__

Mom? 

Something happened. Something happened, oh god…

They were crying. And, I noticed, dressed in dark colors… Crying, dark colors, _oh my god, someone's dead…Someone died and I slept through it, isn't that what happened? And the only one who's not here…the only one who's not here is…_

"Sai!" I yelled frantically, bolting from the room. "Sai! Sai, where are you?" He wasn't in the kitchen, or the living room, or the dining room, even… My heart beating so hard I could barely move, I ran toward the stairs and forced myself up them, tears of fear beginning to form in my eyes.

__

No… No, no, no… this can't be happening, it CAN'T be, not to him! Suzaku, I was supposed to be the one to die! ME!! 

Not in the bathroom, not in Rokou's or Kourin's rooms… 

__

Sai…Sai, you can't be dead, you CAN'T be, I won't let you be dead! How am I supposed to live if you died because of me??! How could I not have been there?? No, I won't believe it…I won't!!

"_Sai_!" I wailed, bursting into my own bedroom…and nearly collapsed from relief.

There, kneeling at the side of my bed, was my Sai…dressed in black like everyone else, a snappy suit, as befit him. He didn't turn around when I entered, but I saw he was holding something in his hands, looking at it.

Smiling in relief, for the moment brushing aside the question of who had died—as selfish as it sounded, at least it wasn't Sai—I walked to his side and knelt down next to him, looking up at his face. "Sai? I was so worried; I couldn't find you anywhere. Are you o…"

But his shoulders started to shake, his head bowed…and with horror, I realized that he, too, was crying. He seemed to fold in on himself, lowering his head to the mattress and curling his arms around his head, cradling his shining hair in his own hands. His back heaved, and I could hear audible sobs emerging from the cavern his arms had formed, tearing raggedly through him, making my own chest hurt with every breath.

"Sai," I murmured, frightened. "Sai, what's happened? Don't cry…"

But when I tried to put my arms around him, to hold him close and comfort him…I connected with only air.

The terror spread, taking over the whole cavity of my chest and then some, and wordlessly, I tried again. And again. And again. But every time I tried to touch him… every time I tried, there was only emptiness before me. Only emptiness.

__

No. This can't be happening. This has to be a dream; a nightmare! THIS ISN'T REAL!! IT CAN'T BE!!!!

"S…Sai!" I choked, not giving up in my efforts, grasping and reaching and praying each time that I would hit something, that I would finally feel his warm hand against mine, that I would finally latch onto his clothing and hug him and never let go. But nothing happened. He wasn't there. 

__

Don't be dead, Sai, please don't be dead, please, I'd give anything…

"Saihitei…are you all right?"

Houjun's quiet, gentle voice from the doorway…and then our blue-haired friend had moved into the room, reaching out a tentative hand to place it on Sai's shoulder. I could only stare at him, mouth wide open; why could Houjun touch him, and not me? Why could Houjun…

__

Wait…

"Houjun," Sai said in a sobbing whisper, "why? Why him?"

__

Downstairs…why didn't anybody even look at me? If Sai was dead… If Sai was dead, they would've come over to me, I know they would've…

"It's out of our hands now," was Houjun's still-gentle reply. "It was Suzaku's will; I know it's painful, but it must have happened for a reason. If Miboshi hadn't killed Ryuuen…we might not have found the strength to defeat him." 

__

Miboshi…

Standing shakily, I backed up toward the wall, shaking my head back and forth even though…even though I knew they couldn't see me.

__

No. No, no, no, no, no…

Sai raised his head, his face hard and streaked with tears. "I should have been able to save him. I should have been able to do _something_, Houjun… I loved him"—his voice broke—"I loved him _so much_. What…what use is loving someone like that if it's going to end like this, if it makes you this _helpless_? If it won't even allow you to protect the person you care for the most in all the world?"

"Saihitei. You couldn't have done anything to…"

"I could have _stopped _him," Sai hissed, new anguish in his face. "I should have stopped him from going into that place with you; I should have trusted my instincts, I _knew _something awful would happen! I _knew _it… How could I have been so _stupid_?"

Shaking like a leaf, I slid down against the wall with wide, unbelieving eyes, and stared…just stared. My arms hung limply at my sides, brushing against the rough carpeting which I could feel against the backs of my hands…I could feel it, but not him…I couldn't feel anything that mattered.

"Sai." Houjun had put his arm around Sai's shoulders now, though my boyfriend's body was stiff and trembling. "He was chosen to go. And whether we like it or not… Whether we like it or not, we have to accept it."

Numb, I watched as Sai turned his face into Houjun's chest, sobbing like a child—"Not again," I could barely make out through his tears, "why did I leave him alone again?"—and I couldn't help it. I started sobbing, too. But there was no one there to comfort me. There was no one who could even see me.

__

I'm dead. I died, and Sai…

I was dully aware of the thing Sai had been holding tumbling to the ground, and robotically, I honed in on it… A little stuffed bear, dressed in a gray sweatshirt…

__

The one I got him for Valentine's Day, the one with the magnet in its nose…

I couldn't watch anymore; I clamped my eyes shut tightly, clenching my teeth against the pain in my heart.

__

Sai…Sai, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry I hurt you… I never want you to be sad because of me, I'm so sorry! You were right; I shouldn't have gone. But I can't win; I couldn't fight Suzaku's will. I wasn't strong enough…and now you're crying, and I can't touch you and I don't know what to do, oh, Sai…

Then there was a hand on my head, smoothing my hair back from my forehead in slow, tentative strokes. I nearly gasped aloud in surprise when I felt the touch; someone was there with me, someone was there…and I dared to believe that it was Sai, that somehow, Suzaku had taken pity on me and brought me back to life… 

But the hand was too small to be Sai's…and besides, the voice didn't sound like Sai at all.

"Wake up, Ryuu-chan…wake up…"

__

Who…who's talking to me? Please, please, wake me up… Tell me it's a dream, tell me it's not real, tell me…

"Ryuuen."

I felt a throbbing ache in my head, and my entire body seemed to sigh in relief at the feeling.

__

I can't be dead. My head wouldn't hurt if I was dead.

It was a dream. This is what's real. I was asleep…I was only asleep…I'm not dead.

Bathed in relief, I forced my eyes to open, squinting up into a blurry world of mottled color. There was a face hovering above mine…at least, I _thought _it was a face. And I felt a strand of long hair brush my cheek as the face bent over me…pale hair, a pale face…

"Are you awake?" the face inquired gently.

Wincing against the quickly returning pain in my head, I blinked a few times to clear my vision, bringing one fist up to rub at my eye. As the world came into focus, despite the throbbing pressure I felt at my left temple, I was able to recognize the features that slowly sharpened before me.

"D…Doulin?" I croaked, my dry throat making my voice sound little and pathetic.

Her mouth curved into a smile. "Yeah. How do you feel?" As I struggled weakly to sit up, she held my shoulders firmly in place. "No no, don't you move; if you sit up now, your headache will just get worse," she said.

Moving my eyes, at least, around the room, I saw that we were in some sort of…I don't know, some sort of _bubble _made of pearly, swirling cloud-like stuff that was only moderately opaque. Despite the transient appearance of the ceiling and walls, the ground beneath me felt hard and cold; Doulin was holding my head in her lap, but the rest of me was stretched out on the floor like a dummy.

I swallowed. "M…Miboshi…threw me into the wall."

She nodded. "Yeah, you've got quite a goose egg on your head."

"…What?"

"A goose egg. A big lump, you know. And it's almost as purple as your hair."

"Wh…where are we?"

Continuing to pet my hair, she sighed. "We are the proud residents of the Miboshi Penitentiary. As for _where _we are, I really couldn't say. But Kaen and Lanva are here, as well as lots of others. Or…I suppose I should call them Soi and Tokaki now, eh, Nuriko?" The smile returned, small and quirky.

I processed this. "You…remember now?"

"Nice way to be informed, isn't it? Having it shoved into your head by a cheerleader bitch with an attitude problem," she said, trying to joke. 

"Are…are you okay?" I worried.

"Hey, I'm not the one who's been unconscious for five hours," she winked. "Don't worry about me, Ryuuen; I'm fine. We all are."

As the walls of the bubble swirled and swirled, I started to see other bubbles outside, forming a circle around some sort of Mother Ship bubble that glowed yellow. Predicting my questions, Doulin continued to explain.

"Those are all prison cells like this one. One prisoner per bubble, usually. And Miboshi does whatever she does in the big one in the middle. I'm sure you must be aware of the whole Conversion To Evil thing by now. Well, I don't know how she does it, and I don't _want _to know; all I know is, she hasn't wanted me there yet, and she hasn't taken Kaen or Lanva, either." 

I shivered. "Have you seen anyone who…who _has _been turned evil?"

"Only one. Toroki. He was the one who…brought us here. Other than that, no one I know…well, not personally…not in this life," she added, her voice fading. "I'm almost sure she's got more of the Byakko seishi out there working for her, and one of the Genbu, too. She's too scared to send the Seiryuu back out, since I've heard one of them had his spell broken, and she can't afford to lose another. She wants to summon the blasted god, you know. Psychopath."

I wanted to ask her how she'd heard all this, since she was isolated in her own cell. But a frightened spark had worked its way into my heart, and I had to ask, "What about…Suzaku?"

Her hand stopped on my head, and she didn't say anything for a long time. Too long.

"D…Doulin," I pressed, "why did he put me in your cell if they're only meant for one person?"

"I'm going to help you sit up, okay?" she said, but the seriousness in her voice said that she wasn't trying to change the subject, she just wanted to look me in the eye. So, painfully, slowly, she helped me raise myself up into a sitting position; my head spun for a while, and I felt suddenly very nauseous, but I forced myself to swallow and lift my head.

"Why'd he put me in with you?" I asked again, not able to stop my voice from trembling a little.

She looked at me sympathetically, then reached out and tucked some of my hair behind my ear. "Miboshi instructed…that I should take care of you," she explained quietly. "She said you mustn't die, if there was any chance you would, because…she needs you."

My skin turned to ice, and I swallowed again, feeling even more sick. "He… she's going to make me evil," I whispered. "Isn't he."

Turning her eyes to me sharply, she clenched her jaw. "You don't know that; you don't know. Don't think about it, Ryuuen; I've thought about it for too long, and trust me, the best thing to do is find something else to worry about."

"He could have killed me, but he didn't," I replied stubbornly, closing my eyes tight to combat the churning in my stomach. "Why…why would he let me live if she didn't need me? And what could he possibly need me for, if not to turn me against my friends?"

She looked like she didn't want to believe it, but I knew she was smarter than that. Maybe she wanted to cling to her denial, but it made sense, and I couldn't ignore it. I was the only one Miboshi had, the only Suzaku seishi he had, and therefore…I was the only _chance_ he had to get rid of the others. Unless…

"Did you…did you see him bring anyone else in besides me?" I asked, almost afraid to hear the answer. If Houjun and Suboshi had been caught, as well… My face had broken out into a cold sweat by now, and I could barely contain my trembling.

__

How could this happen? Is this my punishment, Suzaku? My punishment for not wanting to die?

But Doulin was shaking her head. "I didn't see anyone else. And I looked."

For the most part, I was relieved; things had gone as planned, and the others were safe. But there was a speck of life inside me that grew even more terrified at the news, because now, I really _was _the only one.

__

I'm the only one he has. And that means he HAS to use me; to stop the others from getting him, he HAS to…

"Ryuuen…" Doulin's voice sounded hollow in my ears, far away. "You just got awfully pale; are you…"

I took a few deep breaths, but to no avail. "I…I'm gonna throw up," I managed to mumble, and lurched to the side so I wouldn't puke all over my poor friend. And puke I did, as embarrassing as it was. I won't get into the gory details; Doulin approached me even though I would have rather she hadn't, brushing my hair back from my face and holding my head gently. I was in no position to tell her to leave me alone, and I suppose her presence was nice, in a way. She murmured comforting words like she was my big sister, or something, and when I'd finally finished, breath heaving and tears running down my face, she rubbed my back and turned me away from the awful mess I'd made. But not before I had time to see it seem to melt into the ground. Waste disposal at its finest.

"Looks like you had a concussion," she said soothingly, maneuvering my head back onto her lap. "I thought you might; you were unconscious for a long time. But you should feel better now, at least."

My stomach did feel better, almost back to normal, but I can't say I was pleased with the situation. "I'm sorry, Doulin," I rasped. "I'm sorry; that was so gross…"

"Hey, you can't help it," she clicked kindly. "It isn't as if you slammed _yourself _into a wall."

We were both silent for a while as I regained what was left of my composure, wiping self-consciously at my mouth. I hadn't ever thrown up in front of anyone before, not since I was really young, and I couldn't help but mope about it a little. Pretty soon, though, the annoying little voice inside my head reminded me that there were more important things at stake than my dignity, and I heaved a sigh.

__

He's gonna turn me evil. And then he'll send me back to everyone, and they won't know…and Sai…what if I hurt Sai?

Don't think about it, Ryuuen…not now. Remember what Sai said? It's no use to worry about it, it will just make me crazy, and I can't afford to be crazy now. I need to THINK. I need to keep my head.

"Why…why do you call Miboshi a she?" I asked quietly. "I mean…it looks like a she. But he's a demon, right? A male one, or so Doukun thought."

"Not this time," she said, sounding satisfied. "Nope. Miboshi's not a demon anymore, Ryuu-chan; she's a girl. Just a girl."

Shocked, I pondered this. "A…girl? You mean…he didn't just possess the body of the girl…"

"No. She's got some interesting powers that I don't remember Miboshi having—like this whole bubble effect we've got here—but as far as I can tell, she's real. Miboshi's capability to possess people came with being a demon, and wasn't one of his seishi powers; did you know that?"

"No," I breathed. "No, I didn't know."

"Well, it's logical, if you think about it," she continued. "Being a girl, and not a demon, I mean. If she could just possess the bodies of random seishi to get the ones she wanted, why would she go through all the trouble of turning them evil to serve her? It would certainly be a more dependable method, wouldn't it?"

__

Of course… Of course, it makes sense! If she could do her own dirty work that easily, why would she bother with Chuin and Toroki and everyone else she's used? Well, at least that makes it a LITTLE better; at least we don't have to worry about her possessing someone again! All we have to worry about is…

"Um," I said in a small voice, "so…you don't know exactly how she does it? Turns people evil, I mean…"

"No, Ryuu-chan; I don't have a clue," she said after a slight pause, her tone subdued. "She…she tried to take me, right after she brought me here…but I nailed her. Kicked her in the head, in fact; I _knew _those aikido classes I took freshman year would come in handy someday."

"You…hurt her?" I asked, in awe, picking myself up slowly to look her in the eye.

She nodded proudly. "It should have done her more damage than it did, but I must've been off guard. Of course, it was a short-lived victory; she started screaming inside my head, and I couldn't follow up. She hasn't tried to take me again, though. I'd like to think she's scared of me now."

"Do you think she is?"

"No. I just think there are easier people to turn. People who won't put up as much of a fight." Pursing her lips, she regarded me seriously. "Ryuu-chan…promise me that, if she tries with you, you'll put up a fight. Fight as hard as you can."

__

Fight? I tried to fight her before, and look where it got me! Even with my power, I couldn't fight her; how am I supposed to succeed if I try?

I opened my mouth to tell her I'd do my best…but before I could say anything, the air seemed to…change. Not exactly sure what had happened, I stared around at the walls of the bubble only to see them fade until nothing was left but air; it was as if someone had switched the power off, or something.

Doulin grabbed my arm, and I gave a start…and then…

"Ah, so you're awake," said a pleasant female voice. And, surprisingly enough, it came from Miboshi; she had changed from all black to blue jeans and a pink cotton blouse, and was smiling sweetly, a strange and incongruous appearance with her previous scowling and sneering.

A look up at Doulin showed that _she_, at least, was scowling and sneering enough for the both of them. Standing up and pulling me with her, still gripping my arm tightly enough to hurt, she growled, "Back for more, bitch?"

Miboshi just kept smiling, and turned her eyes to me. "Nuriko," she said, addressing me like I was a little kid, "will you come talk with me for a while? I've got something important to tell you, and I'm sure Subaru won't mind…"

"Subaru minds very much," Doulin said through clenched teeth. 

"Now, really…" The blond girl's eyes were sad, back to their normal deep blue color instead of the creepy slits I'd seen in the prison. "I really don't know why I keep you around. I've been awfully kind, you know; even though you refuse to help me, I've kept you in here without violence, given you food… It's almost charitable of me, don't you think?" She smiled at me again, and I shivered despite myself. "I'm sure Nuriko would want you to continue to live here…unmolested…and well. Wouldn't you, Nuriko?"

There was a glint in her eye which set my heart pounding, a tiny, evil light that implied what she had left unsaid.

__

If I don't go with her…she'll do something to Doulin. 

But if I do go with her, she'll make me evil! And all my friends will suffer; SAI will suffer! 

I didn't know what to do. How could I choose between the person with me here and now, the person whom I would have to watch suffer, and the people I loved, who were so far away, but close to my heart…?

__

But wait. Even if she hurts Doulin, she'll take me anyway. She'll force me to go somehow. So what's the use of resisting if it will only make it harder? Should Doulin's safety be sacrificed as well as the others', if by going now I can maybe save one person? Just one?

"Doulin," I whispered, shutting my eyes, my shoulders slumping, "let me go."

She was silent, and I could feel her staring at me, horrified. "But…"

"I'll fight it," I said under my breath. "I promise. I'll try as hard as I can. But please; let me go."

I suppose I had shocked her enough to make her obey me, and she released me slowly. Taking a few steps forward toward the blond girl, I raised my head and looked her in the eye.

"If I come with you now, you'll leave Doulin alone," I said shakily, trying to appear braver and stronger than I was. "All right?" In my heart, I knew I couldn't trust her as far as I could throw her…okay, well, maybe that wasn't the best example to give. I didn't trust Miboshi to keep her promise. But it was better than nothing, so I said it anyway.

Miboshi grinned. "Of course, Nuriko. Subaru is…uncooperative, but it makes no difference to me whether she lives or not. She is mine, and, well, I suppose that's all that matters." Shrugging, she held out her hand to me. "Come along, now. Let's have our little talk."

And with so many conflicting emotions running through my head that it was nearly impossible to try to sort through them, I dazedly reached out my hand…and followed her.

****

TBC…

Notes: I'm sorry if it was bad. ^^;; And I'm sorry about the beginning part! If I fooled anyone, well, I _told _you I wouldn't ever kill Ryuuen, didn't I? ^_~ Anyway, thanks for reading!

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YET ANOTHER STORY AKUGI!! Take One:

Doulin: Miboshi's not a demon anymore, Ryuu-chan; she's a girl. Just a girl.

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Miboshi: **who, surprisingly, turns out to be none other than Gwen Stefani of No Doubt!! O.o;; **   
Cuz I'm just a girl, I'd rather not be  
Cuz they won't let me drive late at night  
I'm just a girl, guess I'm some kind of freak  
Cuz they all sit and stare with their eyes…!

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Ryuuen: …

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Doulin: **mutters** Well, she's got the freak part right…

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YET ANOTHER STORY AKUGI!! Take Two:

Doulin: Back for more, bitch?!?!

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Miboshi: BRING IT ON!!!!!

**girl fight**

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Ryuuen: …


	23. Mirror of Tears

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Warnings: Uhh…bad language and people being mean. **nod** 

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Notes: Whazzap, y'all? ^_~ I finally got this chapter done!! I was actually writing it during class the other day, ehehehe…but it's surprisingly easy for me to keep one ear on the lecture. **shrug** I do not condone this kind of behavior, however. **looks around innocently** Anyway. Hope you guys like this, sorry for the drama. ^_^;;;;

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YET ANOTHER STORY

Chapter 23:

Mirror of Tears

"Nuriko," Miboshi said pleasantly, taking a seat in a chair across from me, "how do you feel?"

She had taken me to the giant central bubble thing in the middle of wherever we were, through a thick haze of cloud and into a little room. It was like a scene out of a Country Comfort magazine: big plush armchairs, a woven rug on the floor, a rocking chair in the corner and embroidery hanging on every wall… And through it all, I thought I could smell cinnamon and apples, as if someone was baking a pie. This struck me as a bit strange, since Miboshi didn't really strike me as the culinary type. I don't know if the room was really there or not…I know it's a kind of Matrix-esque thought, but now and then I would see a wall wrinkle, or a lamp shimmer, or something, leading me to believe that the whole place was no more than an illusion.

__

Illusion, huh? How did she wind up with THAT talent?

"I'd feel better if you hadn't smashed my head against a brick wall," I mumbled, clutching the arms of my chair nervously.

She gave me a sympathetic look. "I'm really very sorry about that. Please try to understand, it was the only way I could have gotten you to come with me; I'm sorry you had to see my bad temper in effect, but your _friend"_—she used the term scornfully—"had just made off with one of my brothers, after all."

My heart was almost hurting, it was beating so hard, and it was difficult to keep myself from shaking. I felt like I was waiting to give a speech for which I hadn't prepared. This sickeningly nice Miboshi was irritating; how could she believe for a _second_ that I would trust her, after having seen her true face?

__

I'll fight her. I promised.

"Nuriko." She folded her arms almost childishly, and smiled that same sickening, sweet smile. "I'm so happy you're here. I really need to speak to you."

I was silent for a while, a dubious kind of dread spreading into my fingertips and toes. When I finally spoke, my voice seemed tentative and frightened. "About what?"

"Well," she said, drawing her eyebrows together in worry. "I won't pretend that I know you well. But I've heard so many stories: the noble seishi giving his life for his miko, sacrificing everything so that his friends could live…"

__

Careful. Be careful.

"You were so loving, they said. So strong. But, Nuriko…I'm worried." She frowned even more deeply, a sad kind of frown, like I imagined a therapist would wear. Condescending. "I don't think you know exactly whom it was you were sacrificing yourself _for_. Was that heart dedicated to the right people? Was that strength protecting those who deserved to be protected?"

Okay, she had me confused. 

"What I mean is," she pressed on, sensing my puzzlement, "you don't really know what they were really like, do you? Your friends. Your wonderful, _giving, caring_ friends." Her voice held more than a hint of a sneer. "Children of Suzaku, the God of Love…but you didn't know who they were, or what they thought of you, in all your noble sacrifices. You still don't know."

"What are you talking about?" I said, my voice getting stronger.

__

There's evil in her eyes; you can see it. You can see it. Whatever she says, you can't believe it; she's going to try something fishy, but you can't believe it.

Her face turned sad once more. "You really don't know, do you? Poor little boy…" She shook her head, and I was even more confused. "Wouldn't you like to know the truth, though? The truth of what they said about you, in this life and the last one? I have the power to tell you, you know; I now have the power to tell you the truth at last, so you won't have to delude yourself anymore."

It was my turn to shake my head, my jaw clenched. "You don't have power like that. All you can do is summon monsters with your stupid little dreidel thing, you can't see into the minds of others; you can't fool me with lies like that, not that easily." I wished my voice didn't shake so much. It really didn't add to my prowess.

"Oh, but I do," Miboshi breathed quietly, and her eyes seemed to glow just for a moment. "I do have these powers. You could call it insurance, I suppose; whatever you choose to call it, however, it doesn't change the fact that I have gathered quite a collection of abilities in the past few months."

"I don't see how you could," I quavered.

She smirked. "Hm. Well, I assume you've found your own strength to be rather lacking of late…or can it be that you haven't even tried it yet?"

__

…Tried? Is she talking about…

But that's impossible! It's my power; it's a part of me!

My breath quickening, I gripped as hard as I could on the arm of the chair, hoping to "accidentally" drive my fingers through the fabric and shatter the wooden frame… But as I felt the burning below my collarbone, and I squeezed and squeezed my hands, all that happened was that my fingers sank and sank into the plush of the arm…sank until they couldn't press any farther.

__

It…it can't be…

"You…you stole my power," I whispered, even more terrified than before. I was weak now, as weak as any normal, scrawny little gay boy would be… I was powerless against her. I couldn't fight her, not like this. I couldn't _possibly_. "How…how could…"

"It's not a very complicated procedure," she shrugged. "For you, as for all the other seishi I've captured, it only took a touch in the right spot, a murmur of the right words…and the power was mine." She grinned, lifting her eyebrows up and down. "Convenient, huh?"

I couldn't speak. I just clutched weakly at the chair and focused all my concentration on breathing, because I really needed work in that area. 

__

If she has the powers of all the seishi she's captured…if she has the ability to perform spells, and she uses a spell to turn me evil…then I'm lost. I'm as good as turned already, even if I still had my strength… Sai…as selfish as it is, I wish you were here, I wish you were here with me because I'm scared of this…I'm scared of what she's going to do… 

"Anyway," Miboshi continued nonchalantly, "I picked up a few useful things here and there, one of them being the power of a Genbu seishi named Iname. Seems she had the ability to see into the past; all she had to do was think of someone to know their past. It turns out she could narrow it down, and narrow it down, and narrow it down…" The smile she turned to me was slightly leering. "So it's easy, you see. And I've used this power a lot for you."

"Why?" I said, barely audible.

"Because you deserve better, Ryuuen. You deserve to be treated better than the way they treat you."

"They're my friends," I hissed. "At least they don't give me concussions and keep me locked in a giant bubble."

"It was the only way I could get you to come," she insisted without raising her voice. She sounded like one of the Pod People…or at least like she was on some kind of drug.

"What, you couldn't ask me like a civilized person?" I said bluntly.

__

Hey, I kinda sound like Doukun.

"Ryuuen. Listen to me," she said calmly, and I did what she asked, trying to look defiant. "Your mind is so entrenched in the ridiculous belief that these people are your _friends _that you wouldn't have listened to me. I'm Miboshi; I'm evil, right? Even more evil than Nakago, because my soul couldn't be redeemed." She set her jaw. "That's what they would like you to believe, anyway. That's what you think, isn't it? I knew the only chance I'd have for you to listen to me would be if I got you away from them, if I _forced _you to listen without your fellow seishi to influence you."

I narrowed my eyes. "You're trying to play with me, but it won't work. You don't know what you're talking about." There was no way she was going to convince me I was on the wrong side! If that was her tactic, I'd _never _let myself be turned!

__

This can't be everything…there has to be a catch…

"Don't I?" she said quietly. "You don't know, Ryuuen. You don't know who they really are."

"Say what you want," I said confidently. "You won't get me like that." But I felt a lump of dread in my stomach… _She can't think I'm that weak…can she? _

"How about if I show you?" Miboshi said after a moment, and in a flash—so to speak—the room went black.

I leaned back, still feeling the comforting warmth of the back of the chair behind me, and clutched the arms even more tightly. As a rule, I wasn't afraid of the dark…but with Miboshi in the same room and an uncertain future looming before me, I couldn't help but feel a little on edge. Okay, a _lot _on edge. When the blackness didn't let up, my heart started pounding harder and harder in anticipation, because waiting for the unknown is one of the hardest forms of torture. That's what I thought at the time, anyway. 

But then, rising before me, there were two shapes. Two people, seeming to glow against the false night behind them; one was an old man with a beard, the other younger, dressed in a long, red robe…

__

Hotohori-sama.

My breath caught in my chest, making a hollow gasping sound.

"_What shall we do with the…with Nuriko…Heika-sama?"_

Hotohori-sama's mouth and eyes went hard. _"He is a seishi._"

__

"He defiled Your Highness's good name with his perversion and deception! You mean to simply let him be??"

"It is true; he is a disgusting creature. But until the summoning ceremony, we must keep him alive, treat him as a…friend. We cannot have him running away; that would be counterproductive, no?"

Hotohori-sama…

"But, Sire! Does he not repulse you? How can you keep him nearby, knowing that he…knowing that he harbored that impure love for you?"

"We must do what we must. I would like no more than to have him punished, to watch that offensive skin flayed from his body, that deceiving face torn from his skull. But we cannot do any such thing, no matter what our personal desires might be. He is a seishi. He must remain alive."

Mercifully, they faded away after that…but the pain in my chest did not die. I was horrified…horrified, and on the verge of tears. 

__

He never said anything like that…he never could have said those things!

But to have his face before me, to actually see him saying them…

__

Hotohori-sama… You said you loved me, though… 

The voice in my head was urging me to keep things in perspective, crying out that Miboshi was making me lose focus of the truth by showing me these things. And I tried to make myself believe it. I tried so hard…

"The truth is painful, isn't it?" Miboshi mused from somewhere behind me. "So painful…but we must face our pains if we are to truly know our place in the world. Isn't that right, Nuriko?"

"I don't believe it," I whispered hoarsely. "I…I don't believe it! You've got Tomo's powers, haven't you?! That's how you did that, it's not real!"

"Of course, I have Tomo's powers," she said lightly. "But I'm only using them to show you what I see…to show you what Iname's power has shown me. And there are some interesting things in your friends' pasts, believe me…"

And before I could open my mouth again, there were two new figures before me: Genrou and Houjun.

__

"I don't know why Sai insists on stayin with that fuckin fag," Genrou grumbled. "_It's fuckin disgusting, isn't it? All that sweaty guy-guy action…Gahh, it makes me wanna fuckin puke!"_

"It's not our place to judge," Houjun put in. _"We should hate the sin, not the person, remember?"_

"It's fuckin hard not to. He's just…the fuckin embodiment of queerness! All those little femmy fuckin gestures…prancin around like a fuckin girl, cryin all the fuckin time… Makes me wanna fuckin throw him into an all-male prison! Makes me wish Chuin had fuckin done what he set out to do…maybe that'd knock some of the fuckin testosterone back into him!"

"Shh!" Houjun turned his head quickly. "_Shh…do you want him to hear you, no da?"_

"It hurts, doesn't it?" Miboshi crooned as Gen-chan and Houjun faded, too.

__

It…it hurts…

I couldn't even respond this time. I tried to. But my heart was being twisted in my body…twisted up and around so painfully… I knew I was crying—silent tears of terror moving slowly down my cheeks—but I couldn't stop them.

__

"…fuckin fag…"

"…disgusting…"

"…hate the sin, not the person…"

"…Makes me wish Chuin had…"

"…Chuin had…"

"I'm sorry you had to be the victim of such awful lies," Miboshi said, but she didn't sound sorry, she sounded satisfied. "It's never easy, is it?"

__

Stop it…please, stop it…

But it was too late. Sai and Taka were already standing before me, shining; I wanted to close my eyes, but I couldn't. Just like when you're watching something awful on the news, and you don't want to look…but you have to, somehow. 

__

"It's just frustrating," Sai said. _"He's so clingy…he's so dependent. I can't do anything I want to do anymore; it's always Ryuuen, Ryuuen, Ryuuen."_

"I have the same problem," Taka said. _"Luckily, Miaka lives a state away, so I don't have to deal with it every day."_

"And the worst part is, I don't even have the rights of a lover," Sai continued, frowning. 

__

"What? You mean he doesn't put out?"

"No. He could at least give me that, you know? He owes me that much, for all I have to put up with…"

"Jeez…I'm better off than you, then. Why don't you tell him you wanna fuck? He'd do it if you insisted, you know he would."

"It's getting to that point. I'm worn out with all this platonic bullshit. What's the use of having a boyfriend, after all, if you can't get off?"

"Maybe it's time you called it quits, if he's that difficult."

"I'm thinking about it…I'm really thinking about it…"

My eyes were huge, my breath coming in heaving, silent sobs, as I watched them fade, as well. An icy feeling, like a dagger, was pushing its way into my heart, coming from the inside, it seemed…

__

Sai…I'm so sorry, Sai, I'll be better, I'll do whatever you want, don't leave me, please don't leave…

He doesn't care about me, he doesn't care… If he did, he wouldn't want to leave because of that… If he did…

The dagger pushed deeper and deeper into me, spreading the cold farther and farther with every millimeter of pressure.

__

"…so clingy…so dependent…"

"…perversion…deception…"

"…time you called it quits…"

"…impure love…"

"…fuckin fag…"

"…don't even have the rights of a lover…"

"Ryuuen."

I winced against the freezing pain in my chest, seeing nothing but a clouded mirror before me…a mirror of my own tears.

__

Sai…

Even in my mind, it came out as a sob.

__

"Fight it, Ryuuen. If she pushes you much farther, the spell will do the rest."

Spell…

As if hearing its name, the dagger throbbed once inside me, and seemed to shudder. I gritted my teeth at the pain. _The spell…of course, she can't turn me all by herself…That's the catch! That's what she's using!_

"Fight it, Ryuuen." Now it was Miaka's voice.

__

"Fuckin kick her midget ass!!"

"You can do it!"

"You were chosen by Suzaku, no da; you were chosen because you can beat her!"

"You must overcome this."

"You CAN overcome it."

My friends…

__

"We love you." Miaka.

__

"Fuckin sappy…but ya know it's true." Gen-chan.

__

"I'll always love you. Always." Sai.

__

"Open your eyes."

And I did. From the inside.

I saw Miaka hugging me in the holiday store when the stupid magnetic bears wouldn't fit together… I saw Gen-chan sobbing when he saw me after Chuin's attack, trying not to cry, but failing… Houjun's eyes when he greeted me that same day… Doukun leaping at me and laughing, so long ago, when he'd discovered who he used to be… Taka's pained voice—"_He…tried to attack our brother…_"—and Myojuan's gentle hand squeezing mine—_"Everything's all right…You're going to be fine…"_—and Sai…

__

Sai…

"I'm staying with you because I love you… _I love you and I want to stay with you, and help you through this…because I can't bear to see you in such pain…"_

His eyes, so full of love, staring into mine…

__

"You're beautiful…The most beautiful person I have ever known, or ever will know."

His voice, wrapping around my heart like a blanket, soothing and gentle…

__

"I would have loved you either way. Girl or boy, man or woman…I would have loved you."

Fight it. Fight it; she's taken your strength, but not the strength in your heart. 

And all those things she showed me…they weren't real. They weren't real. I know the truth. The truth is in my heart.

In my heart.

I let my body relax and smiled. And then, I felt the dagger in my chest…the spell…I felt it tremble even more violently, and suddenly…it shattered.

There was pain, icy pain, like slivers of glass tearing through me…but as the spell melted, the pain went away, and it was as if…it was as if it had never been there at all. And the room was still dark, and the tears were still on my cheeks…but I knew I'd beat it. I knew I'd won.

__

I love you, Sai… Everyone…I love you. 

When the world faded into light, I kept the smile on my face; when Miboshi walked around to meet my eyes, her expression washed in false sympathy, I kept the smile on my face, and sat there calmly, like a good soldier…because I knew what I had to do. This battle was over, but I couldn't let her know it. Not yet.

"Please forgive me for showing you those things," she said, her voice still musical. "Do you understand now? Do you see the truth for what it is?"

__

I will never forgive you.

"I see the truth," I repeated, hoping my smile was as dangerous as I was trying to make it: dangerous, but masked with kindness. That's the effect I was going for. "Send me to them; they need to suffer." I kept my tone nonchalant, hoping it would add to the effect.

__

God, I sound like someone out of a bad action movie. Hmm. Well…let's go for that, shall we?

Miboshi's pretty face spread into a grin. "I knew you'd see reason. You, of all people…your poor heart was so fragile, you didn't have a fighting chance. It almost makes me feel guilty."

__

I know something you don't knowwww… I sang in my mind, fighting hard not to smirk.

"Nuriko…you can't kill them, you know," she told me. "I need them. I need their powers. Hurt them if you must, and I'll understand; but you must wait at least until you bring them to me, and I have the opportunity to drain them. Then, if it suits my purpose, I'll allow you to do with them as you will. Does that sound like a good bargain?"

My stomach churned a bit, but I forced myself to grin wider. "How much can I hurt them? Does it matter, as long as they're still breathing?"

She laughed. "I simply ask that you leave their brains intact."

"Well, I suppose," I said. _Crazy psycho freak._

"And bring me some of the Seiryuu, as well," she ordered. "That's who I really need." When I agreed to this, she smirked and brought up her hand…and I felt a warm heat encircle my left wrist. 

Trying to contain my panic—_Did she see through me? Are these shackles?_—I looked down and saw that I had been given a glowing blue bracelet of what seemed to be nothing but light and air. It didn't hurt, but it pulsed along with my heartbeat.

"Say Suzaku," she instructed, and I did so; immediately, the bracelet disappeared, and I blinked in surprise. I flipped my hand over and back again, as if that would somehow show me where it had gone, but it had completely vanished. She laughed again, and said, "Now, say Seiryuu." When I had, it was back, glowing against my skin. "This is how you will find your way back here to bring me your targets. All you must do is make it appear by saying the name of Seiryuu, and once it has appeared, you must touch it here"—she indicated a slightly silvery diamond-shaped spot, also seemingly made of air—"and here you will be. Is that understood?"

"Yes, Miboshi-sama," I said, thinking that, evil tool or not, the thing was pretty darn cool. 

"Are you ready to go now?"

Was I ever. "Yes, Miboshi-sama; please, send me," I hissed, and held back a wince as I realized I sounded like Gollum. _Curse you to death and darkness, all you Miboshisesssss!!! _

And she smiled. That's all it took, and I felt the wind pick up around me, swirling around me like a cyclone; I closed my eyes to keep the dust out, and was wrapped in a sensation that was somewhat like falling…like jumping off the high dive at the swimming pool…and then…

The wind stopped. And I opened my eyes slowly, and found myself staring at the night sky.

****

~

TBC…

~

Notes: Ahahahaha!…phew! Sorry that was so intense. --;; Chalk it up on my list of Nuriko Tortures. And yeah, so it was a little cheesy and cliché…but it's a recurring FY motif! (The overbearing love of friends, that is. ^_~ ) Uhh…again, really sorry about the psychological bastardization of our beloved characters. It makes me feel bad. ^_^;; But, hey…it's just Miboshi being dumb. ^_^; Hope you liked it, anyway. ^_~

****

YET ANOTHER STORY AKUGI!! Take One:

Miboshi: And bring me some of the Seiryuu, as well. And a chicken sandwich. And some chips, and a small Diet Coke. Okay?

****

Ryuuen: **grumble grumble**

****

Take Two:

Miboshi: Say Suzaku.

****

Ryuuen: Suzaku.

****

Miboshi: I didn't say Simon Says!! Ahahaha, I win! I win!!

****

Ryuuen: …??


	24. Kleenex

****

Warnings: Language and SAAAAAAAAP!!! LOTS OF SAP!!!!! And shounen ai. Lots of shounen ai. **nod** And a weird akugi at the end.

****

Notes: Hi, all! ^_^;; Ehehehe…please accept my apologies for the utter sappiness of the previous chapter. I think this one is better on the sap scene, but it very well could be worse. ^_~ So I hope this one's okay, even though I really copped out on the chapter title. ^_^;;;

****

YET ANOTHER STORY

Chapter 24:

Kleenex

When I picked myself up, head throbbing and legs wobbling, I found myself in a large field, surrounded by snow that came up almost to my knees. It took me longer than normal to steady myself and to clear the fuzziness from my eyes, which was either an after-effect of my cyclone-like mode of transportation or a reminder of the knock to the head I'd taken. But when I peered around, squinting in the dark, I saw a big building all the way across the field, lit up by huge lights from towers on each of its four corners. 

__

The prison. I'm right by the prison again.

Heaving a sigh of relief and grinning despite myself, I stumbled off in the direction of the prison. In the flat, dark space below the building, I could see smaller lights, slightly muted, and I was pretty sure they came from cars. My friends' cars.

__

I beat Miboshi. I beat her. I beat her all by myself, and I'm still alive! I can see Sai again, and I'll be able to touch him, and the others…

I was almost crying with relief, and tried to hurry my steps, panting with the exertion. I did feel a twinge of guilt for all the anti-Suzaku stuff that had been passing through my head before Miboshi had taken me, but well…everything was okay now, right? Suzaku had known what he was doing from the start, so he must've known how I would have reacted, as well. Well, I didn't know how these things worked, but the fact was, I'd followed through on the destiny I'd been given.

I hadn't gone far before I noticed another light, this one really small, floating in my direction like a firefly. It made me falter and my breath caught in my throat…but then, I saw a flickering of tiny red lights drifting along with it, and I realized that it was my friends, their seishi symbols glowing.

__

My friends. They're coming for me.

So happy that I almost couldn't move, I wanted to laugh out loud, but settled for smiling wide enough for it to hurt.

"Ryuuen!" I heard them calling as they approached, coming closer and closer, and I must have stumbled five times—even falling on my face in the snow once—before they were close enough to see. And then, there they were, with the globe of light casting just enough of its glow on them to make out their faces: Houjun, Sai, and Tom.

"Oh, god…" Sai gasped, and lunged forward…but Houjun whipped out his arm and held him back.

"Wait," he said quietly, and I suddenly felt myself collide with something solid.

I recoiled, startled. _Solid…invisible. It's a spell. _"H…Houjun?" I gasped, confused; Houjun's face was serious, his eyes bored into mine…and I felt a strange tingling sensation course through my entire body, up and down three times, and finally flooding out of my fingertips. I shivered.

Sai's face looked hollow and pinched in the dim light, and he seemed much paler than normal. He was clutching Houjun's arm with fingers that almost shook; I myself almost wept with the frustration of not being able to touch him, finally touch him, after the pain of the dream when my hand had passed through him like fog, after the awful things Miboshi had made me see…

"Houjun," said Sai in a tight voice, and my heart twisted. I couldn't take seeing him like that, I couldn't take not being able to go any closer, so I shut my eyes tight and clenched my fists hard at my sides.

__

Soon. You'll be able to go to him soon. Houjun's…Houjun's probably trying to see if I've been turned evil or not. It'll be over in a second…just a second…

It seemed like hours before I finally heard Houjun's voice again. "All right," he said. "All right…he's himself, no da."

And before I could open my eyes, I felt Sai's arms around me, crushing me to his chest. "God, Ryuuen," he whispered, gasping with emotion, and clutched me even closer. "God, we were so worried…"

He held me for a long time without saying anything, and I felt the breath heaving through his chest in ragged puffs, only gradually beginning to calm. 

__

I'm safe now, I thought, hugging him back, wanting to smile and cry but settling for the smiling part. _We're all together now. She won't beat us if we're all together. Nothing can._

I was a little ashamed when I began to consider how much my capture must have affected Sai and all the others; after all, I'd only thought about it from my own point of view. Me missing them, not them missing me. But Sai had always been so obsessed with protecting me, an obsession that had begun with the one time he hadn't been able to do so: the time I'd fought Ashitare and lost. It was the same with Gen-chan, and, well…with everyone. It's funny how one little thing in the past can have such a big effect on the way people treat you in the present.

Okay, maybe it wasn't such a little thing. But whatever.

"Holy crap, Ryuuen, what'd you _do _to yerself?!" Tom exclaimed eventually, and Sai immediately stiffened and pushed me away slightly, holding me at arm's length.

"Are you all right?" he said worriedly, looking me up and down. "Sweetie, are you hurt? Houjun, bring the light!"

Houjun came, and Tom with him. "Y'all got some huge lump," Tom whistled, and I remembered that he could see in the dark. "That scary gnome dude get mental on your ass?"

Sai's face was concerned, and I realized that the pinched look really had nothing to do with the lighting. His fingers brushed gently against the swelling bruise on my forehead. "How did this happen?"

"I…I tried to kiss an ostrich," I joked in a tiny voice, gripping tightly to his hand and trying to smile.

There was a slight pause, and then Sai began to laugh breathily, along with the other two. Although for a second I thought I heard his chuckles grow dangerously close to sobs, I didn't object when he hugged me again, and sighed a shaky sigh of relief to be safe with my friends once more.

"We should get back to the others, no da," said Houjun, placing a hand on my head, and Sai nodded, pulling away slowly. He smiled a small, tired smile as he opened his coat and put his arm around my shoulder, wrapping me in black material and pressing me against him from the side. I let him mollycoddle me, knowing that he needed it, and leaned my head into his shoulder as we walked.

"Doulin's there," I said in a small voice. "She was there, in the bubble…er…in the prison with me. And she said Kaen and Lanva were there, too…"

"Shh," said Sai. "We can talk about everything soon. How's your head?"

"It's okay. It hurts just like a normal bump, but it's okay." I was about to tell him that Doulin said I'd had a concussion, but I figured that was useless information. It was over now, and I didn't want anyone to worry more than they already had.

"Did he hurt you?" he asked fiercely.

"No," I said evenly, pushing away the false memories she'd shown. "Well, she threw me into a wall in the prison; that's how I got the bump. But other than that…I'm fine, Sai. Really."

He squeezed my shoulder, and we walked in silence for the rest of the way.

Everyone was so happy to see me when we got to the van that it made me blush. Miaka sobbed and clung to me, and Gen-chan cursed me out, but I knew it was just because he'd been worried, too. Doukun immediately jumped in with questions about Miboshi, but Sai batted everyone away with a gentle but stubborn hand.

"It's late," he said, "and it's cold. Would everyone agree to checking in somewhere for the night? We can talk about everything then."

"I think that's a good idea," Myojuan said, and Ayuru and Taka both nodded, then turned to stare at each other, as if puzzled that they'd just agreed over something.

Miaka said she'd seen a motel right by the prison exit. So, everyone got into their respective vehicles; Amiboshi and Suboshi rode together in Houjun's car, and Chuin came with us, since Houjun didn't have enough room. He sat quietly in one of the middle seats, staring out the window; I, finding myself trapped between the combined protective forces of Sai and Genrou, started to wonder if Miboshi had done the same thing to Chuin when she'd turned him evil. 

__

Miboshi doesn't have the power to see into the past. She was lying about that. But I think…I think she must have something that lets her get into the heads of other people, to find their fears and stuff…

How ironic is this, that only Chuin can understand what I've gone through?

"Chuin?" I said, surprising myself, and he stiffened and turned to face me, eyes large and worried. I swallowed before continuing. "Do you…have your powers anymore?"

__

She used his powers, she said she did. But when he came for me, he had his powers, too…how does that work?

Chuin's face became desperate. "Ryuuen, I'll never try anything again, I _swear_…"

"No," I cut him off, trying to smile. "I know. That's not why I'm asking. But…do you still have them? Or did she take them?"

Relaxing a little, Chuin's eyes darted nervously to the ground before fixing on mine again. "She took them at first," he said softly, "and used them to…used them against me…"

I nodded to show I understood, fighting the constricting feeling in my heart.

"She gave them back to me when she sent me back out," he continued tentatively, "but when you broke the spell…they disappeared. I think…they went back to her. She h-had them on a leash, somehow."

__

That means…I must have my own powers back.

"Who the fuck're ya talking about?" Gen-chan demanded, frowning at me. "Who the fuck is 'she'?"

I smiled at him. "Miboshi," I replied. "Miboshi is a girl now."

A very amusing look of utter confusion crossed Gen-chan's face, and he blinked at me, jaw dropping slightly. I giggled.

"No shit?" Tom breathed from the other middle seat. "He have some kinda operation, er somethin?"

I grinned and raised an eyebrow. "No, Tama. She was just born a girl. That's what Doulin said, anyway."

"Doulin??!" exclaimed Gen-chan and Myojuan.

"All right," Sai said firmly. "Ryuuen's going to have to explain things to _everyone_ once we get to the hotel. Let's not make him do it twice."

Things were pretty quiet after that, and I snuggled into Sai and closed my eyes. He ran a gentle hand through my hair, and I felt warmth spread through my body. "I'm so glad to be back with you guys," I murmured, not able to help the minute tremor in my voice. "I'm so glad I'm back."

"We are, too," Gen-chan said softly…and after a long moment of silence, I felt something warm and wet splash onto my cheek.

I blinked, startled, and moved my head up slowly. "…Sai?"

__

Oh god, is he crying??

He was busily wiping at his eyes with his left hand, trying to cover it up. But I'd felt it, and I could see the redness under his eyes, the slight quiver at the corner of his mouth…

"Sai?" I tried again, worried, putting my hand on his face. Seeing him cry made me want to cry, too; I couldn't bear to see him in pain. "What's wrong?"

He took a deep breath and looked at me, managing a shaky smile. "Nothing," he said quietly. "Nothing's wrong. Don't worry, sweetheart; it's just stress, that's all."

Unconvinced, my eyebrows pushed together, I glanced down at his damp cheeks, then into his eyes again.

"He was really worried about ya," Genrou said in a soft, rumbling voice. "I mean, we all were, Ryuu-chan… But if Sai was a fuckin _smidge _less vain, he would've been tearin his hair out in clumps."

Sai laughed once, and sniffed, smiling at me sheepishly. "It was just like last time, that's all," he whispered, a thin line forming between his eyebrows. "I couldn't go with you… I couldn't be there to protect you, and sitting around being so helpless…"

"I'm okay, though, Sai," I said, trying to soothe him, and stroked his cheek with my hand. "See? I'm okay. And…you _did _help me." My cheeks grew warm, and I smiled. "All of you. You were there with me, in my heart. I couldn't have gotten away if I didn't care for all of you, or if you didn't care for me."

Another tear ran silently down his face, but he was still smiling, and hugged me tightly again. "I'm so grateful you're not hurt," he breathed into my ear, and kissed my head. And Genrou didn't even make fun of us for that, which was a sure indicator of just how worried everyone had been.

~*~

Thirteen people was a lot to cram into two hotel rooms, but we wanted to keep as close together as possible, and there weren't three vacant rooms within a sensible vicinity of each other. So we decided to ask for a couple of cots and just squeeze people into two adjoining ones. Sai and I were sharing a room with Taka, Miaka, Ayuru, Doukun, and Gen-chan. We decided we could put three in a bed without being horrendously cramped; Ayuru volunteered to take the cot, simply because he claimed to be too big to fit into a bed with two other people. Besides, he wasn't a touchy-feely-let's-get-close kinda guy.

Anyway, as soon as we'd worked out the politics of room arrangements—Ayuru needing to stay with me and Sai since we trusted him the most, me not necessarily wanting to sleep in a bed anywhere near Chuin, Gen-chan having to choose between the lesser evils of Ayuru and Chuin, Taka having to choose between the lesser evils of Ayuru and Suboshi, et cetera—we gathered in one of them to discuss what had happened to me.

I told them about getting caught in the prison, and waking up with Doulin. I told them what Doulin had said about Miboshi being a girl and not a spirit, and what Miboshi had said about sucking up seishi powers, and what Chuin had said about his own powers disappearing when Miboshi's spell had been broken. My own powers had been returned to me, as I discovered by grinding a marble from Genrou's backpack to dust with my bare hands. I skipped a lot of things, like throwing up and exactly what Miboshi had done to try to make me evil, and ended up by shakily stating that I'd evaded her spell and tricked her into thinking she'd won.

"Did you have one of these, Chuin?" I asked, and muttered the word to make my Back-To-Miboshi bracelet light up. 

"Dude, that's awesome!" Tom exclaimed, and Miaka started cooing over how pretty it was.

"Yes, he did, no da," Houjun replied for Chuin. "I…I wasn't sure whether to trust him when he told me what it was, so I countered the spell, no da." 

Across the room, sitting on the cot, Chuin sighed quietly, looking morosely at his hands. 

__

Poor guy, I thought. _If he had to go through what I went through…and the only reason he couldn't stop it was because he wasn't sure enough of his own heart…then I feel even sorrier for him. _

I scanned the faces of my friends, a subconscious reassurance that everyone was present. Everyone was looking off into space, deep in thought over what I'd said; Taka, Miaka, Doukun, Ayuru…

__

Whoah. Hold on.

My eyes going back to Ayuru, I found that, instead of pensive, he actually looked worried. He always underplayed all his emotions, but the worry was definitely there…and he was staring at something off in the corner of the room. Following his gaze, I discovered that it led to…

__

Uhhhhwha???

…Chuin?!

__

Whazzaaa???? 

I blinked, shooting my eyes back and forth between Ayuru and Chuin. Ayuru—_worried eyes worried eyes—_and Chuin—_sad sad sad definitely something to worry about_.

__

Holy.

Crap.

I CAN TOTALLY HOOK THEM UP!!!!!

"Ryuuen, no da," said Houjun, breaking the silence, and I perked up, attentive despite the bubbly feeling that had begun in my chest.

__

Ahahahahaha, Ayuru and Chuin!!!! Ayuru and…ahhhh, kay, answerthemonk'squestion!!

"Hm?" I said.

"If you don't mind my asking," he said gently, "I think we're all wondering… How did Miboshi attempt to turn you?"

It wasn't important, not really, and it was obvious that Houjun was asking this as more of a "Does Ryuuen Have Psychological Issues That Might Need Clearing Up?" type of question. But I didn't know what to say, and I felt my face drain itself of blood. How could I tell them what had happened to me? It would hurt them if they knew, it would hurt them if they knew I'd even _considered _the fact that they could have said such awful things. And I didn't want them to feel bad for something that wasn't their fault at all. 

I caught Chuin's eyes, because he was the only one who would ever know the truth. He had raised his head, and was staring at me with a pained look on his face.

"Ryuuen…you can tell us," Sai said, rubbing my back. "Or…" His voice grew quieter. "…Would you rather just tell me? Or Houjun, or Myojuan?" 

__

Nooo, I don't want to tell ANYONE.

"It…was a spell," I said, trying to appear natural. "It was a spell she used…not like kodoku, she didn't try to make me drink anything…but a spell. It felt like an icicle inside me, or something…but then I thought of you guys, and it broke." I managed a smile. "That's all."

Houjun looked like he didn't believe me, but luckily, before he could say anything else, Doukun charged back to the important stuff.

"That's…that's it!" he exclaimed, and everyone looked at him in surprise. "Miboshi doesn't have the power to possess people anymore! All he…she…can do is potentially summon giant monsters from the ground! So she's trapped inside her body; she can't leave! And that means, all we need to do is kill her! That's all! Then it's over! We don't have to worry about being possessed ourselves!"

"Just because she can't possess people now doesn't mean she can't do so after we kill her," Taka cautioned. 

"Now we know it's a possibility, though!" Miaka said. "Now she won't catch us by surprise!"

"Do you have a spell that would capture her soul before she dies?" Amiboshi ventured quietly, addressing Houjun. "To trap her, just in case?"

Houjun nodded slowly. "I can find one. And I can also find ward spells, to protect us from being possessed, no da."

"And Ryuuen has the ticket to find her right there on his wrist!" Doukun cried, pointing at me. "She thinks he's evil, and therefore, he is above suspicion! Miboshi's very self-confident; it's a small wonder he failed to provide any sort of insurance spell to test whether Ryuuen had actually turned."

Sai put his other arm around me, almost possessively. "Lucky for us she didn't."

"Fuckin _hell_, are you sayin we should fuckin send Ryuuen _back _to that place?" Genrou shouted, obviously not pleased with the idea. "After all the time we spent fuckin worrying our asses off, you wanna send him _back_??!"

Doukun's expression changed to one of mortification, his eyes wide; then, he hung his head. "I…I'm sorry," he said. "Really, I…I'm just thinking about it logically. Logically…that's how it should work. It's the best way we have." He lifted his chin, staring at me with apologetic green eyes. "Ryuuen, I didn't even think. Of course, if you don't want to go…no one will make you go. It would be completely understandable if you didn't want to. You've already done more than enough, and it would be unfair to make you go back there when it's obvious that he made you suffer."

My heart caught in my chest. _Obvious? Who's obvious??! _

"There's nothing wrong with saying no," Sai said, and from his tone, that was exactly what he wanted me to do.

But deep down, I knew I had to go. I couldn't say no, I couldn't prolong the danger we were in just because of the gnawing discomfort I felt in my stomach at the prospect of meeting Miboshi again. If I'd escaped for a reason, that reason had to be to bring the others back to defeat her. 

"I'll go," I whispered, though I couldn't look at anyone. "It'd be stupid for me to stay behind when…well, Doukun's right. I've got a free pass back to find her."

There was a long pause, and I started to feel uncomfortable, but didn't dare to raise my eyes to see the expressions on everyone's faces. 

__

It's the right thing to do. It's logical, and the fate of the world is more important than I am.

"Then I'm going with you," Sai said firmly, and tugged me into his chest. "If you go, then I'm going with you."

Somehow, I knew he'd say that, and I nodded against him, understanding that it would be pointless to argue.

"Well…dontcha think we oughta talk about who'd be the best…" Tom began, but Sai cut him off.

"I'm going," he said, and silence reigned once more.

"It looks as if I'll have to go, too, no da," Houjun said. "I'll figure out how to do the spells somehow…the ward and the exorcism, no da."

"Fuck," Genrou muttered, obviously not pleased with the entire situation, and sulked on the bed.

"Sai, are you strong enough to beat Miboshi alone?" Miaka asked carefully. "You and Ryuuen together, I mean?"

"No," I said, answering for him. "We're not. She's…she's got powers that we don't know about, and she screams in your head, and…" I shuddered and sighed. "Two people aren't enough to kill her."

"Let me go," Doukun pleaded. "I just…it's something I have to do. You _must _let me go."

"Great logic, Doukun," Gen-chan snorted. "What're you gonna do, challenge her to a fuckin spelling bee??!"

Doukun looked upset at that, and looked at the floor. I could tell he knew that he wasn't the best choice, no matter how much he wanted to give Miboshi a good kick in the pants for old times' sake. Amiboshi, who was sitting next to him, gave him a clumsy pat on the shoulder, and Doukun breathed a heavy sigh.

"I'll go," said an unmistakable voice, and I raised my head in surprise. Everyone else had turned their heads in the same direction, shocked into silence. But I don't know why we were surprised, really. He'd always been brave, in a cool-cucumber kind of way.

"N…Nakago-sama," quavered Chuin softly, astonished, and blushed, lowering his eyes again.

__

Ohhh, I am SO hooking them up.

Ayuru remained calm, unblinking. "I might throw Miboshi off balance," he said evenly. "I doubt she'd be expecting me so soon. And as I demonstrated a few days ago—with all due respect to Genrou-kun—my powers are quite formidable. I'm confident that the three of us combined will be able to triumph."

"Or at least if ya fail, you can sing her some fuckin Gilbert and Sullivan," Gen-chan muttered.

Ayuru dropped his chin, closing his eyes. "I hope you're not insulting Gilbert and Sullivan, Genrou-kun. For, if so, I will not be responsible for my actions."

I giggled at Gen-chan's indignant expression.

"Ayuru-kun," said Myojuan, "you know that you'd be in grave danger if this plan were to backfire. Miboshi would certainly want to keep you, and use you for her own purposes."

"While I understand the necessity to keep the majority of Seiryuu seishi free from capture," Ayuru continued, raising his eyes again, still solemn, "I believe that, in the case of capture, I would be the safest one of the four of us. Miboshi needs the Seiryuu seishi; the Suzaku, on the other hand, she should have no qualms in killing."

"Thanks for bein so fuckin tactful," Gen-chan said.

"And besides…it's the least I can do," the yellow-haired policeman added. "It's the least I can do, after all I've done in the past…and after all that Miboshi has done to hurt you…all of you." My eyes widened at his speech, watching as Ayuru's gaze slid slowly around the room, pausing to lock on each of us in turn. "If I am captured, I trust that the rest of you will continue to fight. For it would be a shame indeed…to lose without putting up a fight."

Silence again.

Finally, Ayuru nodded once. "That's…that's all I have to say. Please, continue the conversation."

"Aww, Ayuru-chaaaaaan!" Miaka wailed, and I smiled, knowing he'd won her over. "You're so nice!! Taka, wasn't that nice of him to say??!"

Taka was blinking, as if uncertain whether to agree with her or not. But finally, his mouth twisted into a tiny smile, and he nodded, meeting Ayuru's eyes briefly. "Yeah," he admitted, nodding. "Yeah, it was."

"Fuck, I think he's _blushing_!" Gen-chan crowed, and started laughing.

Ayuru looked up to glare at him, his eyes as cold as ice, and Genrou subsided with a squeak. "I do not blush," the former shogun said dangerously.

"Awwww, you're so cool, Ayuru-chan!" Miaka cried, launching herself at him and glomping him hard. "I'm so glad you're one of the good guys now!!" Ayuru's eyes nearly popped out of his head, and I giggled even harder.

"It's settled, then," said Houjun, and slid off of the bed. "Now…I suggest that everyone get a good night's sleep. Let Miboshi think that Ryuuen is plotting his move, no da." Everyone snickered, and I felt a small bud of pride return to my chest at the reminder that I'd fooled her.

We bade the people from the other room good night, and Ayuru went to take his nightly shower. Miaka, Taka, Gen-chan, and Doukun started to get ready for bed, going into the other bathroom to brush their teeth. And for some reason, Houjun hadn't left our room yet. He stood by the edge of the bed Sai and I were sitting on, and looked me straight in the eye, a serious expression on his face. Before I could ask him what was wrong, he started to talk in low tones.

"Ryuuen," he said, "I don't know any spell that has the power to turn someone evil all by itself. All the ones I'm aware of require something else in combination, ranging from physical to emotional torture."

I felt my skin go pale once more, and averted my eyes, wrapping my arms around my chest.

"I understand why you didn't want to mention anything in front of everyone," Houjun continued. "But I strongly urge you, for your own health and safety, to tell someone what she did to you."

I had the strongest urge to just ignore him, pretend he wasn't saying anything so I wouldn't have to talk. But I knew I couldn't do that, so, after a long pause, I told him the truth.

"I don't want to."

"Ryuuen," said Sai, sounding the slightest bit hurt. "You don't need to be afraid. We just… We don't want you to be alone. If she hurt you, well…you shouldn't have to keep it to yourself. That's not the way to handle things, right?"

"It wasn't a big deal," I muttered, frowning. 

Houjun tried again. "If…"

"Look, I beat her, didn't I?" I said, more harshly than I'd intended. "I…I beat her, the spell didn't work. It didn't work, so it can't have been that bad, _can _it?" And I stood up and left, grabbing my toothbrush and walking into the other room.

"Aha, Ryuu-chan!" Miaka greeted me as I walked into the bathroom, trying to calm myself down. She was doing some sort of facial cleansing thing with a small white pad that smelled like rubbing alcohol. "You know, you were right! Ayuru's so cool! He's like, Kickass Policeman Guy!" She giggled nervously at the swear word she'd used. 

I managed a smile, running my yellow toothbrush under the faucet. "Yeah, he's nice."

On Miaka's other side, Gen-chan spit a mouthful of toothpaste into the sink. Wiping his mouth on a washcloth, he grinned at me. "We're gonna watch some free HBO; wanna join the party?"

With a somewhat larger smile as I squeezed some toothpaste out of the tube, I nodded. "Sure! Sounds like fun!" It would keep me in a crowd, at least, so Houjun and Sai wouldn't try to gang up on me anymore.

As I brushed my teeth, listening to Gen-chan and Miaka console Doukun about not being able to go fight Miboshi, I watched myself in the mirror. I looked like I'd been through a minefield in France, but I was beyond caring. To tell the truth, I was feeling really awful about snapping at Houjun and Sai. But they couldn't make me tell them what happened. There was no way. It was for their own good, although they couldn't understand that.

When I'd finished brushing and stepped back outside, though, I saw, to my horror, that Houjun was talking quietly to Chuin in the doorway between the two rooms. Freezing in my tracks, despair in my heart, I watched as Chuin swiped hastily at his eyes, hanging his head; Houjun's face was unreadable, but he murmured something to Chuin and patted his shoulder. As Chuin turned away and headed for his cot, Houjun looked up…and his eyes locked with mine.

"Ryuuen," he said, "can we talk to you, please?"

I just stood there stupidly, only aware that the others weren't paying attention, but were piled on top of the bed closest to the TV. Tom was saying something about Suboshi having smelly feet.

Then, Houjun reached out his arm and beckoned for me to come to him, his mouth relaxing into a tired smile. And I knew that this was one battle I'd lost. Nearly dragging my feet, I walked over to the doorway, feeling tears of frustration prick at the corners of my eyes.

__

Damn Chuin! Why'd he have to go and tell? Why do they have to be so nosy, when it's MY life and MY emotions we're talking about??

I knew it was because they were my friends, and that they truly cared about me. And in a way, I was glad that they worried so much. But, still…I wished I didn't have to tell them. 

Houjun closed the door behind us as we stepped into the room; Ayuru was still in the shower, but he always took forever, so we didn't have to worry about being interrupted. Sai was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking concerned, and I just felt sick about how much he'd gone through. And there I was, about to _add _to his misery. But he smiled at me, too, and held out his arm so that I'd go sit next to him on the bed. I did so, but rather stiffly; Houjun pulled the chair from the table over to sit across from us.

"What did she show you?" Sai asked gently, patiently, and my resolve not to cry shattered. I didn't speak for a while, hoping my quiet tears would let up so I could actually sound half-way in control…but waiting didn't make things any better. Sai put an arm around my shoulders, but the loving contact only made my face scrunch up unattractively, and I turned to hide my face in his shoulder.

He hugged me as I tried to calm myself down, my back heaving with deep breaths. "Shhhh," he said, and kissed my head like he'd done before in the van. "We just want to help you, sweetie, okay? We don't want you to hurt."

"I…I don't want you to hurt, either," I managed to hiccup. "That's why…that's why I didn't…want to tell you…"

I felt something soft press against my hand, and found that Houjun was handing me a Kleenex. Laughing despite myself, I thanked him, and wiped at my nose.

"Chuin told us the basics, no da," Houjun said kindly. "He didn't want to at first, but we explained to him that it was for your own good, no da. I know you're afraid of hurting us by telling us that she almost had you believing her false visions, but believe me, we won't be hurt, no da. We weren't there; we didn't experience what you went through. So don't worry about us. You need to clear your heart of burdens, no da."

My breath shuddering in my chest, I shut my eyes and let my tears fall, shifting a bit to wrap my arms around Sai's neck. I inhaled slowly, then let it out…and I knew they were right. 

"She tried to tell me…that you weren't really my friends…that you didn't care for me at all," I said in a small voice. And I told them everything that Miboshi had shown me: Hotohori-sama in the past, Houjun and Genrou, Taka and Sai, saying all those horrible things that pierced into my heart and mind. They listened intently, giving me support and comfort when I needed it…and when I'd finally finished, my chest felt so light, I almost smiled. 

__

They were right. It feels so much better not having to hide it. It feels so much better knowing…that they know. And that they care.

"I know it wasn't real," I said, wiping my eyes one last time. "I know it wasn't. But it still…it still really got to me, you know? All of my fears… She somehow got into my head and found all my fears, and showed them to me…and for a little while, it was _almost _like it was real. But…I saw through it. I beat her."

"And I'm so proud of you," Sai whispered, hugging me tighter.

"It takes a very strong person to ignore his eyes and see with his heart," Houjun agreed, and brushed at my hair with his hand.

I smiled at the compliment, and blushed into the bargain. "Thanks, guys," I said quietly. "I'm…I'm sorry I snapped at you before."

"It's okay," Sai assured me. "I'm just glad you talked to us."

"Chuin hasn't told anyone the specifics of his encounter with Miboshi, has he?" I asked suddenly.

There was a slight pause before Houjun said, "Uhhh, well…No, I don't think he has, no da…"

"He should," I whispered. "It does make things better. He should tell someone."

Sai smiled. "Well, we'll see what we can arrange. Who do you suggest should speak with him?"

Just then, the door to the bathroom swung open, and out stepped Ayuru, humming to himself and drying his hair with his towel. I giggled, and he looked up, blinking in surprise to see three sets of wide eyes staring right at him.

"…What?" he said, dubious.

****

TBC…

Notes: Sorry for the sap!!! ^_^;;; I hope it was decent sap. Ahem, anywayyyyy… So! Hope you guys liked this part and stuff. ^_^;

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YET ANOTHER STORY AKUGI!! Take One:

Houjun: It takes a very strong person to ignore his eyes and see with his heart.

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Ryuuen: Hey!! That would be a good title for a fanfic!!

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Mouse-chan: --;;;

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Take Two: (just for you, Ryu-chan. ^_~ ) (warning: original characters involved!! They're mine, all mine!! Please do not use them. ^_~ Thank yooou!)

Freddie: I say! Mouse-chan certainly is finding many ways to hook up her male characters, isn't she?

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Gil: Aye, she sure is. Been wondrin if we're any of us safe. 

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Freddie: **nervous chuckle**

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Gil: **nervous sigh**

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Freddie: **glances around** 

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Gil: **twiddles his thumbs**

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Mouse-chan: Oh, for _crying out loud_, you two!! You're not gay!!

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Gil: But Oscar Wilde was gay!

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Mouse-chan: Since when do you want to be like Oscar Wilde??!

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Freddie: Remember, erm…he has the…Famous Author Syndrome.

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Mouse-chan: …

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Freddie: Well, goodness, don't look at me. _You're _the one who _gave _it to him.

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Mouse-chan: Gilbert, dear… Oscar Wilde wasn't gay. He was bisexual.

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Gil: **beaming** Wonderful, then! I used to be married!

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Freddie: O.O;;;

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Mouse-chan: **pinching sinuses** He…also served years of hard labor after he was convicted of corrupting the young.

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Gil: **shrug** It'll give me somethin to write about, won't it?

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Mouse-chan: I am not having this conversation with you.

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Freddie: Ahahaha…aha…hmm. You know……………let's go have tea.

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Gil: Will you fetch my sandwiches for me, then?

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Freddie: …What, you were assuming _I'd _be the dominant one in the relationship?

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Mouse-chan: --;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

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Gil: Can I write you into my book?

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Freddie: Why not? You've already written _yourself _into _my _book.

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Gil: ^____^ Aye, that was fun. 

**they meander off to the tea room**

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Mouse-chan: **long suffering sigh** As hard as I try to keep my male characters from liking each other _too much_…

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Doggeran: Wha's wrong wi' _t'at_, exactleh?

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Mouse-chan: Go…away. Don't talk to me; your dialect comes out looking all weird.

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Doggeran: Is t'at s'posed ta be an et'nic slur? :P

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Mouse-chan: Ahhh, why don't you just go read some Forster or visit Jamie in the loony bin, or something???!?!

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Doggeran: **shrug** A'right! **leaves**

THE END. --;

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	25. Optimism

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Warnings: Nothin I'm aware of. Shounen ai. Duh.

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Notes: Hi, guys!!! **wavewave** Okay, so, this chapter is really really short; it's actually only half the size of a normal chapter. But I really wanted to post something today, to prove to y'all I'm not dead in a gutter somewhere. ^_^;; Lots of people have written me really nice emails that I haven't replied to yet, and I'm sorry! I promise I'll get to them soon. **nod** Likewise for the bunch who are patiently waiting for their AS character test results…sorry!! Seriously, blame my teachers! I have twoooo papers and twoooo presentations due on Monday when I get back from school, and have basically been writing papers nonstop for three months. **dies** But never fear! In two weeks, my semester ends, and I'll be able to do many more productive things. ^___^

Until then, I hope you don't mind this little mini-chapter. I'm leaving to drive seven hours in the car to Thanksgiving in a little under half an hour, and therefore, I cannot write more. **tragic** But I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving, and those of you who don't have Thanksgiving, have a good Thursday! ^_^

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YET ANOTHER STORY

Chapter 25:

Optimism

"So," said Ayuru, "you would like me to have a heart-to-heart discussion with…Chuin." It was morning, and most of the others had gone down for breakfast. Houjun, Sai, Ayuru and I had remained behind to talk a little about going to see Miboshi; my hair was still slightly damp from the shower, and I was sitting cross-legged on the bed, swaying back and forth and grinning despite our imminent battle.

"Won't you, Ayuru-chan?" I begged. "You're both Seiryuu seishi and all, and he might feel more comfortable talking to you. And, well…I think he really _needs _to talk, after what he's been through."

"He does seem to have a certain…affinity toward you," Sai put in, a hint of amusement in his voice, and Ayuru cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Please, no da," Houjun put in quickly. "Please consider it. Ryuuen or Saihitei could try, but I think guilt for…a certain conflict between them might prevent him from truly opening up, no da."

Ayuru still looked doubtful, so I jumped in again. "He doesn't have any friends; he's really lonely, and all he needs is someone to talk to." _And someone to looooooove_. "And Houjun's right; I don't think he'd talk to us about anything deep."

Something glinted in his eyes, and he let his gaze slip to the floor. Letting out a sigh, he finally conceded. "On the condition that I return from Miboshi's lair in one piece," he promised, "I will talk to him."

__

Because ya liiiiiiiiiiiike him!!!

"Thanks, Ayuru," I said, trying to contain my grin and not give the game away. 

The others came noisily into the room just then, shouting that they'd smuggled some breakfast for the rest of us, and Ayuru excused himself to go eat. I looked up at Sai and beamed.

"Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match…" I sang quietly, giggling, and he chuckled and shook his head.

"How do you even know he swings that way, no da?" Houjun grinned.

I shrugged. "I just saw him looking at Chuin. I can tell." _Dude, I have a gaydar!!!!_

"All right; back to the plan, if you please," Sai said, pulling softly and playfully on my hair to make me shut up. "Is everything clear?"

"Sure." I nodded. "Bring you in to Miboshi, you'll pretend I've betrayed you and back away, Ayuru will charge at me like he's mad but turn around just in time to nuke Miboshi and you'll watch our backs, and then Houjun'll do the exorcism thing."

"We'll be warded against being turned," Houjun reminded us for the umpteenth time, "but not against her powers, na no da. So we have to keep our hearts as strong as possible, and see past her illusions if she chooses to use them, no da."

"And whatever other powers she's collected," Sai put in. "We know for certain she has Tokaki, Subaru, and Soi…so she can teleport, manipulate time, and control the weather, as well. Plus, whatever fear-sensing power she used on Ryuuen."

"Crap, she can control the weather?" I said, mock-serious. "Hope she doesn't rain on our parade."

Houjun gave me a funny look, and Sai put his hand over my mouth. I giggled and kissed his palm, and he pulled me against him fondly.

"Sai," I said suddenly, prying his hand away so I could talk. "Do you have… You don't have a sword, do you? And your powers, well, they… You kinda need a sword for them, don't you?"

"Well, as it turns out…" He smiled rather sheepishly. "I _do _have one."

I could feel my eyes widen. "Huh?" I'd never even seen Sai _look _at a sword, let alone _possess _one. "How'd you do that?"

"Ayuru gave it to me."

__

…Scuse me? 

"Ayuru gave you a _sword_?"

He nodded, the smile becoming more amused. "That's right. He brought it in his bag; apparently, he thought it might come in useful. But he gave it to me when you were…gone." A slight flicker of pain danced through his eyes despite his grin, and my heart clenched. "I think he was trying to calm me down, as if he was giving a lollipop to a child to make the child forget that he'd just had a rather uncomfortable shot."

"So he gave you a sword," I said, more than slightly befuddled.

Sai cocked his eyebrow at me. "Indeed. He did."

"Do you know how to use it?"

"I believe my memories of the technique are intact, yes."

__

My boyfriend is a SWORD GUY!!!

"That's so coooool!" I breathed, eyes wide.

"You're cooler," he teased, the goofiness twitching at the corner of his mouth.

"No, you are."

"No, _you _are."

"No, _you _are; you've got cool sword power stuff, and you're smart and nice and, y'know, not so bad to look at."

"Oh, yeah?" He narrowed his eyes and lowered his head to touch his nose to mine. "Well, you're Ryuuen."

"Ahh…hhhhem…no da," Houjun coughed, as I tried not to melt. "I'll…go see what they brought us for breakfast, no da…um…and I'll give Kouran a call…" He rose from his chair, straightening his shirt.

That snapped me out of it, and I grew suddenly and amazingly worried that he'd drawn certain conclusions that shouldn't have been drawn. Without thinking, I blurted, very loudly, "we're not gonna have sex!!"

Houjun froze, his eyebrows shooting up until they almost reached his hairline; beside me, I felt Sai move a hand to his temple and rub it.

__

Oh. My. God. 

"I mean we haven't _ever_…um… Nothing we do is what you might…think it might…be..." Now, I know I've been mighty embarrassed over the course of my life, but this particular event would probably win the Grand Prize. What can I say, though? It was weird to think that my friends might think that Sai and I had done…_something_…and even if we had, it'd still be weird. I knew Miaka and Taka had done stuff, and I _really _didn't wanna think about that, because, likewise, it was _weird_. And with Genrou, well, I'd known him since _preschool_…

__

Okay, Ryuuen…can we stop thinking about people having sex now?! PLEASE?!

"It's…ahahaha," Houjun said, looking slightly embarrassed himself. "To tell the truth, I wasn't even considering…that, no da. It's just that you two haven't had any time alone…to do _anything_," he put in quickly, "for a long time, and considering what happened yesterday, I thought you might appreciate it, no da."

Could my face turn any redder? Well, we were going to find out. "…Oh," I said in a small voice. "Um. O-okay." 

He smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry, no da. My mind's clear out of the gutter, na no da." Giving us a wave with two fingers, he slipped out the door in search of food and a phone.

Letting out a long breath, I turned sheepish eyes to Sai. "Can I bang my head against something hard now, please?"

"Oh, I don't think that will be necessary," he replied, brushing the hair away from my face. "I know you're nervous where that area is concerned, and Houjun won't tease us. Just be grateful it wasn't Genrou or Tom in here with you."

"Sorry if I embarrassed you," I mumbled, tilting my head to rest it on his shoulder.

"Surprised, but not embarrassed," he said, and put his arms around me. "Now, listen…when we fight Miboshi, you get to me as soon as you can, all right? I want you close to me, just in case something unexpected happens."

"Sai, I don't want you to worry about me when you should be watching out for _yourself_…"

"Well, I'll worry much less if you're close to me."

"I'm a seishi, too," I sighed, frowning slightly. "I should be able to take care of myself so no one will worry."

"You're a seishi who's only had his memories for a few months," he said firmly. "And while many things about being a celestial warrior are innate, you're not used to any of this."

"Neither is Ayuru," I insisted. "He's only known for a few days. Are you gonna ask him to stand near you, too?"

"Ayuru is a policeman. He has spent the past ten years enforcing the law. He carries a loaded weapon. Whereas _you _have been stuck in a college dorm room writing papers about the Great War for nearly one-fifth of your life. I assure you, I mean this in the fondest possible way, but you, my darling, are a nerd."

"Yes, but I'm a _superhuman _nerd," I reminded him.

"I know. Sweetheart…I just don't want anything to happen to you if I'm not there to protect you. Can you understand that, at least? I _know _you can protect yourself, but if something should happen…" His arms tightened across my back. "Do it for me, then, because I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I couldn't protect you."

Emotion after emotion drilled itself into my heart. Normally, I would have agreed quickly to Sai's request, not for my own benefit, but because I _did _understand the guilt he felt. I also understood that there really wasn't anything I could do to assuage that guilt. But I was now faced with my _own _guilt. I wanted to prove I could look after myself, I really did. There was a certain security that went along with knowing someone was looking out for me, but as a seishi, I shouldn't fall victim to such things. I'd _sort of _already showed them I was self-sufficient with the whole Captured By Miboshi thing, but that had only made it worse. 

Well, come to think of it, recent events in general had not been conductive to the idea of Me as a Competent Self-Taking-Care-Of-er. Or whatever. First there was Chuin, then there was the aftermath of Chuin, then there was my traumatized reaction to seeing Gen-chan Chii-ified by Ayuru, then there was _more _Chuin aftermath, and only _then _do we come to the Captured By Miboshi thing.

__

Why the hell am I so needy?? I never used to be so needy!!

…Then again, I never used to have friends getting fried or people disguised as my boyfriend trying to rape me.

"Ryuuen," said Sai, gentle but firm. "Promise me you'll do what I ask."

__

Sigh.

"I'll get over to your side as soon as I can," I promised quietly. "But if I need to fight, I'm fighting. I don't want you to have to fight for both of us."

He kissed my ear. "It's a deal."

We sat there for a few moments, listening to our friends chattering in the connecting room. Apparently, there was some dispute as to exactly how many bagels they'd actually smuggled up, in contrast with how many bagels had actually arrived at the room. Miaka was vehemently denying having anything to do with their mysterious disappearance.

"I wish you didn't have to go," Sai said, so quietly that I had to wait a few seconds before replying as I deciphered exactly what he'd said. I wasn't sure he'd meant to say that, because it wasn't like Sai to say things that made him sound so young, even vulnerable. 

Pulling away, I met his soft eyes and smiled. "I know. I wish _nobody _had to go. But you know we do. It is our duty and our destiny!" I said dramatically, tilting my chin up. "And I am the _slave _of duty!"

I was rewarded with a tiny grin. "Is that _another _Gilbert and Sullivan song cue?"

"I'll take a rain check."

He nodded.

"We can use it if Miboshi decides to use Soi's seishi powers on us."

It took him a few seconds to get my stupid joke, but it made him laugh anyway. 

"And anyway," I continued, a bit more seriously, "Suzaku can't let anything awful happen to us. This is our second chance, right? This is the life in which we're all supposed to be happy, to make up for all the bad stuff before. And it wouldn't make sense to have _everyone _be so happy and then let a stupid floating sorority girl ruin it all."

Sai's smile grew a little sad. "I wish I had your optimism."

"Here, you can borrow some," I said, and pressed my palm to his forehead. "Zzzzzzzzzz! There; you are now infused."

He chuckled, closing his eyes. "Thank you. All right; now, let's make one more promise."

"Hm?"

Mouth curving upward, he looked up once again. "After this, no more adventures."

I nodded. "All right, Bilbo. I hope so. But seishiness is seishiness, after all, and we might not be able to help it."

"But if we can, we will," he insisted.

"Most definitely," I agreed. 

A shadow in the doorway alerted us that someone had moved to stand there, and, looking up, we saw that it was Gen-chan. His hair tousled and his face uncharacteristically solemn, he gazed at both of us and sighed.

"They're ready if you are," he said, and with Sai's hand resting on my shoulder, we got up and followed him into the next room.

****

TBC…

Notes: Ehehe, again, sorry it's so short. ^_^;; Hope it's okay. Oh, and I didn't have time to edit it much…I will as soon as I can!

Jaaa!

YET ANOTHER TYPO: ****

1) What Mouse-chan Originally Wrote: "Ayuru is a policeman. He has spent the past ten years enforcing crime."

2) What Mouse-chan Originally Wrote: "Sai put his other arms around me…" O.o; Exactly how many arms does Sai HAVE?!?! ****

Octopussai: Well, now that you mention it…

^_~


	26. A Little More Optimism, To Make the Chap...

****

Notes: Whazzaaaaaaaaaaap, y'all?? Sorry it took me so darn long to update, but I have not, in fact, been murdered in my sleep or sucked into the Black Pit of Hell. Although I do tend to disappear from time to time, I will not stop writing these fics until they are all completed. That is my solemn promise. **nod** 

So much has happened since the last chapter! To me, I mean. Not to Ryuuen. Ryuuen was stuck in some sort of timetrap walking from one room to the other for about a month. But Mouse-chan has now got the Fellowship of the Ring Special Extended Edition! With actor commentary and interviews and everything! And we also went to go see the midnight showing of The Two Towers; because finding a good seat necessitated going to the theater two hours in advance, I brought along my Merry and Pippin action figures. Schwencky and I had lots of fun, including the creation of an interesting crossover: Merry Potter. ( "Yer a Hobbit, Merry!" ) Yes, we were a bit tired and strung out on gummy candy. But hey. 

(For all who might care, I enjoyed TTT immensely, but thought it seriously lacking in the hobbit department. The Merry and Pippin action figures were fairly disappointed that they didn't make it into the movie more. But anyway. ^_~ )

Shout outs to Kryssa, Roku, Aikido, Chichiri's Girl, and Tamahome's Girl, just cuz they're cool and I can. ^_~ Fish tacos and guacamole all around.

And speaking of Kryssa, everyone should go read her story, "Between Seishi and Gods!" It's so good, yet so under-appreciated. As a matter of fact, go read all her stuff, because she's cool and she develops pictures very very quickly. **nod** 

Thanks to everyone who's reviewed! Sorry again for the delay. 

****

YET ANOTHER STORY

Chapter 25 ½:

A Little More Optimism, To Make The   
Chapter Complete. ^_^;;

The more we talked about fighting Miboshi, the more I wanted to just forget about everything. I wanted to go back home and hide in my bed and pretend everything was just a dream, maybe watch a special on prehistoric wildlife on The Discovery Channel or something, immerse myself in a different world, one that wasn't so real. A tiny part of me even started wishing I wasn't a seishi at all, just a guy with an awesome boyfriend and colorful friends. But in my heart, I knew that nothing I could do would change things, and by trying to wish them away, I was really doing more harm than good, anyway.

Apparently, Gen-chan shared my opinions.

"Shit," he mumbled as we went through last-minute preparations. "This is fuckin insane, guys. Why the fuck did Suzaku have to choose _us_, for fuck's sake???" His voice, which had been calm and inordinately subdued throughout most of the conversation, began to rise in volume. "What the fuck's the point of bringin us all together if we have to fuckin sit here on our asses while you guys go out and fight the fuckin war??!"

"I agree with you, Genrou," Doukun put in quietly, raising his eyes to look at Houjun and Sai. "But we can't afford to debate the issue any more. It's been decided, and this is the best way to do it."

"But if anything really bad happens, at least Chichiri has his kasa, and his kesa, too, right?" Miaka piped up, her voice shaking and anxious. "So at least you guys can get away, right?"

We all looked expectantly at Houjun, whose face had grown serious. After a moment of silence, he spoke softly. "We could, no da. But we would have to weigh the consequences of escape."

"_What _fuckin consequences? Like you guys not gettin the shit beat outa ya?!"

"If we were to escape at an unforeseen attack," said Ayuru, just as quietly as Houjun, "we would save our own lives, yes. However, Miboshi would never let us get close to him if he did not believe Ryuuen to be under her control. We have one chance, the chance Ryuuen has given us. If we run away, another such opportunity might never come."

__

Gahhh, holy crap.

I let out a small sigh, not panicking, but trying to let the idea sink into my chest and be accepted in a way that would not cause me to worry too much. If I worried too much, the worry would cloud my mind and I wouldn't be of any help at all once we got to Miboshi's Giant Bubble.

__

Cloud your mind, worry does. Clear it to succeed, you must.

Sai chose that moment to reach down and take my hand in his, running his thumb lightly over my skin. With a last sigh, I smiled around at my friends and sorta-friends. "So…ehe. No pressure, huh?" I joked.

That brought a few smiles, and Tom chuckled quietly, though his expression was slightly nervous. But where Miaka was concerned, it only seemed to make things worse; her lower lip began to tremble until she bit it, and she flew at us suddenly, trying to hug me and Sai at the same time. 

"You better not die this time," she ordered in a quavering voice.

"And that goes fuckin _double _for me," Gen-chan muttered, glaring at us.

"So, uh…you don't want 'em to die…twice?" Tom inquired under his breath, and Gen-chan whapped him on the head.

I let my hand slip from Sai's and pushed Miaka back gently, so I could look into her eyes. "Hey," I said, smiling. "There's no way we're gonna die."

"Don't tell me it won't happen," she whispered, tears staring to form in her eyes, "because I never thought it could until it did."

This made me falter, because she was absolutely right. We'd never really talked directly about how people had felt after I'd died; aside from Sai, I'd rarely discussed it with anyone, and if they said anything about it, it was only a sentence or a word or so, or else it earned a sort of indirect mention. I guess it's not really stuff I wanna talk about, though, come to think of it. I can't just go up to people and go, "So, hey, didja feel bad when I died?" Talk about indelicate…but anyway. Miaka is similar to me in the respect that we're both…shall I say…prone to being emotional, whether we always show it or not. And if _she _ever died, I know I wouldn't take it very well, at all. I think if _any _of my friends died, I'd come very close to losing my mind.

__

Okay. Reflecting about this will only give me the jitters. Gotta stop.

Grinning again, I poked Miaka gently in the nose. "Well, that may be true. But I still say, there's no way in hell I'm gonna let myself die before I see the end of The Lord of the Rings."

A collective groan rose up from the bystanders, and my grin became more genuine. 

"What, you think I'm kidding?" I teased, and turned to Sai, who was gazing down at the sword he held. He'd let me look at it more closely a few minutes earlier; it was slim and light, and the hilt bore the image of a phoenix and a dragon intertwined. Given the whole Ayuru/Seiryuu/Suzaku/Sai thing, I thought it was _incredibly _cool. "Hey, if you broke your sword in half, you could be like Aragorn!"

"Ryuuen," he said with a slight frown, "why in the nine hells would I want to do _that_?"

"Well…because you're both great swordsmen, and you're both rulers of your…"

"Aragorn is a _terrible_ king," Sai said, rather heatedly. "He tries to shirk his duty by staying away from his kingdom for years! He allows his own personal fears and doubts to affect his hapless subjects. Now, in values, he would be a _good_ king, and would serve his country well…but he can't help the people of his country if he's _not there_! Instead, they let this miscreant Denethor rule Gondor, and what happens??"

"Hehe…ooookay, Sai," I said, blinking. "I totally did _not _mean to ignite the flames of passionate debate, here…"

Sai himself blinked a few times, then looked up. "Forgive me," he said. "I think I've been spending too much time among the ranks of the obsessed." Raising an eyebrow, he fixed me with a teasing look; I just smiled wider and worked my hand into his once more.

"It's time for us to go, no da," Houjun said, and Miaka sniffed and hugged me again. I had a hard time getting her to let me go so I could say goodbye to everyone else, but eventually, I got her to switch to Sai and went around to the others.

In the back of my mind, I knew that we were making a point of saying goodbye in case we never came back, in case we never saw each other again. I kinda wished I could call Kourin and Rokou and my parents, but there wasn't enough time for that. And besides, what the heck would I _say_?? "Hi, Mom…Dad… Sorry, I just wanted to say goodbye. I'm off to fight the reincarnation of an evil ancient Chinese floating gnome who is currently holding some of my friends captive in a giant floating bubble…" 

__

What's your problem, stupid? I berated myself. _You'll pull through! You always have before…well…in this life, anyway. This is your chance to live a happy life, remember? It's everybody's chance. Suzaku wouldn't take that away from us, not now._

Chuin looked like he was about to pass out when Ayuru said good-bye to him. His hands were shaking, and he seemed to be having a fair amount of trouble speaking; I crossed my fingers with the hope that they'd hug, but a pathetic handshake was all that resulted from their brief conversation. Not able to help myself, I rolled my eyes. 

__

Get a clue, Ayuru!! _What, do I have to staple "Hi, I'm Chuin, I'm Single, I'm Needy, I Like You" on the poor guy's forehead??_

Then again, perhaps the hugging thing was a bit premature. They'd only known each other in this life for a little more than a day, after all.

__

But, gahhh, they're just so OBVIOUS! 

Anyway. When our farewells had all been made, Houjun looked at me expectantly, and I summoned the swirling blue bracelet to my wrist. Glancing around at everyone for the last time as Houjun, Sai, and Ayuru all latched onto me, I threw them a peace sign and pressed the silvery diamond-shaped button that would carry us all to Miboshi's lair.

"Peace out!" I called, and the world faded around us into a sea of blue mist.

TBC…

YET ANOTHER STORY AKUGI!! ****

Ryuuen: What, do I have to staple "Hi, I'm Chuin, I'm Single, I'm Needy, I Like You" on the poor guy's forehead??

****

Ayuru: Yes.

****

Chuin: OWWWWWWW!

^_^;;

~ ****

**Mouse-chan Has Been Reading Too Much Tolkien!!**

Exhibit A: (original version) Chuin looked like he was about to pass out when Ayuru bade him farewell. --;;

~

(**Note: **According to Ryuen, Sai and Ryuuen seem to be "on drugs" in this chapter. ^_~ When asked if that statement applies solely to this chapter, the response was affirmative. What, Ryu-chan; Sai claiming half of Ryuuen's face in Chapter 18 doesn't count as "on drugs?" :P I rest my case. They've been on drugs all along, and this chapter is no exception. ^_~ )

Sorry it was short again, but it's really just a continuation of the last chapter (see title). ^_^ Hopefully, it'll be back soon. 

And as for Sai's comments on Gondorian politics…don't even ask. ^_^;;

Thanks for reading! Now, go read Kryssa's stuff! ^_~


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